Was this rushed? Yes it was.
Is it incredibly OOC? Most likely.
Do I care? Not really. It was fun to write.
"So let me get this straight," Poseidon started, glancing at his brother Hades. The god of the underworld gave him a firm nod, and Poseidon cleared his throat before fixing his gaze back on his son and nephew and continuing, "You two, two of the seven heroes of Olympus, mature and level-headed in pretty much any situation, suddenly got the completely out of character thought into your heads that it would be the best idea in the world to prank Apollo ."
"Well actually, I'm not technically one of the seven," Nico diAngelo offered neutrally, giving the two gods a tiny shrug as they both glared at him. He flinched when the black-haired sea prince beside him whacked his shoulder, rubbing the struck area with a hand. "Ouch, Percy. I am wounded."
Percy scoffed. "If you were that fragile, you wouldn't have survived past Westover Hall," he snarked, crossing his arms and glaring at the boy even more than their parents had, "And shut up. You're as part of the seven as the rest of us."
"Except I make eight," Nico pointed out dryly, "Which means that someone else would have to be kicked out. I never did like that Mclean girl…"
"Ahem!" Hades said pointedly, and the two mortals fell silent as they turned back to face their fathers respectfully, "Anyways. I do not know what came over you boys in order to make you do such a thing, but the fact of the matter is that you must be punished."
Percy's eyes immediately lit up, and he started jumping up and down on the spot. As everyone turned to stare at him, he answered their unspoken question with an excited, "Ooh! Can I request being turned into a squid?!"
All three gave him an odd look.
"Why?" Nico finally asked, and Percy stopped bouncing as he cast a startled glance at the chthonic boy. He looked remarkably like a deer in the headlights, although one wonders what thoughts were going through his head to make him look quite so frightened of answering.
"...No reason," Percy finally managed, and a single skeptical eyebrow rose to Nico's hairline.
"Ahem!" Poseidon tried, and the two once again returned their attention to the two gods before them. "Thank you. No Percy, you cannot request a punishment."
The sea prince gave a pout. "Why not?"
Poseidon's eyes narrowed. "Because knowing you, you'd do something to turn it into an advantageous situation instead."
Neither god missed how Percy's gaze flickered to Nico for a millisecond before returning to them, even though the boy himself didn't notice. "No I wouldn't," he said stubbornly, and the two gods gave him an unimpressed look.
"Actually yes, you would," Nico told him, almost apologetically, and Percy glared at him once more.
"Traitor," he hissed out, and Nico crossed his arms in an unimpressed fashion.
"Liar," he returned stoically, and Percy's eyebrow twitched.
"Childish," Percy returned hotly, and Nico had to hold the smirk off his face.
"Immature," he said, and Percy reared back indignantly.
"That's the same thing!" he protested, and this time the smirk came on full force.
"No it's not," Nico claimed, and Percy's brow drew together in a glare.
"Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is!"
"No it's not."
"Is!"
"Isn't."
" Is! "
"Isn't."
" IS!"
"Is."
" ISN'T, and that's tha-hold up a second…"
Nico began snickering as Percy's brain hiccuped and tried to keep up with this new development. Once it had processed, Percy's glare returned tenfold. "Fine then! How are they different?!" he demanded, and Nico fixed him with a flat stare.
"Childish refers to silly things, usually attributed to children. Immature means not fully developed, which can refer to children, I admit, but in your case I'm thinking more of immature fish that have to be thrown back," the son of Hades told him, and Percy's lips pressed together in a thin line.
Hades and Poseidon were extremely unimpressed with this argument, but they had resigned themselves to seeing it played out. Any interruption was useless; they'd just get right back into it the first chance they got. However, seeing that his son was too enraged to form words at the moment, Poseidon chose to jump back into the conversation.
"Anyways, the fact of the matter is that pranking Apollo was extremely childish and immature and deserves punishment, and to make it fair, Apollo will be the one to decide it Apollo please come in here ," Poseidon said in a rush, not stopping to take a breath lest the two mortals in front of him jump back into their verbal fray. They had stopped to listen to him, and now, with their argument forgotten, they turned towards the door with expectant grins.
Apollo walked in after a couple of seconds, holding his head high with as much poise and grace one can muster with a head full of hermit crabs instead of hair.
"How did you two even do that…?" the god of the sea muttered as the two mortals tried desperately to hold back their laughter. It would doubtlessly only make things worse, and they knew this, but...c'mon. Hermit crab hair. Pretty darn funny.
"This is not an amusing circumstance," Apollo said levelly, but this only served to amuse the two even further. They were turning red. Hades and Poseidon were, unsurprisingly, trying to hold back snickers of amusement. Apollo sighed, hanging his head, and the sudden movement sent a few of the crabs swaying.
Looking back up to fix the two with a glare, he said in that same controlled voice, "Might I ask the simple question of why?"
"You can ask," Percy told him, suddenly grave, "We probably won't answer."
"You're sure about that?" Apollo asked threateningly, taking a step towards them. If the effect wasn't ruined by the crabs, though, it was certainly ruined by Percy
"Dead serious," Percy said, putting an arm around Nico's shoulders and drawing him up to his side.
Apollo facepalmed, dragging the appendage down to his chin before a crab could pinch one of his fingers and heaving a huge sigh. "Alright then. I have a punishment in mind, but I don't think you two would agree to it," Apollo said casually to Poseidon and Hades, "And it's not very imaginative either. So, I'll get some help."
The two mortals automatically averted their eyes as a golden blaze of light bloomed into existence before fading just as rapidly, and once it was gone they turned back to see half the top half of a bunkbed floating in midair. On top of the mattress was a bespectacled boy, reading a book.
"Hey dad," the boy said in an unconcerned tone, not looking up from the page, "Nice haircut."
Percy gave a snort as Nico smirked.
'Thanks," Apollo ground out, glaring at his son with barely-disguised annoyance, "You can give these two here the credit."
The boy did look up at that, only giving a slight widening of his eyes as he saw Nico and Percy standing there. He flicked his gaze from them to Apollo and back, raising an eyebrow and quirking his lips into the tiniest smile imaginable. "Powerful magic there," he told them, "Good work. Solid construction."
"Thanks. Although I can't take all the credit. Lou Ellen gave me a few pointers," Nico said to him, but then suddenly a malicious smirk bloomed on the son of Apollo's face.
"And now we know exactly who it was that cast the spell," he told the two, flicking his gaze to Percy as he asked, "What were you, the distraction?"
"Quite an effective one, too. The entire length of the Hudson river flooded," Poseidon told him off-handedly, and the boy's eyes widened in alarm.
"Nothing too destructive, I hope?" he questioned, almost hesitantly, and Percy gave him an insulted look.
"I'm a prankster, not a monster!" he protested, and the boy gave a sigh of relief.
"Alright Christopher, I didn't call you here to gossip!" Apollo finally cut in, glaring at his son, but he only glared back with equal intensity.
"It is quite rude to interrupt a conversation, but fine. Yes, dad?" he asked icily, and Apollo huffed out an annoyed sigh.
"Thank you. I want you to think up a punishment for them," the god told his son, and Christopher raised an eyebrow once more.
"You can't do it yourself? Dad, you're usually so imaginative! What, are those hermit crabs cutting off circulation?" he snarked.
The bed below him exploded into flame.
"Mature," Christopher drawled as he rescued his book from the inferno, jumping off to land lightly on the ground, "And those were my favorite sheets, too."
Apollo didn't respond, too busy trying to not harm his son. Christopher rolled his eyes and turned to the other two mortals, who were trying hard to not let their amusement show. The expression on Chris's face once again turned into that malicious smirk, and the two immediately sobered up.
"Let me see now," Chris stated, beginning to circle to two boys like a jungle cat, "What might dad find satisfactory?"
"A stern warning and a promise not to do it again?" Percy tried, and Nico brightened.
"A slap on the wrist and no dinner?" the Ghost King offered, but Chris gave him an odd look.
"Zeus literally slapped the Argo II back to Camp Half-Blood. Do you really wanna see how far Apollo would take that?" he questioned, and all the blood drained from Nico's face. Percy began snickering.
"You're as pale as a ghost," the Sea Prince laughed, and the son of Apollo's face lit up.
"That's it! You could turn them into ghosts," he said, then at the looks of the two elder gods added hastily, "Temporarily, of course."
Apollo looked conflicted, so the boy pressed on, "Imagine it! One of them thrives on his contact with others, and the other is completely terrified of vanishing into nothingness!" and this seemed to placate the sun god. He nodded to the other two, and they sighed.
"Alright, I suppose I could do that," Hades said warily, and Christopher smiled in triumph as Percy and Nico looked on in shock and horror. Before they could say anything, Hades flicked a hand at them, and their worlds turned to black.