Ask me where this idea came from, and you will hear crickets chirping. Wait, do crickets chirp?
-has stupid moment-
Well, anyway, you won't get an answer, cause I don't know. So just read while I find out if crickets do indeed chirp.
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"YEAH!!!"
"What the hell is she screaming about?"
Gaara's bored voice droned over the apartment complex he shared with the two beings that nature had labeled "his siblings". His puppet-like "brother" shrugged.
"She's just being Temari, that's all."
The said kunoichi burst into the room, skidding on the loose sand that covered the floor. She began waving a large envelope in the air.
"Our grandmother just died! And she left me a fortune!"
"What grandmother?" Gaara was confused.
"Uh..." Temari had to think. "Well, who cares? I've got all this inheritence!"
"Why did she leave it to you?"
"Cause she likes me!"
"You don't even know who she is!"
"Well neither do you!"
It occured to her that she was arguing with Gaara, and she turned to her more peaceable brother.
"Kankuro, do you know of this grandmother person?"
"No, but I do know that you should share that money."
"No!" Temari shouted, clutching the envelope to her chest and whipping out her fan. Gaara yawned. Temari dashed into her room.
TWO HOURS LATER
"Well, I've decided that I'm going to share my money with you." Temari stepped out into the living room, where Gaara and Kankuro were watching some random soap that she had taped a while back. Gaara glanced at her, but Kankuro's eyes lit up, and he leapt to his feet.
"Really?"
"Well, yes, but you have to earn it."
"Earn it?" Now Gaara was interested.
"Yes. Since you lazy bums sit around here all day, and don't ever have a chance of getting a girlfriend, I've devised a contest. You know I couldn't bear to see my only brothers loveless and lonely their whole lives."
"Who says I'm loveless and lonely?" Kankuro spat.
"I do."
"Well, what about you?"
"You know I've been seeing that Uchiha Sasuke guy!" Temari blushed slightly.
"Anyway, if you want this money, then you're gonna have to get a girl."
"I love no one." Gaara said demonically from the couch. "I exist only to.."
"Yeah, yeah, to love only myself and to kill others all that jazz."
Gaara's expression turned to annoyance.
"Well, that's going to change, little brother, if you want this money."
"What if I don't want the money?"
"Then I could care. You don't have to participate."
The truth was, Gaara did want that money, just a little. But he couldn't even think of having to get some worthless human female to love him.
"Ok, then!" Kankuro exclaimed, running to his room to plot. Gaara stood up and meandered on off to his room to mutter and curse Temari.
Kankuro stared at himself in his puppet-sticker adorned mirror. Well, he'd just have to dig up that old jar of Kankuro charm he'd buried a long time ago when he decided to dress the way he did. Let's face it, a puppet isn't going to get chicks.
Gaara, staring into his own mirror, decided that he was reasonably sexy enough, and that with a little less hatred and creepiness, maybe he could find a girl after all. But once that money was his, he would kill that stupid drone and all of her kind (aka all the humans on the Earth), and would go to back to loving himself.
Or he could always just kill Temari and Kankuro and take the money without complications. But frankly, then he'd have no one to talk to.
So, with each of her brothers plotting pick-up strategies, Temari laughed.
She'd just found the ultimate cure to boredom.
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Stand by for chapter 2!