Strangely Attracted

Chapter One: Crying Realization

Lily was sitting stiffly, her mouth in a think line. A cup of tea was carefully being drained. Her enchanting green eyes were staring off in space lost in her thoughts. They were vacant busy were her internal monologue,

Then with a flash of green fire, she threw the empty tea cup down on the floor, wincing as the shards flew up.

Covering her face with her hands, feeling the cool metal of her wedding ring press into her cheek, she let out a shuddering breath.

She shouldn't be feeling this way. It was wrong and he just wasn't her type. Of course that what was she had said about James, but here she was married to him. And pregnant.

This situation was totally fucked up.

She, Lily Potter, was attracted to Remus Lupin.

She felt that she was in some kind of sitcom, obviously twisted, demented and darkly mad, this wasn't life. It was script. This really didn't happen to people did it? This only happened in movies… She couldn't possibly feel for Remus could she?

She was witch, an inner voice drawled snidely. Of course it was possible. How else could she be here right now? But… it made no sense, right? She was in love with James! Not Remus…

It just wasn't possible.

And yet it was.

Love? Oh dear Lord…

She didn't know how it had started, just that she felt those types of feelings for him. Feelings that made her curse and rage. That made her feel overwhelmingly guilty and ashamed…

Why did she shiver when he touched her arm, when he was only being friendly and not romantic in any sense? Why did she want him to kiss her, trailing soft kisses down her neck? Why when his eyes were pained, trapped in his own misery, did she feel the pressuring need to help him, to embrace him and end all of his worries? Why did she want to punch the people who were so prejudiced against him? Why…?

There was an answer, but to admit it was to open many dangerous doors. She wasn't brace enough to challenge her mind, and face up to her feelings.

Maybe it was for the best.

But why then, did this huge weight seem to be pressing into her?

Sighing, she curled up on the sofa and started crying, soft sobs that vibrated around the room. Body shaking, she wrapped her arms around herself, fingernails digging through her shirt and into her arms.

It was all so hopeless. What could she do? Remus was one of James' best friends, and she his wife. They were friends… but he wouldn't betray James like that.

She was alone. No one knew about her… attraction, no one could know! She couldn't tell any one, for fear of reprisal and that James… that he would find out.

And the baby… she placed one of her slightly swelled stomach, and smiled weakly through her tears. Her baby, would need a father. And James so wanted a child. She couldn't leave; there wouldn't be anything to go to.

James would never know… she would make sure of that, she wouldn't tell a soul about her feelings for Remus. She couldn't…

Sighing in defeat she lay back, cuddling a cushion, like a baby. Staring blanking up at the ceiling. Her face was tear streaked, silvery tracts brought up by moonlight shining through the open window. Shutting her eyes in pain, Lily covered her mouth and groaned in grief. Tears once again falling…

She didn't know how to stop these feelings, and deep inside her she secretly didn't. She was alone and weeping, and there was no hope for her.

This was how Remus found her.

Forlorn and desolate.

Remus was so excited that he didn't bother to knock at he barged through the door, grinning happily, ready to burst with delight.

The door slammed backwards, but didn't make a sound. Lily had learned well from from the past and had insisted on silencing charms so that door could not, much to James' horror, make a loud noise.

The sight that greeted him, defied his demeanor and he felt the smile drop away from his face, as he gazed on one of his best friends' wife.

Lily was crying.

Like many men, Remus felt insecure and unsure when he saw a woman crying, so he stood there, awkwardly in the middle of the doorway. Shuffling his feet, he turned away, unable to bear looking at her sadness… Yet he couldn't stop his eyes from coming back to her sobbing form. He just couldn't. Lily often made him feel so helpless… All the while she makes him more sure of himself.

It was something strange certainly. He couldn't stand to look at her bereavement, yet to draw away was to betray her somehow.

So he just stood there, finger twitching from the desire to comfort her, while he leaned away from the scene.

She gasped, a shaky hoarse sound, sniffling. Lily wiped one hand across her eyes and opened them. Jerking up into a sitting position, her mouth wide open, jaw hanging openly. She gazed at Remus with shock.

He for one didn't know how to act. She was obviously in some kind of emotional pain, but he… He didn't know how to help her.

Opening her mouth a couple of time, trying to say something, anything. Lily took a deep breath and spoke, "H-hello Remus." Her voice was shaky and husky from what he assumed were tears. She brought her emerald eyes to him, and he was caught in her powerful if vulnerable eyes.

Lily had always been special, you just could tell. She had always been kind to people, there for people… most people. She has been there for him when anti-werewolf hysteria had hit the ceiling, and had not flinched when the accusations had been leveled as her. Lily had never looked away.

And her eyes… they were never horrified.

She simply took his breath away.

AN: no idea where this came from shrugs hope you find it interesting. Oh and this isn't meant to be taken seriously. There will be more than likely more chapters for this, probably only one through, but then again, who knows?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… surprised?