This is an HP/SOUE cross-over. As always, I don't own any characters from either series.
The Baudelaire Who Lived
Mr. and Mrs. Poe of number thirteen Lenore Drive were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last persons you would connect with mysteries and magic, because they didn't hold with such nonsense.
Mr. Poe worked at bank by the name of Mulctuary Money Management. He was a large, self-important man with a constant cough. Mrs. Poe was a nondescript woman who only knew how to cook boiled food and who doted on her two spoiled sons, Edgar and Albert.
Mr. Poe normally spent his days happily engaged in rapid-fire telephone conversations, but today was different. In the middle of the morning he looked out of his office window and was startled to see four brightly-cloaked figures shouting and cavorting in the street.
"They must be circus clowns," Poe thought. "I must see if I can get tickets for Albert and Edgar."
But before he could place a call to inquire about tickets, there was a rattle from his telegraph machine and a telegram spit out: "BAUDELAIRE HOME BURNED STOP. PARENTS DEAD STOP. COLLECT CHILDREN AT ONCE FROM BRINY BEACH STOP."
The two eldest of the three unfortunate Baudelaire children were indeed at Briny Beach at that moment. Before you read on, I must warn you that you would do far better to read a happier tale than to read of their misadventures.
Violet Baudelaire, sixteen, was skipping stones into the misty ocean, pondering how she could create an invention to bring the stones back automatically after she skipped them. Klaus Baudelaire, a little older than twelve, was cataloging the flora and fauna (a phrase which here means "plant and animals") which he found in the tidal pools.
"It's not as much fun without Sunny," said Klaus. "I've found several seashells I'm sure she'd enjoy biting."
Their baby sister Sunny was an excellent biter, as good at biting as Violet was at inventing and Klaus was at research.
"I don't understand why Mother and Father didn't let us take her with us today," said Violet. "They've been quite overprotective since we moved to our new mansion last week."
"They claimed Sunny had a fever, but I don't think she really did," said Klaus. "Something strange is going on."
Their speculations were interrupted by a coughing sound from the fog as Mr. Poe approached.
"It's a nice day, Mr. Poe," said Violet politely.
"Yes," said Mr. Poe with a sad cough. "I have some bad news for you, children. Your home has burned down and your parents are dead."
The children stared at him in shocked disbelief.
"B-but what about Sunny?" Violet finally asked. "She was at home, too!"
"My telegram didn't say anything about her," said Poe.
"I don't believe that telegram," said Klaus. "We have to go and see for ourselves."
"Very well, we'll go in my car," said Poe. "But you'll have to tell me how to get there. Your parents moved recently and nobody seems to know their new address."
For a moment Klaus and Violet struggled to speak. Although they had both memorized the address on pieces of paper their parents had given them, they had trouble getting the words out. Finally, it was as if something released their tongues to speak a secret that it was no longer any use to keep.
"G-Godric Hollow," said Klaus.
"Number 1224 Godrick Hollow," said Violet.
When they arrived there, Poe said, "I will wait in the car. Breathing in ashes and smoke would be bad for my cough."
It was a terrible sight. The library books, with which Klaus had spent many happy hours, were burned to nothing. They found Violet's microscope fused by the heat. Worst of all, there was no sign of Sunny.
"Sunny! Sunny!" Violet called in despair.
A white-bearded old gentleman stepped from behind a ruined wall, carrying a large covered basket. "Ah, there you are. I was expecting you."
"Who are you?" Klaus asked.
"Never mind that now," said the man. "The important thing is that your sister lives. Here, take good care of her. As long as she makes her home with you, her blood relatives, she will be safe."
He handed the basket to Violet. She tore back the covers and there was Sunny!
"Sunny! You're alive!" Klaus shouted.
"This is wonderful," said Violet, "But who...how..", she looked up to ask the man more questions, but there was nobody there.
"You're not even scratched, Sunny" said Klaus.
"Voldie," said Sunny, which meant, "Well, there is a little tiny scratch."
She pointed to her forehead, which had a fresh scar in the shape of a lightening bolt.