On to the fic:
Important: *On this episode of jeopardy, we have installed an emotion censor on our host so he doesn't harm any of our contestants.*
*Music*
Tenchi: Hello, I'm Tenchi Trebeck and I hate my life. Now let's meet our- HEY! There's only supposed to be three of you!
Mihoshi: We wanna have fun too!!!
Sasami: Yeah!
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Tenchi: *Sigh*, Okay. Let's meet our seven contestants! All the way from Jurai, it's Princess Ayeka Jurai!
Ayeka: Hello!
Tenchi: Our next contestant is a Galaxy Police officer, Mihoshi!
Mihoshi: What a pretty blue button! It's pretty and it's blue! And it's also blue and pretty!
Tenchi: I'm gonna hit so hard, right on your fat a- *ZAP!!!* Stupid emotion censor! Um…okay. Our next contestant is Ryoko Habuki! According to the self description card she wrote herself: "she's pretty, she's hot and"…um "your not."
Ryoko: Thank you, thank you! What's that you say my loving fans? Ayeka is a bitch? Yes, yes I know…*Smooch* (blows kiss to fans)
Tenchi: Next we have Kiyone Makibi! Also a Galaxy Police officer, she enjoys strangling Mihoshi in her spare time!
Kiyone: Hello.
Tenchi: And last-
Washu: But not least!!!
Tenchi: …Washu the Mad Scientist!
Washu: Um…I like memorizing the ingredients on the back of bubble gum packages, *Sniff*. Um… you forgot to introduce Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki.
Tenchi: Opps. Next is Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki! Sasami is also from Jurai, and she enjoys cooking, while Ryo-oh-ki is Ryoko's pet cabbit and enjoys carrots.
Sasami: Meow, meow!
Ryo-oh-ki: Damn you Washu! Your gay ass experiments switched our brains! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Tenchi: Hey this TV show is rated G, no cursing damn it! *ZAP!* Our 7 categories are:
*Ding*
1. Colors
*Ding*
2. Shapes
*Ding*
3. Don't Put This In Your Mouth
*Ding*
4. Body Parts You Can Show People
*Ding*
5. Shiny Objects
*Ding*
6. Things That Excite Kiyone *Giggle, giggle*
*Ding*
7. Girls Tenchi Sleeps With…Hey! Who wrote these?!
Washu: Heh, heh, heh…
Tenchi: Why you little- *ZAP* …all is forgiven. Our first question is for-
Ayeka: Me! Me! Oo! Oo! Oo! Meeeeee!
Tenchi: Um… Ayeka?
Ayeka: Booya! Okay, I'll take colors for 500!
Tenchi: *Sigh* This is the only color that ends in –urple.
Ayeka: Light Urple!
Tenchi: Wrong.
Ayeka: *Sigh* *Buzz*Buzz*Buzz*
Tenchi: Washu what are you doing?
Washu: Seeing if the microphone will fit.
Tenchi: Fit in what?
Washu: Heh, ha, ha, ha.
Tenchi: Moving along… Ryoko take your hands off Sasami!
Ryoko: If she's got Ryo-oh-ki's brain, will she turn into a space ship too?
Tenchi: How am I supposed to know? Now put her down!
Ryoko: Fine!
Tenchi: The next question is for - Sasami how come there's two of you?
Sasami: Damn it! That was you again Washu wasn't it?! Hey why am I turning purple?!
Ayeka: Light Urple!!!
Tenchi: Ryoko, pick a category.
Ryoko: Things you can't put in your mouth, for $350!
Tenchi: The question is: What can't you put in your mouth? *Mumble, who writes these questions? Mumble*
Ryoko: Anything can go into your mouth!
Tenchi: Um… do you have any proof?
Ryoko: Ok!
Tenchi: Hey! Ahhhh!!! Put me down! Eww, Stop!!!
Ryoko: Fine, but you're the one that asked.
Tenchi: Listen…
Washu: No… You listen Mr.!
Tenchi: Stop! Commercial break!!!
The Little Old Lady From Tenchi Forever is standing in front of a small store, with a big sign that says, "Light Hawk Wings For Sale!"
Little Old Lady: C'mon Down to "Little Old Lady's Light Hawk Wing Bargain Boutique," where you can purchase your own set of Light Hawk Wings to threaten your friends with! Remember that's "Little Old Lady's Light Hawk Wing Bargain Boutique," where our discounts are ALMOST as big as Haruna's eyebrows!!!
Dorothy from Gundam Wing: Yeah, but Haruna doesn't have four eyebrows like me!
Little Old Lady: (shouting) I already told you, get that raging, psychotic woman off the set!!!
Tenchi: Okay! We're back! And after, several fights we have decided to let Ayeka begin this special bonus round! Alright… Ayeka, the question is…
Ayeka: Do you
notice that Mihoshi is acting rather strange today? Looks at Mihoshi who is
eating a crayon.
Tenchi: No shi..*ZAP!* Next question! No wait! I quit!
Sasami: Oooo… since when was Ryo-oh-ki a male?! Heh, heh…
Ayeka: ABCDEFG
Mihoshi: QTRPIOJ
Ryoko: ZYXWUV…
Tenchi: Okay! I'm back! Oh whata'ya know? It's time for the last round!
Your categories are:
*Ding*
Famous Ponies
*Ding*
People on the one-dollar bill
*Ding*
Names of the month
*Ding*
What's in my pants?
*Ding*
Raging, scary, vicious, violent, man-eating butterflies
*Ding*
My enemy is…
*Ding*
How many times can I buzz the buzzer?
Tenchi: Since Ayeka started the last round, Ryoko you will begin this one. Pick a category.
Ryoko: Um…"What's in My Pants?"
Tenchi: How am I supposed to know?! Oh! You mean the category!
Kiyone: Duh!
Tenchi: Well, she didn't pick a price!
Ryoko: $500!
Tenchi: The question is: What is in my pants – hey, who wrote these?!
Ryoko: Ooo! I'll use the materials provided to find out!
Washu: That's my girl!
Tenchi: What are you doing!? Were live on TV! Oh my god, someone help me!!!
Ayeka: *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*!!!
Tenchi: WHAT?!?!?!
Ayeka: My buzzer isn't working!!!
Tenchi: Yes it is!!!
Ayeka: How would you know unless you were spying on me?! *Buzz*, *Buzz*, *Buzz*!!!
Tenchi: But you just-
Ayeka: Mihoshi! Kiyone! Arrest this man for stalking me!
Mihoshi: I hate stalks of celery!!!
Authors Note:
That was so much fun to write… and very, um… different. Tell me what you think!
~Ryokrea