AN: This fic has been in the works for the past few months since Adam Rodriguez joined Criminal Minds. I thought it'd be a really cool perspective to take since CBS has a tendency to recycle actors and I'll forever view Adam Rodriguez as Eric in any sort of show. This fic is more CSI Miami oriented rather than Criminal Minds, but the sequel(it will occur) will be more CM oriented. I love yall and I'm so grateful for all your support! Hope you like this!

Calleigh knew something was going to happen, knew it was something bad. She could tell by his demeanor, by the way he was acting around her, around the team, around everyone, and it worried her. He was more... sensitive, than usual. Not as playful and happy as the Eric they'd grown to love. After the death of his sister, it was like that happy, playful Eric had died with her. And of course a part of him had- that was expected, and getting shot sure as hell didn't help ease the pain. But it brought he and Calleigh closer, and as their relationship progressed quickly(and expectantly) from friends to lover, Eric started to become more and more himself again. He started to smile and laugh more, and Calleigh was just grateful to have him, the real him back.

But he was acting different now, again, and it worried her. Not different like he'd been when he lost his sister, but different almost as if... his days were numbered, as if he knew he wouldn't be around much longer. And If she didn't know him any better she'd be worried that he'd be planning a suicide attempt; he was acting that cryptic, with her, with Ryan, with everyone. Acting like time was of the essence and he was rapidly running out of it, trying to savor everything he had now. Like he'd taken everything and everyone around him for granted and was trying to make up for it, trying to make amends while pretending nothing was wrong. But he'd never been good at hiding his feelings, and Calleigh couldn't help but feel like he was purposely being transparent with her, wordlessly easing her for whatever was about to come.

She noticed him holding her far more tightly than usual when asleep, she noticed that he was watching her when he thought she was sleeping, rubbing her back, stroking her hair, gestures that were intimate and normal between the two, but the vibe was different, much different, and not at all in a good way. One morning, right after she slapped the alarm button to snooze, she rolled in his arms to face him, and mumbled, "whats wrong?"

He shook his head, offering a broken smile that made her heart ache. He refused to meet her eyes and instead mumbled softly that he loved her, and brushed his lips over hers. She was worried, beyond worried to be honest, she loved Eric with every piece of herself, always has, and the way he was talking, the way he was acting at work, at home, something was going to happen, and Calleigh wasn't the most religious person around but she just didn't understand how some higher power could let this happen to them again, whatever was about to unfold.

It broke her and scared her to death,

After he almost got deported, after her smoke inhalation, after Puerto Rico, they'd both sworn to no more secrets, both swore they'd keep nothing from one another. But Calleigh knew, despite all of that(or perhaps because of all of that), knew that if he was keeping something from her it was for her own protection. That rule was unspoken, but undoubtedly existed, and was there because of his love for her, because of his need for her- she knew it'd break him if something happened to her because of his past. But she felt like she was losing her best friend, and she needed answers, needed to know.

It was no secret at this point that they were together, in every aspect of the word, and ever since this ominous cloud started following him she had this growing(and knowing) feeling that something was going to happen, that they would be apart, that he was going to leave for some reason that he had no control over, so she refused to care about what her coworkers thought.

She'd reached out to Horatio at work, hoping, praying that she was wrong, that she was reading too far into Eric's mood. But the way Horatio looked at her, the gentle way he brushed her shoulder, wordlessly confirmed her fears that soon Eric wouldn't be here, and it broke her heart. And she wanted to know why, wanted to know why the hell this was happening to her, to them, again. They'd already gone through so much, all she wanted was to just settle down with him, to just be together, to maybe start a family, to keep him from leaving again. And the way Horatio wiped away a lone tear that fell down her cheek confirmed that he couldn't talk about it, but that Eric had no other choice.

Eric knew she knew, knew the moment she ran into him in the locker room. The look of sheer pain that she wore nearly broke him, it was almost enough to make him find a way around this, to make him find a way to make it work. But he'd thought of all the possible things he could do to stay with her, to at least keep in contact with her, he'd ran everything over and over in his head. He couldn't bring her with him, when the FBI first talked to him about this, about him needing to leave, to rebuild himself, his first thought was Calleigh. He'd asked, practically begged for anyway to just bring her with him, but they said no, for her sake. Danger was following him, not in the way it had when he almost got deported, not in the way it had when he had to save his father. This danger was danger she couldn't protect him from.

That night, the last night, she took him home, she laced her hand with his and pulled him through the door. She stepped out of her heels and he toed out of his Chucks while she was tugging him towards her bedroom, their bedroom, really. He hadn't spent a night without her in a little over a year, now that he thinks about it. It never really occurred to him how little time they've spent apart up until now, and the knowing look she gave him was enough to break him. So many emotions ran through him, through his veins and to his heart and he hated it, he hated feeling this way.

Anger, because he has to leave the one thing he loves most, Calleigh. It'd taken so long for them to get here, years and years of build up until that one night when she was in the hospital and he'd almost lost her. He felt like he couldn't win, honestly. It's like once he finally gets what's precious to him, it's taken away from him. He'd already lost so much, enough to make anyone want to just jump off a building and call it a day. He lost Speedle and his sister. He almost lost his own life, though now he it feels like he pretty much has, everything he loves is being taken away. His job, his family, his city. Calleigh.

Sadness, enough to make his heart ache and break, because this very well might be the last time he has her(though he liked to pretend that wasn't true), the last time he kisses her, holds her, hears her voice, her moans, feel her coming around him. Losing her meant losing himself, and he didn't know how much more pain he could take.

She'd taken the reigns this time and he let her, he was going to let her do everything and anything she wanted. Let her do whatever she needed to fill the brokenness she felt inside her chest while she was left to make sense of something she knew nothing about. Everything was in slow motion; the intimacy wasn't new for them, but the extent of it and the sadness that was laced within set them in soothing rhythm. He let her be on top for a while, let her kiss out her fear and pain in an attempt to fill the anticipated loneliness. Her hands careened over his chest, his abs scratching at his shoulders and sucking at his neck.

He gripped her hips tightly and ground she against him, and when she moaned his name he suddenly stopped, twisted, and rolled them. He had this empty feeling in his chest, aching inside him in a way that only she would be able to fill. And he hated the fact that he felt it now, because she was here with him, they were together now, her hands scratching against his scalp while he slowly descended down her torso. Somewhere between the front door to the bedroom and to the bed their clothing had been shed, ripped off and thrown on the floor; they needed that barrier gone, needed to be skin on skin with eachother, needed to feel their warmth.

And Eric made sure to savor this, to savor her, being here with her, to suck and nip and taste at every piece of skin he could find, hearing her voice say his name over and over. His fingers teased her chest, his tongue between her legs until it became too much for her and she forced him back up, rolling once again so she was on top, so she was in control of what little she had left. And Eric didn't mind, not when her cheeks were flushed and her hair cascaded around her, not when she ground her slick heat against his hardness, sure as hell not when she gripped him and guided him to her entrance and slowly sunk onto him. His one hand made it's way to her hair, and he was grateful she didn't choose to move right then, was grateful to just feel her around him while his lips brushed over hers over and over. She laced his free hand with hers when she started moving, her other hand scratching lightly at his scalp while the rend and sew of their hips filled the empty feeling he knew was going to come.

They kept things slow, tried to make each other last, tried to make it go on forever, tried to make it seem like time didn't exist because all she wanted was to keep him here with her, and she didn't understand why the world found that to be too much to ask. But then she felt his fingers between her thighs while she continued to move over him, and all the questions she had she couldn't remember, not when his fingers circled over her the way he knew would make her forget, not when his other hand gripped her hip tightly and kept her moving, kept her riding. She wanted it to go on forever, to be with him forever, but she knew that wasn't going to happen, knew they wouldn't be able to hold out, and when she came around him, her orgasm ebbing through her, their hands were laced, their foreheads touching and noses brushing, and when he came all he could see was her, was them, what they could have been. And he knew that's all she could see too.

She rolled off of him, snuggling tightly against him, her head nestled against his chest while he brushed his lips over her forehead and stroked his fingers down his spine. They were quiet for a while, nothing in the air but the sound of their breathing and the bitter loneliness that was about to come. It settled around them, and Calleigh tried to push it away, tried to focus on the fact that he was here now, but she couldn't.

"Please don't leave," she whispered, and if it wasn't for the tears he felt against his chest, he wouldn't have been sure she'd spoken at all. There was so much he needed to tell her, so much he simply couldn't tell her, so he held her tightly, nuzzling her hair and savoring the smell, and whispered an apology, "I'm sorry, Calleigh."

She knew that was the most he could say, and it pained her, this entire situation pained her, because it wasn't fair, not at all. How long had they been dancing around the idea of them being with one another? How long had they avoided it? So many years were wasted, and she wanted to cry, to scream, to run until her lungs were on fire and she couldn't breathe, but didn't want to put that burden on Eric, not when he was right here with her. So instead, she held him as close as she could and tried to stay awake with him, but the smooth waltz of his fingers over her spine began to lull her to sleep.

Calleigh-

I'm sorry. I can't tell you what's going on right now, and I wish I could, so you'd understand. I don't want you to think I'm choosing this, because I'm not. I've thought of every possible way to get around this, to find some way to keep us together, but I cant, for your sake.

I love you, I've always loved you. I'll always love you. Whatever happens, you're the only one for me. I'll be back, okay? This isn't goodbye, it's just... to be continued. You're the only one I've ever loved Calleigh, the only person I've ever wanted, ever needed. You've always been there with me from day one, you've always had my back, and I'm beyond grateful for that. Without you in my life, and with everything that's gone on, I would have stopped fighting a long time ago, but you gave me reason to keep going. You gave me reason to get up every morning, to get dressed, to get to work even after being shot. You gave me reason to fight then, to stay alive, because I couldn't imagine a world without you.

I love you and trust you with every part of me, with ever fiber of my being. You mean everything to me Calleigh, and because of this, I WILL be back.

The purple box on top of this note, I've had it for about 6 months now, sitting in my sock drawer while I tried to work up the nerve to ask you. I didn't want to scare you off, didn't want it to hurt us and push us apart, so I waited, and maybe I waited a little too long.

You don't need to take it as a proposal if you don't want to, but take it as a promise, a promise that I'll be back, a promise that we're not over, that this isn't the end.

I love you Cal, you're my everything, and no one will take that away. See you soon.

-Eric