Chapter 1: Through Perry's Eyes

Perry sipped his coffee and tried to wash the taste of the day's platypi friendly breakfast out of his mouth. How did monotremes stand eating that stuff? If he had one quibble with Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, it was that she was a bit slow. He gave a sigh. It wasn't that he didn't try to hold the food down, it just wasn't possible. Healthy or no, there must be something else to feed your pet platypus, and he certainly hoped she'd catch on to just how sick the current menu made him.

He shrugged it off with another sip of coffee as he stepped into the O.W.C.A. 's agent elevator. As the door's closed, a faint, "Hey, where's Perry?" could be heard.

Perry glanced up towards the sound of the query, then swallowed the last of his coffee, not liking the taste of the guilt mixed in any better than he had liked his breakfast.

For a family who didn't pay much attention to him while he was there, they sure were quick to notice when he disappeared. More guilt swept in as he tried to justify leaving. So what if they didn't think twice of his disappearances? It wasn't like they hadn't become routine. And there was that one time he'd returned to find them all singing for him to come home. He still wasn't sure how'd they'd realized that that disappearance might have ended differently, but their concern still rode on his conscience.

He set his mug down and placed his hat on his head, trying to push the thoughts away. His family was just busy, he told himself as he made his way to his chair. They hadn't been ignoring him lately on purpose. Still, long nights spent under the coffee table due to two closed bedroom doors were becoming more and more frequent. And he had yet to decide if sleeping on the foot of Candace's bed was worth waking up to her screaming protest anyway.

"Ah, good morning Agent P."

I guess it is. Perry settled into his chair so Monogram could tell him Doofenshmirtz had recently been doing something he needed to investigate. His shoulder's slumped. He really needed that vacation time he'd been putting in for. He glanced back up at the screen as Carl and Monogram bickered over who would get to deliver the final line. The unpaid intern whined, his nasally voice making him sound like an infant. "But you promised!"

Monogram came as close to loosing his cool as he ever did. "That's enough Carl! As soon as we're done here, I want you to clean this place up. Then you can get started on my office."

Hello? I'm still here! Can we get on with this? The look on his face conveyed his message loud and clear.

Monogram turned back to the screen, eyes widening in intimidation at the expression. "Oh. Right. Sorry about that Agent P. To recap, very briefly, Doofenshmirtz, Bananas. Stop him."

Perry saluted, then started his jetpack with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. Bananas? Oh well. He'd find out soon enough.

Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated.

Perry eased down to the rooftop, then took off the straps that bound him to the jetpack. As he slipped in through a window, a large cage banged down over his head. He took the bars with a heavy sigh.

Doof looked up. "What? Perry the Platypus? What are you doing here?"

Perry's eyes glazed over. Not the feigned surprise thing again! At least tell me you're not just making a giant banana crème pie, or trying to eradicate all banana peels because they humiliated you, or something stupid like that.

"Oh, you're wondering about the bananas huh? Well, I don't see what business it is of yours." He crossed his arms and glared sideways at the agent for a full half minute. "All right, fine! I'll tell you anyway. Shesh! You don't have to beg me or anything! A little interest in my evil schemes from my nemesis, that all I ask. Is that so much? But noooooo You probably just want to thwart me and get back to…. Whatever it is you semi aquatic mammals do… Do you even have anything to get back to doing?"

As much as he hated to admit it, Other than going back to hear, "Oh, there you are Perry." No, no I don't. He tried to muster up some interest, but Doof was just standing there staring at him, a worried expression on his face. "You're feeling it too, huh?"

It?

"It's kind of a relief actually. I was afraid it was just me…. Not that I'm saying a little routine isn't good,- or evil, as it were, but either way!- I've been thinking it's been far too long since we mixed it up a little." He pulled out a remote and set Perry free.

Now on guard, the agent looked around him suspiciously, then stared at Doof with a raised eyebrow.

Routine? Is that IT?

Doof went on, twiddling his fingers with a guilt ridden look on his face. "To be honest, my whole Banana Peel Floor Inator scheme isn't really worked out yet anyway… the name for one, needs work, and… well, it's kind of pointless to use it yet anyway. You see Perry the Platypus, I was going to zap all the floors in the tri-state area with this -inator, making them all as slippery as a banana peel, and then sell the only shoes that wont slip on that surface to fund some even more evil scheme."

Sounds like you so far.

"But…. I haven't exactly made the shoes yet. Not even this pair that I put railroad spikes in works. I've tried everything! Glass, tacks, nails, pudding… nada! Although, in hindsight, I really shouldn't have tried the pudding. Adding more slippery really didn't do good things for my back. That was just… oh, sorry Perry the Platypus. Uh, do you have any ideas?"

Perry crossed his arms.

"Right. Oh well. Why don't you come back tomorrow…Curse you, and all that." With that he walked off.

Perry sighed, and started to go, when Doof's head peered back through the door. "Um, Perry the Platypus?"

He turned.

"You want a soda or, I don't know, a banana or something? You seem to like bananas… here… have a banana!" He grabbed a banana out of the giant pile next to the inator, and held it out to him. "Go on. Don't worry, I didn't steal them, I paid for them. I figured I was going to get a return on my investment at the time… but, eh… whatever… anyway, now I've got a surplus. Take two!"

Perry reached for the banana; he was hungry… despite the fact the food being offered was from his nemesis.

Doof seemed to read the mistrust. "Why won't you… Oh they're not poisoned or anything Perry the platypus! That's just low! C'mon! Do you really think I'm going to stoop to those levels? Do you know me at all? How long have we been fighting?"

Perry rolled his eyes and took the banana. Alright already! Forgive me for thinking my evil nemesis would try to do me harm!

Doof still managed to look hurt, but he pealed a banana for himself, and took a big bite of it as he walked into the kitchen. He didn't bother to swallow before he started talking again. "Don't get the wrong idea or anything… I'm not going to start offering snack time as a part of our daily fights, but, eh… what else am I gonna do with 'em?" He came back in with two sodas, handing one to Perry, and pouring the other one down his throat.

Perry stared at him, and he just shrugged. "Yeah… this is a little… weird… but I am just so tired of the trap, back-story, thwart, with a show tune thrown in there every now and again, thing that we've got going, you know?"

Perry nodded.

"Before the whole Peel-innator thing, I was thinking about making an -inator that would make me less evil for a while, say, a week or so, just to give me a little break from all this rigmarole, what do you think, Perry the platypus?"

Perry crossed his arms, and went over to a pile of travel brochures Doof had stacked in the corner.

"Oh, oh! I just had travel brochures stacked in the corner conveniently, huh? Someone didn't want to come up with something a bit more creative? …. Oh. Sorry Perry the platypus, I didn't mean to go all fourth wall breaker on you there, but some people are just so lazy! What's this? A travel brochure? Wait, why are you giving it to me?"

Perry tapped the paper.

"Vacation in sunny…. Oh! Duh! A vacation! Why didn't I think of that? You are a genius Perry the platypus! I can just take a week off, and maybe do something with my daughter, Vanessa, and you can go do whatever it is you do, and then we can get all rested and back to normal! No -inator required! Wow! I feel better already! I'm glad we had this chat. Now, run along Perry the platypus… I've got some nothing to do!"

Perry let a smile spread over his face, and he held up the soda with a quick nod of his head, then ran to the window and dove out, letting his hang glider catch him.

Doof smiled back. "You're welcome Perry the platypus!"

To be continued...

A/N: This is a fan fiction, so, obviously, I am writing a story based on something that has been created by someone else. I am not trying to take credit for this, it's just for fun.

Please let me know if you see anyone acting out of character, or spelling mistakes, or if the plot gets too confusing or anything, and I'll try to fix it ASAP.

Thanks for reading!