I never really thought it would be so easy to love another man's child. I was adopted but that was different. When Roxy introduced me to T.J. and Finn I knew I would probably care deeply about them but love. That is exactly what happened. I'm not sure when or where but I fell in love with those two, as much as I did their mama. Maybe it was T.J.'s bright blue eyes looking up at me begging for approval. Or maybe it was Finn's coffee brown orbs as they lite up when I smiled down at him. It might just be the way they were so perfect in their mistakes. I can't help but smile just thinking about them. Now they're finally mine and I wanna hold on them forever.
I never really thought it would be so hard to say goodbye. Yeah you did. A small voice replied. My heart broke into a million pieces when Finn pleaded with me not leave. I thought about just dropping my bags, putting the boys and Roxy in the car, go on vacation like we planned. But of course I couldn't do that. So I just pulled them in my arms, swearing to return. They fit perfectly in my hold. Four small arms wrapped around me and I didn't want to let go. The smell of T.J.'s shampoo, the feel of Finn's cheek against my neck; I wanted to stay in that moment forever. Still I pulled away, meeting both their eyes, they were scared. I asked them to look after Roxy, the love of my life and the woman who brought these boys into my life. Finn had gone to stand with Pamela. T.J. stood in front of me, I could tell he wanted to say something.
"It's just, we've never had a real daddy before." Oh Teej I had to stop myself from scooping him up in my arms and never let anything bad happen to him again. But I also knew if I didn't that I'd start to cry and soldiers don't cry, not front of people. So I just put my hand on his shoulder and told him the truth.
"I love you." I could feel the tears burning at the back of my eyes as I walked away from . No LeBlanc don't turn back, it'll hurt too much. I looked back anyway, and it did hurt but I had to see those faces one more time. Then I looked back again, they were staring back. Did they think that I was abandoning them? I could never abandon those boys, my boys. I looked back a final time just to make sure their faces were welded into my mind. Come on Trevor, you knew the day you met Roxy that you'd eventually deploy and that it would hurt something awful. Yeah I did but I didn't know I'd want to run back to them pull them into my arms and never let go.
Yes you did.