Operation: N-A-V-I
Naïve
Annoying
Vain
Invertebrate
(Scene: Link and Tatl wandering around in the Lost Woods, arguing with each other. Lets listen in, shall we?)
Tatl: [buzzing around angrily] I don't see WHY we have to look for this stupid old faerie of yours, Link!
Link: She's an old friend Tatl! Besides, when we find her, you will probably like her!
Tatl: [flips her uhh... invisible faerie hair back] Cute, sweet, eccentric, and adorable?
Link: [sweat drop] Well, I was thinking more of like annoying, a pain in the neck, absolutely no use, and totally wimpy.
Tatl: [angry] WELL I NEVER! You better be glad I like you Link or I would be leaving you alone out here.
Link: Noo! Don't leave me! I didn't mean it, I swear. If you leave, I will never be able to get out of this stupid forest, even though if I take a wrong turn I somehow end up back in the very beginning which makes absolutely no sense!
Tatl: [calming down] Fine fine, but first lets try and remember where you last saw her.
Link: [scratching his head, trying to remember] Umm, oh yeah! When I put the Master Sword back into its pedestal, the Door of Time closed up and Navi flew away somewhere.
Tatl: [sweat drop] So she disappeared at the Temple of Time?
Link: Yes.
Tatl: So the first place you looked was the Lost Woods.
Link: Yes.
Tatl: Did it EVER occur to you that she might be somewhere, closer to the Temple of Time, and not totally across Hyrule?
Link: No.
Tatl: [sigh] No WONDER she left. You're a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Link: Hey, don't blame me! The makers of Majora's Mask made me search in the Lost Woods first! They had to have some kind of place where I could fall down a huge hole and end up in a new dimension!
Tatl: Yeah, yeah, enough excuses. Let's just go to the Temple of Time and work our way from there.
Link: Right! [brings his ocarina to his lips, and prepares to play the Prelude of Light when suddenly...]
AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tatl: [freaks out, and flies into Links hat] Mmmphh! Mm shh mm!
Link: Come out of my hat, I can't tell what your saying!
Tatl: [pokes her head out] What was that?!
Link: No idea [draws his sword] there aren't any wolfos in the Lost Woods, except for the ones in the Forest Temple...
AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Link: [drops sword, and the hilt lands on his foot] OUCH! [grabs his foot and starts hopping around] OW! OW! OW! STUPID SWORD! OW! THAT HUUUURT!
Tatl: Shut up Link, I'm trying to listen! [cocks her head to one side, listening to the howls] I think it's coming from that way [points at the western log] Let's find out what's making the noise!
Link: [stands still, still holding his foot] Nuh uh! No way! I am not going to fight some huge hideous monster just because YOU wanted to find out what the noise is!
Tatl: Oh come on, wheres your sense of adventure?
Link: I lost it after having to beat the same bad guy three times, and he's still not dead!
Tatl: ....you've had to fight that skull kid three times?
Link: No, Ganondorf! You don't know him, but I've had to fight him in three games!
Tatl: Games? Huh? What do you think this is, a video game?
Link: [scratches head] Uhh, I don't know why I said that!
Tatl: Anyway, come on. Let's go find out what's making that sound!
AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Link: [falls to the ground, clutching the dirt] Noooo! You can't make me! I don't wanna go!
Tatl: [pulls on his tunic] Come on Link, you're suppose to be the Hero of Time! What if someone's hurt?
Link: I don't care! I don't wanna go! I want my mommy!
Tatl: [rolls eyes] Wimp! Come on skirt boy! We have to go check it out!
Link: I do not! AND ITS NOT A SKIRT! I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE CALLING IT THAT! IT IS A TUNIC!
Tatl: Whatever, skirt boy! [using strange faerie powers, she somehow pulls him through the lost woods following the howls...well the howls of the wolf, not Link's.]
TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THE ENTERTAIN
WERE GOING TO SING YOU THIS REFRAIN
AS WE SKIP AHEAD TO SOMEMORE PAIN!
EXCUSE OUR GRAMMER, WERE NOT TO BLAME
THE AUTHOR IS GETTING VERY LAME!
TATL DRAGGED LINK ALL THE WAY TO THE SACRED FOREST MEADOW!
(Scene: Near the end of the Sacred Forest Meadow)Tatl: [drops Link] See, what wasn't so bad, was it!
Link: [head in the dirt] Mmmmph!
Tatl: [sweat drop] Umm, right! Anyway, just go up this ladder/path thing, the noise is coming from up there!
Link: [sits down in the dirt, and shakes his head] No way! I'm not moving from this spot, and you can't make me!
Tatl: [raises invisible faerie fist] Link, don't make me!
Link: [sticks his tongue out at her]
Tatl: Alright, you asked for hit! [picks him up by the scruff of his collar and throw him up the path/ladder thing]
Link: AAAAAAAHHHHH! [falls into the dirt for the third time in this story]
Tatl: [flies up behind him] I warned you! Now, lets see what this howling was! [she helps Link up and turn to face...SARIA?
Saria: [on all four on the ground, making wolf noises] AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Link: [sweat drop] Uhhh Saria, [goes up and pokes her] WHAT are you doing?
Saria: [realizes they are there] Oh hey guys! I'm just imitating a wolf, to see what there life is like! [tried to scratch herself with her foot, but fails]
Tatl: Ummmm, right! And why are you doing that?
Saria: To see what the troubles and hardships of being an animal are like! It's very hard to catch food like this. It shows how hard the lives of being a wolfos is!
Link: Right, Saria. Well we'll just leave you alone. [stands next to Tatl and plays the Prelude of Light] See you! [disappears in a flash of yellow light]
Tatl: [disappearing] See you...freak! [They both disappear]
Saria: [looks around cautiously, then speaks] Okay guys, there gone! You can come out now!
(Random Hylians and Kokiri come out of the bushes, some with articles of clothing missing from there body.)
Mido: Whew, that was a close one!
Saria: Yeah, but next time, don't howl so loud when someone takes a piece of clothing off, bazaar man!
Bazaar Man: Fine, lets just continue our game of strip poker!
[ballet dancers on a stage]
TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THE ENTERTAIN
WERE GOING TO SING YOU THIS REFRAIN
AS WE SKIP AHEAD TO SOMEMORE PAIN!
EXCUSE OUR GRAMMER, WERE NOT TO BLAME
THE AUTHOR IS GETTING VERY LAME!
SARIA AND EVERYONE ELSE CONTINUES THERE GAME OF STRIP POKER, AS LINK AND TATL APPEARED AT THE TEMPLE OF TIME!
(Scene: Temple of Time)
Link: [appears with Tatl in a flash of yellow light] Boy Saria was acting WEIRD back there!
Tatl: Yeah, anyway, back to searching for this Narvin person or whoever.
Link: It's Navi! And she stayed behind when the Door of Time closed, and then she disappeared!
Tatl: Then let's search the Market Place.
Link: [singing] Ohhh Na-Vi Where the hell could you be I miss you, And I need you And your annoying Beeping And telling stupid Advice I don't care about
Tatl: [slaps him] Stop singing!
Link: But the Temple of Time theme song is so repetitive it gets stuck in your head and you absolutely HAVE to sing along with it!
Tatl: [starting to sing] Oh Tael Why did you leave me I'm your big sister, But you stay with that skull kid The big prick Oh my gosh He was such a... [about to say a word that rhymes with prick]
Link: [slaps her just in time] STOP SINGING! IT PAINS MY EARS!
Tatl: Then lets get out of here!
(They both run out of the temple, covering their ears.)
END OF CHAPTER 1, OPERATION N-A-V-I
Naïve Annoying Vain Invertebrate