STAR
"Hyung, we're going to be late," the concerned voice of my assistant suddenly broke the silence inside the van.
I just looked at him with an unconcerned look and smiled. "Don't worry. They will wait," I said with an arrogant tone.
The young man sitting just a few inches away from me quickly shook his head in disappointment and just sighed. He was just the assistant and he didn't have any right to voice out his opinion.
A few seconds pass and my phone started ringing. I already had an idea who was calling so I didn't even bother picking it up. I just continued to listen to the sweet music playing inside the van.
I am a star, a very high and mighty star. I have no fear and conscience. This is what they made me into. And so I will never be human…. Never again.
"Please sir, can you give me another chance? I… I just made a small mistake," I begged the man sitting in front of me.
"Mistake? Young man, in this business, you can never make mistakes. Mistakes costs money and money is very hard to earn," the man arrogantly answered.
I quickly lowered my head and was about to give up when someone suddenly walked into the room and caught everyone's attention.
"Give him another chance, Hyung. I think he's good. He's just starting so give the guy a break, will you? He can commit mistakes while he's still human. But once he's like me, well then… that is the time he can no longer make mistakes," the young man said with a light chuckle.
The older man gave me another look and I quickly gathered up my courage and started from the beginning. This was my last shot… My last chance to be a star.
It was a long time ago. But I am still thankful to that young man. If it wasn't for him, maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. Sometimes I would think if I should really be thankful or should I just hate him for giving me that chance. The chance to fulfill my dream but he knew it also meant losing the real me.
Star… That is what they call someone like me. But that word comes with a big price.
In my life, there are many words that you can never associate with the word "star."
"Friendship" and "Trust"
Why? There had been many instances in my life wherein I lost my faith in all the people around me, and in life itself. Everything seemed like a continuous circle of events that always end up hurting me in so many ways that I can never imagine.
Friendship… You can never have a true and steady friendship in my world. There will always be lies in order for people to take advantage and get things in exchange for the so-called friendship.
"Friend? No, he's not my friend. He's just someone I know. He's one of the most arrogant fool I have met," the young man I have been friends with for 2 years said with a light laugh.
"Really? Then why are you guys always seen together? Everyone says the two of you are best friends," another man asked.
"That's just for publicity purposes. He's popular. So it's a good way to get exposure," the young man answered casually.
And after hearing those words, I immediately went out of my hiding spot and punched my so-called friend straight in the face.
Friends? Who needs them? I have been without them for years now.
Trust… In my world, it is something that can never be given freely. It always comes with a price. You should never give it or else you'll always end up hurting.
"FLASHNEWS: The manager of a famous singer was reported to have made some illegal business deals, also involving the singer's name in the process. The authorities are currently investigating the said case. Luckily the singer's name has already been cleared from all involvement and the manager has already been identified as the only person responsible for the crime. Also a reliable source has informed us that even the famous singer was scammed by his own manager."
I immediately closed the TV. I didn't want to hear or see anymore. I gave my trust to the only person who has been beside me ever since I started but I ended up being hurt and abused. So from then on I promised myself that I will never believe in anyone, ever again.
This is my life. A life without trust.
After a few years, I already learnt my lesson. I changed and I became the most successful singer. But in exchange, I also ended up being hated by the people around me. I always tell myself that it is always better to be hated than hurt. It was the only way I could protect myself.
"Hyung, we're here," my assistant suddenly tapped my shoulder. We were already at the concert.
This is where my reminiscing ended. I was back in my real world. The world of fame and loneliness.
"Se7en! Se7en! Se7en!" the chanting and shouting seemed endless.
My fans were already calling out for me. I have to put on my mask again. This is what I wanted so I have to pay the price.
In my world, being true to your self can never exist. Some people may find me repulsive or vile with the way I am pretending. But this is the real me… now. The so-called "STAR".