Author's Note: Okay, I
tried. I really and truly did. Please, everyone, don't hate
me for this! Pleeeeeease! Done begging now. Umm
. . . guess who it's about! You don't have to be a genius to figure
it out. I thought it would be funny to do this . . .
~
Since I can remember - since forever - the rules have, for the most
part, always been beneath me. With Mummy and with Dad, nothing was
ever good enough for me. Me - the center of their attention,
the light in their darkness, the very reason they exist.
But now - now the rules are changing, and I can't say I've a taste
for this change. Hunger, you know, is a terrible thing, especially
if you've grown accustomed to eating several times a day. With the
new rules, I'm only allowed breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No more
brunch, no desserts (the horror!) and absolutely no snack times
(unless it's "healthy" food). What is a growing boy such as myself
to do?
My stomach is rumbling and I am bored. Without a candybar to munch
on, or some popcorn to devour, what's the point of playing video games
or using the computer? Even watching t.v. has lost it's magical appeal.
It's just too depressing, and I can hardly bring myself to even look
at the screen anymore. Some of my happiest moments were spent doing
just that, while munching on potato chips or chewing pretzels. Today,
Mummy made me munch on carrot sticks instead.
Cake, pastries, nachos, chocolate, and cheese doodles used to be my life.
The day Mummy got the letter from that stupid school nurse at Smeltings
and threw all of my favorites away was the worst day I've ever experienced
- I really cried for the first time in years. It makes me sick to
my stomach to look at those green - what's the word for them again?
Oh, yes - vegetables, and if I see another orange or banana, I swear
I'll scream.
My life feels so empty, so barren. There is nothing left for me without
my food. I want to give up on living, because they won't let me eat.
Because Nurse decided to go and change the rules . . .
~
Author's Note: Did everybody
guess Dudley? If you did, then you're absolutely correct! Oh,
and with the semi-big words in this one - let's just say Dudley used a
thesaurus, okay?
Disclaimer: Dudley and co. belong
to J.K. Rowling, not me.
~
