'Ignorant, oblivious, slow' that's what they use to describe me when it comes to things like emotions or body signals. And they would be right, it took me an entire year and a half to find out that a colt I went to school with liked me, and that was only after Fluttershy told me about it. They are right to call me slow minded; I guess all my speed went to my wings instead. I guess they are also right when they say I lack some emotion, I'm not that romantically involved with anything. I know what the difference is between like and love is, for example, I like staying inside reading my Daring Doo books that I stole from Twilight, but I love soaring through the sky with the wind thorough my rainbow colored mane. However if it ever came to emotions romantically linked to a pony, I would be the last to know.
So apparently Spike had a major crush on Rarity, who knew? Well apparently everyone did, even Rarity. And this wasn't your typical 'I think your cute and kind of like you' crush, it was the hardcore 'you are so beautiful I love you so much' crush. Twilight knew first with her super egghead intelligence, followed by the animal-understanding Fluttershy. Applejack and Rarity found out along the way somehow, but Pinkie Pie!? Even Pinkie Pie found out before me, how did Pinkie Pie know when I didn't? He must have told her there is no way….
Anyways I'm getting off topic; the point is I found out last, like way last, about a year later. That's when they started calling me slow. It wasn't to be mean, they were just teasing me, or they were trying to be nice about my utter stupidity. Well it doesn't matter because it's true, I am blatantly stupid when it comes to love, body language, or just emotions in general.
If they could only see what kind of hypocrites they are.
I guess it's my ignorance that keeps me from expressing emotion, I don't know. I do know it's my stubbornness that keeps me from telling anyone and it's her stupidity that makes me so angry. She's so amazing the way cares for everything, the way she can tame any animal by the sound of her soothing voice or with the fierceness in her eyes, the way her hair falls to the side of her face so perfectly. She can't even see the way I feel for her is driving me insane. And she's not helping when she clings onto me whenever she's frightened by the slightest thing (which happens a lot), or when she needs me to carry her down when her wings get too tired from flying. Whenever I can feel her warm breath or soft body brush up against mind accidentally, it doesn't help.
Yes, I love Fluttershy, there I said it. I have for some time now; it must have started when we were fillies. I wouldn't have known my feelings for her back then, I just knew I felt something different around her, completely oblivious to the fact I was developing a crush. In fact I am so slow that it took me until I began reading some of Twilight's romantic containing books that I finally understood my feelings.
I never showed my feeling for her around ponies; I never blushed, looked awkwardly, or mentioned anything that crossed the lines of friendship. Around her we were a just friends; that's what it felt like and that's what I acted like. I wasn't till I was alone in my bed when I long for her to be underneath my compassion embrace cuddled close together inhaling each other's breaths.
My friends can call me oblivious to emotion all they want, but they will never know my true feelings. And I will never tell them.