I don't even know the purpose of this. It was just something I wanted to get out of my system because I was thinking about what Rick and Carol would say to each other when they finally meet!
As some of you may know FanExpo was last weekend in Toronto! I went to it and got the chance to meet tons of amazing people including some of The Walking Dead cast! It honestly made my life complete! I got to take a picture with Norman (Daryl) who was extremely nice and sweet and also got to talk to Michael Rooker (Merle) for a bit! it was a great experience and I am so glad I went!
Is Carol as cold as Rick thinks she is? AU Season 5, When Carol,Tyreese, and Judith reunite with the group while they are making their way to DC with Gareth. Yes this will be Caryl because they are my otp and I cannoot write them apart. Warning shots will be fired.
Carol, Tyreese, and Judith were on their way to Terminus when the herd struck. They were surrounded quickly so Carol had the idea to cover everyone in walker guts to disguise their body smells so they would be able to get through the herd. She had remembered Glenn and Rick tell her all about how walker guts will disguise people from walkers because it worked for them when they were in Atlanta. It was when Rick was first introduced to everyone back when the apocalypse was still young and hopes were still high. Michonne had also used that technique when she first made her way to the prison. After being completely covered they managed to escape the herd un-noticed but not by everyone.
"Holy shit" a voice said from behind the trio. Carol reached for her gun gripping Judith tightly against her as she turned around. When she turned her mouth dropped. She held her gun up for a while not really knowing what to do. She was shocked to see everyone from the prison staring back at her with equally surprised faces and even more surprised that Rick practically ran to her taking Judith and reuniting her with her brother. She finally decided to lower her gun as did the others and She looked over to Tyreese who looked like the happiest man alive as he ran over to his sister and graciously hugged her. Carol didn't move or say anything she just stared at the people in front of her. There were a couple she hadn't seen before and they looked confused at the whole ordeal.
"Are we going to keep moving or what?" A thin man said in a snarky tone, "I'm guessing you know these people..."
Rick nodded, "Gareth, this is my daughter," He said cradling his daughter tears coming out of both his and Carl's eyes. "That's Tyreese, Sasha's brother, and that's Carol" Carol didn't miss the way he said her name compared to Ty's or Judith's.
"Well welcome aboard," Gareth said, "we need to get to the shelter. Now."
"But what about-" Michonne tried to say but was cut off by the controlling man.
"We gave him directions he knows how to get there. Let's move."
Carol didn't miss how controlling Gareth sounded, it's like he was their leader whether they liked it nor not and it reminded her of Rick in a way back after the farm when they were in his dictatorship. The group continued on with their journey deciding it wasn't safe standing around like a bunch of sitting ducks. They listened as Tyreese explained his journey but Carol noticed he skipped everything involving Lizzie and Mika and she was glad for that. Gareth said they were really close to this cabin he scouted out.
Carol looked over at Rick to see where he stood with her but he was too busy rejoicing over his daughter being alive to do anything right now. Carol looked around the group and felt alienated so she trailed back farther from them and decided to spend her time alone but that didn't last long seeing as the new people decided to get acquainted with her when she rather not just in case she had to leave again.
They seemed really nice as they talked to Carol making her feel like she wasn't a cold hearted killer like she thought she was.
A couple minutes later the group found the old building they saved to hold up in. It was small and only had one room but it was something. One of the newer people, Abraham, started a fire, while everyone was getting settled down and ready to try and get some sleep. Carol felt out of place with these people even though she has been living with most of them for months and even years since the apocalypse began.
Carol got herself in the corner and cleaned herself off. She ignored the look Maggie gave her and finally had a good look at everyone. Rick and Carl were over the moon with joy that Judith was alive; Glenn and Maggie looked tired but were happy to be together, Sasha was close to Bob, Tara and Eugene, catching up with Tyreese, and Michonne, Rosita, Abraham, and Gareth were silently talking in the corner giving her occasional glances. People were missing. She looked around for Beth but didn't see her... Had she died trying to get out of the prison? Carol didn't even want to think about any more deaths after hearing about Hershel.
She knew someone was missing and then it all of a sudden hit her like a ton of bricks. Where was Daryl?
"Hey Carol" Tyreese said moving to sit beside her in the corner of the room, "Crazy how we found them. I thought we would never be able to find them let alone that they would be all together."
"They hate me, don't they?" She said finally voicing her fears.
"They don't hate you." Tyreese said, "They are happy to see you. Rick pulled me aside and told me everything. He was surprised to know you already told me and that I forgave you…"
He was surprised? Does Rick think Carol is so heartless she would keep that kind of secret from Tyreese especially in the circumstance they were in?
Everyone was brought out of their individual activities when loud banging could be heard on the door. Carol reached for her knife but was told it was all okay by Glenn. She was very glad but also very nervous when they opened the door and Daryl walked in. He took one look at Rick with Judith and locked eyes with him. Carol saw Daryl visibly smirk at seeing the baby and she smiled because she missed seeing Daryl give his smirks. When Daryl questioned about Judith she saw Rick motion towards her and Daryl turned his head locking eyes with her. His eyes were dark it almost looked as if they were unforgiving and Carol had enough. She moved farther back and watched as Rick and Gareth explained how they met up. Daryl dropped the string of squirrels he had caught hunting and moved far away from her sitting down by the fire.
"Carol we need to talk" Rick said pulling her aside. There was no point in trying to make this conversation secretive because of the room size where everyone would be able to hear them and it being unsafe to talk outside. Once they were a little bit farther he looked at her and back to his daughter. "Tyreese told us that you saved him... He also told us how you told him everything…"
Carol nodded, "He needed to know." She said clearly," The guilt was eating at me it was the right thing to do"
"He also told us you guys were with Lizzie and Mika... What happened to them because Ty said he would rather not talk about it"
Carol held back a breath and looked around seeing everyone now invested in what she was going to say next. She tried to make her voice even but had a hard time, "I should have seen it. I should have seen the signs but I was blind. Everyone was."
"What do you mean blind?" Rick said in a dark tone.
"Lizzie was different" her voice was wobbly and she pushed back tears, "She didn't think like us... She didn't think walkers were dangerous. She would rather kill living things than kill walkers" She put her head down, "but I didn't see it in time. I should have but I didn't. And because of that she killed Mika thinking everything was going to be okay"
Everyone almost gasped except for the newer group who just intently listened, Imagining the horror of it all.
"What did you do" Rick said his voice getting louder.
"I did what I had too!" Carol yelled back.
"You killed her!" Rick accused, "I knew you weren't the same person anymore... You're cold Carol."
Carol's heart nearly broke at Rick's words, "but she wasn't safe near us. She was going to kill Judith next!"
She saw the hatred in Rick calm down and get replaced with nausea, "She was what?"
"You heard me Rick. She was going to kill Judith. I had to do something! She was dangerous" Carol finally broke down, "I took her out by a bunch of flowers. She tried to apologize but didn't think I was mad about her killing her own sister she thought I was mad because she pointed her gun at me... I knew it then she was too far gone. I knew she was only going to get worse with this world. Sure I killed before Rick we all have but we had reasons for it. I killed to try and save everyone. I killed to try and stop the virus from spreading but... Killing Lizzie was the second hardest thing I ever had to do in my life."
The cabin was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Carol attempted to wipe her eyes but her tears kept coming. She was over whelmed with emotions.
"What was the hardest?" Tara suddenly spoke up breaking the silence that had enveloped them all.
"Watching my only daughter come out of a barn as a walker after we spent days looking for her." She glared at Rick, "That was worse than the years I spent married to my abusive husband. Worse than having you say to me that you didn't want me around your children, and worse than finding out about this goddamn apocalypse."
"That was not my fault" Rick was cut off when Carol continued.
"It was my fault. Everything was my fault. It was all my fault Mika died because I didn't see the signs Lizzie was showing and it was my fault I couldn't even keep an eye on my own daughter. Maybe I have gone cold. Is that what you wanted to hear Rick?" She said raising her voice, "I'm cold and heartless? Everything was my fault; I don't even know why you let me stay this long." There was resentment in her voice that she didn't try and hide.
"Was yer fault as much as anyone else's" Daryl's rough voice spoke out, "We all could have seen the signs for Lizzie but we didn't. Hell, I sent every day lookin for Sophia and didn't find shit. Maybe if I looked hard enough... and with Beth…" Daryl stood up and moved closer to her, "Don't you say this shit is your fault." His breaths were heavy and she could see the anger in his eyes.
"Then who's fault was it Daryl?" She said standing tall finally speaking to him, "I killed Karen and David. I thought I was saving everyone but it only made things worse…"
"We all make mistakes" He said looking around, "Don't say none of y'all mother fuckers are saints cause we ain't."
The room once again went silent as everyone took in what just happened. Daryl had hardly spoken to everyone since they reunited besides small conversations and he definitely hasn't talked about Carol even after Rick discussed with everyone what she had done to Karen and David.
"No one's hands are clean anymore" Abraham said stepping out, "Trust me you don't want to know all the shit I've done."
"Me too." Tara said keeping her head down, "Like Abraham said no one's clean... We have all done shit and honestly I regret it."
"Did you regret it?" Rick said looking into Carol's eyes.
"No" Carol answered, "I don't Rick. I was trying to save lives and I would never regret trying to save the people I care about."
Carol thought about her decision. No, she did not regret trying to save the prison. Karen and David were in terrible shape and weren't going to make the night anyways so it wasn't like they were going to recover and they would die before the medicine could reach the prison. She cared deeply for these people she would do anything for them.
"Nothing's changed" He said looking at her.
Carol looked at him and scoffed, "Did you regret killing Shane?"
"Don't go there" Rick yelled, "Don't you dare bring that into this!"
Things were getting heated between them and the tension in the room got very thick. It was all quite a show to the others who didn't know what they had been through but to the people who had experienced this with them were just reliving the nightmares.
"Guys… Calm down" Glenn said trying to step in, "Let's not say anything we'll regret later… Just take some time to cool down"
Carol and Rick locked eyes but didn't calm down like Glenn cautioned them to do.
"Oh yeah?" Carol laughed, "What about Michonne hmm? You were going to give her to the Governor just so the fighting could be avoided!"
"I backed out of that" Rick growled, "I regret doing that, at least I'll admit it"
"What about not letting Merle come back? You let Daryl leave! You let him leave because you didn't want Merle with us! We could have died when the Governor came back! Axel died and I was next…"
"I've made plenty of mistakes okay? Are you happy?" Rick said putting his hands over his face, "Hell I'm not proud of any of that shit but I am still me. I don't even know who you are anymore. The Carol I met back at the quarry was scared and defenseless."
"I grew" Carol said, "I changed" She started to tear up again, "I wasn't the old beat up housewife I was back at the quarry. The second I saw my daughter come out of that barn something changed and since then I've grown stronger. I'm not scared of men like I once was" She looked at everyone in the room and sighed, "We all changed. Look at Glenn. He is stronger than he was at the quarry, he's turning into a real leader and what about Daryl?" Everyone looked at Daryl but he only avoided eye contact, "Daryl was the rudest asshole at the quarry when his brother wasn't around but look at him now! Daryl is very close to all of us. He doesn't lash out like he once did and he stepped out to help others… We all saw the change in him, he changed for the better. Even you changed Rick..." She laughed.
"What's so funny?" Rick asked in a slightly lighter tone.
"Whatever happened to when you enforced, 'We don't kill the living'?" She said remembering when Rick pointed a gun at Daryl so he wouldn't kill Jim. Boy did everyone change so much, "Rick you've changed just as much as I have. You have just as much blood if not more on your hands then I do mine." And after she uttered those words she turned around and walked right out if the building slamming the door behind her.
Rick was speechless and walked away from the group distancing himself so he could think about stuff.
"That was like a soap opera" Gareth said sarcastically.
Glenn looked at him, "You don't know the half of it… We've been through a lot of shit since this started"
"Dramatic if you ask me" Gareth scoffed
"Did all that really happen to her?" Tara asked, "You know like with her daughter?"
Glenn nodded, "It was bad. Nobody should have to go through what she went through"
Carol sat outside in the cold weather not really caring if she was freezing her ass off. She didn't want to fight with Rick but he aggravated her and everything just came pouring out. She didn't regret what she said but she felt empty and unsatisfied. She started to cry and wrapped her arms around her body as she stared out on the deck of the cabin. She was glad there were no walkers nearby because she didn't feel like moving like she was stuck in place unable to move. She froze as the door opened and listened as whoever exited walk over to where she was.
"Please just leave me alone" She said not trying to hide the fact she was crying.
"Not goin ta happen" Daryl said as he sat down beside her.
"God, I messed this up haven't I?" She asked running her hand through her hair, "He hates me. He's going to make me leave and I don't blame him"
"Why didn't ya tell me?" Daryl said looking her in the eyes.
"You never asked" Carol said, "Rick straight up asked me and I didn't lie to him"
"It didn't seem like you" He said, "it's a new side of ya"
"So what you hate me too?" She questioned.
"No. Just tired of losing people"
Carol was surprised he didn't hate her. She gave a weak smile, "Thanks"
"What happened with Lizzie… Wasn't your fault"
"But it was"
"Don't put ya self down… Face it the kid was messed up. She was getting raised in this shit" He said motioning to the world, "Ain't good for anyone. Everyone's getting messed up"
Carol nodded, "Thanks… for everything Daryl but especially for sticking up for me back there"
Daryl smirked, "Was nothin. Just doin what was right"
"What happened with Beth?" She asked causing Daryl to freeze up, "Ty told me she was gone but won't say anymore…"
Daryl took in a deep breath, "We were together after the prison fell. Things were just lookin up when she got taken…"
"Taken? By who?"
"That's tha thing I don know" He looked down, "I chased the car but I..I lost the tracks… She was just gone. I tried to go after her but then I got mixed up with these other guys. They were reckless, nothing like us"
"What happened with them?" Carol asked putting her hand on Daryl's arm.
"They were lookin for a man who killed one of theirs… I just followed them not really knowing what ta do… It was Rick they were after and after I found out there was a fight and next thing ya know everyone of them is dead and I was back with Michonne, Carl, and Rick"
"That's terrible" Carol said tightening her grip, "We'll find her. Let's hope we do"
Daryl nodded, "After Rick told me you were gone I was mad… didn't even have time to think bout it though seein as what happened… just right after"
"I missed you" Carol said pulling his arm closer.
"I missed ya too" He said letting her pull him in, "I understand why ya did it… Rick does too. He just has to let it settle in his mind for a bit."
"And what if he says I have to go?" Carol said face to face with Daryl Dixon.
"Then I'll fight him against it. He doesn't get to make all the decisions, I ain't losin ya not again" He pulled Carol closer to him until their lips met. He pulled her in and she deepened the kiss wrapping her arms around his torso. When they broke apart Carol had tears in her eyes.
He got up and held his hand out to her. She grabbed it and slowly pulled herself up. After letting go of his warm hand she cautiously moved forwards to the door of the cabin. After returning inside everyone glanced at her. She saw the tension radiating off everyone and just wanted to disappear but this had to get done. She walked right up to Rick who was holding Judith and waited for him to pass her to Carl before speaking.
"I'm sorry" She said in a sincere tone, "I'm sorry for all the shit I brought up when I shouldn't have. I am sorry I acted as a child when we both could have been adults about this."
Rick looked at her and nodded his head, "I'm sorry too… For the way I've acted and leaving you. It wasn't my call but I took it and you understood."
"I'll be gone by tomorrow if that's what you and everyone else wants"
"I don't want you gone" Rick said surprising everyone, "Tyreese told me how you took care of Judith putting her and the girls first before anything else. I know you care, he told me how you decided to tell him the truth and if Tyreese can forgive you I know I can forgive you."
Carol had tears in her eyes once again and slowly nodded her head, "Thank you."
"I'm not sure if I trust you like I once had though"
"Understandable" Carol replied, "Thank you" she said again.
Carol moved away from Rick giving him more time to be with his children and moved back to the spot she was in before. She was alone and knew it would be that way for a while because gaining trust was harder than losing it. It surprised her when Glenn came up to her and hugged her tightly. She accepted the hug and hugged him back full force.
"Glad to see you back" He said, "I was so worried when I found out you weren't with everyone else but then after Rick said you were gone I was kind of relieved…" Glenn paused, "You wouldn't have wanted to see what went on that day at the prison… I didn't see a lot but just hearing the story makes me want to cry. I can't imagine what they went through"
"Thanks Glenn" She said letting go of him, "Do you think the others will ever forgive me?"
"In due time" He smiled, "So Carol… What is all this talk about me becoming a leader?"
Carol smiled for the first time in a long time and playfully smacked him, "It's true and don't deny it! I'm proud of how much you've grown"
"Same to you" He smiled getting up to go back with his wife, "I'll talk to you later"
Carol felt much better about everything. Things were looking up for her. She made peace with everyone and the fact that Daryl kissed her finally crossed her mind. She looked up and scanned the room locking eyes with the very blue eyes of Daryl Dixon. He got up and moved beside her.
"Hey" he said sheepishly sitting down beside her.
"Hey" She replied, She flinched back when Daryl grabbed her hand but he was quick and held on to it tight. It wasn't that Carol didn't want Daryl to touch her, because she did, it was just the fact that he was initiating it that startled her.
"So ya get to stay?" He asked with hopefulness in his eyes. Carol nodded and he pulled her in not caring that the others were all looking at them, "its bout time everyone got their heads straight"
They sat that way for a while accepting each other's embrace but something was still bugging Carol.
"Daryl?" She asked hoping he hadn't nodded off on her.
"Ya?" he replied obviously in and out of sleep.
"Why don't you hate me?"
"cause I love you" his response was said quickly and evenly like it was something he told her everyday and it took her off guard but she couldn't have cared less because she loved him just as much.
"I love you too" she said hugging him tighter.
"Never leave me?" He asked.
"I still got most of my nine lives, remember?" She responded back to him. She wasn't sure of what the future was going to bring or how it would unfold but as long as she had Daryl by her side she knew everything was going to be just fine.