Author's Note: Original version written for an English class… years ago.

Summary: Ryou takes a moment to reflect on his darkness whose actions and words rouse both pain and comfort. He questions his worth… Thinking is dangerous, is it not? Bakura certainly agrees.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, I wouldn't be living with my parents still.

Ryou's Reality

In moments of utter stillness I ponder upon philosophies of half-ignorants, those whose feeble minds grasp the complexities of this world but continue to foolishly assume they understand all. I ponder, I wonder. Are you something more? Your bitter words are proverbial slaps to my face, but still there are times you gaze at me with this look… Do you pity me? Do I provoke once forgotten memories? We are all like jewels with faceted personalities. How many do you have?

So cruel you are when you seek to bring me down. So noble you are when you shield me from worldly evils. What am I to you but a pet? Send me into to world to do your bidding, O Master, and save me when you feel you must. Take all that is mine that I may only see you; make me bleed since you cannot; steal my body so you might feel. Hurt me, you heartless thief. Don't hurt any other.

Do you delight in games? Play with me then like you always do. I shall pick the game this time. Hm… Can you guess what I'm thinking?

I ponder, I wonder. Suppose your family was never obliterated so savagely—would you still be here with me? Would your every breath still be lined with hatred? You're… Why can't you let go? I've felt your kindness many a time. I was lonely, so you gave me toys; I was attacked, so you attacked my aggressor. Far be it from you to abandon me, a lowly vessel of the thieving king. I have nothing left but my spirit and my worthless body.

Rob me of my spirit, you cowardly fiend! And take me far away from here.

You would never kill me no matter how many times I beg. Selfish man. You fear the darkness so much. Pitiful man. Strike me again and again until each strike takes from me another breath. Lonesome man. Make me bleed until the pain is too much to bear. Mournful man. Make cuts so deep the scars won't fade.

I want to sleep and dream forever and ever and ever and ever… Heartless tomb robber, why do you weep? Do you weep for yourself or for me?

I'm drowning.

I'm floating.

I'm dying.

I'm dead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The wind whispers, "Why?" and the earth replies, "For life." Then the darkness swallows up what was once hers. The child of darkness weeps and she comforts him, reassures him, and puts him to sleep.

Poor child, you must sleep before you can dream.

But it's so lonely there.

But when you sleep, you dream; and when you dream, you awaken. Another world lies beyond this realm. You know that. You're already there, waiting for you. You've let go, so why won't you?

I didn't let go. He did… Stupid, foolish Yadonushi did. He let himself go; I didn't let him go… He shouldn't have gone! Stupid, foolish brat. Worthless boy. He did this to me. He did this on purpose. Conspiring with that pharaoh. They did this to me. They did this to me! They did this to me!

First Completed: November 22, 2002
Revised: January 18, 2007

AN: See my bio for regards to flames, etc, etc, etc.