Chapter 1 - Told from Katie's p.o.v.

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I'm tired of this. Just exhausted. It's been what? Seven days since I've heard from her. One whole week. One week of looking at my phone, waiting for it to ring. Leaving her messages…not too many, mind you. Just a casual message here and there letting her know I'm still here and I'm still interested. Granted, she seemed pretty damn flakey, but seven days? How can you have five awesome, near-perfect dates with someone and then not even bother to cast a glance in their general direction for seven days after? I really gotta let go of the 'seven days thing.' Really. I swear, normally I'm not this neurotic. And I'm pretty damn self-sufficient and independent and really not obsessive. But girls are just so damn confusing. I thought this would be simple. I decided to start dating women because that's where I truly felt I belonged. I mean, if you think about it, it's a matter of taste and tolerance, really. Guys are emotionally vapid. Girls are emotional unbalanced. So I had a decision to make. Did I want emotional retardation in my life? Or emotional instability. At least with instability, it makes things more interesting. So that's the way I decided to go. Of course, there were other contributing factors, but we don't need to get into that now. Right now, I just need to face the facts that, as much as this damn phrase is being thrown around these days, she's just not that into me. Whatever. I never really met an Amanda I liked anyway.

"Will you stop stressing over this girl? She's not worth it." My roommate Jamie is tired of my brooding. She's supportive, of course. But I can tell she'd like the old Katie back. The one before I got caught up in a two week-long whirlwind of hurricane Amanda.

"I'm not stressing. I'm officially done. I swear."

"Right. Well, I know you've comfortably fermented your ass on the couch, but it's a nice evening. Maybe you can go for a long walk, or something." Jamie often tries hard to be like a mother figure. Maybe because my actual mother isn't the most ideal. But that's a whole other story.

"Is that code for: Kevin's coming over and I need the place to myself?" I ask her.

Jamie looks down. "I don't know."

In 'Jamie world', that means yes. I get up, leaving a perfect ass print in the material of our couch. "Now that's a work of art," I acknowledge. "I'll just head to my room. You won't even know I'm here."

Jamie stops me before I get to the hall. "Katie, I think you should go with your plan B."

"Plan B?"

"Yeah…that girl you've been talking to. The one you've been emailing and texting. What's her name? Jessie?"

Ah Jessie. Yes. Funny thing about online dating services. You meet a lot of interesting people. Some turn out to be raving psychos and some, not so bad. I'm new to the online dating world. Don't judge. I just thought it would be easier than bar-hopping and honing my not-so-finely-tuned gaydar. I swear, it's damn near impossible for me to clue in on who I can hit on without being completely rejected. So I decided to take Jamie's advice and sign up for an online match site. I've gone out with three girls from this site, and only recently started talking to this one girl named Jessie. She's cute…at least from her picture. And incredibly smart…at least from her emails. And has quite the biting wit. Her quips while texting me often make me laugh out loud. We've been emailing back and forth for a few weeks now. But we haven't met yet. I wanted to see how things went with Amanda first. Don't get me wrong. I used to be quite the player. Dating two or three people at a time. But I wanted to go about things differently this time. I'm 25 years old. It's about time I at least attempt to start growing up…a little.

I bashfully smirk at Jamie's suggestion, suddenly feeling very shy. That's a rather odd feeling for me. "I don't know."

"Why not? You totally should. She seems cool."

"I just…I don't know. What if it turns out to be a disaster like the rest of them? I kind of like that air of mystery she has going for her."

"Air of mystery?" Jamie scoffs. "You mean the fact that you haven't met her? Yes, quite mysterious indeed." She walks over to the desk, grabs my cell phone, and puts it in my hand. "Call her."

I hesitate for a moment.

"Do I have to give you one of my speeches?"

I shake my head. "No. No, I'll do it." I lower my head in defeat, walk into my room and close the door. I can feel my hands shake as I dial her number. I sit on my bed and hold my breath. The phone rings and rings and I'm about to lose consciousness from my lack of breathing until I finally hear her voicemail pick up. "Hi, you've reached Amanda. I can't answer the phone right –" Click. I hang up. That's it. I'm done. Officially done. Why did I even call her again? All right. My craziness has officially subsided. Back to cool, calm, collective Katie now. I turn my attention back to my phone and this time, call a different number.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jessie? It's Katie," I say – a little too quickly and definitely too loudly.

"Hey! Wow…you called me."

She seems genuinely glad to hear from me.

"Yeah. Sorry. I know it's out of the blue. I hope that's okay," I say, still too quickly. Pace yourself, Singer. Breathe.

"No, it's fine. Really."

I get up from my bed and start perusing through my closet just to occupy myself. I can't stand to be idle while on the phone. I don't know why, but for some reason I believe the person on the other end of the phone can actually see me. And if I'm doing nothing, then they'll know what a boring existence I lead. So, off to the closet I go. Wow. I really need some new clothes. And I suddenly realize I haven't said anything for a full thirty seconds.

"Oh. So…how are you?"

"I'm good. Just enjoying my Saturday."

I really need to organize my closet. I kneel down and start lining my shoes up properly. "Well, that's good."

Silence.

"Yeah." Silence. "Are YOU enjoying your Saturday?"

It's obvious we're sinking. Apparently phone conversations our neither of our strong suits.

"Yeah…sort of. Actually, I'm kind of bored. Um…I was wondering if you wanted to meet for a drink, or something."

"Yeah. I'd love to. That would be great."

I smile to myself. She answered awfully quickly. Maybe she's just as nervous as I am. Or maybe I should stop overanalyzing the situation and actually speak. Still on my knees, I have now moved on to organizing my underwear drawer, which fits so perfectly in the corner of my closet.

"Okay. There's this bar on Hammel Street called Ruby Blues. Eight o'clock sound okay?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

"Great. So I'll see you then. Call me if you get lost."

"Okay. And Katie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you called." And at that, she hung up.

I ponder those words for a minute and then realize that eight o'clock is only an hour away. I look up at my clothes dangling in my closet, teasing me. Everything I own suddenly seems so dull and out of date.

"Great," I sigh. "What the hell am I gonna wear?"