Chapter 1

This fic was born out of a convo in the McDanno support group I recently became part of. Lcdrsuperseal and I discussed how much we "love" Catherine (sorry for the sarcasm, but I don't like her at all, after all she did, and if you are a McRoller or a multishipper do not get mad with me) and I was like imagine if Danny got drunk because of that (the whole engagement thing at the start of season 6), drowning his sorrows, and he was like imagine if Steve finds him like that. And my evil mind (blame the muse) came up with the idea of Danny confessing his feelings to an "illusion" Steve.

So, I took that and turned it into this (thanks lcdrsuperseal for inspiring me). But the muse was ignoring me the whole time coming back online and going offline for hours before I had it all done, and here's the end result. Hope you'll like it.

Also, big thanks to Praemonitus Praemunitus for the read-through and for once again keeping me off the edge and following the dangerous path my muse wanted to get me on (pulled the plug once again). And that encouragement with "More!" when I had barely 300 words written was a real push and I appreciate it. She melted over the little moment where Steve pulls Danny's hand and puts it over his heart. I don't blame her, I did, too.

Lunedd, my other partner in crime also did a read-through and boy after reading the first chapter she was awwwwing and feeling for our boys that are helpless in love. Thank you, babe :**

The title of the story came to me when I discussed our boys with Prae, and then I remembered that it is actually a title of one of Whitesnake's songs :)

Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Danny always felt welcome in Steve's house. Ever since they became friends, and Danny stayed at Steve's and slept on the couch, he had the key with him and it was easier when the door was locked and one of them needed access to the other's house.

He knew his partner was a trained Navy SEAL, ninja Navy SEAL if he may add, and he should've been scared by now with what could Steve do, if he thought there was an intruder in the house.

But, their psychic connection always told the other when they were around. So, Danny and Steve were comfortable with that. Well, not obviously when the one or the other had a date and was supposed to be private moment, but enough comfortable to at least get a heads up that they were coming.

Danny tried calling Steve's number thousand times since last night, but it went straight to voice mail. At first he thought he was probably worrying too much, Steve was with Catherine celebrating their engagement and didn't want to be bothered. But, when he called in the morning and Steve's phone went still to voice mail, the feeling of dread, in the pit of his stomach returned.

He took a quick shower, put on fresh clothes and drove off. On his way to Steve's house, Danny made a stop to get malasadas and coffee for both of them. He still didn't have his morning dose of caffeine.

When Danny came to the front door, he knocked first. He didn't want to catch them in the act, thank you very much. But when he didn't get an answer he let himself in.

What he found was baffling, the house was a mess. Furniture turned, pieces of glass on the floor, everything was like someone broke in.

On autopilot, he picked his gun from where it rested in its holster, released the safety and pointed it at nothing in particular.

"Steve!" Danny yelled, his heart in his throat. After a minute "Steve!"

A feeling of dread set itself in the pit of Danny's stomach as he took turns in the kitchen, the hall, out on the lanai and the bathroom. He moved carefully and silently up the stairs and checked the spare bedroom, then the upstairs bathroom. No sign of Steve.

Danny's last stop was Steve's bedroom. He opened the door silently, praying nothing happened to his partner. What he encountered was… shocking was the mild way to put it.

The room reeked of alcohol, Danny suspected it was either whiskey or cognac. He almost gagged and had to stop for a second to breathe deeply for a few times before his nose adjusted to the stench, and the bile didn't rise up to his throat.

Steve lay on the mattress, his prone form splayed at odd angles, only in his boxers. He was snoring, loudly, and was dead to the world. Danny set the safety of his gun up and holstered it before he went to face his partner sleeping form.

What waited for him on the other side of the bed brought tears to Danny's eyes.

Steve's hair was disheveled, there were dried tear tracks on his face, he could see the red around the eyes even in sleep, and Steve looked so worn out and 10 years older than yesterday.

Danny cursed himself internally for not coming to Steve's place sooner, because it looked like things didn't go well ever since yesterday afternoon. Judging by the empty bottles on the floor next to Steve's bed, Steve had started this party early and didn't think of calling Danny to it.

Danny's eyes focused on a tiny box on the night stand. The ring. The infamous ring. The proposal ring. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest, something he felt on regular basis ever since Catherine was back. Because he was gathering courage to talk to Steve about the way he felt about him, and then Catherine came back and ruined those plans.

Danny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was not worth it to dwell on those feelings, because clearly Steve didn't feel the same for him. The ring was a witness enough. In those velvety confines of the box, lay a diamond ring that never got to be put on Catherine's finger apparently, Danny noted. And that was probably the reason why Steve was as drunk as a log.

Chalking up his feelings about Steve and once again Catherine's betrayal, judging by the state of Steve and the house, Danny set a goal. He went downstairs and in the kitchen, making a fresh pot of coffee, the one he brought with the malasadas already cold in the Camaro. While the coffee was brewing, he tidied up, as much as he could.

When he was finished he poured the coffee in a mug and carried it to the bedroom. Carefully placing it on the nightstand, he gently started shaking Steve to wake him up.

Steve was grunting and pleading for 5 more minutes, but the person waking him up, that sounded suspiciously like his partner wouldn't budge and he found himself opening his eyes. What greeted him was indeed his partner. His blonde blue-eyed partner that had worry etched on his forehead and that kindness and love in those eyes for him. For Steve.

Steve blinked couple of times until his vision adjusted to the surroundings. He registered that he was in his bedroom, and a second after he managed to drag himself against the headboard steamy mug of coffee made its way into his hands.

He thanked Danny with a nod and seeped from the hot liquid that soothed his insides. The party must have been hard because he felt like a marching band was pounding on his skull. He had one hell of a hangover. And oh, no, they had work in less than… Wait, it was after 9?

"We are late for work, Danno." Steve stated matter-of-factly while simultaneously drowning the last of his coffee and getting up off the bed.

Danny sat on the edge, his gaze fixed at the wall, unmoving.

"Danny, I said…"

"I know what you said, Steven!" Danny's voice was stern and on the edge of pissed. "You are not going to work today. I already called Chin and asked him to hold the fort for today, because neither you nor I will go to work today. Understood?"

"But?"

"No 'buts'. You are hung over and can barely function as a normal person, let alone handle yourself doing your job today. Just how much did you drink last night, huh?"

And suddenly it all clicked into place. Catherine. The ring. The proposal.

"She's gone, Danny." Steve said as he slumped on the bed, dejectedly and started crying.

Danny enveloped Steve in a tight hug, while Steve finally released all the pent up emotions he had inside him for so long. He was hurt and betrayed so many times, Danny's heart was aching together with Steve's in unison. Danny gently rocked Steve back and forth, reassuring him that everything was gonna be alright, that he needs to let it go. And Steve did. For a while. Then his brain caught up with the events just a week prior, when he was a witness to the brutal confession from Danny's part. The one Danny didn't remember the next day, nor the day after that.

And Steve jerked out of Danny's embrace, sobering up. Danny was startled and looked at Steve like he grew on a second head.

"What happened, Steve?" Why are you pulling away?

"Catherine left. I didn't get to the main point of our conversation." You pulled away first.

There was the familiar pang in Danny's chest and he instinctively reached out to soothe the hurting spot. Seeing Steve follow his moves, he dropped his hand quickly to the mattress and sighed.

"I'm sorry, bud."

"Yeah, me too. I mean, I was kinda expecting it. But, I thought this time she'd stay."

"Yeah, me too."

"What? Is there anything you know, and I don't?"

Danny exhaled. It was now or never. "I talked to her."

"When?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I… I wanted to make sure she'll stay this time. That she won't hurt your feelings again. Because you were wreck after the events in Afghanistan. You avoided us all for weeks, and when you finally pulled through all you could think of was Catherine. Even after what she did."

"What are you talking about, Danny?"

"I'm talking about her betrayal number I can't even recall. She lied to you so many times, babe, covering for your mother, and then leaving you on your own in Afghanistan, calling ME to get you out of the mess she put you in the first place…" Danny's voice hitched and he cleared his throat before he continued. "I know, I get it. Her friend was in a dire need of help, and you went to help her. I get it. But, if she loved you that much, she would have done something to help you out.

"If it makes a difference, not that I want to compare myself with her or anything, I would have died trying to get you out of that mess, if it meant you made it alive. I know children's lives were at stake… But you are so important to me Steve."

"I know." And those words weighed more under the knowledge of Danny's feelings for him.

"That aside, she called you after you landed on U. S. soil and then she said she didn't feel complete and all. I get that, too, but how could she not feel complete? I mean what else could she ask from her life? If it was her mission to help those kids, she could've done it from here, too, work around that bureaucratic crap, and stay with you. Because you are a great man, and you deserve to be loved and cared for. What she did…" Danny suddenly stopped talking and hung his head low. His breaths were short and coming in gasps.

Steve was oddly cold and unmoving next to him, and Danny was wondering if Steve was even listening to what he had to say.

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I know how much you loved her and how excited you were with the proposal."

"Why did you talk to her?"

The question startled Danny and he gaped at Steve for a moment before he spoke up. Because I love you, you goof, came first to mind, but Danny stopped himself before he uttered a word.

"Because I care for you, Steve. And because I didn't want you to be burned again. Well, what good did I do, huh?"

Steve was mulling over Danny's words. He knew Danny had the best intentions for him, but he found it hard to believe Danny would go and talk to Catherine considering her stay, because he cared for him. Especially after what he said to him, and played an ignorant bastard afterwards with the cruel declaration that he didn't remember that night at all.

"You must be pretty hung over. Go shower and I'll make another round of coffee." The tension in the air made Danny want to leave Steve's bedroom as soon as possible. He got up, but a hand on his forearm stopped him in his tracks.

"You were hung over, too." Steve stated. "A week ago."

"Yeah, don't remind me of that, my head hurt like a bitch and I had to work that day… The main reason why I want you stay in today. I'll help you with everything you need."

"You don't listen to me, Danny."

"What am I not listening?"

"You were hung over, and you don't remember anything."

"What's there to remember?"

"What you said, that's what to remember, Daniel!" Steve snapped and closed the distance between him and Danny. "What you said. And then you claimed you didn't remember. Hurt more than to see you hung over and in pain the next day."

"And what? You think I was faking it?"

"Dunno. Were you?"

"Steve, babe, what's going on? Why are you like this?"

"You said you loved me. You loved me with years, and the next day it was like nothing happened. You acted like an ignorant son of a bitch, going about your everyday life like nothing happened!"

Danny was on the edge of tears again. Because of the hurt in Steve's voice and because of his own stupidity. Confessing to Steve that he loved him? Just how drunk was he?

Danny blinked a few times, he didn't want to cry in front of Steve and look like 'ignorant son of a bitch' that wants to win him over with tears. He swallowed his pride and just went with the thing he knew the best. He would apologize to Steve for the inconvenience and instead of causing him more hurt and pain, he'll leave.

It was obviously a mistake he came to Steve's place this morning. It was a mistake, because Steve didn't call him yesterday to tell him about the fiasco with Catherine.

And now Danny knew the reason why. Maybe Steve thought that Danny would see this as an opportunity to jump in right where she left off and get Steve for himself. Did Steve really think that low of Danny?

Danny's head was reeling. He tried to calm his beating heart, because the sneaky bastard would betray him in front of Steve.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I…"

"What, Danny? You'll claim that what you said it wasn't true?"

"No." And here, he said it. He admitted it. "As much as I don't remember what I said that night, and it would be nice if I got a reminder to what else I said then, I won't deny that. I love you Steve. I have loved you for a long time. Not just like a best friend. Or a brother. But, like you love the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, that kind of love."

He wasn't able to look Steve in the eyes, to see all that pain in those cobalt blues, to see the rejection, the repulsion. Because he knew there would be a rejection. Steve was as straight as an arrow and he would not suddenly change his mind about his bisexual partner that was in love with him for far longer than he could remember.

Danny started to back down again, but Steve was off the bed now and gripping his forearm enough to leave bruises. He tried to remove his arm out of Steve's grip, but the guy had a steel grip on it.

"Danny, please, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to us. I know you-"

"You don't know shit, Steven, and don't say that. I have every right to do this to myself, because I held on for so long, and it's too much. Everything is too much. I just want to have some reprieve for what I'm feeling. I know you don't feel the same. I would never blame you if you slapped me right now and kicked me out of the house. In fact, I'm gonna leave now and leave you alone for good.

"You do not deserve to hear the whining of your stupid partner that has fallen for you head over heels. It's not fair for me to do this to you. And I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Danny, wait-"

But, Danny was out of the bedroom, flying through the stairs and slamming the front door shut in a matter of seconds.

Steve was left gaping at the open door of his bedroom, staring at the distance, listening to squealing tires as Danny's Camaro peeled off of his driveway.

Steve exhaled and went to the bathroom to shower and clear his head.

…