1. Push him into a volcano

2. Chop off his legs with a lightsaber near the edge of a lava lake, which will light him on fire

3. Get someone to pull his pants down. He should die from embarassment. Or at least hide somewhere and never come out.

4. Drop a satellite on him (or many. As many as it takes to take him down!)

5. Lure him to the lake at Hogwarts and get the Giant Squid to eat him. Or hold him down until he drown. Either one works, and the Squid would probably prefer not to eat him.

6. Send him back in time. When he appears in the past, he will land on his grandfather, killing him. So he never gets born, so he never goes back in time to kill his grandfather, so he IS born, so he does get born and kill his grandfather, so.... Voldemort is stuck in a paradox that nothing can save him from!!!

7. Get Harry to go back in time and seduce Merope. He becomes Voldemort's father and Voldemort grows up in a nurturing and caring environment.

8. Shoot him 348 times. 347 might not be enough, and 349 is going just too far.

9. Dump him on a deserted island that is magic-proof (preferably one inhabited by polar bears and strange monsters made of black smoke)

10. Chop off his arms and legs, get rid of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. He can't do anything now! Well, except breath. Which is kind of boring.

11. Give him a lobotomy. How can he be a Dark Lord with part of his brain missing? Remember to preserve the section of brain that is removed (you can sell it on Ebay for millions!)

12. Smother him with Care Bears. Their cuddliness will leave him confused and disoriented. He may even giggle. Make sure to have some kind of recording device on hand.

13. Grab him and Apparate with him, being careful to Splinch him right down the centre. Then make him a tourist attraction!

14. Fly a 747 or another jumbo jet into him when he's flying

15. Teach him calculus. That should bore him to death. If that fails, move on to matrices

16. Stuff him into a nuclear reactor.

17. Hire the mafia to "take care of him". This will either result in him being killed or receiving a nice house in the suburbs and a cushy job.

18. Introduce him to George W. Bush. Several things could happen: Bush could think he was a terrorist and arrest him, Voldemort could explode from not being able to comprehend President Bush, or the two could become the best of friends and Voldemort wouldn't be evil anymore (because friendship with George W. Bush automatically renders human beings incapable of any thought and therefore incapable of evil)

19. Force him to watch a marathon of every soap opera ever made. By the end of it, he'll either be dead or a blonde woman with a craving for chocolate.

20. Force him to watch a marathon of every Disney movie ever made. By the end of it, he'll either be dead or a five year old girl with pigtails who enjoys tea parties.

21. Force him to watch a marathon of every Star Trek episode (and the movies). By the end of it, he'll either be dead, or a skinny white guy with pimples and huge glasses

22. Give him a flower. Results may vary.

23. Give him a hug. Again, results may rang from an explosion, to Voldemort sobbing and talking about how his father never loved him.

24. Give him a kiss. This might be a little hard though; no human being is known that would be capable of this.

25. Stick him into the Matrix. Unless he meets Morpheus, he's gone forever. If he meets Morpheus, he'll die when Zion is attacked.

26. Get Buffy to stake him. She probably won't notice that he isn't an actually vampire. If she does, get Faith or another vampire slayer.

27. Get Luke Skywalker to kill him with his lightsaber.

28. Get Neo to kill him.

29. Get Keanu Reeves to kill him with bad acting.

30. Make Voldie into a vampire an stick him outside in a desert.

31. Make Voldie into a werewolf and shoot him with silver bullets

32. Make Voldie into a PlantSim and don't water him.

33. Give him to aliens as a sacrifice

34. Give him to aliens as an example of our species. Then he can enjoy all the experiments! (especially those probes they're so fond of...)

35. Throw him into the outer atmosphere. He'll probably burn up, but it would be interesting to watch what happens if he didn't!

36. Throw him into orbit around the Earth. Watch him go round and round

37. Make him watch a marathon of every game show ever made. By the end of it, he'll be dead. There is no other way that could turn out.

38. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a room with Hannibal Lecter or another strange cannibal

39. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a dragon's nest

40. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a room full of rabid skunks

41. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a room full of people who love fast food, but have been starved for 5 days (adding a hot dog costume is optional, but makes it much more funny)

42. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a room full of starved vampires.

43. Cover him in barbecue sauce and leave him in a room with Chewbacca. See who wins. Take bets, if you wish.

44. Send him back in time to the Jurassic Period. He will conveniently land in the middle of a T-rex nest.

45. Give him a controller for a bomb that is implanted in his brain (somehow). The controller consists of a large, friendly red button with the words "DO NOT PUSH" written on it. Can he resist? I think not.

46. Tell Chuck Norris that Voldemort insulted his roundhouse kicks.

47. Get the world champion of "Yo Momma" jokes to challenge him to a fight to the death

48. Make him listen to any Ipod owned by a teenager. His eardrums will explode and this will start a chain reaction of explosions in his head.

49. Take him to a street with women's fashion stores along it. He will run in terror, screaming like a little girl. He probably will never stop running.

50. Ask him what would happen if he went back in time an killed his grandfather. His mind will go round and round in circles and he'll be stuck thinking it over forever.