So this is what you get when you have a person trying to look for depressive anti-Duncan fan fiction but can't really find any so they make one themselves and they're also listening to "Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem (feat. Rihanna). Well I'm no writer, I hardly write for that matter, trust me it's very VERY rare for me to write something willingly. It's even rarer that I actually finish it….Well this is most likely going to be the only story I post on here, eh who knows, maybe I might actually write another one but trust me that's not going to happen anytime soon…. Anyways, there are probably a lot of typos on here and some stuff that doesn't sound right but hey this is my first fan fiction so keep that in mind!

With that being said enjoy….=.=;;

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Total Drama, if I did Courtney would win, Gwen, Heather, and Sierra would go poof and I would be the queen of the world….some day….hehe

~~~~~Lies are like drugs~~~~

Lies are like drugs; they make you feel great in the beginning but leave you with a regretful and scornful aftermath…some go as far as to death…

At least that's what I was told…it's funny how you really don't think about these things until something bad happens to make you think different.

Like right now…

He's mad again…he reeks of alcohol, probably from drinking his sorrow away leaving him with only anger to take out on any poor defenseless soul that so much crosses his path.

Of course I'm the only poor defenseless soul that happens to be there…like always.

He usually comes up to me about now. yelling about something I have no fault of. Then, stomps his way to me, making objects fall in the process, due to his drunken state. I usually try to calm him down, but I always know what's coming next. A thud, a fall, and blood. He's beating me again…as usual. It's sad to say that this common. He comes home mad, I get hit, and then he apologizes in the morning…most of the times.

It wasn't always like this. At first we were just silly love struck teenagers. Not really caring about consequences; this was probably the reason that got me here right now. I should have known better…I did at one point, but "love" blinds you to the point of breaking you and making you do things you shouldn't.

I always knew that he couldn't be fully trusted, so did everyone else that knew him. Some tried to warn me that he'll only cause me pain and trouble. I ignored them, not knowing that they would be so true in the future. He did cause trouble when we were going out, but I over looked those times. It seemed as though life was giving me so many warnings to not continue, but I just walked on by. I'm guessing the last warning was when he cheated on me for the first time.

He kissed her first, and she fallowed, caught on camera and by another's eyes. He didn't even have the decency to brake up with me first. No, he didn't even apologize…he still hasn't now that I think about it. When I found out about this I was mixed with a feeling of sadness, anger, and disbelief. Disbelief soon passed, it wasn't that surprising that they were attracted to each other. They had more in common than anyone else I knew. Sadness, fallowed shortly afterwards, leaving me with only hatred to hold on to. It lasted for a good three years.

Then, they broke up. He came back seeking me as though nothing had happened, and I fell for it. At first, I tried to resist and go back to hating him, but soon he told me more sweetly, drug filled lies. I was smitten all over again. This time, fewer people warned me, trying to remind me of what he had done, but they didn't really go on as long as last time. This left me to just go with it, and ride this rollercoaster as far as I could. Well it went as far as moving out and getting our own apartment, shortly fallowed by marriage, just to be proceeded by him getting a job and starting our lives together as one big happy couple.

Needless to say that didn't last long. My first suspicion of his past coming back to haunt me was during our wedding. His old flame was there, I wonder why I even sent that invite, but then again he was the one who wanted her to come. They merely chatted and laughed occasionally…nothing unusual, that's what I told myself during the whole day. So what if I saw her looking at him with lust in her eyes, and so what if I happened to catch him staring at her longer than he should have. It all didn't mean anything... I kept repeating this over and over until she had finally left and the night was done.

They kept in touch apparently. He would call her just to chat and she would call for the same reason. I didn't think much of it until these conversations started getting longer. They carried on all the way till 12 in the morning and started to get later and later as well. Their words more hushed and daring. Every time I asked he just replied with "it was nothing, just a random conversation". I believed him for awhile.

That is until he started coming home late. His excuse this time, "The boss made me work overtime today". I fell for it at first, but then they started to become more frequently. He started coming back smelling oddly like women's perfume. His clothes disheveled with marks that seemed to resemble makeup, such as blue lipstick. He also came back with marks that looked like finger nail trials, and red markings all around his body. Sometimes he didn't come home at all. I started questioning him more and with each time he became angrier, to the point where it became physical. This brings us to the usual beatings.

With each beating I grew more and more frightened, to the point that I was actually hoping he'll go off and cheat on me with her, so I wouldn't get hurt that night. I was too scared to do anything. He threatens me that if I called for any help, what so ever, he would kill me and make it look as though is was an accident. I wanted to escape, and I did one time, but it didn't end well.

I packed my bags and left while he was at work. I went to a cheap hotel and got a room there. I couldn't go that far. I only had a small amount of money that I had saved. The next thing I did was go to the police station and told them all of what happened.

By the time they came to our house, he was already home. They were going to arrest him, and at that moment I thought I had won, but of course he had something planned for this. Before they could put the handcuffs on him he had made an act. He used an excuse of me being mentally sick and delusional, saying that I ran out of my medication and ran out of the house while he was working. He was convincing, not to mention that in my state I probably did seemed crazed. Needless to say, they believed him.

That's the night I ended up getting the scar I have running down my knee to my ankle.

After that he made sure I wouldn't do it again. He put locks on all the windows and the doors leading to outside, with codes only he knew. I was officially trapped, no way to get out, so that left me with no chance of escaping. At this point my hatred towards him was enough to give me courage to fight back. When he came home angry, I made sure to throw as much venom and hits as he did. Though this only made him harsher, hitting with more power each time.

At that point I knew I wouldn't be able to escape alive, so I just kept on hating him. I yelled and kicked every time he came home and decide to beat me; just like he's going to do right now.

But, tonight seems different. We both know that. He reaches me in one last stomp and raises his hand to pull me by my hair.

"I'm home princess…" He said in a sick, wicked slur.

"You're late; did your boss order you to work overtime fucking that whore?" I replied with as much venom as I could muster.

The beatings began right after I said this.

These hits were different from every hit he had ever given me. They were more aggressive and forceful, as though the only thing that was holding him back from beating me to death was a single, thin thread. It won't be long until that thread rips. I know this is going to be the last time he ever hits me. The last time he will ever fight with me. The last time he will see my eyes open or hear my screams of plea for him to stop. The last time I would have to suffer and the last time I will feel pain.

As my hearing begins to fade, I start to think back at the good times we had. I couldn't really remember any. This saddens me.

As my vision begins to fade, I start to think about all the times he had said he loved me, and that he would never hurt me again. This angers me.

As numbness takes over, I start to think about what he is going to do after this. Probably go off and live with that goth tramp. This…fills me with joy, or was it relief? No, it was more of a wicked feeling of somewhat revenge and happiness. Knowing that history will repeat it self and karma will make sure of it.

With that thought, I manage to smile and remember the last thing my mother told me before she left.

Lies are like drugs; they make you feel great in the beginning but leave you with a regretful and scornful aftermath…some go as far as to death…

Yeah, so anyway I haven't been enjoying how TDWT is going especially since *spoiler alert* Courtney is going to get eliminated next…

I'm normally a CourtneyxDuncan shipper but right now Duncan isn't on my good side so I'm not reading any CourtneyxDuncan stories…*sniff* It's too soon *sniff*…

Anyway I recommend listening to this song when reading this…well if you're reading this then it's a little to late for that but hey you could always re-read it!

So um…u gonna review?...

I don't want to seem pushy but uh….

PRESS THE BUTTON!

Love, ~Jinx~

Finished at 12:18 a.m. October 7, 2010