Scott paced around his bedroom struggling to find a way to find the right words to fix the awkward situation between him and Logan. Twisting on his heel, he rubbed his palms together and strained to come up with a plan—something that should've been easy for a master strategist like Scott had prided himself on being, but the more he pondered the situation, the more he realized he had nothing in mind to fix the blunder he'd inadvertently allowed to slip out nearly a week ago when he and Logan had been running a training exercise in the Danger Room.
It seemed simple enough at the time, but one thing had led to another when they'd been caught up in a simulation where Scott had miscalculated a step. That had rarely happened to him, yet when it did Scott had wound up on the ground with Logan on top of him chastising him for his absentmindedness. That had escalated to screaming and shouting between them, which had evolved into something worse when Scott having had enough had hauled out and hit Logan right square across the face. It had been a low blow at the time, but Scott had been so annoyed and agitated with yet another lecture about his less than savory behavior over his grieving that he'd acted completely out of character. When he'd done it, he'd anticipated Logan returning the favor and knocking him into next week, but he'd simply stood there, watching Scott with a surprised expression—in silent contemplation when Scott had decided he had more than enough. Before he'd known it he'd charged at Logan again caught up in fury and desire when he'd slammed Logan up against a wall.
After that everything had been a blur when their lips had collided. Beyond that it was a whirlwind of hands and teeth, both of them exploring the other with frantic determination until Scott could recall their pants open and down below their waists with bodies shifting and colliding in a frenzy of desperate kisses and gripping hands until they'd lost themselves to passion in ways neither one had anticipated. It had been so fast and frantic that when it was over, Scott had found himself at a loss. His torn shirt had hung loosely over his shoulder when he'd searched Logan's features in an attempt to make sense of the reckless situation between them. However, before his brain could process what was happening, Logan simply pushed Scott away, righted his pants and stomped out of a room with a huff. That was the last time that Scott had been alone in a room with Logan, let alone in speaking distance. Yes, they'd gone on a couple of missions with the others, but Logan had avoided him. He'd refused to stick around and say anything to Scott even when Scott had attempted to approach him. Instead Logan would snarl and huff before heading off in the opposite direction and leaving Scott to question if Logan would forever hate him for his impulsive behavior.
"Damn it," Scott cursed finding himself at a loss when he looked around his empty bedroom. It had once seemed like a welcome place before he'd lost Jean, but now the walls simply served to close in around him in her absence. A place of solace and comfort was now hell to Scott when he turned his attention to the bed where they'd shared their dreams for a future with one another. Now it simply served as a reminder of all they'd lost as Scott had found himself increasingly agitated with the ghosts of the past he'd surrounded himself with. After his encounter with Logan they'd felt so far from his mind, no longer a part of where he'd found himself wanting to be with the memory of Logan burning on his mind.
"This isn't going to help anything," Scott mouthed to himself making his way to the bedroom door as he once again weighed out his options. Yes, he could take the direct approach and go straight to Logan, but he feared that wouldn't accomplish anything. Instead it might make things worse if Logan had felt that Scott had been taking advantage of him. In his position of power Scott had known better than to push himself on Logan, to force his will on the other man, but Logan had been too stunned to protest.
"Then again, had Logan really wanted to?" a voice inside of Scott's head questioned when Scott thought of all the times Logan had balked at Scott's authority. Logan had never done anything that Scott had asked of him unless he'd truly wanted to, yet with them touching one another like that on the Danger Room wall it hadn't been about a mission. It had been about lust and instinct, more primitive than Scott had cared to admit, yet instead of talking about what happened Logan had avoided him. Hell, avoiding him would've been easy enough, but at this point Scott could feel the full out avoidance on Logan's end. Yes, he'd done what was expected of him, but beyond that, he left the mansion at all hours, going out without warning, without telling anyone where he'd be and Scott found himself hating it.
"What's going on with Logan?" Ororo had questioned when she'd passed by Scott in the hallway, "He seems…distant."
"When doesn't he?" Scott had responded with a simple shrug of his shoulders in an attempt to play it cool, but even he had been concerned about Logan's mental state.
It wasn't like Logan to walk away without any kind of backlash. If he'd been angry, Scott would've preferred that Logan beat the hell out of him, but the silent treatment—that was killing Scott in more ways than he'd cared to admit. Instead Scott was struggling to find a way to fix things—to find a common ground when he made his way through the hallways of the school hoping to find a way to deal with his restlessness. Making his way into the kitchen Scott had thought he'd found it until he spotted Logan at the table with a carton of double fudge caramel chocolate chip ice cream in his hands. He raised a heaping spoonful to his lips when Scott cleared his throat and spoke up in spite of the tension between them.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Scott warned in a neutral voice, "even with your healing powers I'm sure you'll regret that in the morning."
"Unlike you Slim," Logan huffed not bothering to look at him when he pushed the ice cream in past his lips, "I like living on the edge."
"Fine," Scott decided feeling a moment of relief when Logan hadn't walked away from him. Instead he remained seated on the table looking at the carton of ice cream as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room, "if you want to live life on the edge, then let me join you."
"I'd rather you didn't," Logan muttered under his breath when Scott opened up one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a spoon.
"I realize that, but at the same time with the way you've been avoiding me like the plague, I think now is as good a time as any for us to talk," Scott decided dropping down to take a seat across the table from Logan, "Look…about what happened before…"
"Don't," Logan closed his eyes and sighed, "Just forget it Slim."
"I can't forget it," Scott frowned back at him, "especially not now—not when you're angry with me. I know what I did was wrong, but…"
"What you did?" Logan repeated raising his chin up to give Scott the first perusal since the night in the Danger Room.
Scott nodded, "I know what I did was a mistake. I never should've taken advantage of you like that. I wasn't thinking and…"
"No you weren't," Logan snarled dipping his spoon back down into the container. He scooped out an oversized spoonful once again and deposited it into his mouth with a huff. After a few seconds of silence he swallowed the bite before glancing over at Scott once again, "but neither was I."
"Don't do that Logan," Scott replied reaching out to pull the ice cream container from Logan's grasp. When Logan refused to let go of it Scott simply dipped his spoon in the container and collected some of the fudgy treat for himself, "Don't put any of what happened on you. I was the one who initiated things in the Danger Room."
"And I was the one who should've been smart enough to stop it," Logan grumbled with agitation in his voice, "I knew better than to let things get out of hand like that."
"I'm the one that kissed you," Scott reminded him simply, "If I hadn't been so impulsive at the time, then you wouldn't be angry with me. You wouldn't be furious that I took advantage and…"
"Do you really think that's what happened?" Logan questioned with wide eyes.
"Of course it is. I attacked you and naturally you're upset that I used my position of power to subdue you and…" Scott struggled to get his words out when he felt the weight of Logan's eyes upon him. A moment later Logan let out a small laugh.
"Is that what you think happened? That you subdued me against my wishes?" Logan repeated pushing his spoon into the container again.
"Obviously, I mean that's what's been bothering you, right?" Scott answered with a small shrug of his shoulders, "It's why you won't even look at me when we're in a room together because I hurt you and…"
"You didn't hurt me Slim," Logan clarified with a frown, "Nothing that happened in the Danger Room happened because I didn't want it to. Quite the opposite in fact."
"But…" Scott set his spoon down on the table top, "I thought that."
"I ain't been avoiding you because you pissed me off Slim," Logan finally revealed, "Believe me if that was all it was, this would be a hell of a lot easier. This is more complicated than that."
"I…I don't understand," Scott began watching Logan shift on his chair.
"I know you don't and that's what complicates things," Logan attempted to find the words to convey what he was thinking, "Look, you know I'm not one for talking about feelings."
"I never said you had to. Logan, I realize that you have your privacy and…" Scott started when Logan's eyes upturned towards his once again.
"That's just it Slim. There's nothing private about what it is you do to me when you walk into a room. Everyone can see what you do to me," Logan confessed in a quiet whisper, "It's gotten to the point where I can't pretend anymore—especially not after what happened in the Danger Room. Hell, I don't want to anymore."
"I'm still not following Logan," Scott blinked back behind his visor, "You walked away from me in the Danger Room the other night…"
"Not because I was angry with you Slim, but rather I was angry with myself," Logan blurted out shamefully, "I know how hard things have been for you since you lost Jeanie. Hell, it's worked a number on me as well, but since she's been gone—even before I've been thinking these things about you…about us."
"What kind of things?" Scott inquired further.
"Things that make last week in the Danger Room look like child's play," Logan stated plainly, "I've been obsessed with the idea for weeks, so when you kissed me like that, well, it threw me. It got me thinking about all the things I've been wanting and needing and…"
"You wanted it," Scott gasped in realization, "What happened between us…"
"…would've been a prelude to a wild night in my room had you been willing," Logan finished for him, "which is why I walked away when I did. I know you ain't in your right mind Slim. I know you're confused and I won't allow myself to take advantage of you like that. Not when your head isn't clear."
"You mean you think that…" Scott found himself at a loss when he slid the chair he was seated in away from the table, "You think I'm confused about what happened in the Danger Room?"
"Aren't you?" Logan raised his chin up to look at Scott standing beside him.
"Not a chance," Scott shook his head firmly, "Logan, I know it was impulsive, which is a bit of a change for me, but if I didn't want it to happen, then it wouldn't have happened. Believe me when it was happening I was enjoying it. It wasn't until you walked out like you did that I got to thinking that I'd upset you and…"
"That's just it Slim," Logan pushed away from the table as well, "As much as I enjoyed it, I didn't want it to be for all the wrong reasons. I didn't want it to be because you were looking for something to stifle the pain of losing Jeanie. I wanted it to be because…"
"Because what?"
"Because you want me," Logan threw his hands up in the air, "Me Slim. I want it to be because you see something happening here."
"There is something happening here Logan," Scott took a tentative step towards him.
"I'm not talking about sex," Logan replied giving Scott a long once over, "That's not what either one of us are looking for. I can't do that with you. I won't do that."
"You won't have sex with me?" Scott wrinkled his nose at Logan's response to him.
"No Slim," Logan's frown intensified, "I won't have sex with you without meaning it. You aren't someone I can do that with."
"Why?" Scott questioned tensing up as Logan took a step towards him.
"Because you're special Slim and I don't want to just be that guy that helped you put what you're missing with Jeanie out of your mind. I can't be that guy," Logan insisted clearing his throat. His gaze shifted across the kitchen and away from Scott.
"Why?" Scott prompted him further.
"I already told you Slim that…" Logan practically snarled impatiently.
"Tell me why Logan," Scott spoke up in a firm, authoritative tone.
"Because you mean something to me. I care about you Slim," Logan confessed taking a bold step towards him, "More than I thought I would when I first got here. It's the reason I came back—the reason why I still can't find it in me to leave again."
When Scott remained silent Logan spoke up with an uncharacteristic nervousness in his voice.
"For so long all that mattered was finding out who I am and where I came from. When Chuck gave me the tools to discover the man I once was, I was ready to take off and do just that, but then there was you," Logan explained with a shake of his head, "You got under my skin in ways that I couldn't quite shake and now I don't want to. You infuriate me to no end, but at the same time, I live for the kind of annoyance you bring into my life. I welcome it and…"
Scott stepped forward wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders and pulling him in for a kiss before Logan could finish his statement. In an instant he felt Logan respond to him, sliding his arms around Scott's body to squeeze at him as if he'd never let go. Their lips parted with the kiss, growing and expanding until Scott found himself seated on the table top with Logan over him kissing him as if letting go simply wasn't an option. Urgently Scott's fingers tugged at Logan's hair, pulling at the wiry strands when Logan's lips tapered off over Scott's neck building into teasing bites and nips until he pressed a kiss over Logan's shoulder.
"You infuriate the hell out of me too Logan," Scott whispered pulling Logan up to meet his eyes behind his visor, "so much so that I can't imagine my life without you in it."
"I just….I just don't want to be the regret you have when you realize that this wasn't about moving on," Logan explained when worry creased over his brow, "I just don't want you to think that I was just another regret in the series of bad mistakes you've made in your life Slim."
"Why would I think that when you're one of the best things that ever happened to me Logan?" Scott questioned reaching out to cup Logan's face in his hands, "When I thought you were angry with me, I didn't like it. I hated it. I know I'm not one to talk about my feelings either, but when you're around life is better than when you aren't. I need you Logan just as much as you need me."
"But is it enough?" Logan inquired reaching out to touch the side of Scott's face. His thumb brushed up against the side of Scott's face in a tender sweep.
"I'd like to think so," Scott replied sliding his fingers out across the table to dip his index finger in the container of ice cream. He raised his chocolate covered finger up to Logan's lips, sliding the cool treat over Logan's bottom lip in a slow, sensual movement.
"You're playing with fire Slim," Logan murmured opening his lips to allow Scott the opportunity to push his finger inside. Licking at the pad of Scott's finger, his eyes searched Scott's features once again before Scott withdrew his finger from Logan's mouth and returned his hand to the ice cream container.
"Maybe I like the way we burn when we're together," Scott answered in a sultry tone. He offered Logan another taste of the ice cream when there was a noise in the hallway. Immediately the both of them tensed up, waiting for a response before Logan threw caution to the wind and pulled Scott to the edge of the table engulfing them completely in his arms. Scott's arms slid around Logan's shoulders, his lips crashing down upon Logan's as his legs squeezed at Logan's hips pulling him closer to him on the table top until finally the sound of someone clearing their throat pulled the both of them from the moment.
"I knew it," Marie smirked with a hint of laughter in her voice. She entered the room giving the both of them a scrutinizing brow before shaking her head at them, "although I should warn you Storm is on hall patrol tonight. If she catches the both of you in here doing that, well, I'm pretty sure there's going to be hell to pay."
"I'm willing to risk it," Logan leaned forward kissing Scott again when Marie threw her arms up on the air.
"It's your funeral," she mouthed under her breath leaving the two of them alone again in the kitchen.
"She's right," Scott finally decided breaking away from the kiss, "Ororo isn't going to like it if we're in here doing this."
"What happened to wanting to live on the edge?" Logan wiggled his brow suggestively.
"I didn't say this couldn't be continued," Scott promised pushing his fingers into Logan's chest before sliding off of the table top, "However, perhaps we should go somewhere a little more private."
"It's probably best for what I have in mind for you," Logan agreed with a small nod. He stepped aside allowing Scott the opportunity to step down from the table, "How about my room?"
"It sounds perfect. I'll meet you there in five minutes," Scott agreed readjusting his pajamas in an attempt to feign a sense of propriety as he anticipated sneaking off into Logan's room for a night of passion and temptation. He moved forward stopping only at the doorway in time to glance over his shoulder and offer up a sultry grin in Logan's direction, "and Logan, when you get there don't forget to bring the ice cream."
"I wouldn't dream of it Slim," Logan promised scooping the container off of the table as it seemed they were in for an interesting night between them after all now that they'd sorted things out between them.