Disclaimer: Reno and Rufus and well, the rest of the characters and settings belong to Square Enix.

Authors Notes: Ah, well I was writing this other RenoxRufus story, but it got so long, I decided that I just wanted to do a oneshot as sort of 'on the side' thing. You get what I mean right? I suppose this the first fanfic I'll ever write of the pairing. Do expect more, of course.

I actually really liked how this oneshot came out; it has a really beautiful ending. But I'll leave that up to the reader.


Simply thinking from Reno's confused/occupied/nearly fried brain, pondering the meaning of his relationship. And how he figures it all out.

. ------ .

I Want. I Want. I Love.

Reno's Point of View

It's been… How long has it been? Five months, I should say. Give or take.

No wait… Oh what the hell, five months, five years, when you're with that sadistic bastard, ya forget time ever existed.

Hmm, well that's interesting. Sadistic bastard. Have you ever called your fiancé a sadistic bastard? Or maybe psychotic manic? Blonde masochist? Heh, yeah I didn't think ya did.

Well, anyway, today we got in another fight. Yeah, another fight. Now usually, when it comes to menial things like fights, I don't care. I don't. I wouldn't give a flying fuck to anyone about some fight I had. I'd just drink my ass off, puke it all out, fall into some kind of epiphany, darkness, then forget that I even had a fight and wake up the next morning in someone's bed if I'm lucky. If I'm fuckin lucky.

But today. Why the fuck is today any different? Well, I'll just tell ya now, it is. Dun know how, dun even want to know why, but it is.

He yelled at me. Yeah, I know I sound like I'm friggin' two, but, well… I didn't like that fact that he yelled at me. I bet he knew I was sober too. When I finally have my head on right, I screw it up anyway, as if it wasn't.

At the beginning, it was okay when he would yell at me. I've been used to that kind of 'tenderness' all my career, so five months ago, it wasn't any different. After that…well, things got a bit more interesting. Now, I'll be frank with ya, he would push all the buttons. And I didn't like it. I just didn't bend that way, ya know? But he pressed on.

Then it started to get… tolerable. Tolerable being the keyword. I was getting used to it. Your boss is a fag. Who cares? Then, I started to enjoy his company. Yeah, me. Reno. Reno the womanizer. Then it got worse. I wanted him. I couldn't live without him. Almost like an addiction. No. More than an addiction.

He's worse than a fuckin' drug.

Maybe that's what I want him so much. He's worse.

I've had smokes. I've had drinks. Shots. Sniffs. Hits.

But nothing can make me so full of bliss and ecstasy like he does. My heart pounds. My body starts to sweat. I can't breath. I can't think. Nothing more but whisper his name. Yell his name. Call it out in sheer pleasure…

I like it when he calls my name out as well. It's so sexy. So arousing. His voice alone can get me in so many states, when he chants my own name, I just want to…

Want…

I want.

Maybe that's why today was so different…

What that what he meant?

"Reno, sometimes wanting isn't enough! You just can't get everything you want!"

His words play over and over in my head. Tell me, Rufus, what is it that you want? Tell me. Let me be there to give it to you. Let me be the one to spoil you. Give you whatever you desire. I'm asking you, pleading. Begging, I'm on my knees.

Rufus, tell me. What is it that you want?

I think about the fight again. He told me what he wanted. Not in words, but through his eyes I can see that he told me. He put his entire soul out there. He let every emotion show, despite the tight mask of deception he wears. He played his cards and I could see his hand. But I was blind. I was so fucking blind.

What could he want? What type of things could a man like Rufus Shinra possibly want and not have?

Money? No, that's not it. He's the fuckin richest bitch in the entire world. Power? Please, no comment. Sex? Well, he has me, doesn't he?

What more can you get than money, power and sex? Sex with me? What's greater than…

And there's when the gears finally started to turn. Everything clicked...

. ----- .

The next day, when Rufus arrived at his office in the wee hours of the morning, he found a note sitting atop his desk. Looking closely at the note, he discovered it was a poem. A poem written by someone signed as "You-know-who".

Yesterday, I had realized something,

Something I had never seen before.

It was a really beautiful something,

Something that you couldn't find at a store.

And when I look back at the things we've done

That we did it without this something.

Things were only for the fun,

And it all had amounted to nothing.

This something is what we always wanted, but never got.

I'll tell you now that this something I speak of

And in truth, it's not about being sexy or being hot

This something is what we always wanted, but never got.

This something was love.

I fucking love you, Rufus.

By: You-know-who.

The note was put aside for a moment, as the blonde President faltered.

"I love you too, Reno."

. ----- .

And with that, I bid you adieu.