A/N: Hello, this is a new story. I have always had this idea just in my head, and I know that it might be morbid of whatever, but I read this book a while back, and it's loosely based on that. Nothing that the author of that book wrote is in here, it's just in context. I hope you guys like it. I don't think I've ever written a Kurt/Nick friendship either, which is always fun to explore. Read and Review. I will try to get back to posting regularly, but you know... life and stuff. Thanks. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.

Chapter One: Lost in my Own Way

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On weekends, the dorms are abandoned. People go home to their families, spend the weekends with them. Kurt doesn't leave though. His father is away on business and his step-mother has gone with him, so he chose to stay at school this weekend. It's not all that bad though. Nick and Wes and Blaine are going to be there, and he can't complain about that. Of course, he's been alone before, it wouldn't bother him. He knows that people always leave, but he hopes they will stay this time. They're sitting in the Warbler common room, chatting amicably between themselves, Kurt just reading on the couch, Nick and Blaine on the other side of the room, talking about set lists. He would join the conversation, but he's come to the realization that his opinions don't really have any effect on the final decision anymore, so he's staying out of it. He just sings what Wes and David tell them to sing. Part of him wishes that he was going home tonight; he could curl up in his own bed, and watch the rain pour outside his window, listening to the mumbled sounds of his step-brother playing video games downstairs with Puckerman and Sam. To be honest, he doesn't know what he wants right now. He should be concentrating on the book that he's reading, but it's difficult. There are so many things going through his mind lately, he hasn't been able to focus on much. Sleeping doesn't help either, because he dreams of the things that keep him awake, and he wonders if talking to the Councillor would actually help the nightmares that recur every night. Blaine would freak if he knew that he wasn't sleeping. He and the lead Warbler have been dating for almost six months now. They haven't had sex yet, they're waiting for the right time, and there are still so many things about his life that Blaine doesn't know about.

Mercedes would tell him to stop being such an idiot and just tell Blaine about it, but she doesn't understand how hard it is to talk about. He was five years old when his mother took off and left him at a gas station, miles from home. He's been through more in his life before eighteen, than any other kid his age. He's gay as well, and in Lima, that was hard for him to comprehend. Now he's here at Dalton, free to be himself, and it's like there's a wall preventing him from truly embracing that part. Maybe Rachel is right; he's not the same person he used to be last year. But alot of things have changed since then too. Wes enters the room at this point, shouting about having a "Camp out" in the common room, with movies and popcorn, and Nick and Blaine agree, following the head council member out to their Worthington House common room. Kurt didn't move, but it wasn't unusual. Blaine would be back in to get him shortly, and this way, he can finish his book without distractions. They're the only three from their house left for the weekend anyway, so he'd rather not waste the time he has to study. Like clockwork, Blaine arrives back in the Warbler common room, and sits down beside Kurt, kissing his cheek, and leaning his head on the taller boys shoulder. The countertenor smiles, and marks his position in the book, standing and holding out his hand for Blaine, who takes it, smiling when Kurt pulls him in for a kiss, and they head out of the room, taking the short trip across the yard to Worthington House.

'I really think we should watch Red 2. Hello Helen Mirren,' Wes said, as Kurt and Blaine joined them

'I don't want to watch that movie. Why not Monsters University? Blaine hasn't seen it yet, and I know Kurt hasn't seen it,' Nick replied, winking at the two who nodded

'Okay, I can deal with that. Monster's it is. I'll go get it,' Wes said, running out of the common room

'Thank god you convinced him to watch that movie,' Blaine said, as Kurt curled up to him on the couch, under the light blanket Nick had handed them.

It was cold. He knew that much. His mother had been in such a hurry to get them out of the house, she had forgotten to pack him a sweater to wear over the polo he currently had on. His jeans barely covered his ankles, and his father's hat was too big for his small head. They were driving fast, the trees blurred out the window; his mother looked terrified in the driver's seat beside him. He wanted to understand why she had taken him from his father, and headed into the distance, leaving the large white house behind him, his father running after the car, screaming for them to turn around. He was scared, confused and cold. But the heater in the car doesn't work, and his mother is frantic. So he sits in silence as she drives, further and further from his father and from Lima where they live. Somewhere along the way, he falls asleep, and when he wakes, they're stopped at a gas station in a town, two hours away from his father. Kurt gets out of the car, seeing his mother filling the tank. She doesn't say anything to him, just stares at him like he's not there. He tells her that he needs to use the toilet, and she finishes with the gas, grabbing his small hand, and leading him to the toilets out the back. She leaves him alone to pay for the petrol, promising she'll come back and get him so he doesn't get lost. He's five years old, of course he believes that she's going to come back and get him. She's his mother after all. But when Kurt gets out of the bathroom, his mother isn't at the counter, nor waiting for him at the door. He heads out to where the car was, and sees it's gone. He doesn't know whether or not she's coming back, so he sits on the edge of the step near the door, knees pulled up to his chest, trying to fight off the cold. She left him here, alone, in the cold, miles away from the home he knows so well.

The day turns to night, and more and more people walk past the little boy curled into himself by the door to the gas station. They walk in and out, right past him, not even seeing him. He's only five, but he knows that his mother has left him there, he knows, deep down that she's not going to come back for him, but he doesn't know how to call his father, he doesn't have the number. Even if he did, the man behind the register probably wouldn't let him use the phone. The Ohio air is freezing at night, it's starting to affect him, his teeth are chattering, and his hands feel like they're frozen. Closing his eyes, Kurt wonders if this is a dream, if maybe he's still in the car with his mother and this is all in his imagination, but then he hears voices, and opens his eyes. He's still at the gas station... alone and cold. A white van pulls into the gas station, and a young woman gets out of the car, her young son with her. She sees him sitting there, and kneels down beside him.

'Hi there, my name is Mandy, this is my son Nick. Are you waiting for someone?' she asked, as the little boy smiled at him

'My mommy left me here. I wanna go home,' Kurt managed to squeak out, and the woman's face fell, tears in her eyes as she scooped Kurt up in her arms

'Where do you live? Can you remember?' she asked, as Nick helped her to put Kurt in the van, she was going to take this little boy home to his father

'Lima, Ohio, my daddy lives there,' Kurt replied, and the woman burst into tears

'Okay, I'm going to take you home,' Mandy said, closing the door to the van and moving to get in the driver's seat, Nick buckling himself in beside Kurt.

Kurt didn't say anything the whole way back to Lima, but the police cars out the front of the house when they arrived, and Kurt's father watching the van pull up, made Kurt sit up straight in his seat. Mandy helped him out, and Kurt ran into his father's arms. Burt Hummel thanked the woman for bringing him home, offered her a reward, but she didn't want anything, just Kurt home safe. He thanked her again, and took Kurt inside, not letting him go as he turned on the heaters, and the fire, and made Kurt food...

Kurt woke in a sweat, the memory vivid in his mind. He hadn't had a dream about that moment for a while, but these weekends proved that alot of weird things were happening. Finn had called him before he'd fallen asleep and asked if he was coming home, because he wanted to stay at Puck's, to which Kurt had let him. It's not like they never spend time together, but Finn deserves to have time with his friends. Blaine is still entranced in the movie on the screen, and Kurt realises that he's been asleep for almost two hours, as they've changed the movie now to MacGruber. It takes him a moment to re-adjust to the light and the movie change, but soon enough he can hear Wes' voice behind him, calling for more food. Blaine kisses his temple, noticing he's awake and stands to get them more food, knowing Wes would completely destroy everything. Since Kurt transferred to Dalton last year, he's become good friends with most of the Warblers, but he's probably closest with Nick, in the sense that he'd consider Nick his best-friend, like he does Blaine his boyfriend. The movie is paused, giving them the chance to listen to the two people in the kitchen arguing about what food they can eat, and whether or not they should order pizza. Nick laughs and moves over to where Kurt is sitting, showing him the photo he took on his phone of Jeff splayed out on the floor two weeks ago, after an intense six hour Warbler rehearsal. Kurt chuckles as he listens to his friend talk about his boyfriend. Everyone who knows Nick and Jeff knows they've been together for practically ever. Nick was the one who told Kurt that Blaine liked him before they got together, and it took them long enough when it happened. He's also the son of the woman who brought him home to his father thirteen years ago, after his mother had abandoned him. They don't talk about it, when Kurt first transferred here; he made Nick promise he wouldn't bring it up.

Of course, both boys now understand what really went down that day; they've been friends since back then. Mandy would bring Nick over to play, and Burt would take Kurt over there. When they became teens, they went to different schools, but managed to stay in contact. Blaine went to McKinley on the request of Nick to bring Kurt here, and now they've been able to become almost as close as brothers. Finn gets along with Nick well too, so it makes it alot easier. Kurt knows that he has to tell Blaine about this, but there has never really been any good time to share. Nick stood to go and see what was taking Wes and Blaine so long with the food, leaving Kurt to think back over the dream he'd had. His father had never told him the reason his mother took him in the first place, or why she was the way she had been that day, he'd never asked though, so maybe he was closer to answers than he thought. Before he had time to text his father, Blaine and Wes came back into the room, carrying what looked to be half the freaking kitchen, making Kurt chuckle as Blaine had to fight to keep the things on the table as Wes just dropped them. Blaine returned to the couch, curling up to Kurt, who smiled and pressed a kiss against his boyfriend's cheek, before grabbing the remote from Wes, who pouted and threatened the use of Mr. Bangy, to which Kurt feigned fright, and laughed as Nick started pulling faces from behind the head Warbler. The movie was re-started and played through the silence, which was also interrupted by Wes eating popcorn and laughing whenever something funny happened. Kurt just stayed curled to Blaine, wondering if maybe he should ask his father about the events of that day, coming to the conclusion that dredging up bad memories from the past wouldn't do them any good. As far as Kurt knows, his mother is dead. It's harsh, but that's the reality you're faced with after being abandoned at a gas station miles from home.

'This movie is ridiculous,' Kurt said, as the credits rolled

'I have to agree, that was weird,' Blaine said, grabbing his phone to check the time

'I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm so tired,' Nick said, saying goodnight as he left the other three boys sitting there

'I think we need to watch another movie, and order pizza. Come on, Nicky's going to bed early, we can be night owls,' Wes replied, pulling out his phone to order pizza, whilst Kurt and Blaine just ignored him

When Wes had passed out on the couch in the common room, Kurt and Blaine headed up to their dorm room, to ready themselves for bed. The bed in their room is double, but they don't do anything they're not comfortable with, and they haven't felt the need to have sex yet, they're only eighteen, plenty of time for that kind of thing. Nick has told him all about his escapades with Jeff, most of which Kurt wishes he could un-hear. Blaine believes that they'll both know when they're ready, and when the time comes, they'll be mature enough to talk about it. Finn even thinks that it's weird they haven't had sex, but also told Kurt that he's not allowed to let Blaine rush it, or he'll deck the guy. Kurt had to laugh when he found out how protective of him Finn had become. Even Puckerman had threatened bodily harm on Blaine and the Warblers. It was nice to know that he had great friends and a brother who love him unconditionally, especially after the life he's had. Puckerman had been mad when he heard about Kurt's past. He was practically radiating fury, and Kurt was a little afraid the boy would attack him, but Puck just hugged him, and told him that he knows what it's like to have a parent abandon you, that if he needs to talk, he could. Kurt had seen a side of Puckerman that day that he didn't think he'd ever see. Blaine was talking about Warbler rehearsals when Kurt climbed into bed beside him. It was amazing, that the staff at Dalton hadn't found out about the sleeping arrangements that Kurt and Nick had made for themselves. Blaine and Jeff were roommates, and Nick was bunking with Kurt, but on weekends, they would switch, and Nick would stay with Jeff whilst Blaine stayed with Kurt.

Kurt knew that shutting Blaine up would result in trouble, but he couldn't help himself. He leaned over to kiss Blaine, making the other boy stop mid sentence to return the kiss, laying Kurt back so he could deepen it. The countertenor chuckled as Blaine tried to shift their positions to get more comfortable, but ended up almost rolling them out of the bed. Once again, he was silenced by lips meeting his, as their make out session continued, both knowing that tomorrow, when the other boys starting arriving back for Monday classes the following day, they wouldn't be able to do this much. Of course, one would have thought that having been tired when they'd decided to go to bed, they would have fallen straight to sleep, but Blaine seems to have found a new burst of energy that is propelling them to areas they aren't ready to fly to yet. That doesn't mean they're going to stop though, eventually, they'll tire and then everything will go black as they fall asleep in each other's arms. Cheesy, he knows, but Kurt has allowed himself to live in this fantasy life for so long, sometimes it's hard to return to the real world, to understand the real love that he has with Blaine. Finn told him once, that he sometimes stares off into the distance, out the window, like she's going to come back or something, but he just shrugs it off, by telling him not to mention her, and Finn leaves, defeated once more. If he's trying to help, he's going the wrong way about it. Brittany is more of a help than he is, and sometimes, she has no idea what's going on. Kurt breaks the kiss first, snuggling up to Blaine, wrapping his arms around him as he falls into sleep, a content smile on his face, hoping that his dreams don't involve waking up in a cold sweat, with Blaine beside him, because then he'll have to explain to the boy that he loves so deeply about his fucked up past. Blaine kisses his forehead, and whispers goodnight, snuggling down under the covers to shield them from the cold air around them... a cold Kurt knows all too well...

When Kurt woke the next morning, his father was asleep on the couch in his bedroom. They had put it in there to sleep on when Kurt was having nightmares earlier, but now its use is clear. The five year old sits up, rubbing his eyes to rid himself of the final remnants of sleep and begins to wonder when on earth he managed to get into bed, realising that his father must have carried him up when he was asleep. Burt stirs from his slumber, rubbing his eyes, and sitting up, coming face-to-face with his son, who he immediately pulls into another hug when he walks over to say good morning. He hasn't had the chance to ask Kurt what happened, but after he's been fed, they're going to spend the day together, having a chat. Kurt smiles at his father, but Burt can tell it's not a full smile, it doesn't reach his sons eyes, and he still feels like he's cold, even though the heaters are on, and he's rugged up from head to toes. Kurt can still feel that cold, even though he's inside, it's like its permanently inside his body, slowly freezing him to death. He shakes his head, trying not to remember that his mother had driven off, leaving him there alone. He does remember the woman and her son Nick, who had found him and brought him home. Kurt wondered if his father would drive him over to say thank you. Nick seemed nice; maybe he and Kurt would be friends... Kurt's always wanted a brother, maybe Nick could pretend that he is or something.

'Daddy, why is all the warmers on?' Kurt asked as he followed the balding man downstairs

'You were freezing last night Kurt when Mandy brought you home, so I wanted to get you warm. Do you feel warmer son?' Burt asked, flicking on the kitchen light

'No, I feel cold still. Why did mommy leave me there?' Kurt asked, and Burt tried to stop himself from bursting into tears as he turned around and knelt down in front of his son

'When you're older Kurt, I'll explain it to you. Right now, how about breakfast? Then we can go see Nick again if you like. Mandy gave me their address,' Burt said, and Kurt grinned happily, moving to help his father.

Burt wanted to get home as soon as possible. Carole was hurrying beside him. He knew he wouldn't be home in time for Kurt to come back, but at least he'd have the option. He had promised his son he would never leave, and Kurt knew that he would be back, but it still didn't mean he wouldn't keep his promises. He and Carole hurried through the airport to get to their car and drive back to Lima. Carole hoped her son hadn't destroyed their house with Puckerman and Sam over the weekend, but knew that Finn was a good kid, and even without Kurt, he wouldn't do anything stupid. Still he's a boy, and when those three get together, they spell trouble with a capital T. She also knew that Burt had to be home by three, because that's what time Kurt would be calling him. She had been told about his past, and was actually hurt that a mother could do that to their child, the way Kurt's had done to him. He was five years old. It was lucky that Mandy Duval had come along when she did, otherwise Kurt might not have gotten home to his father. So it was justified that her husband would be a little tense as they threw their bags into the car, and climbed in, speeding off out of the airport, heading back to their house. Carole took his spare hand, and smiled when Burt turned to look at her, he kissed her hand, whispering 'I love you'. They had the silent talk between them... this would be a long weekend for them, and the only time Kurt wouldn't be home from Dalton with them. Maybe they could salvage a little of their trip? Provided they could get rid of Finn... It shouldn't be too hard, her son is easily persuaded, and Puckerman is always happy for the quarterback to stay at his house whenever he's kicked out by his parents. In a loving way of course, just so they can have some time to themselves.

When they did get home, Finn was crashed on the couch in the lounge, snoring, unaware that his parents were home, and watching him. Carole clapped loudly, and Finn groaned as he landed on the floor below him, Carole laughing as Burt moved into the kitchen to wait for Kurt to call. Finn hugged them both, and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, to continue sleeping, considering it is Sunday morning and he was rudely awoken by his parents. Carole took their bags upstairs, and changed, before checking the clock. It's seven am, Kurt won't be awake yet, but she knows Burt won't move until his son calls, he doesn't want to give Kurt a reason to think that he's not there to answer the phone, like he promised. The travelling kills him, he hates it, but its part of the job he's doing, so he has to deal with it like everyone else. Part of him does it because he wants to forget about the past, and maybe find himself some answers, the other part wants to find the woman who abandoned their son miles from home without so much as an explanation, confront her, ask her why she did it, even though he knows that will never happen. He'd have no idea where to start looking. He doesn't even know why he wants to start looking. Kurt stopped asking him questions six years ago, when he found him on the bathroom floor. He hasn't asked about her again, but Burt can tell that he wants answers... they both do. He sits by the phone, waiting for his son to call him, hoping that Kurt hasn't forgotten their tradition when Burt goes away... hoping that he's safe with Blaine and Nick.

When Kurt woke up on Sunday morning, he was sure that Wes would have been the one to wake them up, bursting into their room with some ridiculous activity or something. Kurt was surprised to find that it was just him and Blaine in the room, the lead Warbler was already up and dressed when Kurt sat up, rubbing his eyes, and smiling at his boyfriend. He set himself a reminder to call his father, but he didn't want to wake them, it's only seven fifteen. No doubt his father would be sitting by the phone waiting for him to call; Kurt loves his father for it. Blaine was just watching Kurt, almost in a way that made the taller boy want to hide back under the covers, instead, Kurt asked what he was staring at, climbing out of the warmth of their bed, and walking over to him. Blaine just says that he's taken aback by Kurt's beauty, to which the countertenor chuckles and calls him cheesy, kissing him once, before heading into the shower to ready for the day. Blaine just moves to make the bed and smiles to himself, knowing that he wouldn't change anything he has, for this moment right now. Kurt had decided whilst he was dressing, that he would call his father on the way to breakfast. The best thing about being at Dalton on the weekend was the cafeteria was still open for the students. They had a wide variety of things to meet the needs of their students. Blaine had made the bed and was waiting for Kurt when he exited the bathroom, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, smiling when Blaine wolf whistled, linking their arms as they headed out the door to where they would meet Nick and Wesley. Kurt took their walk to call his father.

'Hey dad, glad to hear you got home okay,' Kurt said, winking at Blaine who just smiled, leading them to the main building where the cafeteria was located

'Kurt, I've been waiting for you to call. I had a great trip, Carole had a blast too. She and Finn say hi. What have you been up to?' Burt asked, and Kurt could hear the inquisitiveness in his voice, but also the humour, as if he and Blaine would have gotten up to anything

'We watched movies, camped out in the common room, spray painted a couple of buildings, you know, the normal... oh and Blaine and I totally had sex' he said jokingly, but Blaine's head snapped to meet his so fast, Kurt had to laugh at his boyfriend's expression, Burt chuckling when he heard Blaine's "don't say that to him Kurt... I don't want to be shot".

'I take it you're joking? You come talk to me before you do anything like that Kurt. I love you son,' Burt said, and Kurt replied with 'I love you too dad', before saying goodbye and kissing Blaine's cheek in apology.

When they got to the cafeteria, Blaine went off to help Wes, and Nick and Kurt sat down at one of the tables, watching the two boys arguing about what food they could eat. Nick had to laugh when Wes tried to run off and leave Blaine to carry everything, and the lead Warbler pulled him by the collar to stop him. It was quite humorous. When they were finally joined at the table, Kurt and Blaine linked their hands on top of the table, laughing at something Nick had told them about a text from Jeffery. In about two hours, the other students would be returning to Dalton, and they would be returning to their usual routines, classes, Warbler rehearsals, and hanging out in their respective dorms each night. Right now though, Wes has decided that he's going to spend the time preparing the next two weeks of Warbler material, telling Kurt that he needs to find out what's happening at McKinley. Kurt just flips him off, and Nick hi-fives him. This is going to be a long day, but figuring that it will be better than the school being dead, Kurt decides to take Blaine up on his offer of hitting the library to study for their upcoming AP English exam.

A/N: First chapter reposted because I made some changes. Nick/Kurt friendship, Kurt/Blaine relationship, with lots of sap and Warbler's thrown in. I love this story, and I hope you guys like it too. Let me know. Next Chapter: Kurt starts having nightmares again, and Nick tries to convince him to tell Blaine what's going on, which leads to Kurt making a choice about the Warblers. Read and Review. JusticeIsn'tEasy0083. D.