Title: Epics in Cork
Author: Tiamat's Child
Fandom: Les Miserables
Rating: G
Pairing: None.
Disclaimer: Victor Hugo made the boys up, not me.
Summary: Homer probably never meant for the story to be told quite this way…
Notes: Written in twenty-five minutes for the dialogue only challenge at Ame Souer, thirty minute limit. I should never wonder what my muses are talking about. It would be much safer.
Epics in Cork
"Nope, not me. I like the ladies."
"You're being silly you know, there are plenty of Bahorels out there who have slept with Jehan and liked it."
"Then they're obviously never seen him and Combeferre reenact the Iliad with kitchen utensils."
"Enjolras, could you pass me that salt shaker please? Thank you."
"This cork can be Pactrolus, I think."
"What do you think of making the wall of Troy out of forks?"
"Can you get them to stay? Look, this cork makes a good Ajax…"
"It does, doesn't it? Yes, I think I can make them stand up. See, if you use string, like this…"
"Clever. Where'd you get the string?"
"Asked the waitress."
"Never would have thought of that… We're going to have to use something else for people too. There aren't enough corks."
"Glasses, maybe?"
"Perhaps… Here R, I need that."
"…It's a bit big…"
"True… But there aren't enough corks."
"Oh well, doesn't matter. Have we got everyone?"
"I think so. This pepper grinder was Helen, wasn't it?"
"I thought Helen was the soup ladle."
"Wasn't that Cassandra?"
"Maybe. I don't remember."
"All right. From now on Helen's the pepper grinder and Cassandra's the soupspoon. Where'd Achilles go?"
"Isn't he this salt shaker?"
"I thought that was Hector."
"Was it?"
"We need labels."
"Right. Bossuet, can we borrow some paper?"
"Thank you, Marius. Do you think Bossuet's all right? He hasn't stopped laughing to breathe for a while…"
"I'm sure he'll be fine. Joly's looking after him."
"…Right."
"So this soup ladle is Helen?"
"No, that one's Cassandra."
"Oh, of course…"