I know Brenda looks kind of bitchy in this chapter. I love Brenda, sadly I had to write about what I thought Donna and Kelly would think about her. It is a mean chapter I know, I didn't want to write it like this but I had to. I kind of feel sorry for Bren.

Chapter 1

Under Brenda's shadow

The rain drops were crashing against the windows and making a furious noise, the sky was completely gray which was unusual in West Beverly Hills, it was near seven in the afternoon but it seemed much later, and there she was, the unique Kelly Taylor staring at a picture she had hidden a long time ago. A picture taken a long time ago, when she met Brenda. They had been best friends, oh yeah. In the beginning they had been best of the friends, to the point that they have shared everything, and done everything together. However, life went on and things changed. They shared a lot of good memories but none of them seemed to matter anymore.

When she first met Brenda, she had met a shy girl, always afraid to say and act the way she was. Brenda was always trying to make it up for Kelly, even if she hadn't done anything wrong, and that was why Kelly liked her so much. Brenda was loving and caring, somewhat like everyone's little sister, which worked fine for Kelly. She smiled remembering the first time she saw Brenda, she was just walking in the class and looked really scared of the new high school, and even though it was true that she had only talked to Brenda because she didn't want to be the partner of a fat girl, the truth was that she had liked Brenda very much.

No, she had started to hate Brenda for three reasons, the first one was Brandon Walsh. She would never the be someone really important to Brandon Walsh, and even if she did, she would always be under Brenda's shadow. Brandon would always put Brenda before everything else, including Kelly, after all, Brenda was his twin. Brenda was a part of Brandon's soul and Kelly hated that. She would have taken it was another girl, she would even have taken it if it was Andrea, but not Brenda. No, not Brenda. Brenda was her rival in every single aspect in life and the truth was that Brenda would always win, well, not always, she had Dylan…she was a 'we' while Brenda was an 'I'.

The second reason was, that Brenda was simply popular for who she was. People didn't call Brenda a bitch, well sometimes, but not enough times anyway. Brenda was everything that everyone loved, she was smart, freaking brave and lovely. Even Kelly Taylor knew that. Kelly was the girl everyone wanted to spend a nigh with, Brenda was the one that people addressed like, 'someone I could love'. They couldn't love Kelly, they had to love Brenda. Super Brenda, friendly Brenda, smart Brenda…Brenda wasn't that smart, she was a freak out girl, according to Kelly. Brenda was, and would always be, everything that is wrong with teenagers. Just like Kelly herself but people wouldn't blame Kelly as much as they blamed Brenda, that was why she liked Brenda. She liked Brenda struggling, calling for Kelly's help, her help. It always made her feel so, powerful. Yet, Brenda didn't need help anymore did she?

The third and most important reason was Dylan McKay, she had had an interest in the McKay since they first met. Dylan was the bad guy and of course, the hot guy. The kind of guy Kelly liked, the kind of guy that didn't like Kelly. Why? Reasons Kelly would never understand. When Brandon and Dylan stared hanging out together, she secretly hoped that one day Dylan would look at her and realize that he needed her. It sort of happen like that, just, Dylan didn't look at Kelly, he looked at Brenda. Although he went to Kelly after Brenda, he chose Brenda over Kelly when he could have her right away. Secretly, she stared hating Brenda since the very first moment Dylan kissed her, just because that kiss would always haunt Kelly. Dylan never kissed Kelly with that intensity or that love. He always kissed Kelly with pleasure and passion, sometimes, even with a shadow of love, but never the way he kissed Brenda. Kelly knew that Dylan couldn't den it, he was still in love with Brenda Walsh. After all, he loved Brenda, not Kelly, but Brenda.

It didn't matter, Brenda would be gone in less than a week and her nightmare would he over. Everyone would be better, even Brenda herself, although Kelly couldn't care less. In less than a week Brenda would leave and hopefully never come back so Kelly would have Dylan forever. Once Dylan stopped seeing Brenda every day, everything would be fine. Dylan would love Kelly. Period.

She stared at another picture, one she liked. Dylan's arms were wrapped around Kelly, about to kiss her at lunch, under their tree. The whole gang was there, including Brenda who was laid on Brandon's lap. She saw something she had never seen before in that picture; Dylan was smiling, but he wasn't looking at Kelly, he was looking…he was looking at Brenda! He was staring at Brenda and smiling at Brenda…Kelly felt like her world was going down again, under Brenda's shadow.

At that moment, Donna walked in the room. She looked perfect, as always. Kelly didn't care, no matter how hard Donna tried, she would never be as perfect as Kelly. She sat on the bed by Kelly's side.

"Have you heard?" Donna asked with a smile.

"About what?" Kelly asked rudely

"About Bren! She is going to London to the Royal Aca…" Donna started to say. She was excited for Brenda, after all what happened, the girl deserved some happiness and although she didn't want Brenda to leave she knew it would be for the best. Just like Brenda did.

"Fuck I know!" Kelly snapped feeling how the anger boiled her veins. "Perfect Brenda is going to London and we aren't. So what? Is not like it is the best place to live anyway. She will end up living in a cracked and torn apartment and working dong crappy soap commercials while we have everything here, in Beverly hills! What is it so exciting about London? I would be mad if I was forced to move out Beverly Hills. And, we have the best actors here, why the hell is she going to the little London? I'll tell you why, she knows she can't make it here because she is a fraud"

Kelly said all that without thinking, but she really meant it. It was what she had been wanting to yell since she heard 'the news' about Brenda. Breaking news, the bitch is leaving. So what? Who cares? Not Kelly Taylor anyway. "Why is Brenda so especial anyway?"

"I don't know" Donna lied. She admired Brenda because Brenda would make mistakes. Brenda would be knocked down and get right back up because she was a fighter. Brenda would say "Stop it!" when she really meant it. She would put everyone before herself, even if it meant to lose what she wanted most. Just like Dylan, Brenda could have had Dylan, she would have to have gone to Dylan's and forced him to say, I love you, and Dylan would forget about Kelly but Brenda never…She was never in the way. Her one true love cheated on her and, yes, she got mad, but she never went to haunt Kelly, she dragged with it. She admitted she had lost, even when the battle was not over. She never meant to hurt Kelly or anyone else and she had faith in Dylan. She knew that sooner or later Dylan would realize. Brenda was always there for everyone, unlike Kelly. Brenda had a voice strong enough to yell for a change and make it happen, she was leaving them because she wasn't happy and she had the courage to admit it. Yeah, Dona envied Brenda as much as Kelly did, but unlike Kelly, Donna admired Brenda.

Donna stared at Kelly and for a second, she wished it was Kelly the one leaving in less than two weeks, not Brenda. She knew that the gang would fall apart after Brenda was gone, it was a countdown and nobody but her seemed to notice.

"You don't like her, do you?" Kelly asked as if she had read Donna's thoughts.

"Of course I don't, I hate Brenda" Donna recited knowing that she wasn't as brave as Brenda. She wasn't brave enough to tell the truth and ignore Kelly's influence. Although, Donna didn't like Brenda very much either. She didn't like Brenda because she had all she wanted, and still, she was hungry for more. Whenever she looked at Brenda she saw everything she (Donna) would have loved to be, all she wasn't. All she didn't have. Donna had expensive cars, a rich family and wonderful friends. She thought she was blessed with the gift of money and powerful, but when she saw Brenda she always realized the truth. That she needed changes as Brenda did, that she was a failure, she felt like her world was no longer enough and hated that Brenda had the guts to look for a change, to dare to look for a change to a even better life, when Donna had to stay home and see another girl living her life. When Donna saw Brenda, she always thought that she would always be walking a path that belonged to another. A path that belonged to Brenda.

For all those reasons, Donna hated Brenda as much as Kelly did. Sometimes even more, because Brenda, oh Brenda…How did she dare to leave them when she knew that everything was going to fall apart without her.

"I think we are done" Kelly said.

"Who?"

"Dylan and I. She loves Brenda" Kelly muttered with anger. "He had always loved Brenda"

Donna stared at her blond friend. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going back to Brandon?"

"What? Kelly…" Donna whined. Kelly smiled and added. "If I can't have Dylan, I am going to have Brandon and keep close to Brenda, so maybe one day, I could hurt her in the same way she has hurt me"

Far away from there, Dylan dropped himself under the rain. Wondering, thinking, staring and glazing at the same time, nothing felt the same. He didn't understand how they had gotten to that point but he felt it was his fault. It would have been better for everyone if he hadn't come along, if he hadn't met Brenda. How could he love Brenda while he was hurting other people? How could he love Brenda while he was hurting Brenda herself? He felt horribly guilty under the rain, but he didn't cry, because tough guys do not cry.

He liked Beverly Hills, the beach, the ocean, the sun but lately he wasn't as attached to Beverly Hills as he used to be. He wanted Brenda, he didn't care where they where, as long as they were together. As long as he could hold her in his arms, everything would be aright.

He had come to the beach because it always calmed him down, it always helped him to think and put his priorities in order, but he didn't have any priorities anymore, at least, no other priorities than Brenda, but it couldn't be. They would always want more than the other could give. He didn't love Kelly but he wasn't going to allow Brenda to break his heart again, he would stick with Kelly because he didn't need to be happy. He would always have Brenda's memory inside his brain and that was something nobody could take away from him. When he thought about Brenda, he didn't feel sad anymore but maybe, homesick. Because his home was wherever Brenda was, and when Brenda was gone he felt like a homeless man with a heart shaped box.

He wished he could talk to her, tell her that she was the woman of his life, beg her not to go, beg her to either take him with her or take his life away because he didn't want to live without her presence, but he knew it wasn't plausible nor reasonable, he knew that if he loved her, if he truly did, he would have to stop being an ass, kiss her and let her go, and blindly trust on their love, hoping that one day, she would come back to his arms so he could hold her so tightly that she would never go away again. There, staring at the waves, he realized that he loved Brenda more and more that there was nothing he could do to keep her with him, he had screwed up many times that he couldn't even count them…although, his love for the girl was the same, and still there, hidden and bottled by his other emotions, or whatever he had within… Nobody knew how much he really missed Brenda but himself and no one would ever know.

He stood up and took Brenda's picture from his wallet, he had always kept it there, the picture of the Prom, oh yeah, he would never forget the Prom, especially because he had been with Brenda, it felt like the entire night was made for them to love each other, to feel each other. The Prom seemed too far away now, but at the same time, he felt like it had just happened yesterday.

"I love you more than this Bren" He said throwing her picture to the ocean. The rain got stronger and the wind blew harder. The picture blew away and Dylan allowed one last cry for the woman who broke his heart…because he forced her to break it.

He knew that he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

okay, I know the ff is not very clear for now.I just want to let you know what is going on inside the other characters chapters when Bren is about to leave because this ff is centered in feelings, the next chapters are all going to be Brenda centered so this would work as, well , sorta an explanation. Reviews please!