First mass effect story. I intended to have two chapters for this but I got lazy. This story is pretty old so I'm just going to leave it alone for you to enjoy. Please review if you can!
Summary: What can you do when your will and personality is slowly being stripped away? The answer; absolutely nothing. Saren's conflict+ParagonFemshep x Kaiden. Character death. WARNING: END GAME SPOILERS
Intense head throbbing, confusion, blurry vision. These were only a few of the many side effects Kaiden had to tolerate on a daily basis. He was used to it by now and he usually was able to deal with it, but this mission in particular had just blown off way out of proportion.
First, a practically invulnerable mechanical race called the reapers wanted every single piece of organic life dead.
Second, there was Saren, a turian slave of theirs whom was probably already using the conduit to follow through on the mass murder.
Third, the whole citadel was under fire and the Normandy crew was stuck using gravity boots, stomping on the very tower of the massive flowering superstructure itself.
Kaiden swore under his breath and wiped his eyelids in a futile attempt at clearing up the blurriness. Just his luck. On top of it all he had to get a migraine while the entire Citadel was literally bursting into flames around him. He wondered sardonically if someone was doing this to him on purpose; nothing in his life could actually go smoothly for a change.
His thoughts were interrupted by an explosion that blew up what he was using for cover and he sprinted out of the geth ambusher's radar, taking refuge behind a malfunctioning turret. C'mon. Focus. Kaiden shook his head vigorously and tried aiming his trembling pistol at the geth a few meters in front of him. He popped out from behind the turret, took a shot, and missed, then quickly doubled back before he could get mowed down by bullets. Kaiden cursed at his failure. At this rate he was afraid of being more of a burden than help.
Finally, as if he suddenly realized just what he was, he put his pistol away and chuckled for not thinking about it sooner. Kaiden concentrated on his opponents, charging his body with biotic impulses and when he felt the right level of energy waves vibrating from under his skin, he swung his arm forward, the gravity of the atmosphere smashing into his enemies. The geth were propelled backwards by his powerful attack and the barriers they were using as shields were eliminated. The Normandy shore party changed tactical positions and moved forward; yelling and shooting at what remained of the geth reinforcements. He was at least glad he could still marginally make a contribution even in his current state of mind.
"Kaiden, look out!" A strong, edgy female voice cut through the fog of battle.
Adariel?
He didn't have much time to react on her warning. A couple of sniper bullets whizzed past his ears and the commander shoved him out of the way into a ramp angling fifty degrees below the sleek metal surface he once stood on. She crouched beside him and used her biotic powers to lift one of the snipers that almost killed Kaiden a moment ago with a gravity defying mass effect kick.
"Christ Alenko," Commander Adariel Shepard growled and shot at a nearby geth. "You could've gotten yourself killed. What's going on with you?"
Kaiden winced at her pointed question, trying to hold his bleeding shoulder up with his free hand. If he could get worst than being scolded in the middle of an important battle by his commander, he'd like to see it for himself.
But the commander seemed to have just remembered what he suffered from and rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. "Oh, sorry. I forgot." She sighed and wished she could learn not to be so harsh, but she found it was hard to remember that the lieutenant wasn't just an ordinary human being, he was an L2 biotic.
He frowned, ignoring her apology. "Don't worry about me. Just go with the others and leave me here," He was sweating a lot from the agony of his wound and struggled to form words. "I'll just catch up with you later," The missiles and gun shots being set off around them began to be deafening and every blast felt like it was splitting his head in half. Kaiden closed his eyes and wondered just how he was supposed to get out of this alive. "J-just go alright?" He finished before crumbling against the bitter cold metal beside him.
Adariel summoned a barrier on her left side and glanced back at him. "There's no way I'm leaving you Alenko. It really isn't that easy to leave someone you love behind with a clear conscience," She yelled sarcastically over the battle's musical hammering. "Now shut up and heal that shoulder wound while I shoot these bastards down!" She shook her head and seethed in her thoughts. Who the hell do you think I am, the ultimate ditcher?
Kaiden was about to protest when some explosions started erupting not too far in front of them. Garrus was advancing through the troops in the front lines and Liara made sure he had a clear shot at his enemies by putting most of them in a massive static field. But from what the commander saw, Liara failed to notice the geth unit sneaking up from behind her.
"Liara! Behind you!" The frantic commander was instantaneously torn between staying by her injured lover's side or helping a friend in danger. Pinned down by the geth snipers, there wasn't much she could do without risking the death of either Kaiden or Liara.
Then the intimidating rip of a Krogan warrior's cry came from someone she had come to depend on quite heavily. Wrex…
She was unnervingly aware of how lucky she was that Wrex was there to make the split second decision for her, and made a mental note to shower him with rose petals if they ever got back. He used the back bud of his shotgun like a battering ram and knocked the geth attacker over before it could lay even a finger on the asari adept.
Adariel heaved a sigh of relief. She heard Liara politely thank him for saving her life and saw her huff over once again to Garrus, resuming in her field generating strategy. Wrex lifted the corpse of a krogan with his biotic powers and used it to absorb the incoming bullets, then laughed maniacally at the other horror stricken Krogan he faced. Adariel lost count on how many times the alien mercenary had saved a crew member's life during their travels. She was grateful he didn't stop now.
"We'll punch through them hard and fast while you patch up the technician." Wrex boomed over the noise and Adariel signaled the O.K. He charged towards the Krogan battle master and blew a hole in its armor. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and he roared in the geth's direction, which made some of the geth, to Adariel's surprise, actually turn and bolt the other way. They probably knew they had no chance in hell of surviving, she shook her head in amusement. She was just glad Wrex was on their side.
Adariel deviated her attention back to Kaiden. He was using the remainder of his medi-gel to staunch the bleeding of his wound and tried to calm himself by breathing in and out. She reached over to help but he muttered for her to stay away and forced himself up in a crouching position. She frowned at the rejection. Kaiden could be stubborn, she knew that, but he was really overdoing it this time.
"I can take care of myself Commander. Go ahead and lead the others to the Citadel Tower," Kaiden's voice was filled with anger and frustration at his own inability to fight and the weakness that for some unknown reason the commander always seemed to witness at the most inopportune times. "I'm not worth the stalling of a galaxy's rescue."
That's for me to decide, she wished she could say but she knew it would just aggravate the situation, "Really? Well guess what, I'm not leaving without you." She opted for instead. "We're in this together, remember?" She palmed his hand in hers and tried her best to look comforting, "Wherever I go, you follow, understand? And vice versa for that matter." He was fighting a losing battle. Adariel wasn't leaving.
"Commander." He used her title again and tried to stay firm. "I can't let you jeopardize this mission because of—"
"Alenko." Adariel abruptly cut him off with her own sheer strength of will."Kaiden…" She lowered her tone and spoke softly. "I'd sacrifice anything for you. Anything." With those words she inadvertently reminded him of Ashley Williams and a wave of guilt washed over him. "Frankly, you're the biggest reason why I even bother trying to save the galaxy." She continued, her clear blue eyes piercing through his. He could tell she meant every word, but something about the way she said it struck a nerve in Kaiden, and he couldn't pinpoint the reason why. The feeling subsided and he tried to shrug it off. This whole situation was incredibly intense and he knew most people, especially Adariel, could get emotional under this kind of stress. He squeezed her hand and nodded. It was all he could do facing the beautiful, intelligent and devoted woman before him. When she spoke, it was almost like he could feel the determination she had emanating, and it reassured him in ways he never thought possible.
She smiled wickedly at his subtle but sweet response and helped him up, reassured that his injury wasn't hindering him anymore. "Let's go kick some ass Alenko. Saren will regret he was ever born."
Her words seemingly gave him all the confidence in the world. The reapers, Saren, the whole lot of them, they weren't unbeatable.
As long as Adariel Shepard was alive and still breathing, their enemies weren't as indestructible as they claimed to be.
My mind is my own, I know it, it has to be.
Saren knew he was his own person. The reapers were not his masters, but his benefactors and he got as much of a benefit from this alliance as they did. The entirety of the galaxy he was saving wouldn't open their eyes, couldn't see the truth of Sovereign's vision. They would have to pay the price. He said they would. It was inevitable.
"No doubts. I must listen. For Sovereign," He reasoned. "He needs me, I need him. It is… mutual." Saren thought out loud as he walked over to the glowing yellow console past the steps up on the podium in the Citadel tower.
Outside the window was a heated battle between the crippled Citadel fleet and his coordinated geth ships. They were fools for trying, and even bigger fools for refusing to cooperate. Sovereign was present and taking over the installation. Nothing could stop them now. The glorious sensation of victory veiled over Saren's senses, a reward he'd been waiting for for nearly three decades. Soon would come the reapers, and their approval of him and his efforts. He would be recognized as the savior once they show up and negotiate on behalf of his species and come to an agreement. Then it would all be over. He could already hear them cheering his name on for centuries. He would be the pinnacle of the universe's salvation. A legend. A hero.
And Shepard, soon, would die.
He expected resistance. Sovereign had warned him that Commander Shepard would be coming and told him to brace himself for a confrontation unlike any other. Ever since his first meeting with Shepard, he knew the next meeting wouldn't be an easy one. They were on the same side…and yet not, and she argued with him, told him that he was, what was the word…
Indoctrinated?
Saren laughed at the memory. Foolish girl. His mind was his own, he knew it. After all, why wouldn't it be? His thoughts were his own and as far as his body was concerned he was still in control. He didn't feel strung along or pressured, just at peace with himself. It was a wonderful feeling he couldn't get enough of.
The doors to the elevator on the other side of the Council tower opened and there emerged his greatest enemy. She was coming. Only this time, he was ready for her.
Here comes the commander and her little puppets, He mused. how predictable of a 'hero'.
The commander fought valiantly through his minions, but it would end soon. She ran up the stairs, reached for her gun…
Not so fast Shepard.
With one strategically placed biotic push, Saren was able to throw Shepard off balance and detonate an incendiary close to the turian companion she brought with her. He was taken out of battle, and only her other human male companion was left conscious along with her.
Shepard dove towards another form of cover and drew out her weapon. "Saren, you're making a big mistake! We can resolve this peacefully!" She yelled in a desperate attempt at changing Saren's mind. "We can make a truce and help each other out!"
Saren cackled at the misguided, naïve human words. "Do you really think this can be solved peacefully? You must be delusional, Shepard. This can only end in violence, in your death!"
The male friend didn't take the suggested death threat very well and scowled at the silver, blue eyed turian. He readied his gun for what he knew might happen and Saren grinned.
"Saren. Listen to me. It's not too late to turn back. You can stop this now and cooperate with me while you have the chance!" She said in the noblest way a human could say it. "We can turn the tide of this conflict, together!"
"And become a pawn of someone else like I was with the council? Ha! I think I will decline that offer, Shepard," He paused and suppressed the urge to laugh. "Sovereign has modified me since our last encounter, and now I know I can kill you," Saren clenched his fists in the air and added grimly. "We will conquer the galaxy without your help!"
Shepard's eyes widened. "What did he do to you Saren?" She seemed fearful, perhaps even confused to what extent he was modified. Saren was happy to have witnessed that expression before her death.
"I am a perfect example of machine merged with organic life Shepard. It is…a symbiotic relationship. You cannot even begin to imagine how this feels like," Saren's voice was filled with the intoxication he felt as he revelled in his new bodily functions. "You won't survive this."
Commander Adariel Shepard leaped out of her hiding spot and shot at Saren's chest. She knew it would deflect because of his shields, but it served as a distraction and left an opening for Kaiden. He used all the mental strength he could muster to knock him off the podium, and Saren crashed into the glass windows under them. Adariel jumped down after him and Kaiden followed, but Saren was able to get back on his feet and catch Adariel off guard before she landed with his own devastating biotic throw.
"Adariel!" Kaiden yelled out. The commander was thrown against a supporting beam and fell unconscious. Kaiden turned and was grabbed by Saren, floating in midair, his throat being mangled by the overpowering nemesis.
"It is unfortunate that you will die without knowing who your commander truly is." He teased, knowing the weight his comments were having on the bewildered lieutenant, "Her true nature, hidden from you all this time. It is something truly astonishing." He let Kaiden slip from his grasp and the human clenched at his neck, coughing out blood and wheezing out one ragged breath at a time.
"Don't even t-try that indoctrination crap on me because it…it won't work." He angrily replied, looking back at the half-dead commander he had sought to protect in anguish.
"I'm not trying to indoctrinate you you blind fool, i'm telling you the truth," Saren kicked him in the stomach and smile sadistically as Kaiden cried out in pain. "Of course, you are in love with this woman, a woman who is higher up in the chain of command. How… human of you." He mocked and stepped on Kaiden's chest, putting more and more pressure on it. "Would you like to hear the truth about your pathetic lover? Do you?"
Kaiden's mind was screaming and his heart was pounding painfully against Saren's foot. Pretty soon he wouldn't be able to stop it. The pressure, the implant, it would—
His arm twitched upwards and Saren was thrown off of his chest and into a wall. Kaiden rolled over and used this extra time to concentrate on creating a breach in the gravity and his efforts paid off; a biotic singularity, unlike any other, was formed. Saren drifted around the trap he set, clawing at any nearby solid object he could get to. He was helpless, but Kaiden was in no shape to give him the final blow. His arms, legs were shaking, he was bleeding profusely from the base of his skull and his vision was dimming.
Kaiden took one last longing look at his commander. I'm… sorry. I've failed you.
But as soon as he looked at her, he saw her stir from her state.
The commander was awake! In the darkness of his failing vision he saw her unclip her shotgun from her back and get up slowly from where she was thrown. Adariel had a perfect view of Saren's face and she didn't hesitate. The sound of the shot made her flinch, her tired eyes held shut and her weariness was becoming apparent.
The singularity shrunk into itself and disappeared and the body of the turian thumped on the grass, inches from the commander's feet. She lowered her weapon and struggled to walk over to Kaiden's side.
"Commander…" He felt nauseous and he was barely able to speak, but all that mattered was that Adariel was still alive. They were both still alive, and they had done it. They had succeeded in doing the impossible. "S-Saren, we—"
He stopped mid-sentence. The gun's silhouette… the one she was holding, it was pointed at him now.
"What are you doing…" He asked weakly, his mind racing, trying to figure out what was happening. "Adariel."
"Kaiden, I have to kill you." Her face was twitching under the immense emotional weight she had to bear and she couldn't contain it, the tears started to show and streak down her flushed cheeks. She was holding the gun with both hands, shaking uncontrollably, her body ready to give out at any moment.
"Why…" He breathed out quietly and closing his eyes, he already knew the answer.
"Because Sovereign ordered me to."
The gunshot echoed through the Citadel tower.