WHOA! I just minimized like 9 windows at once and it's the coolest thing ever to watch. Wheeeee. (does it about 18 more times, once for each of Kanda's years) Wheeeeee…. Okay, now I'm done. Ha ha.

So, why am I, a self-professed Kanda hater, writing a fic about his birthday one day late? (That reminds me, I called up my Kanda-loving friend and sang 'Happy Birthday to Yuu' until she begged me to stop. It was fun.) Um… because I feel like it! Is there a problem with that?! (goes on rampage because I don't want to admit that I wanted to party. Any excuse for a party, I say.) OK, sorry.. you don't need to hear about my wholly messed-up hate/love relationship with someone who isn't even real.. Let's get ON with it!

Sitting in front of a computer once again. Not exactly the most exciting way to celebrate a holiday, but it was better than hacking up Akuma.

Kanda checked his email (no birthday e-cards), the Exorcist forums (no threads called anything close to Happy Birthday Kanda), and just about anything else he could think of.

Not a single thing about his birthday.

Not that he cared or anything.

Even after he'd just had the worst day in the world, which had involved getting used by Komui as a guinea pig for his new coffee brew—the one that tasted like Komrin oil--, falling headfirst down an impressively long and painful flight of stairs after Krory collided with him on his own tumble down, almost puking his guts out after finding sugar dumped into his soba because Reever had taken over the cooking for one day, and getting thrown up on himself by moyashi after the kid had tried to make Reever feel better about his nonexistent cooking skills by eating an entire tray of mitarashi dango, Reever style.

Among other things that he didn't want to think about. A day like that tended to make you not really care about anything.

Kanda groaned and thumped his head onto the keyboard. He didn't care! It wasn't like he even had time to worry about stupid trivial things like birthdays. So he was a year older; so what? It didn't change any of his problems for the better in the slightest.

Even though it would have been nice to have someone mention it, just like it had been when he was little and everything was simpler.

Kanda growled to himself. It was not a big deal! Obviously he needed something to occupy his brain with. A walk sounded about right. But first he'd check his email one more time, just in case…. In case Komui had forwarded him some orders. Yeah. That was it.

An address he didn't recognize caught his eye. Reading the message, he noticed they were all links. Probably a stupid chain letter from Rabi.

Might as well take a look at the first one. He clicked the blue underlined text..

And a page entitled "One Heck of a Birthday" met his eyes.

What the hell?

Okayyy then.. next one. Kanda exited the first window (from something called and checked the next link.

"Happy Birthday, Yuu!" was the title of this one.

What the hell?

Kanda gave the screen a weird look. What on earth? Who was this from? How'd they find out? Scrolling down, he realized it was some kind of story. About him. And his birthday.

Hm. Interesting.

Until the last paragraph or so. Kanda almost fell off his chair.

"Kami!" he spat, dragging himself back up. What kind of freak wrote that? Did they actually think he wanted beansprout tied up and half-undressed on his bed? Ew!

Although..

He banged his head against the desk a few dozen times to quell the most unbecoming thoughts.

He knew he should have just logged out and taken that walk. But it was a bit like running from a boulder rolling down a steep hill toward you: once you started, you just couldn't stop. Kanda clicked the next link with his heart in his throat (it felt like literally, especially since he'd felt like vomiting it up a few minutes ago).

Eighteen. Well, this one didn't sound so bad…

I take it back, Kanda thought greenishly on the floor about 4 minutes later, having fallen out of his chair again. It had started out accurately enough, with him hiding from his birthday celebrations, but near the end.. when he and Rabi were doing that… it didn't bear thinking about!

Or did it?

Again, he banged his head against the desk a few dozen times to quell the most unbecoming thoughts. ShutupshutupshutUP! That's it, I'm going to take a walk right now!

Wandering (and still plagued by a few stray unbecoming thoughts every so often), he found himself outside the door of the kitchen.

Cheh. I bet the whole Science Department is waiting in there for me with embarrassing decorations and stupid hats.

Kanda banged open the door with a 'do not hug me' scowl on his face.

The kitchen was deserted. No sign of an expected surprise party anywhere.

Kanda sighed. He just couldn't run away from it any more. For once in his life, he wanted to be smiled at, hung around and generally spoiled. Was that so wrong? Well, yes-- it went against just about every single one of the principles he'd set for himself-- but just for one day, it couldn't hurt to be irresponsible and happy, could it?

"Psst! Psst! Yuu-chan!"

Kanda jumped and whirled around, whipping Rabi in the face with his ponytail.

"Apthfh! What was that for?" Rabi paused in mid eye-rub and grinned. "Is it possible? Did I actually surprise you?"

"No!" Kanda barked. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothinnng.." Rabi blinked coquettishly. "I just wanted to be with you, that's all."

Remembering Eighteen abruptly, Kanda cursed his face for burning. "What for?"

"Silly Yuu-chan." Rabi poked him. "There's something very important that we should talk about, don't you think?"

Of course! Rabi always remembered Kanda's birthday, no matter what. The normally dour young man mentally sang a prayer to the highest of powers.

"Oi, Allen!" Rabi roared around the doorframe. "Come 'ere!"

Allen came running in with one of Jerry's frilly aprons tied around his waist, frosting in his hair and smudged over his face. He was flushed, presumably from the physical exertion (since when did he come running when Rabi called? Kanda felt an inexplicable sting in his throat), and one of the straps was slipping off his shoulder. Catching sight of the whipped sugar covering the little sprout's head, a certain scene from earlier's email was forcibly brought to mind, and Kanda was thankful that his hair covered his steaming ears. What was wrong with him today?

"Hey, Yuu-chan, are you listening?" Rabi poked him again. "I was just saying that we've been planning this for a very long time—"

"Yes?" Kanda turned to him, trying to hide his eagerness.

"And we knew that since you're probably more excited about it than anyone else--"

Kanda nodded furiously.

"Well, it was really supposed to be a surprise, but we thought it wouldn't be fair to keep you in the dark until the last minute—"

"And?"

Rabi's smile was so wide it looked like the top half of his head was ready to fall off.

"We're planning a get-well party for Jerry!"

Kanda barely remembered to winch his jaw back into place. "—For Jerry?"

"Uh huh! See, we definitely want to show him how much he's appreciated, especially after today's… escapades… and so--- hey, Yuu-chan, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," Kanda growled hurriedly.

"Oh, come onnn!" Rabi hung on his neck. "I can tell, there's something bothering you! Don't be afraid to let it all out!"

"How can you tell?" asked Allen innocently. "I mean, there's always something bothering him, isn't there?"

The silence was palpable.

Allen looked concerned, something that would melt the heart of any living organism (and did). "I'm sorry, maybe that wasn't the right thing to say…"

"It doesn't matter." Trying to disentangle Rabi from his neck, Kanda wished dearly that he was somewhere else. "It's true anyway."

Rabi gasped. "So it IS true! He'd never admit there was something bothering him unless there was something really wrong! Pour your heart out to your comrades, Yuu-chan!"

"You're bothering me. Now get off. I don't need a scarf in all weathers like you."

"Now you're just being difficult as usual!" Allen pouted, and Kanda wondered if the oxygen count around his head had suddenly plummeted. "It's okay to trust people sometimes, you know."

Kanda sagged. He was trapped.

"All right. I was hoping a little bit that you would do the birthday thing for me like you do every year even though I always complain, but everyone's forgotten and—what's your problem? Quit giving me weird looks like that!"

"Nobody forgot about your birthday, Kanda! I was just baking the cake for your party tomorr—oh." Allen turned pink, and Kanda's stomach turned over. Why the hell did the kid have to look like such a puppy dog all the time? No wonder there were creepy stories written about him. "I wasn't supposed to tell you. Sorry."

"And I sent you all the stories I could find on that had to do with June 6! There sure were a lot. But see, Yuu-chan, even strangers remember your birthday!"

Kanda gave Rabi a Look. "So it was you who sent me those. Did you actually read any of those before you sent them on?"

"Sure did! They were a hoot, weren't they?"

Kanda slowly disentangled Rabi's arms from around his throat. "Please don't touch me."

As Rabi pretended to sniffle and clung to Allen to "cry on his shoulder" (Kanda twitched), Allen put a hand on Kanda's shoulder, only to be flinched off.

"Why did you think we forgot your birthday, Kanda?"

It did sound pretty stupid, now that he thought about it. "Well.. I hadn't heard anything about it all day, and usually everyone'd be harassing me about it from the moment I got out of bed.."

"Naw, we were saving that for tomorrow," Rabi mumbled from Allen's beruffled shoulder.

"………tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow." Allen and Rabi both gave him some more weird looks. "You know. June 6th."

Kanda blinked blankly.

"Eh? You mean.. today is June 5th? But that means.."

He trailed off darkly. Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! He'd freaked out about being ignored when the event everyone had been supposedly ignoring wasn't even today.

"What, you got the date wrong?" To their credit, the others weren't laughing. Yet.

Kanda felt like crawling into a hole, but he settled for shrugging and looking down at the floor. "Obviously. I just…. I don't have much practice with looking forward to birthdays, that's all. I didn't even know what I was missing."

Allen and Rabi exchanged glances.

"Well, we can fix that." Both slung one arm over each of Kanda's shoulders. "So, what do you want to do for your big day tomorrow?"

Kanda ruminated. Some rather ...suggestive suggestions came to mind (mostly gleaned from Rabi's forwards), but for some reason they didn't bother him as much. In fact, he found himself considering them a lot more thoughtfully. Nothing of the kind had ever presented itself to him before.

"I'm sure we can think of something," he replied, and led them both off to debate and explore the possibilities.

A/N: Done! OK, so it's not my best work (really, it's far far far from it), but what do you expect? I was in a crack-like mood, and it just sort of poured out. Ahem. Thanks to Kuro666 (read her A Simple Hug, which I didn't fit in, but vaguely referenced) for encouraging me! I seriously wouldn't have bothered putting a lot of this stuff in there except for you. Also, the titles are all real FF stories. Go read them and tell the authors in your wonderfully thought-out review that I sent you. And please review this one, too! Say happy belated birthday to Mr. Angly Preetyboi Steleotype (yes, that's his new name. Glory to Engrish!) and spare me the humiliation. Say happy birthday to Bob, too. x3