The Cruel Smile of Gotham

Chapter One: The Process by which you Capture my Heart

He laughed wildly as the city's most famous bank exploded beautifully before his very eyes. His plan had turned out just as expected. Now he just had to get away alive with all the money. It was perfect… almost too perfect, in fact. "Sir, the getaway car isn't moving, what should we do?" The lard next to him asked, and he frowned. Leave it up to those buyable gooneys to try and ruin his perfect plan.

"What's wrong?" He slowly walked out the Mexican restaurant he had randomly chosen as his viewpoint; he had to get out of the building before they noticed anything funny about him. Sure, the people right about now were not looking at him in suspicion, they were too busy screaming and pointing at the burning building right across the street—but still, he could never be too cautious.

"I don't know I've lost contact with them. I think…," Then all questions were answered. As they walked hurriedly through the streets of Gotham City, trying to escape the masses that were in panic, they saw Fred, Gus, and Tom hanging by their shirts from three different poles on three different corners of the Stacy Dr. Intersection. It was all too clear what had happened…

Batman.

Goddamn batman and his insistence in trying to ruin everything! Usually this wouldn't matter because heaven knows that Fred, Gus, and Tom were the least of his problems. "What should I do?" asked the lard next to him as he abruptly came to a stop. "Joker…what should we do?" His voice quivering, as it should be… this was all his fault after all. He had been the one to insist that someone else besides himself walk off with the money. Because his plan's needed improvement, because there was too much risk in getting caught, because the last time that had happened The Batman had captured him and made him his personal sex slave for about 9 months!... and the lard was gonna pay for convincing him to make such a mistake!

"Let someone else do the dirty work for you," The Joker whispered to himself as he took a step towards Jason, his latest sidekick, "Let me teach you the new way of the underground… you're getting old my friend." He leaned into Jason's frame, "You made me doubt myself! I destroyed a bank for nothing, batman has the money now!" He practically spit out as his hand brought forth his favorite toy of all time… the one and only thing the bat hadn't taken away from him. He placed Gruesome at Jason's neck and pressed hard enough to let red trinkle down the pale smelly neck. "Now you'll be a young dead man, and I'll be an old living rich man!"

"Wait Joker, we can still—" and those words were cut off suddenly, not because the Joker got away with slitting his neck, but because he was caught off guard and grabbed from behind; his wrist twisted; there was a loud sound of metal hitting concrete as Gruesome fell from his right hand and he was thrown to the floor.

"Run," warned a raspy voice, and two seconds later Jason furiously scrambled to get away from the deadly fight that was surely about to come.

A loud laugh erupted from the Joker's throat as he stared at the man that had destroyed his entire career as Gotham's most feared villain… as well as his life. "You think you've won the bet?" Joker said in-between howls of obviously fake and desperate laughter.

"I was right, wasn't I?" Batman's voice caused a chill to run down his spine, "Is this what you wanted." The bat took a few cautious steps towards him, "You're still in the same place where I left you, and you still have nothing better than this shit-hole you so desperately want to live in. I'm not letting you keep the money… and you're coming back with me." Joker watched with hatred as the man that had ruined his life once more reached for him.

He did the only thing he could think of doing, he wouldn't survive if he went back into that prison the bat kept him in. He let his right foot kick the one place he knew would either earn him his escape, or grant him a secure place back in hell. He kicked batman in the balls, and he wasn't about to sit around to see what happened, he scurried himself away from the deadly aura that secured itself around the bat. He reached for Gruesome, smiling when his long-time favorite friend was back into his hands. "Well batsy, I'd love to stick around but Gotham needs an insane villain like myself… and you can't keep me locked up forever just so your libido can have its way with me anytime you desire!"

He could hear the bat running behind him now and he panicked. He didn't have any toys on him. Fucking Jason had insisted he didn't need to get any until the job was over. Why kill and attract people before their art was complete? It had turned out to be nothing but a waste of his time and he was almost certain the bat would capture him once again.

More than mad at the fact that the job had been ruined by batman…again. He was angered that he had let that little sane boy, Jason, be part of his crew— worse yet— he even listened to his opinions. He was the Joker! He didn't listen to anyone's opinion!

He felt something sharp penetrate his thigh, and he stumbled and fell, crying out at the pain that the bat-metal-knife thing brought. "Shit," he cursed, trying to get back to his feet and keep going… but of course he wasn't allowed to because as soon as the thought occurred, the batman was already pinning him down to the floor.

"You little prick," came the raspy voice he had become accustomed to over the months. "I'm done playing games with you."

"Ohh batsy, I hate losing games…. I know! Two out of three!" He laughed loudly, but only ended up chocking on his laughter as batman's fist landed rather harshly on his abdomen. "Fuck," he cursed.

Then the batman did what he always did. The thing that pissed the joker off the most… the thing that irritated him to the max and always left him so confused that at the end of it all he just wanted to go shoot himself like any regular insane soulless clown would've done a long time ago! The batman slammed his head back into the floor, causing more pain to his already aching head, and crushed his lips in a burning kiss. He wanted to fight against it, he really did. Everything within him told him this was wrong. 'He's fucking with you, he wants to make you weak,' one voice told him. 'He's already made you weak, what have you got to lose?' said another. But all he could do was kiss back… because that's what had been programmed into him the last 9 months of his life.

So he didn't fight against the kiss. He kissed back. And they kissed together for what seemed to be an eternity. The phrase, "I missed you," was thrown into the air by none other than the Joker himself. And Batman leant back in to claim what was his. 'Because after all, you are his,' spoke the voice he hated most. But in that moment he didn't care.

He didn't care because he knew that wasn't true. And he was ashamed that even the voices inside of his head didn't know him as well as they claimed… "Say batsy," he whispered in-between breaths, loving the way batman had all but completely forgot that he had burned down a bank and was practically sucking his face off. "Let's play a game, yeaaa?"

Joker didn't take any chances. As much fun as it was sucking off batman's face, he didn't want to go back to that prison! "It's called 'Payback time.'"

And with that he slammed Gruesome into the Bat's arm, watching in awe as his captor let him go and cursed at the world. He pushed batman completely off him and got to his feet, wincing at the sharp pain in his thigh.

"Well batsy, as much as I'd love to stick around, it seems I got to go come up with a new plan! See ya round!" He tried to hop his way as far from batman as possible, he really did, but it seemed to him that he had a bad habit of always underestimating him. Batman grabbed at both his legs and pulled him right back down to the concrete floor. He had to choose between falling on his face, or letting his elbows take the hit. He, of course, decided his face was much too pretty to ruin, and so seconds later both his arms were bleeding as he screamed at the pain of having his arms both scraped on the concrete floor.

"You're not getting away," the batman said as he practically lay on top of him, "You're coming with me." He obviously didn't care that the Joker was in pain because he didn't even try to avoid the injuries on his arms— he harshly handcuffed his arms with handcuffs he seemed to produce from somewhere in his batman suit. The Joker always thought the batman suit confusing, so he didn't even try to memorize where he kept anything anymore. "In fact, you're going to come with me without giving me anymore trouble."

He knew what that meant. Not a minute later did he receive a sharp blow to the neck, knocking him into his happy little world of make believe. A world he had learned long ago to dominate as his own. A world that not even the batman could reach his dirty little bat wings in to hurt him. He welcomed the sensation with happy thoughts… because on the bright side, at least when he woke up he wouldn't have to cook for himself anymore. He'd have that weird old man bring him some of those nice eggs. And with that last thought, the Joker went into a state of bliss with a genuine smile on his face.

-- End: chapter one--

AN: Hey guys! I watched the movie again for the millionth time, and once again I had the feeling of wanting some Batman/Joker Slash…only to find that every time I do the search, there is none! So I decided to start a small fic to satisfy my own bizarre cravings, because for some reason, this pairing, in my opinion, is upper hott! Now I know this chapter was short, but hopefully as the fic develops chapters will get longer, plot will get intense, and the reviews will pile up. ;) Lemme know what you think of the fic, yeah? I'd sure appreciate it!