Home Again

Started: 2009-03-26

Chapter One: Decisions and Questions 2009-03-26 – 2009-03-27

"Dad, please I really want to do this" Isabella Mayer said with determination in her voice. She had to do this no matter what he said, it was too important to her.

"But why Oakdale of all places when they are other places we can go to?" Noah Mayer asked frustrated while looking at his daughter.

He couldn't tell her the real reason why he didn't want to go to Oakdale, because he was still running away from his past, still after all this years and he was not sure if he was ready to face the it.. Not yet anyway.

"Because they have an amazing farm there and it is exactly what I am looking for to do this summer, that why"

Noah sighted loudly; sometimes he wondered where she got this stubbornness from…

"We talked about this Isabella" He had tried for weeks to convince her of other opportunities; maybe they could go to Scotland or someplace else. But no, she had decided for Oakdale and yet again they stood here arguing about it.

"Yes we did dad, and I decided that this how I want to spend my last summer, doing what I love most in this world" Said Bella and looked up in to her father's eyes, knowing that her words word hurt him.

She could see pain, sorrow but there was still a little hope in his eyes, a hope she knew only would make it harder for him to deal with the fact that she would be gone soon.

"Stop talking like that honey. There still a chance that thing will change. There still options for you, the doctors said…" But Isabella interrupted her dad.

"Stop it!" She said loud almost screaming at him, knowing that none of this was Noah's fault but he had to let her make her own choice, despite the consequences.

"I know what the doctors said but face it dad. But I know… No feel that I can't fight this anymore and if this is going to be my last summer I want to make the most of it. And the only way I can do that is in Oakdale, at that farm." Bella couldn't stop the tears that now were running down her face; she hated to have this conversation with her dad, because it always ended up with her crying.

Noah took a step towards his daughter and pulled her tightly to his chest, he embrace her hard like his and hers life depended on it and in some way it did.

´´Please god, if you really exist, don't take her away from me. She is my life, my soul and heart now. The only person that I have left that truly loves me.

But the only thing I can do for her right now is to make her happy, and if it means going to Oakdale again, so be it. Maybe it is time, maybe I have to do this to move on… To forget and leave it behind me.´´

They just stood their, hugging, seeking comfort and to save another moments with each other. "All right sweetie, I guess we are going to Oakdale this summer, just the two of us"

Bella looked up at her dad and smiled. "I love you dad" Noah smiled back "Love you too kid"

[3 week later]

"Isabella, I need you to lie still"

Bella sight heavy but tried to lie still, she knew the routine but somehow she never could get use to the X-ray, it frightened her more each time, and it only had bad news to tell her, every single time.

"Okay Isabella, we are done for today. But I still want you to come back on more time before the summer start. " Dr Mallard said.

"You got it doc." Bella answer before getting dressed again and soon she and her dad where yet again on their way from the hospital, with the weight of the test resultants on their shoulders.

"How about Italian today, it's been a while since we had that"

"Sounds good honey, I think there is an Italian restaurant around the corner. Come on, let's go" Noah answered.

Soon they had both ordered and sat down, deep down in their thought.

"Isabella" Bella looked up at her dad and smiled. "What is it dad?" Noah hesitated a little bit; he didn't know how to ask the question without making her upset. "I was just wondering isn't there another reason why you want to go to Oakdale of all places..."

He could see Bella's face and it was full of question. Maybe she doesn't remember… She was so little at that time, so vulnerable…

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down a little bit, this was another of those conversations he hated to have with his daughter, but like everything else this was necessary to.

"Your mother" he almost whispered it out, to afraid to see the reaction those two words would have. Bella only stared at him. "My mother? What do you mean?

"Your mother is buried at the Oakdale cemetery" Noah said quietly , looking down at his plate, no avoid eye contact, the memory's was still hunting him every night, that night when she left him with Isabella in his arm to walked the shadows of death.

Bella didn't respond at first, they never talked about her mum; it was a subject that never really had existed until now.

"She is?" her words was only a whisper to, she was afraid just like her dad. This couldn't even measure up to the sex talk he had with when she had turned sixteen last year, and that had been really bad but he had tried his best to talked to her even if her dad was gay…

Noah only nodded. He wished that he had never asked, but he knew his daughter and she had a way to take things in to her own hands.

Obviously the whole situation maid her stressed, which according to the doctors was really bad for her.

"I am so sorry, Isabella"

"What?" Bella looked up from her plate, even more confused the before "Dad, why are you apologizing to me?"

"I…" But Noah was unable to respons; he really didn't know why he had done it.

"Dad, is that the reason why you don't want to go to Oakdale? Is it too hard for you to return back home?"

Noah was taken back by the words that left her mouth. How did she now that is was hard that Not because of her mother, but of a man…
Oakdale had been his only real home, no matter how much he had moved around, and for some reason she had figured it out, by herself.

He knew that right now he couldn't lie to his daughter this time, or even avoid the question not until she got an answer from him today, right now she would see straight through him.

"Your right about one thing, yes it is hard for me to return home but not for the reason you think"

"Is it about a guy?" She asked curiously and suddenly started to grin toward her dad.

For the second time that evening Noah was surprised by how much his daughter could read about the whole situation.

Noah only nodded and soon he found himself blushing, something he hadn't done in years.

"So what's the story about you and this guy? He must still mean something since only the thought of him makes you blush" Bella teased which only made her dad blush even more; he almost had the same colure as a tomato.

"Come on dad!" Bella said with a laugh and playfully punched his shoulder.

And for the third time that evening Noah was yet again amazed by Bella, he hadn't see her this happy for a long time, he hadn't heard her laughter for almost six weeks and here she was, smiling towards him.

Thanks to the man that I ones loved with my heart and soul.´´

Could he really tell her about Him, and what they had shared before everything had broken apart, which only left him with a broken heart.

But Noah knew had to stop feeling sorry for what had happen between them, and if it hadn't happen he never would have Bella in his life, the only decision he never had regretted.

Noah took a deep breath and looked deep in Bella's eyes before he answered.

"The short story is that he was the love of my life. But somehow I messed, or I think we both messes it up somehow, and it all ended that I move here to California."

"But if he was the love of your life, how come you have him up dad? You once said that if you have something worth fighting for, you keep on fighting no matter how hard it gets. Because something's are worth getting you heart broken for!"

Had he really said that? It didn't sound like him, but then again he had change a lot the past years.

"I really said that?"

Bella laughed at her dads face, he looked so confused, like a lost lamb how is starting to realise where his mum is.. "Yes you did dad, yes you did."

Noah looked at his watch. "It is getting late, too late for you to be up at this hour" he said as he paid the waitress.

It didn't take long for them to get their stuff and after five minutes they were back at the house.

"Dad, I am going to check my e-mail then I am going straight to bed, okay?" Bella asked as soon that they got throw the front door. "All right, but then straight to bed!"

It didn't take Bella long to find what she was looking for. Slowly she clicked at the folder that said; Summer plans and found the E – mail she had been waiting for, the decision which would decide were she would spend this summer.

´´ Dear Isabella!

We are very happy to inform you that we have accepted you request and are happy that you are staying here this summer! My family and I hope that you will enjoy you visited here and take with you a lot of happy memories.

The horse you will be riding is a beautiful mare named Misty Moonlight, and I think that she will be perfect for you!

I need your dad's phone number and fax number too.

Talk to you soon

/ Holden Snyder ´´