Severus Apparated into the clearing where he'd followed Harry and Hermione. He didn't have much time: the Dark Lord would be wanting to meet with him again soon, and he didn't want to have to explain his sudden disappearance from Hogwarts so soon after his appointment.
He threw off the Headmaster's garb, balled it up and threw it at the base of a tree. He couldn't wait until this was all over and he could get away from Hogwarts forever; the memories were almost too much to bear since… he shuddered thinking about that night on the astronomy tower.
He unstrapped the sword of Godric Gryffindor from his back and carried it over to a small pond nearby. Judging by the smells of burning lamp oil, human sweat and what was undoubtedly Hermione Granger's perfume, their campsite wasn't far away, and he didn't want to risk being seen by Potter or Granger, for both his safety and theirs.
He drew his wand from his pocket and melted a small hole in the ice near the middle of the pond. He then levitated the sword out and over the hole with his wand, and after dropping it through and letting it sink, he resealed the ice. It was getting dark, and it came to him suddenly that Potter had nothing to make him think to look in the lake for a clue. Severus realized that since Harry had once been guided by the stag Patronus he mistook for his father, this time, he might just be guided by Severus's silver doe Patronus since it was a replica of Lily's. He cast the Patronus in the direction of the smells and found a place to hide where he could watch to make sure it would be followed. Sure enough, a few moments after the Patronus disappeared inside an invisible barrier, it reemerged with Harry Potter at its heels. Severus then cautiously made his way back toward his robes, careful not to make the slightest noise.
Although it had been Harry's night to keep watch, Hermione couldn't sleep. She still had that eerie feeling that someone was following them, and she wasn't going to be satisfied until she figured out why. She was positive that she'd just heard someone Apparate, and apparently Harry was too distracted to notice. She rummaged around inside his trunk, pulled out the Invisibility Cloak, threw it around her shoulders, and snuck out of the tent without Harry even noticing. She hoped she was just being paranoid about this whole thing because otherwise she was going to have to find a polite excuse to give Harry about why she wanted to be on guard every night from that point on.
She walked through the protective barrier she'd put up around the campsite and headed toward where she thought she'd heard the sound of someone Apparating. After a minute or so, she nearly lost her balance stumbling over something at her feet, but was able to straighten up without making a sound, only to discover that what she'd stumbled on was a wadded up set of Headmaster's robes. That could only mean one thing… She dropped the robes back where she'd found them and continued walking. Suddenly, she came upon the pond she'd played near as a small child, and standing next to it was Severus Snape, hovering over it what looked to be the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Keeping her usual cool, she realized immediately that he was putting it somewhere for Harry to find, which must mean that it was going to help them get through the fight with Voldemort. For Snape to have gone through this much trouble to help them instead of fighting against them put Hermione's mind into overdrive, and she backed away slowly. She watched him drop the sword into the water and seal the ice back into place, then cast a beautiful Patronus toward their campsite. Although she wanted more than anything to consider this a redemption for him, murdering Dumbledore was unforgivable. She'd been able to excuse almost everything about him until that night. With the memory of Harry chasing the former Potions master across Hogwarts grounds, her logical side clicked into place, and as Harry stepped through the barrier following the Patronus back toward the pond, Hermione drew her wand and made her way toward the pile of robes Snape had left behind. Just as he neared them, she threw off the Invisibility Cloak.
"Based on what I just saw, I'm inclined to believe I've never really understood you at all," she said, her voice strong and unwavering despite the tumult of internal conflict she was presently experiencing. Her wand was pointed directly at the furrow between his sallow eyes, and in them, she could see a mixture of fear, anger, and sadness. He'd lost weight; his skin was almost translucent and his clothes hung limply from his shoulders. His hair was matted and he looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks.
"Don't tell Potter."
"Somehow I don't think he'd believe me even if I did. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you where you stand for what you did to Professor Dumbledore."
Severus knew that under normal conditions, Hermione would never hurt a fly. However, Severus had witnessed the things she could do when emotionally compromised and right now, she was definitely emotionally compromised. He could easily have disarmed her and gotten away, but he was tired of fighting. If she wanted to kill him that badly, she would do it eventually; what difference did it make whether it happened today or tomorrow? If it wasn't her, it would be the Dark Lord, and personally he'd rather not give Voldemort the satisfaction.
"Professor Dumbledore was my friend, my mentor, and the one man on this Earth who made any effort to understand me. You forget that he was once my Headmaster as well. I killed him only reluctantly, at his own request, and to fulfill a promise I'd made both to the Headmaster and Draco's mother. He was very sick and wished to die with the dignity that he deserved, and didn't want to see a confused, innocent young man make a mistake that would ruin his life."
Hermione didn't move or reply as she thought his words through. It had started to snow and Severus's appendages were beginning to tingle. He bent down to pick up his robes, Hermione's wand following him the whole time. As he straightened up, she gazed directly into his eyes and slowly lowered her wand. There was something in their pathetic stare that finally convinced her that he was telling the truth, and that she was safe.
"It's freezing out here, and from the sounds of things it's gotten pretty hectic out there. I'm sure you could use a rest. If you'd like, I could brew us a pot of tea."
Severus froze. He didn't know what to say; it had been years since someone had shown him any genuine kindness, and of all the people in the world to do it, Harry Potter's best friend was one of the last people he'd expect it to come from. He opened his mouth to say something, but all he could manage was a feeble "Thank you."
"It's the least I can do for the man who just gave my best friend what he needs to save the world; especially since the person he's saving us from happens to be your master."
She walked away, and he followed her silently to the tent where she and Harry had been staying. The warmth inside slowly soothed the numbness out of his fingers and toes, and his attention was immediately diverted by the radio crackling away on the table.
"You've all been keeping informed?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Yes," Hermione replied shortly as she magically brewed tea. "Ron is – was – comforted by the fact his family is still safe."
Snape sat down stiffly on a folding chair. "Was?"
"Yes," she replied shortly, "he left a few days ago. All of this got to be a bit too much for him to handle. By the way, I forgot to congratulate you on your new appointment. How does it feel to be Headmaster of Hogwarts?"
So this was why she'd invited him in; to cut him down. Well, she had another thing coming if she thought she was going to… Hermione Granger might be a know-it-all in the classroom, but he'd be damned if he was going to let her take stabs at him when it came to something she couldn't possibly understand.
"I never wanted it. The Dark Lord is a hard man to deny. It was only at his insistence that I took the post," he spat back at her.
"And why should I believe that?" She replied incredulously, handing him a teacup.
"I couldn't care less if you did." He responded curtly, slamming the cup down on the table a bit harder than he'd meant to and spilling tea everywhere. He shook his hand in shock as tea burned his skin.
"Here, let me help you." Hermione said, walking over and wrapping his hand in a towel. He flinched at her touch, and she found herself kneeling at his feet, staring into his eyes again. "You're not really anything at all like the person you pretend to be, are you, Severus?"
"You've gotten awfully bold, referring to your instructor on a first-name basis," he replied, turning his face away from her and wiping up the tea on the table with his free hand.
"Former instructor," she replied "and you'll have to forgive me, but it would feel a bit too awkward to call you 'Headmaster.'"
He took a deep breath and replied through gritted teeth. "Severus then."
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" he responded, throwing the towel down on the table and turning to glare at her.
"Shield yourself from kindness," she replied, reaching up to hold his free hand as well. He flinched again and tensed a little, but didn't turn away from her gaze. "You try so hard to be cold and distant, but I can tell now that it's not who you really are."
"Miss Granger, one of these days that know-it-all attitude of yours is going to get you into serious trouble."
"If I'm wrong, then why do you care what happens to me? Why did you come here and leave that sword for Harry to find?"
Severus gulped around the knot that had formed in his throat. "Why are you doing this?"
"Harry might be thick, but I'm not," she answered. "You've been grading my papers for years, so I know your handwriting as well as if it were my own. I knew all along that you were the Half-Blood Prince, but Harry needed to figure it out for himself for once; I can't always solve all of his problems for him."
Severus's eyes widened a bit at this, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. "That's an awfully bold statement to make about your best friend. Apparently I'm not the only one who's hiding their true nature."
"I'm not hiding anything," Hermione huffed. "Harry is my best friend, and I love him dearly, but sometimes solving other peoples' problems gets a bit tiresome. Being someone's friend doesn't mean you're above recognizing their imperfections; it just means helping them improve themselves and occasionally stepping aside and letting them make mistakes in order to help themselves. Besides, I knew that if you were really cruel or dangerous, you would never have made potions for Professor Lupin, or come looking for us in the Shrieking Shack, or protected us outside the Whomping Willow for that matter. I did think your potions text was dangerous in Harry's hands since he had no inclination to learn more about it before using it, but considering the memories he told me about, it's not surprising that you would've written a spell like that."
"There you go with that know-it-all attitude again." Severus responded, rolling his eyes. He should've known better than to let Dumbledore talk him into those lessons with Potter.
"Then why don't you tell me what you think it is I'm missing."
Severus stared into her eyes for a few moments. Could he really open himself up to this young woman? What kind of a risk would he be taking? It's not like she was going to go running off to the Dark Lord or anything... What did he have to be afraid of?
"And just why exactly should I do that? I'm a full-grown man, and you're a sixteen year old witch. What possible good could come of it?"
"Because we both know that in the end, Voldemort will be beaten one way or another, and there's a distinct possibility that before the end, he'll realize what you did here today. Do you really want to go to your grave holding onto everything you've carried around all these years, or would you rather get everything off your chest and go forward from here a redeemed man?"
Although Severus had known since Hermione had first stepped into his classroom that she was much more mature and intelligent than anyone else her age, he'd never taken the time to realize just how wise she really was; no wonder Dumbledore had let her and Potter and Weasley get away with so much. He took a deep breath and started talking, images of his past floating through his mind as he spoke.
"Yes, I wrote that spell to use on James Potter, but I knew that doing so would only push Lily even further away, so I never did. She was my closest friend, and the only woman I've ever loved. I couldn't believe she fell for him. I'd always thought she was above being won over by a boyish smile, but apparently I never knew her as well as I thought I did. To this day I still regret some of the things I said to her. I've often wondered if I pushed her into his arms."
He fought hard against his emotions, but he couldn't stop the tears that had already begun to fall. His entire life, the only person he'd ever been able to confide in was Dumbledore, and even the former Headmaster hadn't known everything that was in his heart.
"She was the first and only woman to show you genuine affection, wasn't she?" Hermione speculated.
Severus was beyond the point of wondering how Hermione could've come to know so much about him. "Yes," he replied, "she was a friend to me even though I was different from her. She didn't judge me by my appearance or criticize my life. She was just… Lily."
"And you never thought you were good enough for her, did you?"
"For once, Miss Granger, you're wrong," he replied, although he wasn't proud of the real truth.
"Well, there's a first time for everything," Hermione shrugged. "So what's the real reason you pushed her away?"
"Because at that point in my life, I thought I was the one who could do better. No matter how beautiful or smart or kind she was, she was still a Mudblood. If only I had realized then how very wrong those old ideals were…" Severus trailed off, pulling his hands free and leaning forward to place his forehead in them.
Although she had her own reasons for disliking the term 'Mudblood,' Hermione stood up and wrapped her arms around the sobbing Headmaster. "You were just a child, and you didn't know any better. Your parents were certainly not very good teachers, so how could you be expected to?"
Severus sobbed for several minutes. All of his life, no matter how bad things got or how hurt he felt, he had never cried before. He'd always pushed away his feelings and replaced them with his studies. In many ways, he and Hermione were quite similar. In many ways she and Lily Potter were quite similar. Perhaps that was why he'd always kept her at a distance with his cold demeanor; because he'd grown to hate himself for what he'd done to Lily. He lifted his head and stood up. Hermione loosed her hold on him and moved in front of him, reaching up to wipe away his tears. As intelligent and kind and wise as she was, Hermione Granger was not Lily Potter.
"Thank you, Miss Granger, for all of this. I trust that you will keep it just between the two of us?"
"Of course," she replied with a sad smile, "and the name is Hermione if you don't mind."
He reached up his hand and took hold of the one she still had on his cheek. He kissed her palm and squeezed her hand tightly. "Ronald Weasley is a very lucky young man. Try not to be too hard on him. I think we've just established that sometimes young wizards aren't as forthcoming with their emotions as they ought to be. You are a very strong, confident, beautiful young woman, and I think you're intelligent enough to know how much he loves you, whether he's ready to admit it or not."
Hermione couldn't hold back her own tears anymore. She felt pity for this man who had gone his whole life without ever truly being loved and was now doomed to be condemned for the rest of his life; however long that may be. Before she could think, she moved her free hand up and around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him. For one brief moment, the two were lost in their hope that they would open their eyes to find the person of their dreams, but the spell was broken by the sound of voices approaching the campsite. Severus pulled himself away with great difficulty, grabbed his robes, and with one last grateful glance at Hermione, he Disapparated, leaving her standing there as confused as ever.