Merli refused to cry. If she tripped over or cut her hand, she would put on a smile and fix her injury herself. If she broke up with someone, she would simply find a new person to be close to. And if someone died, she would keep a stone-cold expression, even as the corpse was lowered into a hole. That was all that a funeral was to her. A corpse being lowered into a hole. Well, that was what she claimed.
Things were slightly different when her sister died. She still did not cry, of course, but she was closer to bursting into tears than ever before. She had already given her speech and now Lapis' body was being buried.
The day was bright and clear, as if the gods had a putrid sense of irony. The awakening of spring was upon Japan. Cherry blossom petals swirled around in the wind like feathers pulled out of a pillow. There was a single cloud in the sky. Merli noticed that the cloud appeared to have a demonic face.
As the event ended and a few close family members remained to pay their respects, Merli turned around and walked to the tall charcoal gate. Leaning against the crimson brick fence supporting the gate was a person Merli would rather not see at that moment.
"You've got some nerve coming here, Cul," Merli said to the red-haired, red-eyed girl.
"I know," Cul replied in an uncharacteristically soft voice, looking down at the ground as if she was scared that she was going to be dragged down to hell. "I just… I have to see Lapis. I have to say goodbye."
"Well, I'm sure she'd be glad to see someone who's friends with her killer. Oh wait- she can't see because she's dead! Isn't that funny? I'm sure you think that's hilarious! Why don't you go ahead and snicker with all your friends? Or how about you… are you okay?"
Like broken dams, Cul's eyes released a flood of tears. She covered her face as she cried. Merli walked up to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I went too far. Lapis always liked you, so it makes sense that you're here."
"I… I never got to… I never got to tell her!"
Merli raised an eyebrow. "Tell her what? Is there some gang secret she had to know about? I don't know how she managed to fit in with you lot. She was always so innocent."
Cul's sobs became louder. "I never got to tell her how much I love her!" Cul wiped her wet cheeks and looked up at Merli. "She never knew… how much I care about her. She was the world to me and… she never knew! And now I feel like a drama character spouting clichés. I'm so pathetic."
Merli took a step back. "You're not pathetic. Lapis felt that way towards you too. I have no idea why, to be honest. I told her to stay away from the Redbacks, but she was still so dedicated to you. She promised me that she would not see you again, but next thing I know, she's smuggling drugs for you! Who gave you the right to treat my sister that way? If you really loved her, you should have left her alone. The Aoki family and the Redbacks should never be friends."
"What about you and Yohioloid?"
Merli glared at Cul. "Excuse me?" she said slowly, her words clipped and her fists tighter than a rope tied to a sail. "Say that again."
"You and Yohioloid were pretty close." Cul walked through the gates and looked both ways. "In fact, I think I saw him close by before. You should talk to him."
Merli searched the graveyard for a man with messy blonde hair, pale white skin and startlingly red eyes. She eventually found Yohioloid standing in the shade of a tree. Merli thanked Cul, albeit reluctantly, and walked up to her old crush.
"I had no idea it was okay for murderers to turn up to their victims' funeral," Merli said, her voice dripping in condescension, which was inappropriate considering Yohioloid's intelligence. "Do you plan on digging up Lapis' grave and conducting experiments on her? You're a criminal, so you should be used to doing that."
"I didn't kill her," Yohioloid responded in a smooth voice that would have caused Merli to melt in the past. "This may be hard to believe, but I don't kill people. That's Mayu's habit, not mine. The experiments I conducted years back were perfectly legal."
"If you had a job like that, why are you working under a gang? Do you need a thrill to make your life meaningful or something? How stupid."
Yohioloid leaned in closer while clenching his fists but he kept a calm face. "Do you always have to act like such a…? I'm sorry. I shouldn't insult you. After all, you used to be so kind to me."
Merli looked at Yohioloid with wide eyes. "That was before I knew about your affiliation. You didn't answer my question, asshole." When she said the last word, she internally flinched, but she refused to show her guilt.
"I lost the job," Yohioloid explained. "I had no idea what to do afterwards, so a friend of mine offered me a job. I had no idea whom I was working for at first but soon enough I got sucked in. Happy now?"
"If you didn't kill Lapis, who did? How could you get sucked into such a dangerous group? Do you have any idea how much the Redbacks have ruined my family? Huh? I would say that you don't care, but you're at her funeral, so… why is Lapis gone?"
Merli fell to her knees and cried. Yohioloid stared at her helplessly before going down onto his own knees and wrapping his arms around her slender shoulders. He hugged her tight, letting her tears fall on his strong shoulders.
Merli looked up at Yohioloid. "What am I supposed to do now that she's gone? And why am I crying? I never cry at funerals! Is my love for Lapis stronger than it was for other people who've died? What's wrong with me? What about when my mother died? Did I not love her enough?"
"Maybe all those deaths led up to this one. Maybe all your bottled-up tears were building up until you just had to release them today."
"Thanks, Genius. Now who killed Lapis?"
"It was… Mayu... I'm sorry…" Cold tears tumbled downYohioloid's face like snowballs rolling down a hill. "I was there, but… I didn't stop her. She said that Lapis was ruiningCul's loyalty to her. I was so horrified that I just stood there, frozen. I should have done something. I'm so sorry."
Merli gently patted Yohioloid's back. "Look, now you're crying too! I'm... I'm sorry too, for getting angry at you."
"It's okay. I deserve it for being in that stupid gang! I don't even want to be in it anymore. Last night I decided that I'm leaving it. I'm going to find a new job and maybe you'll love me then." Yohioloid's cheeks turned red. "I-I didn't mean it. I was just… okay, it's true."
Merli held Yohioloid closer as if he was the only person left in the world. She looked at the sky, finding comfort in the fact that the demonic-appearing cloud was gone. Several petals fell on Yohioloid's head, making Merli giggle.
"So you want me to love you?" Merli asked. Yohioloidreluctantly nodded. Merli brushed Yohioloid's lips with her thumb before kissing him, warmth spreading throughout both bodies. Merli stood up, moving her arms randomly and frantically. "What am I doing? Lapis would hate to know this!"
"I guess you're right. I should go now." Yohioloid stood up and began walking towards the gate. Merli grabbed Yohioloid's arm and shook her head.
"No. Now that I think about it, it's my life and I'll decide whom I kiss. And besides, you didn't kill her, so there's no harm in me going out with you."
"You want me to go out with you?"
Merli nodded her head and kissed Yohioloid again. The two travelled to Lapis' grave to say one final goodbye before walking through the gates, hand in hand.