Follows Peyton's confession her love to Lucas at the end of the last episode. My first fic, so I hope it's good. Reviews are appreciated.
"I've been holding this in forever. I love you."
Peyton held her breath, her heart pounding, as she stared at Lucas, waiting for a reply. He gazed back at her, confusion in his eyes. The silence between them was so thick with tension it was hard to breathe. It lasted what felt like a lifetime before either of the two spoke.
"Oh, God." Peyton immediately turned crimson, turning away from Lucas to hide her watering eyes. Idiot. She mentally kicked herself for being so stupid, for not even thinking before speaking, for acting so rashly. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I-I mean…" Peyton began to stammer, unsure of what to say or do.
Suddenly, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Peyton turned to see Lucas staring back at her, his eyes sympathetic, even sad. Quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she began to shake slightly. Lucas moved his hands up and down her arms, as though to warm her, the whole time keeping his gaze on her. Peyton averted her eyes and stared at his feet, still red from embarrassment.
"Peyton, listen," Lucas began, but she cut him off.
"I didn't mean that, it was stupid…I mean, I- God." She gave a small, awkward giggle that carried a hint of sorrow. "That was- that was dumb, and untrue, and idiotic and rash and…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Lucas lifted Peyton's chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. She gave a small sob and tried to turn away, but he grabbed her arms quickly. "Peyton, don't be sorry. That wasn't stupid. I just…I don't know what to say…"
"I think you should go," Peyton said rather quickly.
Lucas jumped slightly, shocked at the sudden aggression in her voice. He continued to stare at her, but Peyton once again averted her eyes, this time nodding slightly at the bedroom door. Lucas let his arms fall to his side and took a step back. Peyton turned even more from him, so that he could hardly see her face. Backing up slowly, he kept his eyes on her, his mind racing. Say something, don't just leave! You can do this! Say anything!
Reaching the bedroom door, Lucas stopped. He stood there for what felt like hours, looking back sadly at Peyton's back, her entire body shaking with suppressed sobs. Finally, Lucas took a deep breath and spoke.
"Don't be sorry. Don't even be sorry. Peyton, I love you, you know I do." Even as he watched, Peyton began to lift her head and turn to face him. "I just- I don't know if I'm ready. You're a great girl. You're strong, smart, funny, sincere…beautiful. I had so much with you before. And I would love to have it back. But we've both been through so much lately. I just need time."
Peyton gave another sound somewhere between and sob and a laugh. Looking him squarely in the eye, she didn't bother to wipe the tears as they fell down her cheeks.
"Okay," she said softly. "Okay. I know there's been a lot lately. I just- I didn't want to be that girl. The girl who says, 'I love you' and gets her heart broken. But I didn't want to be the girl who keeps it all in and watches her life slip away. I just- I was afraid. And then I did it, I told you. And you…I felt like an idiot. But I get it. I want back everything we had, I want it so much, Lucas."
Lucas began to step closer to Peyton, listening closely to every word she said. His heart was breaking listening to her; he just wanted to hold her and make her feel better.
"I don't mind taking time. I don't mind going slow. I want to be with you," Peyton finished.
Lucas stood directly in front of her. Nodding his head in agreement, he gave her a small smile. Peyton returned a genuine smile through her tears. For a while they both stared at each other, each caught up in their own world. It wasn't clear who began the embrace; soon their arms were around each other, Lucas's chin resting on the top of Peyton's head, which she rested against his chest. They stayed in that position for quite some time, breathing simultaneously, their heart beats in perfect rhythm. Finally, Peyton stepped back.
"I should probably be getting to sleep," she said in a small voice. "Big day tomorrow; wouldn't miss it for the world. So I'll see you then?"
Lucas grinned, chuckling slightly. "I've got a better idea," he said mischievously. "How about you sleep over? For old times' sake."
"Old times' as in yesterday," Peyton asked skeptically. "That doesn't constitute old times. And besides, psycho's in jail, so I've got nothing to fear. I'm tough," she added.
Lucas smiled even wider at Peyton, nodding his head. "I know you're tough, you don't need me, but…" He leaned in toward her ear, and whispered, "We can pretend."
Lucas backed away to see Peyton staring back at him with one eyebrow raised, her mouth in a half-smile. She appeared to be contemplating his offer with much enjoyment.
"Fine," Peyton replied after a short silence. "We can pretend. But on one condition…"
"Oh, and what's that?"
"You can't snore."