AN: Ahh! I posted this and forgot to include an author's note/disclaimer! (facepalm)
anyway. disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I don't want to. There would be to much responsibility.
Orihime was bored. She was stuck in Los Noches with nothing to do, and no one to talk to. Well, technically she did have someone to talk to, but he was more like someone to talk at. Being a good listener was a nice quality, but eventually the listener has to say something, otherwise it's like talking to a wall.
Anyway. While Orihime was pondering what she could do to get rid of the boredom, she was also thinking about how bad the food she was being given was. It was all bland, plain stuff. And some weird food called tacos. Orihime had hoped that foreign food would be good, but the tacos had been sadly disappointing.
Suddenly, Orihime jumped off of her couch. "I can cook!" she shouted. Of course the dramatic moment was ruined because there was no one to shout at.
When Ulquiorra walked into the room he was surprised to see a very determined looking Orihime.
"I want to cook."
Although he didn't show it, Ulquiorra was even more surprised. Could he let the girl cook? Was her decision to make food part of some fiendish plot to poison whoever ate her food?
"Why?" He questioned. If she said 'to poison someone as part of a cunning plan to escape,' she definitely wasn't going near the kitchen.
"Because I'm booorreeed," she whined.
"I will ask Aizen-sama if you may cook." He didn't think someone putting a cunning plan into action would come up with an excuse as lame as 'I'm bored.'
So Ulquiorra went and asked Aizen if Orihime could cook. To which Aizen replied, "Sure, why not. What's the worst she can do, make someone a little sick?"
While Orihime was darting around the kitchen, Ulquiorra watched, and wondered what she could be making. She had found a large pot, filled it with water, and put it on the stove.
The first thing to be dropped in the boiling water was on onion. After the onion had come spaghetti noodles, the cheese from a macaroni and cheese box, and some chicken. At this point, the room started to smell funny.
After standing and staring at the pot for a minute, she had dropped a garlic clove, some pepper, and a marshmallow into the water. She then opened a bag of M+M's and dropped the contents into the pot.
Ulquiorra was getting worried now. Not only did the room smell funny, but small chocolate candies were flying out of the pot at random intervals.
Orihime seemed unfazed, and poured a tablespoon of cooking oil, some lemon extract, and half a glass of sake into the pot. The contents were making some seriously weird noises now.
Still oblivious, the red-head continued to add ingredients. Into the water went a diced tomato, beef-flavored ramen seasoning, a cup of rice, and some celery.
Ulquiorra was pretty sure that whatever was in that pot wasn't edible.
Orihime stood before the pot for a minute, before grabbing a bag of un-popped popcorn. She then poured the kernels. Into the water.
As soon as the last kernel hit the boiling, hissing, weird smelling stuff in the pot, the concoction exploded. Not only did the pot explode, but also the kitchen, the whole floor the kitchen was on, and the rest of the huge building.
A few minutes later, a head of long orange hair appeared out of the rubble. The face under the hair looked confused.
"That didn't happen last time I made my popcorn soup."