SPECIAL SUNDAY

The sweet and fruity scent that still lingers in the room somehow made me smile and immediately tears quickly rushed out from my eyes. As I gazed around the room, somehow I was able to see a ghost like figure that still moves around in a slow yet very detailed manner. Instantly, memories started rushing back as if it was only yesterday.

"Mama, what are you doing?" I asked as I entered her room and sat down on her bed. She was somehow writing down things in a list of paper.

She then looked back at me and smiled. "Oh, it's just a list of things I need to do. You know, you should also list down things so you won't forget anything important that you need to do."

I laughed. "Why do I need to list down things when I got you with me? You can always remind me right?" I said sweetly.

In a brief instance, somehow I noticed my mother's face suddenly became dim. But right after that, she smiled again and nodded. "Yes, I guess so. But you should always look out for yourself as well. You might never know, maybe there will come a time that I won't be beside you anymore."

She then slowly moved to where I was sitting and lovingly embraced me. I don't know why but that exact moment. I felt a strange and frightening chill.

"You're already turning 16, Ellie. You also have a small sister to take care of. Lena needs the guidance of a big sister. So you should learn how to be more organized and responsible. When I am not around, you will be the one to take my place. You should always remember that okay," my mother said with a warm and sweet voice. Then she quickly stroked my hair in the usual manner that she always does when she's trying to calm me down or make me feel better.

Again I felt strange. "Why are you being so strange today Mama? Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

She shook her head and caressed my face. "No, nothing's wrong. I am just being melodramatic today I guess," she answered with a light laugh.

A week passed, and we were all busy with different things. My father was busy with work, while my sister and I were both busy with school. As for my mother, she was just at home, busy doing housework and trying to find different kinds of jobs wherein she could earn some extra money that she usually spends on buying delicious foods and all the stuffs that my sister and I always tell her to buy for us.

She tried to work but somehow she wasn't lucky with any kind of work that she finds. She always resigns after a week or so. She always says that she was having problems with the people she was working with and that the work is too hard for her. There were times that I would think she was just lying. Somehow I was thinking that she didn't really want to work at all. So after just a week or two of being on a well off situation, our family is suddenly stuck back into the same financial problem that we had before.

We were always on a tight budget. Somehow I was getting tired of it, and so was my father. So he kept on nagging my mother to look for a job so she could also help out on our daily expenses. My mother tried but like always she just quits after a few weeks of working. Somehow this was too disappointing for me, but I never had the nerve to voice it out. But my father was too vocal about everything. So right after my mother loses her job, they always both end up fighting, which in turn makes my mother end up in a crying mode for days.

I really pitied my mother. But there was a part of me that was saying it was also her fault anyway. If she only tried to bear with her current job situation, maybe my father wouldn't get mad and they wouldn't need to argue so much.

During that week, my mother was very quiet. She just quit from another job after only working for a week. My father was mad as hell. I was also starting to get irritated with her. It was like she was being lazy or something. My father hasn't gone home for 3 days. I knew it was the reason why my mother was being quiet.

I wanted to talk to her. But somehow I didn't know what to say. I was also very disappointed with her.

The deafening silence and the saddening atmosphere continued for another week. My father finally decided to go home after 4 days of staying at his office. But he still didn't talk to my mother. And in turn, my mother didn't even try to talk to him either. It was like we were in a no talk zone, even my sister was quiet and just walked around the house as if she was a ghost.

It was Saturday evening when everything changed….

I arrived at around 6pm. My mother had gone out to look for another job again. Again I sighed, I knew it was going to be a very bad Sunday again. My mother didn't have an extra job so that means we were on a tight budget again, so no special Sunday. And to top it all, my father was still giving my mother the silent treatment so I was totally sure that everything was going to be bad the next day.

Time passed… It was already 10pm.

My father and my sister already arrived except for my mother. We waited until it was already 11pm. It was then my father decided to call my mother's phone. It just kept on ringing but no one answered. We were already panicking. We knew something was wrong. My little sister was already crying. And my father was already calling all of our relatives and even their friends just to check if they had seen my mother by any chance.

But hours passed, and still there was no news about my mother. All of us just waited and waited, until we all fell asleep in the living room.

It was already 8 in the morning, when my father's phone started to ring. He quickly answered it, thinking it was my mother on the line. Just a few minutes passed, and my father had already dropped to his knees and had started crying.

"What's wrong? Where's Mama? Where's Mama?" both my sister and I kept asking.

Our father kept on crying out loud. Then he quickly took us into his arms and embraced us tightly.

"Your mother is…gone. She… she died last night," my father tried to utter in between sobs.

I felt like I was in a dream. Tears immediately swelled up in my eyes and I started to cry out loud as well. My sister was already shouting and calling out our mother's name. The three of us cried continuously… The special Sundays we always had were going to be just memories from now on… A special part of it was already gone…

It was right after when my mother died that we finally learned the real reason why she always quits her jobs. She had been sick for more than a year already and was just too afraid to let us know. She didn't want us to worry about her and she certainly didn't want us to spend our remaining money in trying to save her. She already had gone to different doctors and the result was still the same. She had breast cancer. And she was already in the terminal stage. She tried to just bear with the pain and tried very hard to keep everything a secret. She didn't want to burden us with her sickness. And she was already trying to spend the remaining strength and time that she had on trying to make all of us happy.

"Ellie, let's go…" Lena said as she gently touched my hand. "We're leaving…"

We were going to bring my mother to her final resting place that day.

And as I gave my mother's room one last look, I couldn't help stop myself from crying. Then I remembered a quote I read in a book.

"People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die."

Yes, my mother was gone but her memory will always stay with me. Whenever Sunday comes, I will always remember the special meals, special gifts, special trips we all made together. I know I was going to miss her forever. But I will always make sure to remember everything she said and everything she taught me…

I will always remember you, Mama. I love you.