Incendiary Glances
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Is this a feeling of something
about to happen?
Like snapping out of something I didn't realize I was in.
Was I sleeping?
What?
How can you be so sure
if you've never been here before?
I don't understand,
it can't be that easy.
I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you.
I can't keep my hands off you.
I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you."
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Diary of Alicia J. Spinnet -x-
Thursday, October 18.
If anyone ever asked you what you thought of Alicia Spinnet, would you have some kind of substantial reply? Would you eagerly submit your answer with a smile, talking a mile a minute about wonderfully funny she is, how bright her smile is, how infectious her laughter is? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I, Alicia Jayne Spinnet, am a wallflower.
Sure, I have fun as much as the next girl, I have two best friends – Katie and Angelina – who are about as brilliant best friends as a girl could wish for, and I hang out with quite easily, the most awesome bunch of kids Hogwarts has ever seen… though off-the-wall crazy they may be.
But I'm still a wallflower… everything about me is either plain, boring or average.
Take my hair for instance: medium brown, of medium length… it's nothing like Angelina's ebony braids or Katie's gentle mahogany curls; not even in the same league as Fred and George's flame-red locks. And my grades are nothing special – an average Acceptable to Exceeds Expectations mark. My family life is even boring: my parents are still together and I'm the eldest of two – I have a younger brother Daniel, who starts at Hogwarts next year.
Even my name is boring!
Alicia Jayne Spinnet… Merlin, sometimes I wish I could've been born with at least a slightly unusual name, like Topaz or Sierra or Gertrude… on second thoughts, maybe not Gertrude.
Funny, isn't it, how even the boy I have a thing for is predictable…
George William Weasley, oh how I loathe thee.
Psht.
Okay, so I don't really loathe him, but it's not through lack of trying. This thing with George really has me thrown because I rarely fall for anyone this hard… Most "crushes" I have turn out to be unrequited and he's a Weasley twin for crying out loud! Ange and Katie argue that I would technically have a better chance than most considering that George and I are good friends and all, but I beg to differ. How could he possibly ever fall for me when he knows how boring and blah, normal I am?
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Thursday, October 18.
Fred and George Weasley.
Ever noticed that it's never written "George and Fred Weasley"? Yeah, I know it doesn't sound right, but still… even the way people say it annoys me, you know, it's always "Fred and George". The fact that people never mention me as a separate entity to my twin would be frustrating enough, but to always include me last is just cruelty.
Don't get me wrong, I love Fred - he's my best mate in the whole world - but every once in a while, a man has to be his own person, not one half of something. But I hardly ever get that chance… I'll always be a twin, no matter what happens to either of us, but I would also like to be a whole twin, not a half twin. But that's how people treat me, as if I can't do anything without him. And I hate it.
When I look back at how that's written I realise its extremely well, bitchy, but I've had a huge time trying to deal with it all lately, especially now I've realised that I kind of fancy Alicia.
Which is wrong.
Horribly, horribly, completely, totally and wholeheartedly wrong.
But it's not exactly like I can help it – I wish I could though, that would be bloody brilliant. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I knew she liked me in that way too or if I was good enough for her, but I'm not, so it's bad. Fred tried telling me today that she's got a thing for me but I brushed him off – what would he know about it? Fred, being the louder more extroverted soul that he is hardly ever has girl trouble, he's usually out there being all bold and brash and sweeping her off her feet before he can finish telling me what her surname is. Take today for instance, he told me he liked Angelina and then proceeded to invite her for a jog around the lake this afternoon to "keep their fitness up"… if I'd said that to her she's probably have thought I was making a crack at her about her weight or something!
Oh Merlin help me, I think I'm going to go insane… Alicia Jayne Spinnet, you are officially stuck in my poor, thick Weasley skull and I get the feeling you aren't going to leave it any time soon…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Diary of Alicia J. Spinnet -x-
Saturday, October 20.
Something strange is happening in the castle of dear Hogwarts… well maybe I just think it's strange on the account of my being the only person who isn't getting mercilessly snogged every five minutes.
Yeah, actually, I think that's it.
Well, technically I'm not the only one in our group not snogging someone else at the moment – George isn't either. We've actually been spending a bit of time together, though not really of our own accord, it's just that Angelina and Fred have been attached-at-the-lip ever since their recreational jog around the lake and Katie and Oliver have suddenly realised that the copious amounts of yelling they seem to be doing around each other is not anger but rather sexual tension… and they've been releasing that tension all over the common room for the better part of two days (and between you and me, they show little signs of stopping any time soon).
On the topic of my last entry (i.e. my complete and total lack of any type of interesting feature), I'm still convinced of it… Roger Davies actually walked straight into me yesterday in the charms corridor and didn't even notice that I was lying sprawled in a heap at his feet – not even when George called him a self-absorbed bastard! Haha, that was pretty funny actually… George doesn't like him much at all.
Ah, George… if only.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Sunday, October 21.
Bloody hell!
I am so sick of seeing snogging couples every where! It's like some kind of perverted epidemic! I went down to the Common Room to help Ginny with her charms homework and had nowhere to sit while I waited because my dear brother and Angelina were sprawled all over it with their tongues down each other's throats – not a pretty picture, let me tell you. And then, when I decided to take a brisk afternoon walk down to the lake and tell Gin to meet me there I stumbled upon Oliver and Katie one step short of jumping each other, underneath my favourite tree!
Argh!
I'm even more bloody pissed off now because Ginny decided to ask some bloke in her year to help her instead and so I'm stuck with nothing to do for the rest of the afternoon except avoid most of my friends and day-dream about my only other close friend. Alicia… oh damn, you should've seen her today when she left for a walk with that Leanne girl… she looked so good – her hair pulled back a bit off her face and in a pair of jeans and a nice light-blue shirt that matched her eyes. Stunning.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we were snogging about the place like Fred and Angelina… what would people say? We're the last two people in the world they'd expect to do that, because we're both pretty shy. It would be pretty funny I think – Fred wouldn't know what to do with himself, I might actually have some of the attention for a change. Not that it's ever going to happen, mind you, not only because Alicia doesn't like me in that way, but because it's just not something I think either of us would do.
Although, if she offered I damn well wouldn't say no…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Diary of Alicia J. Spinnet -x-
Friday, October 26.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
I hate George William Weasley.
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Saturday, October 27.
IDIOT! GEORGE WEASLEY YOU'RE A BLOODY IDIOT!
Okay… breathing… breathing… calming down…
So, I'm in a bit of trouble as you might have gathered – Alicia isn't talking to me and everyone's buzzing about how I'm apparently dating her friend Leanne…
I don't even know how this all started! Well, I do, but I don't understand how it escalated so quickly…
I ran Leanne in the library the yesterday and she asked to talk to me about Alicia, which I thought was a little odd, but nevertheless I agreed to walk with her back to the Common Room and then to her next class. So anyway, we were walking along and all of a sudden she says "you do realise that Alicia's head over heels in love with you don't you?"
Needless to say I burst into laughter – I was laughing so much it hurt actually. But all of a sudden I realised that she didn't seem to be laughing, so I stopped, and when I turned to look at her she wasn't even smiling, she was looking at me with this sad, pitying look in her eyes which made me feel really uncomfortable to say the least. So I shrugged and asked her what was wrong, but before she could say anything Alicia and Angelina called out to us and started coming towards us… and then she kissed me.
No, not Alicia, Leanne!
So anyway, in spite of everything else that was blazing around in my head at a million miles an hour, I kissed her back – stupidly – because even though she wasn't who I wanted to be kissing she was pretty damn good, and well, I'm a sixteen year-old guy who hasn't been snogged in a while… cut me some slack.
Next thing I know she's pulling away and as I'm sucking in oxygen as fast as possible I realise that Alicia's staring at us with this horrified, agonised expression and Angelina looks about ready to murder Leanne… and then it all sort of just turned to well, shit.
Angelina blew her stack and marched up to Leanne and started making a huge scene in front of the whole school and I was stuck with Alicia who was still standing where she'd been before Leanne kissed me, sort of frozen except for the tears and everything… and I didn't know what to say – I'm not the most eloquent bloke the world's ever seen so I tried to hug her, to make her feel better or whatever.
And then she began to yell at me.
Alicia Spinnet, the quiet one in our group, began to scream at me at a volume even Oliver would have been proud of… and what she said wasn't sweet and gentle like the things that normally come out of her mouth… what she said really hurt.
She was standing there bellowing at me, calling me a bastard and insensitive and that she hated me more than she'd ever hated anyone else in her life… and that she couldn't believe she'd ever been good friends with me and that I deserved to be the left-out twin because I obviously had no consideration for other people's feelings… and then she stormed off.
I am so confused.
Well, I think I'm starting to understand some things, but I really don't understand how or why I upset her… I mean, maybe she was upset because she thought I'd kept my apparent crush on Leanne from her or something, because we normally share things like that… or maybe she thought Leanne deserved better or something… I don't really know.
None of those guesses seem right and I actually don't get why she would be upset at all, but all I can seem to grasp is that I'm an idiot and I've done something horribly, horribly wrong…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Diary of Alicia J. Spinnet -x-
Saturday, October 27.
I can't believe she did it to me… she snogged him!
She actually snogged him!
Stupid, too pretty, tall and skinny, Leanne… argh.
Okay, so it's not all her fault, it's not like she knew I liked him or anything, but she could have picked it up, surely! Angelina and Katie did!
And George! By Merlin! He'd just finished snogging my friend and he tries to bloody hug me! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I hate him!
I do feel bad for what I said to him, thought… maybe I should just go and say so— no.
He deserved it.
I think.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Sunday, October 28.
I feel so utterly miserable.
Alicia still isn't talking to me… I still don't understand what I did wrong, but whatever I did it must've been bad because no amount of chocolate frogs, notes under her door or pleading for forgiveness have worked… I really miss her actually, not just because of my feelings for her but because I miss telling her things…
We've been a lot closer than I thought we were – how stupid am I? I was best-friends with someone without even realising it… idiot.
I've been spending my time with Leanne which really isn't helping the situation… I would stop but I feel bad for her, Angelina and Katie have stopped talking to her in protest of whatever we did to Alicia. Anyway, she says she wants to talk to me tonight about exactly why she kissed me, I'm supposed to meet her in the Common Room in five minutes actually…
I hope Alicia's there.
On second thoughts, maybe not… she might yell at me again.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Back of Alicia Spinnet's Transfiguration Essay -x-
Sunday, October 28.
I seem to have misplaced my diary… strange, it's always underneath my pillow and when I went to write in it just now it wasn't there… maybe I left it by the lake when I was there this afternoon? I hope not. I'll have to go and look after dinner.
But anyway…
Still not talking to either of them.
George keeps slipping notes under my door, begging for forgiveness… well, he's actually been getting Leanne to slip them under the door, seeing as how he can't walk up the staircase to do it. I wish he'd stop, I don't want to talk to him, let alone read pages upon pages of profuse apologies for something he doesn't even realise he's done.
Oh great, there he goes again. I should just open the door and blast Leanne, and then maybe she'll stop being his little messenger owl. Argh.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Sunday, October 28.
Oh.
My.
God.
I understand now…
And – oh bloody hell, there's no way that it can be true… but it's there! It's written in her handwriting and in her words… and, oh Merlin, I've been the biggest idiot ever!
"How could he possibly ever fall for me when he knows how boring and blah, normal I am?"
If only she knew just how far from boring she really is… If only I could tell her…
Wait.
That's it.
I need to find Leanne…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Back of Alicia Spinnet's Transfiguration Essay -x-
Sunday, October 28.
That's strange… I could swear I just saw George sitting downstairs talking to Leanne with my diary in his hands… but that couldn't be right, because if I did indeed just see George with my diary in his hands then he would know that I like him and that –
Oh.
My.
God.
I need to find and kill Leanne…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The Journal of George W. Weasley
Monday, October 29.
Looking back at past journal entries, I have decided that in the space of a week, I have matured and grown significantly as a person. Not only have I managed to realise that I do deserve to be happy and that I am a good guy, but I have also managed to acquire the girl of my dreams...
The "perverted epidemic" of previous entries has decided to attack both myself and the ever beautiful Alicia Spinnet, and now not only can Angelina and Fred, and Katie and Oliver be found snogging around the place, but also Alicia and myself.
And I can cheerfully say that apparently it is in our nature to display our affection for each other publicly. And you know, I think it's because we spent so much of our time convinced that we weren't good enough for each other… if we'd gone into this convinced that we were each other's perfect match then I don't think we'd have that intense gratefulness for what we've found in each other.
And I don't care if that sounds cheesy… I am the happiest man on this bloody planet!
And Merlin bless you, Leanne!
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
-x- The Diary of Alicia J. Spinnet -x-
Tuesday, October 30.
Alicia Jayne Weasley.
Well doesn't that just sound amazing? One day that's going to be me, I just know it, and quite honestly, I don't care if you think it's boring… because to me, it's the most wonderful sounding name in the world.
Leanne explained everything, by the way…
Apparently she thought that if she could find some way to make me jealous or make me react in a way that wasn't like me, then maybe George would realise how much I liked him… it didn't quite work, but in the end, she managed it…
She gave George this diary and told him to figure out what exactly he'd done to me, and when he realised he got Leanne to drag me out of my dormitory and into the Common Room where he abducted me and took me to our favourite spot near the lake… and apologised.
And told me that I've never been boring or average to him.
And kissed me.
And kissed me some more.
Haha, I think that strange snogging epidemic is catching…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A/N: Title from the song "Must Be Dreaming" by Frou Frou.
Top lyrics from the song "Close Up" also by Frou Frou.
Disclaimer: haven't done one of these in a while, lol. I don't own the characters, nor do I own the universe or even the lyrics. I don't even own the diary idea because that has been done countless times before. It's not looking good for my hope that this wasn't too clichéd, is it?
Okay, so i know this was extremely cliched, but i thought it was sweet... i was listening to Frou Frou and honestly, her music just FITS this 'ship. love it. if you want you should really download those two songs above as well as "Let Go" and "Speeding Cars" (which she sings under the name Imogen Heap).
Oh, and this is dedicated to anyone who's reviewed my fics in the last couple of weeks - sorry i haven't replied.
love love. x