A/N: I know I should be posting a chapter for Mending a Rigid Spirit, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. The last chapter I wrote for Mending sprouted this little seed of silliness that I just couldn't ignore. Leave a review and let me know what you think.
Laxus smirked slightly as he listened to the sexy blonde rant to Mira about her most recent failed attempt at finding a boyfriend. The latest guy was a friend of Cana's – a fact that should have been a red flag from the beginning – and had come highly recommended by the drunk. Lucy had gone to dinner with him, which he'd refused to pay for because the chosen restaurant was Lucy's idea, not his. The guy didn't even offer to chip in after he ran up a ridiculously high tab with the seemingly endless number of drinks he ordered. By the time they'd left the restaurant, he was drunk and horny. He insisted on walking Lucy back to her apartment and had copped a feel too many times for her to tolerate. She'd slapped him when his hand slipped beneath her skirt to palm a butt cheek but he still persisted, assuming it was some sort of rough, freaky foreplay. The guy didn't leave until Loke came through his gate and scared him off.
The Lightening Dragon Slayer knew the woman he had his sights set on was nearly ready to give up on men entirely after so many horrific experiences. He figured it was time for him to step in and show her what a real man was like before she decided to do the unthinkable and become a lesbian. Not that he had anything against some chick on chick action; he just wanted this woman for himself. Plus, it would be a crime to all mankind if she never experience was a man should be like. Laxus was confident he could show her everything she'd been missing out on. He was, after all, a man in every way one could be considered a man. He was tall, handsome, muscular, powerful, well established and made a decent income. Not to mention great in the sack, though he wouldn't bring that up right away. It was likely she'd already heard about that, anyway.
He didn't bother trying to hide his stare as the long-legged, sexy woman made her way over to his team's table. She looked amazing, as usual, in her white mini skirt and pink barely-there-top that looked ready to burst from the weight of her massive tits. His attention was stolen away from her cleavage by her toned legs and the hint of ass peeking from beneath the hem of her skirt as she climbed into the bench between Bickslow and Freed. It wasn't unusual for her to sit with them when her teammates were out doing whatever they did when they weren't at the guild. Every member of the Thunder God Tribe was friends with the woman. Their acceptance of her was one of the many reasons why she'd make a great addition to the team once she was his woman.
When she greeted him from her spot across the table, Laxus simply nodded in return, not feeling the need to start a conversation. He noticed how her eyes lingered a second too long on his face and dropped down to his partially opened shirt before turning her attention to the Rune Mage. It didn't take a genius of Freed's caliber to know there was attraction between them. Why wouldn't there be? She was the epitome of sexy by female standards, much like he was according to male standards. They'd make an amazing couple. Now that she was available again, he'd just have to reel her in.
Laxus' thoughts were interrupted by Bickslow leaning forward and whispering, "If you stare much harder, she might end up pregnant."
"Fuck off." The blue haired man's tongue lolling out of his mouth and his 'babies' twirling around in the air was his only response. Thankfully, Lucy hadn't heard his whispering from her spot next to him. She was too busy talking to Freed about a book they'd both read. They seemed to have some sort of mini book club going with the two of them and Levy. Laxus did his best to tune out those conversations, so he wasn't really sure of the details.
A few songs played through on his Sound Pod before he started paying attention to what the group around him was saying. It sounded like the topic of Lucy's dating life, or lack thereof, had come up again.
"You can hang out with me tonight. I've heard that new club downtown is pretty good." Bickslow said with his head leaning against his hand, elbow rested on the table and turned to sit sideways facing Lucy. Laxus couldn't read minds, but he knew his teammates. The Seith Mage was trying to irritate him.
The way her smile brightened irritated Laxus almost as much as the answer she gave. "Yeah, we should! I haven't gone yet! But I'm not being your wingman this time. You'll have to be mine." She put emphasis on the last part by poking Bickslow in the chest. The contact made Laxus narrow his eyes in jealousy. He couldn't remember a time Lucy had ever playfully touched him.
Tongue wagging away, the blue haired man said, "Alright, but if you don't get lucky, you can always come home with me."
"We'll see." Lucy answered laughingly while rolling her eyes and playfully slapping his leg. Those two were getting way too comfortable for Laxus' liking. Why the hell hadn't she just said no? "Besides, we both know you're hunting for good dick as much as I am."
Laxus nearly choked on his spit when he heard those words. Clearly, she wasn't looking in the right places. There was a good dick about two feet away from her right between his legs. He tried to think of something to say to stop this conversation before it got too far, but Bickslow beat him to it. "Well, yeah, good dick is hard to find but I also love a tight, wet pussy."
Lucy blushed and slapped his leg harder than before as she hissed, "Shut up! I never should have told you about that!"
Told him about what? And she still hadn't turned down the Seith Mage. What the hell was going on with them? He knew for a fact the two of them had never slept together, much less been interested in more than harmless flirting. Their scents would have given it away. Laxus' irritation with his teammate was building quickly, which didn't go unnoticed by Bickslow. Sensing the danger growing from across the table, the blue haired man dropped the flirting and decided to help out his leader. "Seriously, though. We could go tonight. Maybe we could get the whole team out to do something."
Freed piped up saying, "Unfortunately, I will not be a part of this outing. I've already made arrangements to study a foreign script with Levy this evening."
"Aw, Freed! You never go out with us." Lucy pouted.
With a sigh, he answered, "That's not entirely true. I went with the two of you and Evergreen to the bathhouse ten days ago." When the hell had they done that?! Laxus was in town ten days ago and definitely would have gone to a bathhouse with all of them if Lucy was going.
"Oh yeah, you're right." Lucy said with a small huff. "Since Ever is out with Elfman on a weekend getaway that she swears is a job request, I guess it will just be the two of us, Bixyboo."
"What about me? I thought the whole team was invited." Laxus interjected before Bickslow could make another ridiculous comment that might drive him to seriously harm or murder the man.
Lucy's gaze met Laxus' with more surprise showing than he expected. She didn't think he'd go out with them? The disbelief in her voice confirmed that thought. "You actually want to do something fun with us?"
With a shrug, he answered, "Yeah, why not."
"I just didn't think you'd want to. You've never gone out with us before."
"You never asked."
Lucy didn't answer right away, wondering if that was true. While they'd never invited Laxus specifically, many of the things she did with the Thunder God Tribe were open to whoever wanted to go. Maybe he felt obligated to go tonight as a sort of team bonding thing. "You really don't have to go with us. It's ok."
Before he had a chance to say anything else, Lucy turned back to Bickslow and started planning their evening. After a short debate, they agreed Bickslow would grab take out and bring it to her place at 7. Lucy told him what to wear – why the hell did she even know what clothes Bickslow owned? – and he would help her pick an outfit – what the fuck was it with them and clothes? – and have a few shots, then go to the club after she was ready. Clearly, this plan was only for two people and Laxus was not one of them. A golden opportunity had presented itself but slipped away before he even had a chance to act on it.
Sensing his oldest friend's growing distress, Bickslow tried to help him out one more time. The Seith Mage knew how much Laxus wanted to hook up with Cosplayer and was really only teasing about sleeping with her. Mostly. He wasn't sure if he'd pass up the chance if she was really down for that. He told Lucy, "Maybe Laxus should go with us. At least then there'd be someone around in case we get wasted and forget how to get back to your place like that one time."
Laughing loudly, Lucy said, "I forgot about that! We were so lucky the Rune Knights didn't pick us up for sleeping in the park. Do you even remember how we got there?"
"Nope, but I do remember the hangover I had the next morning." Bickslow answered, joining in with Lucy's laughter.
Laxus felt it was a good time to jump into the conversation before it veered off again. "I'll go."
Lucy placed a hand on her chest and smiled while making a cooing sound Laxus had never heard direct at him or anyone else over the age of three. "Aw, you're so sweet. You're really a good friend, Laxus."
The world seemed to stop spinning for a moment and all the noises around him fell away. Did she just say he was a good friend? A good fucking friend? She even called him sweet. What the hell?!
He wasn't sure what else was said between the other two before Lucy stood up and walked away. His senses seemed to still be dulled by the harsh blow he'd just taken to his pride. Never in his life had any woman ever referred to him as a 'good friend'. That term was reserved for gay dudes and losers that were pushed into the friend-zone. The idea made the man suck in a sharp breath and his eyes go wide with realization. Was he in the friend-zone?
In tune with his friend's trail of thought, Bickslow couldn't help but snicker a little. The look of horror on Laxus' face made it hard for him to contain his laughter, but fear of dying by electrocution kept him in check. Unable to resist a small bit of teasing, Bickslow stood up so he could make a quick escape, knowing his next words would piss off the other man. Standing with his hands leaned against the table and his tongue hanging from his mouth, he whispered, "Don't worry, boss. I'll put in a good word for you."
The shock Bickslow felt coursing through his body as he ran from the guildhall was worth it.
A/N: Let me know what you think! Should this become a full story or remain a silly one-shot? I have a few ideas on how to continue this if anyone is interested in it.