Every Other Weekend
Every other Friday
It's toys and clothes and backpacks
Is everybody in? Okay, let's go see Dad
I pack my kids into the back seat like I do every other weekend to go to their mother's house. I put little Amelia into her car seat and Bobby buckles himself into the front seat. Their bags go in the back, filled with enough clothes and toys to last the weekend. I always feel sad doing this, giving my children up for the weekend.
Same time in the same spot
Corner of the same old parking lot
Half the hugs and kisses, they are always sad
We trade a couple words
And looks and kids again
Every other weekend
We meet at the same place, every weekend. We always park side by side to make it easier to get everything situated. I watch as Bobby hugs his mom and I unbuckle Amelia so she can run to her mother for hugs and kisses. We say hello to each other as she puts Amelia in her car seat in her car and Bobby grabs his smaller bag from my car to put in her car.
She still looks so beautiful after all these years. I miss her so much. I miss the way she brewed her tea and how she looked after a bender in the lab. I miss the excitement we shared over the kids and all the things they were doing. I miss how we would drop off the kids together every morning, to daycare and school, before going to work. I miss going to bed every night and knowing she was right there. I miss her.
Every other Saturday, first thing in the morning
I turn the TV on to make the quiet go away
I know why, but I don't know
Why we ever let this happen
Fallin' for forever was a big mistake
They drive off and I go home. The house is so quiet. I'm glad I only have to be alone for two days. This never should have happened. We shouldn't have ever gotten divorced but I guess time messes with everything. Her late nights were a problem after a while. Everything got to be too much, I guess. We were arguing so much that it seemed like the only solution.
There's so much not to do
And all day not to do with him
Every other weekend
Saturdays are always the hardest. It's a full day all by myself and there's only so many errands and chores you can do before there's nothing to distract you from the empty rooms and the TV isn't loud enough to stop the sound of little laughs from your baby girl that aren't really there at all. I read my books, watch TV and shield myself from the calls of my family and friends, trying to cheer me up while I wait for bedtime.
Every other Sunday I empty out my backseat
While my children hug their mother in the parking lot
We don't touch, we don't talk much
Maybe goodbye to each other
As she drives away with every piece of heart I got
Sundays are bittersweet. I get my children again and I get to see her, if only for a little while, but I know how much it hurts to not be with them, to not get to see them every day. The children hug their mom goodbye after hugging me hello. We speak little, maybe hello and goodbye, unless something happened with the children over the weekend. We used to be best friends.
So I don't tell him I miss him
(I don't tell her I need her)
She's over me, that's where we are
We're as close as we might ever be again
Every other weekend
I wish I could tell her how much I still love her and how much I miss her. But I know I can't. It's been too long and it's never the right time. Besides she's probably over me now anyways. It would just confuse the kids and who knows how it would even work out in the end. This is as close as we will ever be again. A family, for a few minutes every other weekend is the best we will ever have.