Title: Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Chapter: 1 of 1

Rating: G

Summary: Noah tells his feelings about Luke and his downhill spiral

Characters: Luke, Noah, Winston (mentioned) Ameera (mentioned), Holden (mentioned), Carly (mentioned), Lilly (Mentioned), Lucinda (mentioned)

Genre: AU

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: This site is no way associated with "As the World Turns", CBS, P&G, or Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement is intended. Authors submit and write their own work.

Luke was doing some house work around his and Noah's new house they had just brought and moved into. He was packing some of Noah's stuff away when he came across a certain DVD he had never seen before. Curiosity got the better of him, and he went into the main living area and placed the DVD into the player and began to watch, as the screen went from blue to black, with Noah then appearing on screen

Why is sorry the hardest word that can ever be said?

Why is it that I continue to hurt you over and over again?

Why is it that I seem to never make things right for us both, mainly you?

It's a sad, sad situation that seems to get sadder and more and more absurd.

I continue to hurt you, over and over again.

I never ever wanted to or even try to hurt you, yet here we are.

How do I make you want to care for me again?

How do I make you want me want me?

How do I make you hear me, listen to me and understand me?

What do I say when its all over, and you don't want me?

What do I say when its all over, and you do want me?

Sorry just seems to be the hardest word ever.

I am not good with words really, and Luke I never really wanted to hurt you.

You are the most fantastic, kind, considerate and loving person I could have ever met or even ask for, yet I blew it.

I go ahead, blame you for my break up with Maddie, trying to split us up for your own satisfaction. I know now that this was never the case.

We then seem to get on track, but then my own bigot of a father stops us yet again and derails us both, more so you then me, but messes with my head. He shoots you, puts you in a hospital bed and then into a wheelchair for many months. I still don't understand how you could even think about me, let alone be around me. I start drinking and try to hit onto Maddie for comfort.

That was one of the darkest time not only for you, but for me as well. We then seem to get on track but then Ameera comes into the picture, and I come up with the most stupidest idea that I thought at the time was right, but now know it wasn't. that sham marriage continued to hurt you, strain our relationship for nearly three months.

We then end up Ney York, to try to find Ameera, but not only did we find her, but my dad and two corrupt cops who do there best to help my father. The down hill slope continues, as my dad jumps into the Harbour, after you and your Grandmother get the real police. We get back to Oakdale and I then blame you for it all really. For my dad jumping into the harbour, for Ameera being in police custody, for everything really. We then broke it off, only to be reunited by Cyndi and our own song True Colours.

But even then my downhill slope continues, and I tell you I have enlisted with the army and leave the next day to serve my country, to make my dad proud of me and become the man he wanted me to become.

You then come and try to change my mind, which I never did, that is until I made my own mind I couldn't go through with it.

Then the uphill battle begins again, as I come back to you in Oakdale and we start to rebuild what we have. We start work on moving me back to the farm, rebuilding what we have now. You, Luke have your own downhill battle going, with your parents going through a split up at the moment thanks to your dad and Carly sleeping together behind you mum's back. You then receive some money from your bio dad, Damian, but don't wish to accept it. But in the end you do and we start work on a foundation with the help of your Grandmother, Lucinda and Brian.

We move in together, but I still think my past has put a strain on us, and I wish I could try to forget out past, say sorry for everything, but sorry in its self is the most hardest word to ever say or even do at all, but I wanted to put this in writing, but as you and I both know, I am not good with words, so hence why I made this DVD.

I hope really you don't find this, unless I have passed away or somehow run away again, but I just wanted to let you know my true feelings for you Luke.

Cause I am truly, madly deeply in love with you. I always have and always will.

I love you Luke with all my heart, body and soul. You are mine forever and always.

And with that the screen goes black, Luke is choking back tears of both happiness and sadness. He decides that he needs to see Noah straight away. He ran out of their house they have bought together and headed to Noah's work at Java, where Noah was on a break, listening to his iPod.

Luke came behind Noah and held him tight never letting go "honey, I love you so very much, just like you said in the DVD, you are my forever and always, my very special one and only. I love you Noah Mayer" Noah by this time was utterly surprised, but then it came to him "You…..you found my DVD right" Noah asked as all Luke could do was nod his head.

Noah kissed Luke with passion, never wanting any of this to end, to help but an end to the pain of the past, and regain and only remember the good time that where and yet to be.