Hey all. Another Twilight one-shot. This is Esme's feelings when she found out Bella was pregnant. I decided to make it so that it fit in with the actual story line of Breaking Dawn. This is BEFORE Jacob, Seth and Leah come along to protect the Cullen family. But it is just before Jake and Seth come to warn them about Sam's plan and we find out that Esme and Carlisle are seperated from the rest of the family.

Hope you all enjoy and I hope it isn't too out of character. :D

Disclaimer for full series - I do not own Twilight!

Without You By My Side.

Chapter I.

Esme's Reaction To Bella's Pregnancy.

How Is It Possible? How Is It Fair?

Bella was pregnant.

There was no doubt about it. When we picked Edward and her up from the airport, I could see the slight bulge of her stomach. Most humans would mistake it for excess weight but I knew Bella and I knew that she had a flat stomach.

When we arrived home Carlisle ran every test and they all came back positive. So, there really was no doubt about it.

I stood against my son and my husband when they wanted to terminate it. I sided with both my daughters, Rosalie and Bella.

It was a baby. How could they so easily take away it's life? The very idea hurt me. Carlisle would not side against me and so - in the end- we won the fight, but the war was far from over.

Edward was hurt that Bella went behind his back and that she so honourably protected the child, and to tell the truth, I was too.

I was hurt when Rosalie told us that Bella had phoned asking for her help. I bare no grudge against either of my daughters but she could've went to me! All this fighting would be unnecessary because Edward would never fight me and would hear me out. I would never shut him away from his soulmate as Rosalie was doing right now.

No, I do not bare a grudge against either of my daughters, but I couldn't help but feel hurt.

Carlisle was trying to be there for me but he couldn't keep his sons anddaughters in check, look after Bella, keep his family safe and make sure I was alright.

My beautiful blond god may be as near to perfect as there possibly can be, but he can't be everywhere at once and do everything at the same time.

Instead, I've taken to staying out of the way. Unable to stand the arguing. Unable to see Bella in pain. Unable to see all my family in pain.

Edward was hurting because Bella was hurting, Carlisle was in pain because he couldn't do anything to help find with Bella's pain, Emmett and Jasper hurt because they were constantly researching to see if they could find anything about half-breeds such as the one Bella was carrying now, and can't find anything, and Alice, Alice was hurting because she could no longer see her friend and couldn't determine her future and know if she was going to live because of the baby.

The only person who didn't seem to be in pain was Rosalie, and she was would be in physical pain soon if she didn't stop testing Edward's breaking point. I could see it in my most beloved son's face, every comment and movement was pushing him further and further until one time he would snap.

I spend my time in the attic with Alice, keeping her company and keeping her sane.

I only ever venture out to hunt, which was what I was currently doing.

I took a deep breath in and scented a herd of six deer to the West of where I was. I shut down all my senses, forgot about who I was, what I was feeling and what I was currently going through.

Only allowing my sense of smell and hearing to pull me to my hunt.

I heard the rustle of something behind me, but before I had a chance to react, the scent overcame me and I realised it was only Carlisle. He had came with me after he insisted on not leaving me alone. I had argued, saying I was not vulnerable and I was not going to do anything stupid, but he insisted. I stopped arguing after I realised that he probably couldn't bare to leave me alone and couldn't bare to be by himself.

I took down the stag and a doe first before I drained them. This is what I wanted and needed. A chance to escape. A chance to forget everything.

When I was finished, I looked back up to see Carlisle watching me. The sight of him would have stopped my heart if it were still beating.

In that moment I forgot about the carcasses at my feet, all I could see was him. My angel. I ran over to him and threw myself into his already waiting arms.

'Oh, Carlisle.' I sobbed uncontrollably.

His hand slowly stroked through my caramel locks, his other rubbing my back, trying to comfort me, but I couldn't be comforted. I was feeling too helpless, too sad, to be comforted.

'Esme,' He whispered softly, 'Tell me. Tell me exactly how you're feeling. Let me in. Let me help you.'

The desperate tone his voice took was too much for me. My pain was his pain. If I tried to shut him out he would only hurt more. The man always felt unworthy of me. I didn't see how. I always deemed myself unworthy of him. All through my human life he was my escape during my Hell. I told my son about him, and when I woke up through the pain and fire of my transformation, all I saw was him. He is my angel. He always was, and he always will be.

'I'm just so mad at everyone.' I started, I felt bad, knowing that this conversation would lead to him getting blamed slightly, and as much as I didn't want to, what I felt needed to be said. 'I'm mad a Bella for not trusting me, for not phoning me, for help. I would've been able to make Edward see sense without causing him any pain like Rose is doing. I'm mad at Edward for even thinking about terminating the baby. I'm mad at Rosalie for not caring about Bella's wellbeing, that she is only caring about the fact she may get a child out no matter the consequences. An-and...' I faltered. I couldn't hurt him. I just couldn't.

'And?' He pressed.

I shook my head and buried it into his chest, holding him tighter.

'Esme. Please tell me.'

'I-I-I'm mad at you.' I whispered and I felt him stiffen against me for a split second before his hands were caressing in me reassuringly, telling me to go on. 'I'm mad that you agreed with Edward's suggestion to have Bella abort the baby. Didn't you for once think about how she would feel or how...how I would feel? I've lost a baby. I know how bad you feel. A child is a part of you. It doesn't matter if you thought that you didn't want one or if the father was a monster...'

He growled at the mention of my previous husband and his grip became tighter on me, but I continued without stopping.

'...A mother and child grow a bond from the moment the baby is conceived. She is blessed that she can have a child with the man she loves. If she got changed before and then realised that she wanted one, it would be too late. Edward has enough self control and determination to make sure that she survives. And she will. But I am just so hurt and confused that this one little blessing is tearing my family apart.'

I stopped, breaking down into sobs again.

'Esme,' He whispered into my hair, 'How could I be so foolish? I knew that this would cause you pain but I didn't for once think that you would draw a parallel to your child, and I was foolish for not thinking it. I am so sorry for not being there for you and I am so sorry for hurting you, my love.'

'Don't blame yourself, you have more than enough trouble on your plate. But I've said what I needed to say, and if I feel the need to say anything else, you will be the first to know.'

We stood there for a few minutes, before I realised something.

'Carlisle?'

'Hmm?' He murmured.

'You hear that?'

'Hear what? I hear nothing.'

I grinned, 'Exactly. There is no noise. We are all alone. No children to interrupt us.'

His face soon relaxed and mimicked mine. One of longing, passion and lust.

I reached up and softly skimmed my lips against his, brushing our noses together before he couldn't take anymore and firmly pressed his lips to mine. I laughed breathlessly, which was soon replaced by a moan as his tongue brush against my lower lip. I opened my mouth, granting his tongue the entrance it was desperately looking for, his beginning a dance with mine.

My hands trailed up and knotted themselves in his golden hair, trying desperately to pull him closer. Tying to mash his body against mine. His hand cupped my cheek gently and pushed my head back slightly so he could deepen the kiss.

My hands descended to the top button of his shirt and just as I was about to open it-

Ring! Ring! Ring!

I sighed heavily as we had to break away from our moment of passion so that Carlisle could answer his cellphone.

As he pulled it out he looked at the caller I.D, 'Edward.' He mouthed to me.

Suddenly, any passion I had was replaced with worry, what if something happened to Bella whilst we were away? I would never forgive myself if Carlisle could have saved her had I not been so selfish and needy.

'Edward? What is it?' My husband asked my son.

Edward was talking so fast and quiet that I couldn't hear what he was saying. Nine seconds later, Carlisle said goodbye and hung up the phone.

'Looks like our alone time is going to have to wait, my dear. We have to get home.'

'Why?' I asked, afraid of the answer.

'Turns out the werewolves view Bella's baby as a threat. We are all in danger.'

Cliffhanger, I know but I decided that they wouldn't stop and discuss the whole ordeal. I'm sure that as soon as those words were out of Carlisle's mouth they would have ran to help.

Review? Please? I would love to hear from you :) Also it will NOT be getting continued. This is just a one-shot, so yeah :D

Charlotte xxx