Title: The Pink Haired Menace

Disclaimer:I do not own Bleach, however much I wish I could.

A/N: This is my first fanfic so please don't hate me if it sucks and I haven't read the manga (well not past the eigth volume), but I've watched all the episodes so if there's anything wrong with it please point it out and please review.

It was a peaceful day in Seireitei. For its occupants however, even with the threat of Azien looming over them, they still deserved a day or two off, right? Well, this was Zaraki Kenpachi's wish, but however, with Yachiru around, stuff like that wouldn't happen very much. Today, she was asking why Ken-chan looked so sad.

"Ken-chan why do you look so sad?" the little pink haired girl asked bouncing up and down.

"I dont look sad!" Zaraki spun around and stared at Yachiru in disbelief as if she had just made a horrifying accusation.

"But Ken-chan! You look sad!"

"No I dont! Prove it!"

"But you look sad! Isn't that proof enough?"

Zaraki paused. He had to admit, she made a damn good point. "Where are you getting all this from?" he asked her.

"Ichi's girlfriend teaches me how to talk back!"

Zaraki almost fell out of his chair. There were two things he was surprised about. How the hell did she find out what a girlfriend is and when had she been going to see the Kuchiki girl? Oh,that's one more thing, guess that makes three things he's surprised about. "ICHIGO'S GIRLFRIEND! You don't mean the short black hair girl that's the thirteenth division vice captain, do you!"

"Of course I do Ken-chan! Who else would I be talking about?"

"Ichigo and the Kuchiki girl!"

"Of course Ken-chan!" Yachiru chirped happily, her face fell a bit. "Ken-chan, you're kind of slow."

"That's it! You are forbidden to go see her! I need to go give her a talk," he said, cracking his knuckles while he said the last part.

"Oh! I know why Ken-chan's sad now!"

"What!"

"It's because Ichi's not here anymore!" Zaraki had just climbed back into his chair, now he had fallen out again.

"What did you just say!"

"Oh I know! I should go ask Ichi's girlfriend if he can come back! Then Ken-chan can be happy again!" Zaraki thought about following her, then decided against it. As if she'd even believe Yachiru.

Yachiru ran to the Kuchiki Mansion and rushed past the servant that was sweeping in the front. The servant stopped what she was doing and did a little bow, "Hello fukutaichou." Yachiru ran up to the door and knocked. She waited for awhile, but no one answered the door. She tried knocking again. When that didn't work, she attempted screaming. "HELLO! ANYONE IN THERE! OPEN THE DOOR!"

From inside the Kuchiki Mansion:

Byakuya looked up from his horror manga. He had found it in Rukia's room. He tried ignoring whoever was at the door. It was probably Renji or someone else that was going to annoy him. He had just started reading again when all of a sudden, "HELLO! ANYONE IN THERE! OPEN THE DOOR!" It sounded like Yachiru, the little pink haired vice captain of the eleventh division. Byakuya knew from experience that she wouldn't just leave because he wouldn't answer the door. He grudingly got up from his comfortable chair and walked towards the door. As soon as he opened it, Yachiru bounced through, screaming, "Finally! I thought you were never going to open the door!"

Byakuya looked down at her. Even if only was a child, she should have more respect for her elders, he thought. "Is that how you greet the captain of the sixth division," he asked coldly.

"Oh. It's you hair curlers."

Byakuya's right eye twitched a bit. "What did you just call me!" He tried to keep his voice calm, but this was how many times was this that someone had called his Kenseikan hair curlers? Way too many.

"Oh I dunno. I heard tomato head saying that those things on your heads look more like hair curlers than that thingie they're called. Uhhh, k-ke-ken chan? Nooo, that's not it. Ke-ke, uhhh ke-"

"ITS KENSEIKAN!" Byakuya screamed. He had lost his temper. Yes, it had almost never been heard of before, but here it was ladies and gentlemen, out of all the people in the world (Soul Society, whatever) a mere child had just made him blow up.

"Did I make hair curlers mad?" Yachiru asked innocently.

"You know what?" he said, gritting his teeth, trying with all his might to calm down. "Why don't I get Rukia for you? RUKIA! RUKIA! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Umm, Kuchiki-taichou?" a maid whimpered from his right. "The young mistress has gone out for the day."

"WHAT! WHERE! AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!" The maid only cowered and looked like she was going to burst into tears.

"Ummm, hair curlers?" Yachiru chirped. "I think you're scaring her."

Byakuya turned and glared at Yachiru. "You," he said it as if Yachiru was the reason his sister was now no where to be found (not that he even looked anywhere), "you know what? I'm not going to be mad." He started giggling a bit. A bit maniacly. He turned to the maid, who was still shaking. "You! Go get Abarai! Tell him his captain wants a few words with him." The maid rushed off and was back with Renji in a few minutes.

"Kuchiki-taichou," he said, bowing, and saw little Yachiru, "you're here too, Kusajishi-fukutaichou?"

"We're looking for someone tomato head!"

"Oh, well, what was it that you wanted to see me about, captain?"

"I was just wondering," Byakuya began, "if you knew where Rukia was."

Renji froze. "R-Rukia, sir? Why, ummm..."

"Tell me the truth Renji," Byakuya said, fixing him with one of his glares. It clearly said, Tell me where Rukia is now or, heh heh u don't want to know what I'm going to do to you.

"Ummm, she's in the human world," he muttered.

"WHAT!" Byakuya screamed. "DON'T TELL ME! SHE'S WITH KUROSAKI!"

"Okay, I won't tell you she's with Kurosaki. That little orange haired brat," Renji couldn't help adding.

"Renji! We're going to the human world!" Byakuya screamed, grabbing Senbon Zakura along the way.

"But hair curlers!" Yachiru squeeled stepping in front of him. "You don't have to go anywhere. Ichi and Ichi's girlfriend is right there!" Byakuya's eyes followed where Yachiru was pointing and found Rukia and Ichigo themselves walking back to the Kuchiki Mansion, all smiley looking. When they finally reached the mansion, they barely noticed Byakuya, Renji, and Yachiru all staring at them. "Ichi!" Yachiru said and jumped onto his back like she usually did with Zaraki. "Ken-chan misses you!"

"Who? Zaraki? You're kidding," he said, but a smile was creeping on his face. "Well, I do feel like battling someone."

"You," Byakuya and Renji said at the same time. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here."

"Rukia came to get me cause they said something 'bout needing a captain for the fifth division."

"And we'll just be going now, right Ichigo?" Rukia growled, tugging on his arm.

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" Renji chased after them, screaming, "RUKIA! WHY'RE YOU GOING WITH HIM! WHAT BOUT ME!" Byakuya was about to go after them too, but Yachiru stopped him. "Hair curlers, I need someone to play with."

"Not right now!" he growled, trying to go after his sister, and her...he didn't even want to think about it, but unfortunately Yachiru was pulling on his arm.

"But I need someone to play with!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!" And this time Yachiru jumped up on Byakuya's head and yanked out his hair curlers...errr kenseikan. Then, she yanked off his scarf, kind of choking him in the process. Byakuya couldn't do anything about it, but was wondering how he was going to get his things back without Zaraki murdering him and how his wounded pride would mend itself. "Hair curlers! Catch them if you can!"

Yachiru ran out of the mansion. She stopped when she was outside the gates. "Where to go," she mummbled. "Oh I know! Better go tell Ken-chan that Ichi's back!" She was back at the eleventh division headquarters in a flash. "Ken-chaaaaan!" she wailed. "Ken-chaaaann!"

"Oi, what is it Yachiru!" Zaraki turned his head to look at her and saw Byakuya's things. "Where'd you get that from!"

"Hair curlers! He wouldn't play with me, so I had to take drastic measures! Hee hee!" Byakuya was right behind her. "You. Give those back right now."

"If it isn't Kuchiki Byakuya," Zaraki said, grinning.

"Zaraki-taichou," Byakuya said formally. "I was just asking your vice-captain if she could just give me back my kenseikan."

"Well, maybe if you say please."

"What!"

"You heard me. Say please."

"Yeah hair curlers! Say it!"

"Fine! Can-you-please-give-me-back-my-things-please?" he said in a slur so that Zaraki and Yachiru didn't really understand what he had just said.

"I can't hear you!" Zaraki taunted.

"Why you-"

"What's going on here?" Everyone turned their heads to the person behind Byakuya. It was Ichigo and Rukia. "Awww, are the captains fighting?'

"Shut it Kurosaki!"

"Nee-sama what's going on?" Rukia asked Byakuya.

"Well, what it is-"

"I took his hair curlers and his scarf because he wouldn't play with me!" Yachiru answered for him. "And now hair curlers and Ken-chan are gonna fight! But it's not going to be as fun as watching Ichi fight Ken-chan!"

"Nee-sama!" Rukia said, astonished. "Of all people, you? I thought you were going to help Soul Society, not create tension within the captains."

"It's not like that Rukia!" Byakuya said, trying desperately to explain. Rukia pulled on a face. "Don't you dare try that with me. Come on. We're going home before you do something you'll regret." When Byakuya refused, Rukia simply said, "Just know I didn't want it to come to this." She stood on her tippy toes and when that didn't help, she tried jumping (which helped) and latched her fingers on Byakuya's ear. He screamed very painfully when she brought it crashing down because she was so short. "Come nee-sama. We're going home."

Rukia walked off, tugging on Byakuay's ear every so often as to keep him obedient (which also caused his ear to go redder every time) and trailing behind them was Ichigo laughing, and laughing some more.

Zaraki and Yachiru watched the three of them as they walked (rather slowly) back to the Kuchiki Mansion. "Wow. Big Kuchiki getting his ass kicked by the little Kuchiki. Now there's something you don't see everyday." He started laughing and saying how shameful Byakuya was when all of a sudden, Ichigo in between laughs, hollered back, "Oi Zaraki! Nice to know that you missed me! I'll be back don't worry! Hahahahahaha!" The whole eleventh division heard it, along with the tenth and the twelth divisions. And when they ran over to see what the fuss was about, they saw Byakuya being dragged across Seireiti by his little petite sister. Yes, the few days they had off weren't much, but they sure were funny.