(Kenny's POV)
It all started about… hmm, a second or two ago. I was walking down the South Park Middle School hallway, minding my business, when all of a sudden, I heard a locker door slam. Not close, but slam shut rather forcefully.
"WHAT?!" Ah yes, the unmistakable shriek of an angry fatass. How refreshing to hear at eight in the morning.
"Y-yeah, Bebe asked Kyle out a little while ago." I heard Butters say. Oh, God. No wonder Cartman had his panties in a twist. I swear for God we just didn't get a break…
"Alright, alright, what's going on?" I walked up and asked.
"T-T-The JEW is dating Bebe!" Cartman was so pissed off he could barely get the words out.
I stared back at him. "…so…?" I personally couldn't see what the big deal was.
"HE CAN'T DATE HER!" he yelped as if it were 100 percent obvious.
"Well, why not, Eric?" Butters inquired.
Cartman gawked at us as if we were mentally inept. "B-because he can't!"
"You literally hate Kyle with every bone in your overweight body."
He stopped mid hissy-fit and glared at me. "W-well, I-"
"Y-yeah, Eric, I think it's real sweet that Kyle has a girlfriend."
"UGH" He banged his fists on the locker in frustration. "Yew don't understand! None of yew guys understand!" He scooped up his backpack and books and stomped off, infuriated. Butters scampered off behind him. "Aw, Eric, you left dents in your locker!"
At first, I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. Then it hit me like an 18-wheeler (and trust me, I'd know how that feels). Fatass was so pissed off because he was jealous. There was one of two possibilities; he either wanted Bebe, or he wanted Kyle. And thinking back to all his antics dating back to 3rd and 4th grade, I had a pretty good idea on who it was.
While no one could see through my hoodie, I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Looks like things were about to get interesting…