Lantis and the Thanksgiving Mishap
This story is really old; I think it was written my freshman year of highschool or even earlier than that! That's over six years ago. But it's important to me, so I thought I'd put it up.
"Mokona . . . get off, you . . . stupid little rat! I . . . Agh! Mokooona!!!"
The furry white creature hopped off Lantis' head, waking him as it revealed a crushed Primera, simply bounding off with a little cry of "Puu, puu!". Primera whined in complaint.
"Laaaannntiiiisss... Why won't you keep that annoying little fluff-ball away from meeee!!???" she cried, straining herself into a knock-kneed position. Lantis only nodded in solemn agreement.
"Yes, it truly is an annoying little ball of fluff, Mokona, but I do not understand why you cannot learn to live with it." The coldness of his voice normally caused others to shy in fear, but not Primera. Of course, perhaps she was simply not intelligent enough to see that Lantis had no concerns for her, even though she followed him everywhere.
Primera sighed. "Yeah, Lantis. I guess you're right." She dismounted his shoulder and fluttered through the doorway, cheerfully straightening up. "C'mon Lantis! Why don't we get some breakfast?"
"Why not..." Lantis softly replied, halfway to himself.
He exited the room along with Primera, his heavy boots clicking with every step on the palace flooring. Hikaru attempted to pass on his right, a task which she usually succeeded in, but he stopped her this time.
"Hikaru," Lantis asked. "Exactly where are you going?"
"J-just to my bedroom to get a robe..." she replied unsteadily. "Lantis, where are y-you going?"
"Just to the kitchen. Meet me there in a moment, if you will, Hikaru," Lantis answered, holding back the burning desire to wink, as it was very out-of-character for him.
"Uh, please, I'd rather not," Hikaru meekly replied. "I-if you don't mind." She edged away and left.
"Ohhhh!" Primera whined again, assuming the knock-kneed position she often held when irritated - which she was often. "Why are you being so sweet around that Hikaru!? Am I not good enough for you, Lantis!?"
"That is none of your concern," Lantis replied, like he did every time Primera asked him this.
"Hmph!" she replied folding her arms, fluttering angrily. "Fine. Be that way you selfish..."
Lantis looked at her with his ever-piercing gaze - enough to strike intimidation into even the most seasoned warrior, and she stopped. "Aeh... Er… D-don't worry about that, Lantis. I forgot I was talking to you... Honest." She fluttered off, cursing under her breath, obviously miffed.
Lantis returned to looking at the hallway ahead until they finally made it to the kitchen. Eagle was there, sitting at the table with Presea. Both were drinking their morning tea. Lantis almost laughed, knowing that Eagle's was probably not tea, but sugar diluted with tea. Eagle and his sugar… What a concept. Lantis walked to the table and sat down.
"Hello, Eagle. How are you this morning?" he asked the lithe figure sitting across from him. Eagle looked up from his teacup.
"I'm splendid. And already on my sugar high at 7:13 AM. That's a new record, I believe." His voice was so calm, collected like he was unemotional, absolutely secure. He had a way of hiding his true emotion, but Lantis could always see when he was hiding a sugar high. There would just be this glint in his eyes - something that gave it away instantly.
Lantis held back a laugh. "Eagle, you are not. When you're on your sugar high, you're bouncing off the walls, practically." Eagle smirked lightly, then closed his eyes with a smile, tilting his head in that ever-familiar way of his.
"How do you know I wasn't before?"
"He wasn't," Presea replied. "Believe me, I've been up long before him." Eagle gave her a forlorn look.
"Presea, you've gone and ruined my fun again." He tilted his chair back, folding his arms at his chest. "Why must you always…?"
"Eagle, there's no reason for that," Presea replied, standing up, and taking both their empty teacups to wash.
"You're right," he replied, standing with a flourish, whipping his cloak around his form, as he lowered his head momentarily. Though, it was soon raised again, eyes locking with Lantis's. "I'd better be going. Pole vaulting lessons. Clef's gonna teach me."
Lantis's face contorted into a grimace. "…Pole… vaulting lessons?… Clef?"
"Indeed," the Autozamian commander replied, reaching down for his cup of tea, however frowning once he saw Presea had already taken it.
Lantis shook his head, wondering what was the fault for Eagle's unusual reply. Or, perhaps it was the truth, and it was just he that was suffering. "And you'd better take a nap this afternoon. You're slurring your words again. Did Zazu give you any of his wine?"
"Maybe a little..." Eagle answered, eyes looking a little funny all of a sudden. "I don't remember..."
"What? Repeat that."
"Maybe a little... I don't remember... Maybe a little... I don't remember... Maybe a..." Eagle repeated, though several times more than Lantis wanted.
Lantis's hand tangled in his hair, realizing he was already getting a migraine from the insanity Cephiro had become - and ultimately, the selected few from other planets who were staying. "Then I suppose I can safely assume he did. Go sleep it off. I'll tell Clef."
"No, I can go, I'm fine..."
"Go to bed," Lantis said flatly.
"But..."
"Go!"
"Fiiiine...." Eagle crossed to the sink and picked up the teacup of his which Presea had left there, and took a long swig of mainly sugar, then left out the side door to his bedroom. Lantis turned to Presea.
"Zazu did… give him the alcohol... didn't he? I hear you see everything that happens in this castle."
"I don't know if he did or not. You must've heard wrong. But Clef does; he's the Guru, you know. I'm only a Farl." she replied, stepping aside for Lantis to leave if he wished.
Yet, that was about when LaFarga walked in with Caldina by his side. "And then he stole his flying fish... and sold it on the Chinese black market for about three hundred sixty dollars. A little pricey if you ask me, considering the fact that the fish wasn't in the best of condition..."
Caldina laughed and hugged him around the shoulders, standing on her tiptoes so to do this. "LaFarga, yo' stories sure are great!"
"Hey, hey. I'm not done," he replied, embracing her back, however slightly. "Hey Lantis, Presea. How are things? I was just telling Caldina about the strange story I thought of..."
"Yah," Caldina replied. "He was a'tellin' me 'bout these two guys, and they were, like, stealin' stuff and gettin' all mad at each other... they's about to beat my LaFarga up fer no reason at all! I'm wondrin' why he had ta go an' make up a story like that!"
Lantis smiled sarcastically as Presea giggled. "A story? Well, I'm sure we all would like to hear it. How about if you sit down and tell it to us?"
At that moment, Clef teleported into the room, a calm expression was on his face. "Where in Cephiro is that Eagle Vision? He was to meet me in the garden for pole-vaulting lessons..."
Caldina suddenly lost it, beating her fist on the ground as she laughed uncontrollably. "Y'mean you was gonna have some pole vault thingy in the garden? Y'is tellin' me the plain 'n' simple truth, Clef? Y'gotta be kidding me!"
Clef regarded her with a cold gaze. "Yes, that is what we planned, and there is absolutely no reason for you to laugh about it."
"Then, Clef..." Lantis interrupted, slowly stepping up to the old - yet, quite short Master Mage far beyond the true age of his appearance, tilting his chin upward. The height difference between them was ridiculous, but Lantis's height was ridiculous in itself. "Why didn't you know Eagle was in his bedroom? I thought you know everything that goes on in this castle."
"You thought wrong, Lantis," Clef answered, clearly far irked beyond normal. "I guess I will be going... If Eagle is no longer planning his lesson..."
"He's not," Presea answered. "Truth is, at least today. He's had a little... He's been... agh... Don't worry about it. Go ask Zazu or something." Clef looked at her sideways.
"Zazu? …" Then, it seemed a realization came to him, and he tangled his hand in his hair just as Lantis had before. Perhaps a migraine was about to take him as well. "You can't be telling me…"
Presea nodded somberly. "He went and got drunk."
Clef gave a heavy sigh. "One should never pole-vault drunk. Believe me… there have been some horrible accidents that way."
"Now kin my LaFarga tell you's that story he was a'plannin' to tell y'all like, a second ago?" Caldina asked, fairly polite for the extent of her vocabulary.
"Yes, yes. Go on ahead," Lantis answered with a wave of his hand. Just as LaFarga opened his mouth to speak, Clef opened his.
"What story is this you speak of?"
"Y'know, the story..." Caldina explained, however indeed vaguely. Clef twitched uncomfortably, and fell over sideways. Lantis caught him, looking a bit worried.
"Clef, are you well?" The Master Mage's left eyebrow twitched like mad… He looked extremely annoyed. An abnormally large bead of sweat ran down the side of his face.
"No. Not at all…!"
"Just tell it," Lantis spoke under his breath, face red as he restrained the peeved Mage. LaFarga began, looking a little nervous at Clef's state.
"Well, there were these two guys I used to know. Their names were Brillo Pad and Saran Wrap. They were knights of Pantrylot. Brillo had a very fine wooden horse that he rode, and Saran had a flying fish. One day, they both got a call from the Land down Yunder, from a village called Refrigeratown. Apparently Smuckers, the dragon from Country Crock had trapped Mrs. Butterworth in the tall tower of the castle, and Brillo and Saran were to save her. Unfortunately, Brillo and Saran didn't get along with each other very well, and hated their enemy's most treasured possession: Brillo hated Saran's flying fish, and Saran hated Brillo's wooden horse. Neither wanted the other to save Mrs. Butterworth first. So Brillo and Saran blamed it all on me. Saran tied me to a chair and stuck an apple in my mouth, saying, 'As soon as I save Mrs. Butterworth, I'm coming back to beat you up!' 'No, I'm going to save her!' Brillo argued. 'No, I am!' 'I am!' They continued to argue for a while. Why were they going to beat me up? Well, I couldn't ask why, since there was an apple in my mouth. But anyway, they eventually left to save the fair lady in the castle. Brillo went to the tower where the lady was held captive and yelled 'Hey, Smuckers! Let my lady go!' The dragon answered, 'Go away! She's my lady!!!' 'I'll fight for my honor and my princess!' Saran answered. 'I won't let you pass!' the dragon roared. So they fought until Brillo yelled, 'Time out!' By this time, Brillo was singed at the edges, and Saran had a hole burnt clean through him. They ran away to find some medical help. After they recovered, they were furious at each other. Saran stole Brillo's wooden horse and catapulted it across the countryside. Seeing the demise of his beloved steed, Brillo stole Saran's flying fish and sold it on the Chinese black market for about three hundred... haven't you heard this part? Well, they get so mad at each other that... that... I forgot. I guess that's the end."
Caldina laughed so hard she seemed hysterical, but everyone else stared at LaFarga like he had grown another ponytail out of nowhere. He glanced around at the several persons who now all appeared about as miffed as Clef had been.
"What?" he asked.
Not a person moved, though all still stared blankly at him.
Suddenly there was a loud crash, causing everyone to turn. It didn't take long until it was apparent that…the wall of the castle kitchen had been completely knocked down! Debris flew everywhere, striking random people in the room, however luckily, not a person was injured. Unluckily, Clef was looking even more riled than he had before. As the dust cleared, all saw Zazu simply standing there, yelling back at the GTO behind him.
"Geo!!!" Zazu screamed. "I told you not to pilot drunk!!!"
"Sorry!" Geo yelled back. "I hit the wrong button!"
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Clef screamed. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU FOOLS!?!?!?!? THAT'LL TAKE MONTHS TO FIX!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Look on the bright side, Clef," Presea softly said, trying to calm him. "Now you can ask Zazu why Eagle is in his bedroom and not out pole-vaulting with you."
"That's right..." Clef answered, also trying to calm himself from his prior affliction, LaFarga's completely annoying story, and now the fury he was trying to hold back from Geo destroying this wall. He took a deep breath, eyebrow still dangerously twitching. "Zazu, tell me before I hurt someone. Why is Eagle in his bedroom?"
"I dunno," Zazu answered, waving in the GTO, which, as it was piloted by a drunk Geo was still not performing very well. "Maybe he wants some privacy. Maybe he's tired."
"Zazu..." Presea sighed.
"What? What?? Whaaat!?!?" Zazu glanced around apprehensively, sweat pouring down his face in torrents, or at least it seemed that way.
"Gosh Zazu, I was just asking. Did you get Eagle drunk?"
He must've stuck a funnel in his mouth, Lantis thought.
Zazu seemed deep in thought. "Maybe a little... I don't remember..." he answered in the same lilting voice as Eagle had.
By this time, everyone was at about the same level of annoyance as Clef. Zazu cowered and whimpered under their irate stares, curling up into the fetal position, whining, "Please don't hurt me…"
"See Clef?" Presea answered, squeezing her hand into a fist. "They all… got drunk. That's why Eagle's in bed."
"Ohhhh...." Clef answered, wincing. "I… should… have known. In that case, I… will take leave." He teleported away in a flash of light, Zazu looking infinitely relieved as he uncurled himself.
All of a sudden, Ferio strode in, a bandana tied on his head, his hands in his pockets. "Yo, yo, whassup dawg!?" he said, giving LaFarga a high-five. He glanced to the side, eyes a bit large, where the remains of the wall lay in a heap then looked up at the GTO and Zazu.
"Ferio," Caldina asked, stepping up to him, one finger waggling, her other hand on her hip. "What in the world is yo problem? Y'never talk ta no one like that... where'd that ghetto talk come from alla sudden?"
"Yah, Caldina baby, just wanted to be from da hood all my life, now I just hadda try some ghetto." He looked back at the GTO again. "Yo Zazu! That robot sure got the bling bling!"
Everyone stared at Ferio as he strode out, just like he had come in and closed the door behind him.
"…Da hood?…" Lantis whispered uncertainly.
"…Bling…bling?" Zazu echoed.
"Does he even know what he's saying?" LaFarga asked.
"I doubt it..." Lantis replied. "Oh well. Now where were we?"
Blank stares shifted about, and met with only more blank stares.
".........I just'a forgot, people..." Caldina replied.
"...Let's go," Presea said. "Let's take a break. Then maybe we'll remember."
Everyone left the kitchen, all a bit relieved in some way. Presea went towards the stargazing room, LaFarga and Caldina to the patio. Only Lantis was left.
He walked toward the arbor room, where trees, plants and flowers grew among the walls of the castle. He was surprised to find the Magic Knights there with Ascot, talking and laughing. Ascot was sitting beside them, but yet didn't say a word.
"Hey Ascot," Fuu whispered. "Do you normally wear that pair of boots? They look quite becoming on you." She giggled, knowing she had confused him. Lantis was surprised. Fuu didn't normally act like that… Well, she did talk in the same kind of way, but she wouldn't tease Ascot like this.
"Ascot, why are your pants on backwards?" Hikaru asked. They all started to laugh, even Ascot.
"What are you four doing?" Lantis asked, a bit nervous to actually find out. All three of the Magic Knights and Ascot looked up.
"Only acting silly," Ascot answered. "Can you not tell? Hikaru's talking about my pants!" Hikaru blushed; embarrassed that Ascot had said that in Lantis's presence.
"Really?" Lantis asked. He paused, then glanced around, to make sure no one would be watching as he completely went out-of-character…
"Let me join you."
Lantis began conversing with them, saying things he never would, normally, as it seemed in this room, people were out-of-character. But then, Primera flew into the arbitrary room with Mokona hot on her trail. This couldn't have been out-of-character at all…
"LAAAANNNTTTTIIIIISSSSS!!!!!!!!" she cried. "HELP ME, LANTIS!!!!!"
The furry little creature bounced around like it was made of rubber. Finally, of course, it bounced on top of Primera. She whined in pain, stuck under the little white rabbit-like beast's hiney. Pounding on the floor, she tried to scoot out from underneath it.
"Ahhhh!!! Laaaanntttiiisss! Why don't you ever listen to me!???" The group of five only laughed, watching Mokona and Primera like it was a comedy show. "Lantis... You ______ magic swordsman, you!!!" the crushed Primera gasped. Mokona picked her up and threw her onto its back, bouncing out of the room.
For a moment, Ascot looked very confused. "… Primera… just called Lantis… a ______ magic swordsman!" Lantis shrugged.
"A ______ magic swordsman! How rude!" Fuu cried.
"I'm hungry again!" Umi suddenly griped. "I want to eat Mokona!" The other four in the room had to hold her back before she got a hold of the furry creature bouncing off into the distance. "But it's made of marshmallows, or ice cream, or Crisco!!!" she complained.
The next day, Lantis awoke hearing Eagle yell instead of Primera. He had kicked her out of his room the night before for calling him a ______ magic swordsman.
Opening the door, he gave Eagle a drowsy look. "What?" Lantis asked like he didn't care. Yet, in fact, it looked like he did care… because he appeared tired. And, if Eagle had noticed, his hand had slunk to his sword.
Yet, as always, Eagle appeared oblivious to the pending threat. "Remember? We've got our tournament today! Clef canceled my pole-vaulting lessons again because of some IRS forms he had to fill out." Again, that smile was flashed, his eyes closed as his head tilted to the side.
"Really?" Lantis answered. No one could resist Eagle's smile, so he let go all thought of attacking him for no reason.
"Yeah, really."
"Really..." Lantis still looked kind of tired… no, no… very tired.
"C'mon Lantis." Eagle pulled him toward the kitchen. "You need to wake up and smell the coffee. Leeeet's gooo....." He had a hard time dragging Lantis all the way there, at the rate he was moving. Eagle took the sprayer from the sink and pushed down the handle as he aimed it at Lantis. Lantis jumped back as the water touched him, threatening to use his sword again.
"Eagle, what are you trying to do!?" he yelled.
"Wake you up. Now c'mon!" He walked toward the game room. This time Lantis followed him. Eagle sat down Indian-style on the floor.
"Now we're going to play Battleship, Monopoly, Risk and Connect Four. Then we'll see who wins. If we have a tie, we play air hockey."
"'Kay," Lantis replied. "Got it. Which one first?"
"Let's do Battleship," Eagle replied. "Any objections by you?"
"No, Lantis replied.
"Good. Let us begin!"
Eagle took out the Battleship game and set it up. They both picked the locations of their ships. Before long, the game was in full swing.
Ferio shuffled in. This time he was wearing his bandana, a large gaudy necklace, and he had his hands in his pockets again. He heard the voices of Lantis and Eagle going at it with their tournament.
"G-3."
"Aw, Eagle! You sunk my battleship!!!"
Eagle dropped his remaining ship and looked up. "What can I say? I'm a military commander, you know." Again with the smile. That thing was a deadly weapon… at least to some.
"Well, anyway, you win." Lantis conceded his defeat, but he didn't look all that upset.
Ferio suddenly spoke, out of the blue. "Yo, people! Whassup in yo crib?" he said, holding up his hands in the position of the West-Side symbol. Eagle and Lantis looked up, clearly very agitated by Ferio and his ebonics.
"Ferio, would you please go away?" Eagle asked, with that… poisonous smile, knowing it would even work on Ferio. "Please? We're busy."
"Sure, brother!" Ferio answered, obviously obeying, then looked at Lantis, slapping him on the back. "See ya lat-ah, fruitcake!" He shuffled out again identical to the way he had come in. Lantis gave him a disgusted look, waving his sword at Ferio's retreating back.
"Eagle, do you think he knows what the heck he's talking about?" Lantis asked, lowering his sword.
"I hate to guess," Eagle answered, looking out the window blankly. "…But I reckon not."
"You reckon?"
"I don't think so." Eagle's eyes got large as a large bead of sweat dripped down his temple.
"Theeennn..."
They continued their tournament until the winners were decided for each game... Eagle had won Battleship and Risk; Lantis had won Monopoly and Connect Four.
"Now I guess we get to play air hockey," Lantis said.
"Yep," Eagle answered. "Air hockey it is."
They readied the table and played until the score was 8 to 8. It was down to the last goal. Both Lantis and Eagle hit the puck so hard that they heard a crack. The puck disappeared.
"Oh great. Where did it go?" Lantis asked, crouching to look around the table.
"I dunno," Eagle replied, ducking under the table. "I don't see it."
"Me either."
Eagle finally looked in his goal and drew out a thin disk. "Lantis..." he said shakily, "You're… not gonna believe this..." Lantis looked up, teeth clenched a bit unsteadily.
Eagle held up half of the puck, broken clean down the middle. "Half of it was in my goal!" He crossed his eyes, looking at the half of an air-hockey puck.
Lantis looked in his goal, withdrawing the other half in surprise. "And half in mine..."
For a moment they stared at each other vacantly. "Whoa!" Eagle suddenly breathed. "That is cool!"
"…No… kidding!" Lantis added in a breathy voice.
They paused.
"Awesome!" They slapped hands in a high-five.
The day after that rare incident, Lantis did not wake to Primera's screams, or Eagle's. He didn't wake up when Mokona jumped on his head, or when Hikaru asked him to get her a midnight snack.
Hey, wait a moment!… Hikaru asks him for midnight snacks?…
Er…
Anyway.
This time, what had woken him in the middle of the night was his terrible dream.
He turned down the covers and got up, putting his warm feet on the cold floor, inspiring a shudder. He slowly walked off to find Clef sleeping in his bedroom. Tentatively, he shook the small mage.
Clef rolled over. "Ya, ya, Umi, whaddya want now?" he asked quietly in a sleepy, lilting voice.
"It's not Umi. It's me, Lantis."
Clef sat up, bemused. "What brings you here in the middle of the night?"
"Well, it may sound really strange, but..."
"Go on," Clef prompted.
"I had a dream that... oh, I don't know how to say it..." Lantis started. "My grandparents, they came this Thanksgiving... I remember it so well..." His hand automatically tangled in his hair yet again. "Agh. I have a migraine just thinking about it."
Clef gave him a sideways look. "You certainly get a lot of migraines. But I understand. I have precognitive dreams every night, I just well… usually... I don't remember them." He smiled, a blush staining his cheeks. "But this is your first time…?"
"Yes," Lantis answered.
"Lantis, you are a Cail," Clef said, sighing. "Since you are the only magic swordsman in all of Cephiro, I imagine that the precognitive dreams are coming to you too. You're powerful, in other words. Don't worry about it for a while. They always are about things that will happen in a few days." Lantis nodded and returned to his bedroom, calmed by Clef's words, but still… His grandparents were coming anyway? He fell back asleep, but it was hard.
But Clef was wrong. For the very next day, he woke up to find that his grandparents had barged right into the castle when everyone was asleep. And then, they were standing right over him. "Oh, is that my little pookie Lantis?" his grandma asked, as he turned down the covers and crawled out of bed, standing with a huge yawn. "Ohhhh, you've grown soooo much, you have!" She pinched his cheeks, staring up with beady eyes to Lantis's insane height. Lantis pulled away, bright red, and ran off trying to find someone that could help him out of this mishap.
He soon found LaFarga. "LaFarga... LaFarga, you've gotta help me!" he cried. His eyes were wide with… was it… fear? "My grandparents are here! You've gotta do something!"
"Grandparents?" LaFarga asked.
"Yes! My grandparents are here! They're going to ruin my life!!!" Tears streamed down his cheeks from watery eyes in a complete deluge.
"Settle down," LaFarga whispered, a bit disgusted by the way Lantis was… well… dripping all over the place. "What's so bad about that!?"
"Well, number one, they embarrass me all the time, and number two, they are supposed to be in the mental institution! When my parents died, they went absolutely insane!"
LaFarga looked confused. "Your parents died?"
"Yeah! Now please try and help me!" He curled up, sobbing.
Tarta and Tatra walked in, accompanied by Zazu and Geo. "Hey you guys, what's the deal?" Tarta asked.
"Lantis, you look upset," Tatra said softly.
"Upset? Upset!? Of course I'm upset!" he replied, squeezing his own head between his hands. "My grandparents, they're here!"
"Grandparents?" she echoed. "How lovely." Tatra folded her hands in front of her, giggling lightly. Her smile was about as venomous as Eagle's, but not quite enough so.
"No, no. You don't get it. My grandparents; they're insane, wacko, koo-koo, whatever you want to call them. Who knows what they're doing right now!"
Lantis ran off, back toward his grandparents (as much as he hated doing so) with LaFarga, Tarta and Tatra right behind him. As they ran into the distance they heard Geo and Zazu murmuring; "What the... what the!?"
They came back to where Lantis left his grandparents, who had by now found Sang Yung and Lady Aska. They were still acting like the stereotypical grandparents, now pinching Sang Yung and Lady Aska's cheeks. The little girl and boy from Fahren also appeared to be attempting escape with all their strength.
"Ohhhh, you two are just splendid little children, you are! I'm sure you both clean up your rooms all the time and eat all the food on your plates..." Lady Aska managed to escape, squealing, pulling Sang Yung free with her. Both children ran off, screaming, into the depths of the castle.
"Where did they go?" the grandfather asked the grandmother.
"I don't know. Maybe they're trying to play hide and seek!"
"Let's go find them. They would be heartbroken if we didn't!"
Lantis quietly spoke up. "Ahem..." He immediately turned bright red again. His grandparents embarrassed him more than anything in the universe…
"Oh, if it isn't our little Lantis. My, you have gotten tall!" the grandmother said.
LaFarga stepped in the way. "Excuse me, sir, madam, but you must leave."
"Oh, what tall and wonderful people you are friends with, Lantis!" the grandfather replied, completely ignoring LaFarga's statement. "See what I mean?" Lantis said, turning to LaFarga, giving a groan of futility.
"Sir, take your wife and leave this castle, if you please... we are busy here…" LaFarga restated.
"Please, Ma'am," Tatra continued.
"What manners this young woman has! She has certainly been raised correctly!" was the only reply they received.
"Aeh, shuttup!" Tarta said. "Shuttup and get outta here!"
"Oh! Someone certainly needs to teach you some manners! Talk to this young lady here, she might be able to help!"
"She's my sister..." Tarta replied. Tartly.
LaFarga escorted them out the door, laughing a bit, unsteadily however, seeming somewhat affected by their insanity "See you later, Mister, and your wife. Thank you for visiting." Lantis sighed in relief.
"Ah, they will see us later..." the grandma said; though no one heard her but the grandfather.
"So now you've gotta understand..." Lantis said hurriedly. "They can't come in this castle. They almost drove me insane when I was a child; I had to get a restraining order against them and my father sent them to an asylum on the coast of Cephiro. How they got all the way here I don't know, but if they come back... It'll be ten times worse, I know it will!" He was trying to explain about his grandparents to all the inhabitants of the castle. Except Ferio, who rudely hadn't shown up.
"Now I see why you had a precognitive dream about it, Lantis," Clef replied. "Repressed memories, right?"
"I imagine." Lantis groaned as his migraine had heightened terribly while his grandparents were in the castle.
"Then we will do what we can to keep them out." Clef cast a magic barrier around Lantis. "Now they can't get too close to you."
"Good. Don't let them get that close to me..."
Then Ferio moved in, slouching, his hands stuffed in his pockets like he had a couple of times before. This time, he was wearing a bandana, had the same gaudy necklace as before, and was wearing several large rings.
"Yo brothas and sistas, what shakin' in yo cribs?" This time, he gestured with his hands in a strange way as he spoke.
Clef stared at Ferio. "Um, Peace, man?" This said, his eyes widened in disbelief.
"No no, ya got it all wrong. You gotta talk ghetto; it's the new thing!" He flashed the West Side symbol again. "And Clef, you sure lookin' iced up to-day, you are! It's just word, dawg!" He walked out, closing the door. Clef glared at him, and everyone laughed.
"This is insane…" Lantis murmured. "This is all… insane!"
"Sang Yuuuung!!! Come here right now!"
He ran up panting. "Yes, Lady Aska?"
"Please, Sang Yung, get me and my guests some tea."
"Yes Lady Aska. Right away." He dashed off, typically of a little servant boy.
Lady Aska was having a tea party with Tarta, Tatra, Zazu, Geo, Eagle, and the Magic Knights. Eagle, unnoticed, stole a candy from the dish. As he unwrapped it, everyone stared at him. He popped it into his mouth, flashing that lethal smile of his, and got away with it.
"Clef still hasn't given me those pole vaulting lessons he promised me about a week ago. It's been three days since I've even mentioned it," he blurted out, deterring attention further from the stolen candy.
"You've been waiting a week?" Hikaru asked.
"For pole vaulting lessons!?" Umi added, giggling. "Have you ever tried fencing?"
"Pole vaulting is something I've wanted to learn for years," Eagle explained. "Apparently Clef is really good, and he said he could teach me."
"That's nice," Tarta said hurriedly.
"Isn't it?" Eagle said, leaning down next to her. She edged away, whispering to Tatra. "Doesn't that guy creep you out?"
"No! He's very polite and sweet. You just need to get to know him," she replied, shaking her finger at Tarta.
"Does he always flirt like that?" Fuu asked Zazu.
"Nah," he replied. "He never flirts. He just acts like that naturally. And when he is in love with someone, which I've only seen once, he totally freezes."
"Freezes?"
"He panics. Then he starts stammering and totally loses it, and he usually locks his knees without realizing it and passes out."
"That's strange," Fuu replied.
Eagle looked around at everyone. "Are you guys talking about me?" His eyes were wide and had a strangely innocent look to them.
"Yeah, we are," Geo replied to bother him. Eagle didn't respond, just laid his head down on the table and closed his eyes.
"Does he always do that?" Umi asked.
"Yep," everyone replied.
"Think about it this way," Geo explained. "He sleeps to get away from his problems."
Sang Yung returned with the tea, distributing it evenly between each teacup. Lady Aska turned to him.
"Sang Yung, will you wake up Eagle? He happens to have a tendency to fall asleep in random places..."
Sang Yung crossed to Eagle and shook him. "Wha..." Eagle whispered, then sat back up like nothing had happened. Then, upon glancing into his cup of tea, he wrinkled up his nose.
"There's not enough sugar in this tea!" With that, of course, he picked up the sugar bowl and dumped the contents in, as the others at the table grimaced.
"Much better." Satisfied, Eagle took a long sip, then released a sigh of contentment. All at the table made their best attempts to ignore him from then on.
They went on with their tea party and drank their tea, conversing all the while; opinions of Eagle's habits had become quite a controversy, but he just ignored everyone. No one noticed that Eagle and Tatra were the only ones at the table who lifted their pinkie finger while drinking their tea.
"Where's Lantis?" Eagle suddenly asked.
"Lantis?" everyone replied, bewildered.
"He was invited..." Lady Aska quietly said, glancing around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the dark swordsman.
"Yeah, where is he?" Zazu asked.
Little did they know that Lantis was about to have another encounter with his grandparents. He sat in his room, reading a book with a small reading lamp; he had wholly forgotten about the tea party. His grandparents crept up behind him, a small candle in each of their hands. As they got closer, Lantis got more fidgety, but he still didn't know they were there.
(Music from "Jaws" plays) 'Da, dum... Da, dum... Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da da da da da da da da....'
They came close to the barrier Clef had put around Lantis. Suddenly… Lantis farted! Their candles burst into flames and consequently caught them on fire. Lantis now noticed they were there, and threw them out the window, running off. They landed in the moat.
The grandparents coughed up smoke, almost like nothing had happened. "Kids and their games," the grandfather sighed.
"Next time let's not bring the candles," the grandmother said.
"What the heck!? What have you been doing with my Lantis!? He's been..."
"He's upset because of his grandparents!"
"He's totally out of it! You've hurt him, haven't you? Do I have to go apologize for your faults?"
"How many times do I have to tell you, he's upset because his grandparents are here!"
Hikaru and Primera were in the foyer arguing about Lantis. Primera thought Hikaru had upset him. But Hikaru knew the truth... the presence of his grandparents was what had upset him.
And little did they know that the grandparents were right there, ready to ambush them. This time though, they didn't have the candles... but they had a bottle with dry ice in it.
(Music from "Jaws" plays) 'Da, dum... Da, dum... Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da da da da da da da da....'
Hikaru and Primera turned to notice them. Immediately they reacted. Primera took out her hair spray and sprayed it at them.
"FIRE... ARROW!" Hikaru yelled. The effect of the fire magic and the hair spray was like a flame-thrower. The grandparents were lit on fire again. Hikaru ran off, while Primera flew.
"So the girlfriends didn't work, did they?" the grandfather said, smoldering a bit. Then, of course, the bottle exploded in his hand.
"I forgot about the hair spray..."
"Who's next?"
"That little friend of his."
"Yes, his friend..."
Eagle sat in the den, all alone, listening to techno music. Since he had it turned up all the way, there was no noticing the grandparents coming after him.
(Music from "Jaws" plays) 'Da, dum... Da, dum... Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da da da da da da da da....'
Eagle saw the grandparents coming after him, this time with a potato peeler. He jumped to his feet.
"Here you are, friend of Lantis," the grandfather said, smirking.
"Well, you didn't expect us to come back, did you?" the grandmother added.
"Actually..." Eagle answered, "I did." He held up his palm laser and shot it. It wrapped around them, as it had a strange tendency to behave like embroidery thread. Eagle grabbed the laser like it was a rope and swung them, throwing them into the fireplace. He ran out, switching off the stereo.
"We're both just too stubborn for our own good, y'know!" he yelled as he ran.
"So the friend didn't work." Lantis's grandmother said, patting out the fire which had started in her hair.
"How about if we try the friend of the friend?"
"The alcoholic. He'll be easy."
"No kidding."
Zazu was in the bedroom all alone, with a bottle of wine. Tarta had recently dumped him, and he was upset, so upset he was drinking again. He had been trying to break his addiction, but his efforts had failed. In his depression, he was far too abstracted to see the grandparents coming after him.
(Music from "Jaws" plays) 'Da, dum... Da, dum... Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da da da da da da da da....'
He turned and saw them; this time they had a machine gun. Zazu's eyes got wide, very wide indeed. The grandparents began to shoot. Zazu dodged out of the way, behind the dresser. For some strange reason, the Mission Impossible theme song began to play. Zazu turned and dodged every bullet like he was in The Matrix. In slow motion, he threw the bottle of wine at them. Also in slow motion, it crashed onto the floor, soaking them with alcohol. Zazu then threw a lit firecracker at them and ran, for the third time in slow motion. He barely escaped the practically atomic explosion that resulted.
The grandparents didn't speak for a moment. Then, Lantis's grandpa grimaced. "I've gotten quite sick of this fire."
"Certainly. So have I."
Picking himself up off the floor, Zazu smirked.
"I am Torque. Zazu Torque," he muttered, holding up his finger and blowing on it, like it were a freshly-fired pistol.
Finally it was time for Thanksgiving, and the castle still hadn't been "grandparent-proofed". Everyone sat at the table, passing the dishes of food as they piled their plates high with their Thanksgiving meal.
"Clef..." Eagle complained. "Why haven't you given me those pole vaulting lessons you promised me a couple of weeks ago?"
"I'm sorry, Eagle, I'm busy. Just haven't got around to it yet," Clef apologized. "Maybe today after the meal?"
"Fine with me," Eagle said, looking at his plate.
Ferio accepted a dish from Geo and dipped himself some of the food, passing it on to Presea. He leaned across the table, looking at Umi, the one sitting across from him.
"Yo Umi," he said, giving a wolf whistle. She looked up, irritated. "Those hooters sure look niiice today!" Umi glared at him, then reached across the table and slapped him across the face. "Oooohhhh!!!" everyone said. Ferio didn't look at her again, just wordlessly continued to fill his plate.
When everyone was ready, they prayed being thankful for their food, then began to eat. The dining room became full of the sounds of forks and knives clanking against dishes. No one was even remotely aware of the grandparents sneaking up on him or her.
(Music from "Jaws" plays) 'Da, dum... Da, dum... Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da dum, Da da da da da da da da....'
They all turned to see the grandparents coming after them, each with a butcher knife. Everyone jumped up, ready to attack the grandparents before it was too late. But unexpectedly, the grandma cut a slice off of the turkey and nibbled on the edge.
"Lantis, did you cook this? It's wonderful!"
Then, being the completely insane grandparents they were they hit a ladle sitting under the turkey dish, launching the turkey into the air. Everything seemed to go in slow motion… Eagle grabbed Clef's staff and ran, using it as a pole, all the while, screaming in a slowed-down voice, "Noooooooo!!!!!!!". He launched himself into the air, caught the turkey, and threw it back onto the dish before he landed. Everyone was stunned for a moment, then they began to clap.
"What do I need to teach you?" Clef asked. "You're a natural!"
"What a show!" the grandfather said. "Now how about..."
"FOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!" someone yelled.
Everyone started throwing the food. Eagle ducked under the table, but not before a huge glob of mashed potatoes hit him in the side of the face. Clef turned, only to get the whole bowl of gravy dumped onto his head. He sighed in annoyance, then yelped in pain, since the gravy was still hot.
Lantis yelled as the cranberry sauce splattered onto his armor, and Fuu screamed, finding stuffing in her hair. Hikaru and Umi noticed the cranberry sauce had somehow fallen down their shirts.
Presea laughed, knowing that she was the one that had dumped the gravy boat on Clef's head. And at the moment, it remained there. An angry Clef grabbed the stuffing bowl and dumped it on her head.
The green bean casserole ended up in Lady Aska's lap. Sang Yung didn't manage to clean it off before he got hit with a turkey leg, which promptly knocked him senseless. Poor Lady Aska ended up on her knees, patting the face of her servant, trying to get him to come to. A slice of pumpkin pie slapped Tarta in the face, her sister Tatra laughing all the while. Primera dodged the flying deviled eggs, but got knocked to the ground by one and landed in the cranberry sauce. Ferio ended up with the turkey on his head like it was a helmet. The grandparents stood there, doing nothing, but seeming to repel all of the flying food.
Presea removed the stuffing bowl from her head as Clef wiped the gravy off his face and parted his hair. His hair, which was now light brown. Presea whispered something to him. He gasped.
"I never thought of that!"
He beckoned for Eagle to throw him his staff. Eagle did, and Clef cast a spell to send the grandparents into another dimension. After all, they had been the cause for all this trouble.
"We'll be back!" they yelled. "We haven't seen Lantis's multiple choice SAT's from seventh grade yet!" And they disappeared into the sixty-third and one-sixteenth dimension.
Everyone sighed in relief. Lantis' crazy grandparents were gone, and they weren't coming back, no matter what they said. At last, the inhabitants of Cephiro and their guests had Thanksgiving to themselves, without anyone crazy enough to ruin it. Except maybe Ferio, who still wore an exceptionally grand turkey helmet... but he wasn't saying a word.
After the meal, which was fairly well thrown together after the food fight, things were fine again in the castle, with the exception of Lantis' condition. The amount of exposure to his insane grandparents had made him scared stiff, and he was having chills and had a fever. Everyone was doing what he or she could to keep him in good health, except for Ferio. Then Ferio walked in.
"Hey..." he started. Everyone cringed, knowing what was to come. Ferio stared at them.
"I'm not talking ghetto ever again," he explained. The group lost their tension.
"Well, that's two things taken care of, Lantis' grandparents and Ferio's ghetto talk." Clef sighed.
"Now, we'll see what we can do about Lantis..." Ascot finished.