AN- This is my first Grey's Anatomy fic, so bear with me as I try to figure out being in character. Very spoiler heavy for all seasons (I think) talks about multiple major character deaths. So yeah. Reviews make me happy. To clear up why I want reviews, as it may be unclear, it is so I can improve my writing, not "self validation"
-A
"There was a terrible crash. There was a terrible crash!"
-Build God Then We'll Talk by Panic! At The Disco
"Lila? Lila? Mommy, why isn't she awake yet?" A tiny voice said. Delilah Grey began to panic, trying to wake up.
"Delilah? Can you hear me?" An unfamiliar voice said. She moved her hand, searching for someone. Someone slipped a hand into hers, and she relaxed slightly.
"Take Zo out please." A voice whispered. There was a murmur of agreement. "Li? It's Meredith. Can you hear me?" Lila squeezed her hand.
"Oh thank you. Oh thank you." Meredith said, voice shaking, but she wasn't crying. Lila's eyelids fluttered, and she opened her eye.
"Mer?" She whispered hoarsely. "Where's Derek?" She whispered, voice trembling. Meredith caught her breath.
"He… he…" she whispered, voice shaking. Tears began to roll down Lila's face.
"No. No. Nonononono. Please no." Lila whispered, beginning to cry. Derek was dead. They were going home, they had saved people, and now he was dead. She struggled to remember exactly what happened. The phone was ringing, he was reaching for it, she had just put her earbuds in. Then as they were turning around, a truck came around the bend. She remembered someone screaming. She was screaming. Then there was a crash, a crunch of metal hitting metal, and then nothing. She began to sob. "It came out of nowhere. He was answering the phone, and it hit us. I was screaming, he was quiet." She said, shaking. She closed her eyes, and it came rushing back.
Four Days Previously
It was white. She saw white. It was cold. She wasn't in pain. There was something pinning her to the seat.
"Derek." She said. He was next to her, bleeding, and eyes huge. She raised a hand, and touched his. "Derek. Derek." She said, voice rising. "DEREK!" She yelled, voice rough. "DEREK!" She screamed. His breathing accelerated.
"Llluuh." He tried, hand twitching against hers. Lila kept shaking.
"It's okay. We're going to be fine. We'll be okay." She said, pressing a hand to her head, and then taking it away, it was covered in blood. She looked down, and began to hyperventilate. Her leg was bent at a wrong angle, there was bone exposed. "I can't feel any pain. Nothing. None." She said, voice high pitched. Derek's eyes moved, unable to help. "We need help." She said. Sirens were getting closer, and soon brakes screeched. "Oh man, what a wreck." Someone said. Lila began to tap the roof. "Help. Help us." She said. People began to move, and a face appeared in the window.
"Hey there. Can you tell me your name?" It asked. It was upside down. "Um. Ah. Lila. Delilah." She whispered, voice filled with tears.
"Hey there Delilah." He said. She had heard it so many times, but she still smiled slightly. "Hi. Help me. My brother is in here too, he can't talk, he's got a head injury, the steering wheel is pressed into his chest. I've got an open fracture on my left leg. My wrist is broken, and I have a head wound, only superficial I think. Pretty sure my ribs are messed up." She said.
"Alright kid. We're working to get you out. How do you know what your injuries are?" The voice asked.
"Triage. I needed to find out." She said, shaking.
"Tell me how you knew to do that." He said.
"All my family members are surgeons. My mother was. My sister is, everyone. You don't panic. You have to stay calm." She said. The face smiled.
"That's right. You're doing really well." He said. There was a crunch. "Alright. We can get you out now. It's going to hurt a lot." He said. He reached in, and removed her carefully, cutting the seat belt. Lila began to scream, she was in agony.
"Lila. Lila, it's okay. Don't move."
He said. She caught one last glimpse of the car, and managed to shout. "Derek. I love you. We'll be okay." She yelled, before blacking out.
Present Time-
"Mer. He's dead. He's dead." She whimpered.
"I know. I know." Meredith replied, face blank. Lila couldn't meet her eyes. "Where's Amelia?" She asked.
"No one knows yet." Meredith replied. Lila blinked.
"It's been days, You haven't gone back yet?" She asked softly.
"I stayed with you." She said.
"You need to tell them." She whispered. Meredith nodded.
"I know." She said. Zola's little face pressed against the window.
"Can I see her? PLease?" SHe asked, smiling at the little girl, who beamed back. Meredith noded, and stood up to bring her in.
"Zola You want to come see Lila sweetie?" She said. Zola nodded, smiling, and rushed in.
"Li-li?" SHe whispered, on tiptoes, peering over the side of the bed.
"Zo!" Lila said, real happiness in her voice. Meredith lifted her up, and Zola cuddled next to her.
"You were sleeping for ages." The little girl said.
" I know. Won't happen again." She said, a small smile appearing.
"Daddy isn't gonna wake up." Zola said, a shadow falling over her face. "Mommy says he'll keep seeping forever. But you won't. You woke up!" She said. Lila blinked back tears.
"That's right Zo. I'm going to stay awake." She said, sniffling slightly.
She had been released, and was standing in her room at Meredith and Derek's house, looking outside. The service had been nice, he wouldn't have liked it though. She was still in her black dress, cardigan over it. She stared outside, watching the cars pull into the driveway. It was an after-service "celebration of life" It was a goddam party. Except not as happy. At all.
"DELILAH! Get down here!" Someone called.
"Don't want to." She argued back. Footsteps came up the stairs.
"Delilah." A stern, familiar voice said. She sat down on the window seat.
"What Bailey?" She asked.
"You can't hide up here." Bailey said, coming in.
"Why? I don't want to be down there. Arizona can't stop crying, and no one will leave me alone." She said.
"Because Meredith, and Zola, and Baby Bailey, and Amelia need you there." She said, sitting next to her. "And Arizona cries all the time. Now she's crying because she lost a close friend." Bailey said gently, resting an arm around her. Lila looked at her miserably.
"I lost my brother. He's dead." She said, blinking rapidly, trying to stop the tears she knew would come. She turned into Bailey's arms, shaking.
"This isn't gonna be okay. Meredith isn't gonna be okay. He was the one who first accepted me and loved me when I found her. I can't do it." She said, sobbing. Bailey rubbed her back, and hugged her.
"Oh Lila, I know. I know. But it will be okay. Just like when Lexie and Mark died. We made it. We got through it." Lila nodded, and pulled away.
" I need to go down there." She said, wiping her face, and standing up. Without another word, she turned and walked out the door, and down the stairs, numb to most of what was happening as she descended into the living room. People murmured to her, and occasionally hugged her, but she just kept moving. She saw Meredith on the couch, and started to head over when Bailey began to squall. She blinked, and turned back to where he was, he was standing in his porta crib, crying. She walked over, and scooped him up.
"Hey there Bailey. Don't cry. It's okay." She murmured, rocking the one year old. He calmed, and looked around with big eyes.
"Mama?" He said. "She's right over there." Lila soothed, and carried him over to Meredith. "Mer?" She asked quietly.
"Baby Bailey wants you." She said, baby slung over her hip as she watched Meredith. Meredith kept staring forward. She finally looked up.
"Give him to me." She said, and Lila set him down in her arms. Meredith held him, and he sat quietly. Lila watched for a moment before sitting beside her. Meredith wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, and Lila rested her head on her shoulder.
"No matter what happens, remember I love you." Meredith said. "No matter what happens." Lila swallowed.
"Same here." She said, a sense of dread falling over her. They sat in silence as the people moved around them, murmuring and mourning. They were almost in a corner of the world, oblivious to the outside. Derek was dead. Nothing was the same. Everything would change.