Below the surface.
"Where is Kim." Tara muttered. The rest of the cheerleaders were sitting or standing in various postures of annoyance. Bonnie grinned. Little Miss Perfect was late. Again. She'd been running around after her nasty enemies, what with the sidekick and she was letting everything else go to pot.
"Where is the loser, anyway?" Bonnie asked. Marcella frowned.
"Didn't you hear? He had to head home—I heard the nurse saying he'd had a cracked rib, so they took him to the hospital and then home. He didn't want to go…"
"And Kim's running around like nothing happened?" Liz asked. "What a bitch." She said. Liz was normally one of Kim's supporters, but she didn't like it when Kim disrespected the loser. Bonnie didn't, quite, smirk.
"Well, she wanted to, but I heard that Barkin said that Ron needed rest…not kissy face." Several of the girls giggled at Marcella's comment, but she looked pensive. "She was pretty unhappy about it."
"Whatever…" Bonnie said, "I'm going to see if she's dropped completely, or is at least in the locker room." Bonnie started for the locker room, leaving the other cheerleaders behind. Bonnie had been waiting—Kim had a new routine ready to take out the competition, except the fact was it had just about taken out the cheersquad. But as usual, Kim wasn't going to back down, and Bonnie wasn't going to give her a chance to laugh at her because she backed down.
The other cheerleaders wouldn't, either. They'd do whatever Little Miss Perfect said, no matter what they might say behind her back. Unless she didn't show up, they were going to do this crazy routine, and Bonnie was going to be certain to be in the forefront…
Her face twisted as she thought about all of Kim's little acts. She pretended to not wear much makeup, when she had a whole bottle of some super skin makeup… Bonnie guessed Kim didn't want to have any skim blemishes. Bonnie had tried to find out who made it, but no luck. She even showered alone half the time, as if she was too good for the rest of them. Bonnie gritted her teeth.
Bonnie paused, at the entrance to the locker room and heard the shower going. Great. No matter they were late. Kim wanted a shower, to end the day after everyone was cheering her for doing her hero stuff.
Hmph.
But what was that other sound? It sounded like…whimpering?
Bonnie crept into the room, the lights gleaming through the clouds of vapour from the hot water. Kim was there, bent over, letting the shower hit her body, wearing no make up…and whimpering.
And Bonnie couldn't say a thing. She was struck dumb at the sight.
Kim's body was a mass of bruises. Literally, there looked to be more places that were black or blue than there were that were her normal color…or the color of the makeup, Bonnie suddenly realized, thinking of all those other times she'd made certain to dress alone.
Kim was holding herself, arms wrapped around herself as she painfully, slowly, stretched up and turned off the water. Bonnie retreated into the corner, watching, as Kim, another soft cry of pain escaping from her clenched teeth, limped out of the shower section.
In the light she looked even worse, and Bonnie realized that not all the bruises were new. Ballet taught you about pain, and she figured some of those bruises were days…or weeks, old. The darkening skin also showed more than a few faint scars.
How…how many times has she been like this? Kim reached down to her bag, still nude, and pulled out a small pill case, hands shaking. She didn't get it open on the first try, and when she did, the codeine tablets skittered across the floor, as Kim moaned and bent over to get them, putting them back in the case, hands trembling like an old woman's. Finally, she got one pill, and took it, gasping and trembling as she sat on the bench.
Then Kim reached into her bag and pulled out the liquid Bonnie had thought was to keep blemishes from sight.
Well it was, but not like she'd expected. Kim spread it out, and it acted like some living thing, covering her up. Bonnie looked at it.
Something that nerd friend of yours came up with? Then there was anger, Why didn't he tell someone? Ballet again, Bonnie was no stranger to pain, and right now, Kim was probably hurting worse than any member of the football team had. She wondered if a rib was all that was wrong with Ron.
She should have cancelled the practice. She should have….
Listened to Bonnie laugh at her? Bonnie withdrew to the sounds of Kim dressing and occasionally hissing or gasping at the pain and walked back out to the gym.
So? It's not my fault. If she wants to push herself because she's scared of me, that's not my fault. All she has to say is she can't. Bonnie told herself.
A stubborn part of her didn't respond.
"So, is she finally ready?" Tara asked.
"Um…um yeah." Bonnie said, abstractedly. "I heard her in the locker room."
"OK." Then Kim came walking out, that same energy filled stride, that same expression…
Except now Bonnie was watching her. Every time she put weight on her left leg, her eyes twitched and her lips thinned slightly. She was moving fast…but not so fast as she would be during the cheerleading routine, and Bonnie realized that Kim was putting everything she had into her walk right now.
"OK, Kim… ready for that maneuver you've been pestering us over all week?" Liz asked, grinning. The others laughed, and Kim…
Kim had forgotten that she'd wanted to do it today. Bonnie thought. She could see the fear in Kim's eyes.
Cool. So I can win. Kim can either admit that she isn't ready….
Or try the moves. Cheerleading was actually dangerous Bonnie knew. Maybe not if you were ready, but when people were making pyramids, and bouncing around, and stuff like that, a fall….
Well a fall from 11 feet could get you just as dead as one from a hundred feet, if you fell wrong. Of course, they all knew how to fall….
Normally.
But now?
But little Miss Perfect wasn't going to give up. Even if it made perfect sense. Even if it was stupid for her to pull the move, the dangerous, unneeded move at the best of times, never mind right now.
Well it wasn't her problem.
Agree, Damn it!
But the quiet part of her remained stubbornly silent.
You know this is wrong. It's dangerous. The quiet part didn't say anything. Why the hell had she been the one to see this? Why not Liz or Tara, they could call the practice without looking weak, but now Kim was nodding, and biting her lower lip.
Oh the stupid bitch is going to… She'd be on the top of the pyramid, where everything…
"No." Bonnie found herself saying.
"What?"
"It's not safe." Bonnie said. "It's not safe for any of us, Kim."
"Oh, C'mon Bonnie, we've done it before." Tara said, smirking. She was on Kim's side.
Not right now you aren't.
"And we almost fell, what, five, six times? I don't know about you, but I don't want to get sidelined with a broken arm—or a broken neck because of this." The others were looking at her.
"Well…" Kim said, and Bonnie saw her flinch as she put her weight down on one leg, "If Bonnie's that worried, maybe we should cancel for a day."
Oh Why don't you give them the real reason? Bonnie thought bitterly, but Kim continued.
"And she may be right. Maybe this is…too dangerous." Kim paused, "I'll think about it." And that, Bonnie knew, was all she was going to get.
"Well good." Bonnie said. "I'm going to go home now." The others got up and some of them talked about going to the mall. Kim shook her head and grinned at that, pleading fatigue, before she walked out the door. Bonnie watched as she continued to her car, noticing how she limped a few times, before compensating for it.
It's not my business.
Oh really? If Kim was like this right now…would she get better? Could she? If she didn't, the cheerleading position was as good as Bonnie's. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut.
Bonnie didn't leave the school for nearly an hour and was very quiet when she did go home. There was one thought in her head.
Huh. Guess having your enemy at your mercy isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Afterword:
This is just a short story-- but I may follow it up one day. A big theme of many stories about Kim is pride-- which often relates to her relationship with Bonnie and everyone else. But what happens when you can't push your body any further...