I DO NOT OWN TOTAL DRAMA, DON OR ANY OF THE RETURNING CONTESTANTS, THEY BELONG TO FRESH TV AND WHOEVER ELSE OWNS THEM.
SOMEWHERE IN THE BAHAMAS.
"Ah, this is delicious, can I get another...three of these? Free?"
"I'm sorry sir, but I am going to have to-"
"You know, this reminds me of how I often talk to the guy who runs this place. Yeah, he and I were talking about annoying staff members who wouldn't let us relax and insisted on annoying us. And he said oddly enough that if I ever had that problem-"
"I'll get you another five! On the house!" The waiter walked away hurriedly, as Don Chizzleton sighed and, much like his namesake, relaxed back on the sunny beaches and chilled out.
Until he heard a familiar sounding song. "Oh!" He said, the song clicking into place in his head. He reached into his discarded jacket and pulled out his phone.
"NA-NANANANA-NA-NA-NA-NANANA! I WANNA BE! I WANNA BE! I WANNA BE-" CLICK.
"Hey! Woah, uh, slow down, I can barely hear you! Where are you? It sounds like you're in a wind tunnel!" Don's eyes widened. "You are in a wind tunnel!?"
He frowned. "Bad news? Oh dear god, THEY'VE CANCELLED MY SPA BUDGET!? No? Not that bad? Thank the- We've got a second season!" He jumped from his chair, let out a loud "WHOOP!" and fell face first into the sand. Spluttering, he sat up. "Yeah- ACK! Yeah, I'm still here. That doesn't sound like bad news. What? Starting tomorrow? In America?! WHY ARE YOU ONLY JUST NOW TELLING ME THIS!?"
The waiter walked back onto the sand. "All right, sir, here are your-" He stared at the chair, which had been broken in two, and then at the long line of footprints as Don rapidly booked it to the airport.
The waiter shrugged, looked around and began to sip the drinks.
...
CUE INTRO.
...
NEW YORK CITY.
There was a series of horrified screams as one private jet swung down and hit the runway so fast that it was possible that the entire undercarriage seemed to slowly tear apart. The pilot of this particular flight, the actual pilot and the air-stewardess all jumped clear.
Don watched as his plane skidded to a stop. "Oh great, now I've got to cover damages! Thanks Fernando!"
"But you were the one who was flying it! You told me to get back or I'd lose my job!"
"And whose fault is THAT?!" Don took off running, scrambling over the fence as the police sirens drew nearer.
Fernando stared for a moment. "Did he just...abandon us to the police?!"
The Air Stewardess sighed and sat down. It was going to be a long day.
...
Don skidded to a stop outside the Grand Central Station. "Am...Am-" He doubled up and gasped for breath. "Am I here on time?!" Someone handed him a earpiece, and the crackling voice of the producer informed him that he was. "Oh great!" He tried to pull himself together, straighten his hair and try and eliminate the appearance of a man half mad. It didn't work.
He cleared his throat. "I'm here in New York City! Where everything's out to steal your money, and where Lady Liberty casts her judgmental gaze at us all! And also, the starting point in the race around the world! Last year's finishing line is today's starting point!" Don staggered backwards into a deckchair helpfully provided for by one of the smarter cameramen. "Let's meet the contestants for a whole new chapter of-" The camera zoomed in dramatically. "-THE RIDONCULOUS RACE!"
He paused. "You guys added the gleam, right?"
...
The train raced along the tracks.
In one corner of the train, two women sat. One was regally composed, not a peroxide-blonde hair out of place, with her rather flattering choice of a purple suit made her look equipped to handle a business office rather than a race such as this. The younger woman, despite looking like the other, was not as well-groomed. Blonde hair was ruffled around so much that it looked like the aftermath of a dog vs carpet match. Her blue eyes were constantly blinking, and in her well-manicured hands, she was clutching a stress ball. Her dress was more suited to the race, though it appeared to be adorned with sequins and looked like the swiss-army knife of dresses.
"Don't pick your nails!" snapped the older woman.
"Yes mom." flinched the younger.
"Angela and Sally-" said Don in a voice-over. "-mother and daughter, and also the arch typical stage mom and and her meal ticket!"
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Angela: Not to brag about myself, but I always could have been something. In fact, when I worked on the theater, I was apparently a shoe in for best newcomer back in the day. But I lost- *her eye starts twitching* -for SOME REASON. THOSE JUDGES WENT FOR THE 'NICE' OPTION. *calm down* So I figured I had done something wrong. And I, like any responsible parent, do not want my daughter to make the same mistakes. So, I've taken her to beauty pageants since she was three, had her in acting classes since she was seven, she's been on stage since she could say anything-
Sally: I, heh, I've lived a busy life. *laughs nervously and starts playing with her stress-ball*
Angela: And I know that entering this race is going to be our first step into becoming famous worldwide!
Sally: I, uh, didn't really want to do it, but then Mom...convinced me.
Angela: Don't say it like that. All I told you was that if you wanted to make us proud and have a roof over your head, you'd have to do this with me.
...
In the next seat over, several women swooned at the sight of two modern day Adonis's flexing their muscles. One, brown skinned and with jet black hair that looked like it had been swept back by a fan, kissed his forearm, while the other one, a red headed man with a grin like a dentist had gone at his teeth with every bit of toothpaste he had, began doing push-ups. Both wore green tracksuits with the letters 'TS' on them.
"Chad and James, aspiring Olympians, exemplary jocks and overall handsome and attractive people who always get the ladies- is this another one of those 'Let's give the contestants intros do write' thing? It is? Of course.
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Chad: Let's be real here for a sec. See, we've watched the previous seasons. There have been jocks on there before, but honestly, what exactly have they accomplished? One's scared of chickens, another can't say his name with out adding random sound effects to it, and...then there are the less memorable ones.
James: But this time, we're planning on dominating the competition. Why? *taps head* Because we got brains! We actually know what half of the words that the the smart dweebs say actually mean!
Chad: Have you heard them talk? That takes a lot of effort. Effort that will steamroller over the other teams like a...STEAMROLLER.
James: Excellent comparison there! Now BRO-FIST ME DUDE! *They bro-fist*
...
"Okay, okay, you sure that the batteries are in here?"
"Yes Ellie."
"You sure? I don't want my camera to run out of charge."
"It's fine." One girl sat up and gently noogied the other. "Hey, relax!" She lounged back on her chair, strawberry blonde hair covering her rather young face and causing her to reach into her jeans to pull out a mirror. The other girl, smaller and wiry, awkwardly tried to relax backwards, her rather neat brown hair refusing to take the same unkempt but beautiful look of the other. She wiped her glasses and sighed nervously. Gently, the first girl wrapped her hand around hers, and she cracked a smile at this.
"Alice and Ellie, the odd couple from their school. One's Miss Popular, the other one is far more likely to get thrown in the locker. Look at her glasses!"
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Alice: We weren't expecting to become friends straight away, but it's actually really nice! I mean the other girls usually tell me that I'm wasting my time with her, and that I could be with far better people, but I tell them to-
Ellie: Keep it clean. *laughs self-consciously* We actually did this race as kind of a joke, and perhaps maybe a little take that to those jerks out there in school, because we're still teenagers technically. Because you deserve to be with whoever you want to...AS FRIENDS.
Alice: Yeah! First time out, there's no one else I'd rather be with! Nothing can beat the power of friendship- Ouch! Nail broken!
Ellie: Shall I get the emergency services out?
...
Over in the corner of the train, sitting on his own, a slightly older man was strumming on a guitar. His handprint shirt and casual laidback manner was offset somewhat by the fact that he had pulled his hoodie up so that no one could see him. He turned slightly, and the camera caught sight of his face.
"Trent. Veteran of the Total Drama series, member of the Drama Brothers boy-band, and also voted 35th Hottest in the Canadian 100. Also, lowest ranking member of the Drama Brothers on there."
Trent glared. "So uh...where's my partner?"
"Oh you'll see." said the voice-over omniously. "Right...about...NOW!"
"TRENT?!"
Trent grabbed hold of his seat in shock. A goth girl was standing there, blue and black hair matching the rest of her outfit. The look of shock displaced that of her usual indifferent expression.
"G-Gwen?!"
"Oh, and Gwen. Also Total Drama Veteran. Blogger. And Trent's ex girlfriend! Hehehehe!"
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Trent: So we did make up on the show. And the aftermath, and the parties, and when they decided that I wasn't a All Star enough for the All Star show. But there's a bit of a major difference between a quick 'No problem' and sharing a space on such a tense show as the race with your ex.
Gwen: I wonder if Don took any hints from Chris. This feels like I've never been away.
...
And speaking of Total Drama, I- WHAT THE HADES!?
"Oh my god! We'realmosttherewe'realmostherewe'realmostthere!"
"I can't wait to get my picture taken with Don!"
The voices of the rather annoying kind came from two, for lack of a better term, cosplayers. One was dressed up in sneakers, greenish pants, a blue shirt with white sleeves and a grin that looked eerily like Chris McLean. Besides him, was the spitting image of Don, down to the rather fancy brown jacket and hairstyle.
"I...Uh...this is Dan and Charles...that's creepy."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Dan: We are SUPERFANS OF THE SHOW!
Charles; I started watching it first, and I think that the only good thing in most of the series was Chris. He's my idol growing up! He was first, and he was certainly not the worst!
Dan: Ha! In your dreams! Chris is so passe, my favorite is Don, hence the clothing!
Charles: We met at a meet and greet with the fans. We got into a fight and accidentally torched the the place. And also set Anna-Marie's hair on fire.
Dan: It was his fault! He said that Don wasn't good enough to lick Chris's boots!
Charles: WELL HE- *takes deep breath* So, we have to do this race to pay off the bail. And when we win-
Dan: DON AND I WILL BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS.
...
"So, I was like saying to him "Ew, get your loser hands off me, weirdo." and he ran away crying and sad. It was soooo pathetic and funny!"
A pair of annoying laughs echoed across the train. They belonged to a pair of rather beautiful teenage girls who were not too subtly oogling Trent. The Drama Brother pulled up his hoodie.
"Oh my gosh, though right?" said one of them, a brown haired girl with streaks of blonde in. She was dressed in a pink T-Shirt with the words 'Better Than U' on it, plus with a pair of shorts that had the name of some random designer on them. "Thank god we're here to bring some style to it! I mean look at Beauty and the Geek over there!" Another set of braying laughs, and Ellie awkwardly hid her face.
"Well they seem like they'll be fun." deadpanned Gwen, as the other girl, a black haired one dressed in a navy blue shirt with a plaid skirt and sharp trainers, gave death glares to.
"Rachel and Tina, teenagers and self-proclaimed popular girls, spoiled rotten as we were when their parents donated a hefty check to get them into the race."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Rachel: *straightening her shorts* So, when we were told about this, we were like, okay, sure whatever mom, and then we realized that it's not just about the money-
Tina: It's about showing off how much better we are than most people in the world. I mean come on, all the freaks want to be like us secretly, the way they dress is just a cry for attention.
Rachel: It's true. Our dads told us that. He also told us that poor people are just toadstools that sprouted legs.
...
The train pulled into the station, and everyone got up to move out. In the next carriage, a woman covered in so much ash that it was hard to make out much of her face beyond that of a pair of green eyes and a nose, slipped on her overalls and tapped her partner on the shoulder. "Come on, Carter! We're here."
"I'm so close though!" protested her partner, a slightly less ash faced man with random patches of faded red burns marking his skin.
"Come on champ, we can finish this later!" Her left arm clenched around the machine and lifted it into a bag. Carter sighed, adjusted her metallic arm slightly and set off.
"Carter and Wendy, geniuses and inventors fresh out of university. I really need a arm like that- in fact, we need to replace the entire staff with robots! Except the lovely producers of course, aheheheh please don't fire me."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Wendy: We came on this show because we wanted to advance our research on robotics and such. Also, to show the world that not all geeks are bespectacled idiots who have no social life or idea of how normal human beings interact. Seriously, some of us are actually smart both on a book and street sense. Oh, and because we wanted to make history! I mean no one else has run the race with one of these babies before! *clicks robot fingers together*
Carter: She's so proud of that arm.
Wendy: Shut up! *affectionately shoves him. He shoves her back. She shoves him harder and sends him sailing off* Ooops! SORRY!
Carter: *muffled, in pain* S'okay.
...
As they stepped off, the Inventors noticed that the train seemed to breath a sigh of relief as a extremely large figure squeezed his way out of the carriage door. He scratched his head and looked around.
"Wow." he said. "This sure is different from that Island, isn't it Pa?"
"Yep." said the old man, dressed exactly as his son, in typical farm gear.
"Returning from Pakitew Island is Rodney, and with him is his father, Derek. Both of them are lifelong farmers and have rarely been outside the farm."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Rodney: My time on the Island was a roller-coaster of emotional terror and pain, not to mention that the girls of the Island went through me like a knife through butter.
Derek: Yep.
Rodney: But, I have resolved myself to stand firm! NO MORE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT FOR ME.
Derek: Uh huh.
...
Two others followed Rodney and Derek, but these two were older. Both were brunettes with greying hair, wore orange sweaters, black trousers and sensible shoes. The man frowned and began muttering something under his breath about the mother, while the woman stared at Rodney and vaguely wondered whether or not he was aware of how complicated his mind really was.
"Siggy and Carly, Professors of Phliosophy and part time therapists. Also, official crackpots."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Siggy: I mastered in the arts as written by the one true interpreter of the human subconscious, Sigmund Freud. I even changed my name to his to show how dedicated I was to his craft! And then I met this...woman.
Carly: Yes, well we can't all be fascinated with killing our fathers, now can we? Does yours sleep with a eye open? Anyway, trust me, the last thing we want to hear is about Freud. Now, Jung on the other hand-
Siggy: JUNG WAS A HACK AND YOU KNOW IT! *both get in each others faces*
...
Walking quickly to avoid a throng of adoring fans, two figures walked on down and followed at a quick pace. Rachel elbowed Tina. "Oh, MY GOSH. Isn't that-"
"LEONARDO DECARPO!" squealed Tina.
Leonardo, a man drenched in Botox, hair-gel (His white-blond hair was far too styled to be natural) and smugness, paused to blow a kiss over to the two teens. Rolling her eyes, his co-racer, Dressed in a dress that one would more associate with a red carpet, she stopped and posed one or two times for photographs to be taken.
"Also joining us are Leonardo and Toni, rising celebrities and where most of the budget for providing travel for the teams was blown on. They don't have bigger tents than mine, right?"
...
Leonardo: Greetings world! It is I, Leonardo DeCarpo!
Toni: They know who you are. I'm Toni Watkins, by the way.
Leonardo: I bet they know who you are as well!
Toni: The hate mail sure confirms that. We're here to show that not all actors are looks obsessed fame hungry- Leo, stop looking at that woman's butt.
Leonardo: Well hello there! Are you free after this race? *gets up and heads out of camera view. Toni looks back and sighs*
...
From the other side of the street, a army of taxi cabs began making their way through the bustling metropolis to drop off the last few racers. Leading them however, was a brightly colored car with streamers popping out of it and with every beep of the horn unleashing balloons. It mounted the curb, where a woman flipped her way out of the back and did backflips. The driver, a man drenched in so much makeup that he looked like he had crashed into a powder factory, followed morosely.
"From the circus, we have Bouncy the Clown and Flip-Flop the Acrobat. We did actually ask them for their real names, but apparently we're not allowed to talk about them."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Flip Flop: Hi, I'm Flip Flop, and this is Bouncy! *Bouncy sounds a horn. It sounds depressing* He can't speak, it's in his contract. He was so hardcore about it that he had his larynx removed. Anyway, the reason we're doing this? Uh, mostly because the circus is a dying art, and because children tend to find Bouncy a little bit terrifying since he accidentally burnt down half the tent. *Bouncy honks his horn in anger* Well it's true! The bearded lady's beard caught fire! It was a shambles! *sighs and slips back into cheerful mode* So yeah! Also, I'm apparently here to make sure that Bouncy's...'problem' doesn't get out of control. *Bouncy glares at her* What?!
...
The first actual Taxi pulled in behind the clown car. Out of it stepped two men who looked like they would rather die than do what they were doing at the moment. Both were dressed exactly the same, blue shirt, dark blue pants and a blue cap rammed on their head. Their eyes were shielded with sunglasses.
"To the rest of the competition, these may seem like just your typical mailmen. But in reality, Patrick and Norman are actually top secret agents from Britain, working on behalf of...huh, there are pages missing from my script."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Patrick: *speaks with a British accent* This...was not our idea.
Norman: *Also British* Intel has it that there is going to be some sort of dangerous thing that will happen in this race, and co-incidentally, our clues to what that is are located in the countries we are to visit.
Patrick: It's almost like our foe really likes reality TV.
Norman: And unfortunately for us, we have to dress up like Postmen, or as the Canadians call them, MAIL-MEN- *gags* -to find out what it is we have to stop.
Patrick: So yes. This will be fun. About as fun as filing paperwork.
...
Out of the same taxi, out stepped two figures clad in checkered shorts, white aprons and overalls and wearing chef hats. One female, one male, they jumped through the air like...ice dancers.
Don walked up, ripped the false mustaches off and glared at Josee and Jacques.
"What?!" smiled Josee. "The other team had food poisoning."
"Considering that we're Chefs, that's unlikely." said the real Chefs, dressed exactly the same, save for the woman not having a mustache. That they could see. Don nodded and security dragged the protesting Ice Dancers off.
"Ugh. Prima Donnas. Now, two of Canada's most respected Chefs, Gordon and Nigella. Bet they'll be cooking up a storm. Eh? Eh? Eh? Shut up, it was funny."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Gordon: Honestly, we have to deal with a lot of idiots in the kitchen. We usually tend to scream at them until they do what we want.
Nigella: You have to have complete discipline and patience in the kitchen. It's basically like being a Buddhist, except there's ore people who will be let down if you don't BUCKLE DOWN AND START WORKING LIKE A HORSE! *pants heavily*
Gordon: ...Deep breathes, Nigella. Deep breathes.
...
Riding on bikes came the next team. The male stepped off and growled. Several doves flew away in terror as he flexed his muscled arm, which was covered in tattoos, scratched his black leather jacket and placed his hands in his pockets. His companion, a woman with dyed green hair that was cut to a pixie cut and was dressed in clothes that looked like someone had deliberately cut holes in, walked out and growled.
"Ah, replacing the Goths as 'That Team that Freaks Me The Hell Out' are the Bikers, Tiger and Guzzle. Yes, those are their names, and so they do not kill me, I will not mock them for it."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Tiger: We have the advantage over them. These babies probably haven't even driven that far in their lives. They've probably been molly-coddled their whole life. We on the other hand, have had to fight to survive!
Guzzle: You don't get tats like this because you were nice, or momma's boys. You got these for terrorizing everyone in your way! There's nothing in the world we love better than spreading our message of HARDCORE DETERMINATION! That, and the pretty sweet bikes.
...
Coughing in the wake of the fumes, walked two rather fit people in their late twenties. Both had a certain aloof air to them, the man wearing a red shirt and a black jacket to match his trousers and school type shoes, while the other man had his hair almost all shaved off and wore a white tracksuit and a whistle round his neck.
They looked at the teenagers there and scowled.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" scowled the black jacketed one.
"Shouldn't you? Joining us now are the Teachers, English Teacher Tim and Fitness Coach Harry."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Tim: We do not want to be here. We would not be here if it wasn't for the money.
Harry: One million? Man, you could retire on that.
Tim; That's all we're thinking about at the moment. There's only so long you can take both the snot nosed brats and the school system that chokes you to death like a vice-
Harry: You do know this is on National TV, right? They'll be watching this back at the School.
Tim: ...Ah.
...
Another taxi door opened, and out walked a red haired woman with a line worn face. Following her was a equally as exhausted looking man with black hair that had grown out far too long. Both wore a navy blue outfit that displaced their names on tags.
"And joining us now, looking fresh faced as ever, are Liam and Ginger, Social Workers for over five years."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Liam: Honestly this competition will probably be a breeze.
Ginger: Jinxed it.
Liam: We face down kids with knives, parents with knives, knives with knives, kids who are sick and vomit everywhere, fights between kids, fights between adults-
Ginger: Honestly, this'll probably be a cakewalk compared to this. ...Damn it, jinxed us again!
Liam: Maybe it cancels it out?
...
The penultimate team came not from the taxi but from the sky, as a grappling hook thudded next to Don. Riding down, two brightly colored buffoons huffed their chests out. One was almost entirely yellow with splashes of orange and red about his person, and the other was green and black. One looked happy. The other did not.
"Have no fear! The Superheroes in Training are here!"
"Ah yes. The Superheroes in Training. Thomas, or as he calls himself, Speed Demon, and Terrance, or The Puncher. Original.
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Thomas: This will be the chance to show the world the future, of crime fighting!
Terrance: Excellent. I'll just go and leave that to you. He can run fast and I can hit things.
Thomas: Enhanced by a ancient AMULET we found in our attic.
Terrance: He found. I want no part of this.
...
The final taxi coughed to a stop. Sitting atop it were two woman who looked as though they had never even so much as encountered a butterfly that had a quarrel with them. Gracefully climbing off, they moved forward. Both were pale, one with icy blonde hair and a green jumper combined with a black skirt and purple leggins, and the other, with spiky black hair, a white shirt and both hands in a pair of black bottoms.
"And finally, a Total Drama: Revenge of the Island contestant Dawn and her best friend Molly."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Molly: I was stoked to have Dawn ask me to go with her! She's awesome!
Dawn: You were the awesome one, I just helped you find your true path to unlocking that hidden potential. But don't get attached to me for too long, for I am not meant for this race.
Molly: Wh-what? She does that a lot.
...
All eighteen teams gathered around.
"Now, before we begin, I'd like to explain one thing. Due to a lawsuit filed by Laurie and Miles from last year, we had to agree to work in a co-host for this season. They were specific, they wanted a eco-friendly, clean, veteran of the Reality Show, who wasn't going to be unfair to them...so with that in mind, Dawn, join me?"
Molly stared in shock as Dawn smiled gently and almost floated up. "I saw that coming." she told Don.
"Of course you did. Molly, don't worry, we've got a replacement partner, and he's from the same season Dawn is." Don turned. "Ah, here he comes now."
Jogging fast, a rather tough looking person with a black crew cut, green tank top and blue shorts rushed up, threw a salute and stood down.
"Ten hut! Molly, meet Brick!"
"Pleasure to meet you, MAM!" Brick saluted Molly, who awkwardly saluted back.
"Uh, yeah, great to...meet you too."
...
CONFESSIONAL:
Brick: So when I got the call, I was a little surprised. After all, I was not shown in a...positive light in Total Drama.
Molly: Didn't you wet yourself in the dark?
Brick: Marm, that was ONE TIME! But I decided to come back, not only to get some more money so I can go to Fashion School, but also to experience the world *turns to Molly* Marm, may I engage you in a high five?!
Molly: Sure. Knock yourself out. *Brick goes for the high five, misses and falls off his chair* Ah. Team work. Nothing like it.
...
"Now with that out of the way-" Don widened his arms. "-WELCOME TO THE RIDONCULOUS RACE!"
"Eeeeeeeeeeh! He said it! I love you Don!"
"I love me too." Don agreed. "There can only be one victor out of all eighteen teams. But for that one lucky pair, they will win...ONE...MILLION...DOLLARS!"
Each team spent a good few seconds imagining that amount of money and what they would do with it.
Don was about to continue, but Dawn cut in. "This is the starting line for your twenty six leg around the world! Each part ends at a chill zone! You must get there fast, because the last one to stand on the carpet of completion could be eliminated! But reach the final chill zone first, and your victory shall be assured! Now, run until you find our Ridonculous Tip Box, or the Don Box, where you will receive your first travel tip!" She paused. "Sorry, Don, were you about to say something?"
Don growled. "Now...on your marks-"
The Teachers and Social Workers tensed up, as beside them the Popular Chicks looked dead ahead.
"-get set-"
The Inventors fist bumped, while the Professional Jocks stretched out and got in a good position. Dawn stepped back.
"GO!"
Thirty six pairs of feet thudded on the concrete, and briefly on Don, as the teams took off in the direction that Don was pointing in. The host staggered up and clutched his head. "Got to remember to stand back next time."
...
"Move it or lose it!" James and Chad were pulling ahead of the others, but not too far behind them were the Bikers.
"Come on Tiger, they're never going to let us live it down if we lose to a couple of kids!" Guzzle let out a roar of rage that actually startled both Jocks and raced forward.
"She's catching up on us man!"
"Don't worry! We've run from bears! We can handle this!"
"There's not much difference between the two of them, that's true enough!"
Meanwhile, in another street, the vast majority of the teams were still in a throng together. Most were holding up rather well under the pressure, though some were...not.
"Thanks for carrying me Harry!" said Tim as he lounged on Harry's back.
"Yeah, well, this better not be what I'm doing for the entire race!"
Gwen grimaced as she skidded to a stop. "This is ridiculous! At this rate, we'll never find the Dumb Box, we'll just be running around for the rest of the day and not getting anywhere!"
"Oh, and what are you going to do, weird goth girl?" Gwen sighed, clearly it was not meant to be that she escaped Heather, or at least someone very much like her.
"Well I have a idea." Carter looked at Wendy. "Throw me."
"Are you crazy!?"
"Just do it!"
Wendy looked at him for a minute, and then sighed. "Please don't hate me if this goes wrong!" Grabbing him gently, she swung her arm back and tossed his up.
"WOAH!" echoed most of the teams.
"I should really cut my arm off and get me one of those."
Everyone gave Rodney a odd look.
"It's probably symbolic of her hatred for authority and also how she wishes she had her mother's love." Siggy suggested.
"Or it could just be because I was born without a arm?" suggested Wendy.
"I SEE IT!" came the shout. "It's in the next street over- WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" He suddenly plummeted towards the ground. Wendy quickly grabbed hold of him. "Whew. Thanks!"
There was a pause, and then someone (Possibly Angela) shouted "EVERY TEAM FOR THEMSELVES!" and they scattered. The first to touch the Don Box was Brick and Molly, having taken off the second they heard the shout. As they ripped the travel tip of, Molly whooped and read aloud. "It's a All In!"
...
"A All In is where both members of the team must compete. In this challenge, teams must head to the Federeal Hall, where they must search through this historic building to discover one of these postage stamps!" Don held up a red stamp with the image of Federal Hall and George Washington on it
"This was produced in 1939 to celebrate the 150th Anniversary of George Washington's inauguration as the first President of America!" chimed in Dawn. "They must present the stamp to the tour guide to get their next tip." Dawn smiled. "Also, buy energy saving lightbulbs!" She turned to Don. "There. That counts as your commerical for the day."
"Ugh."
...
"So, Brick, kind of a shot in the dark, but I'm guessing that you're not too familiar with stamps."
"No marm!"
"Terrific. Okay, neither am I, so let's just get to it!" They ran off, passing the Professional Jocks, Bikers, Reality Ex's and Inventors on their way.
"Wow, for a team that doesn't know each other, they're doing a lot better than I would have thought!" marveled Trent. He looked at Gwen. "Uh, Gwen, we're going to have to talk at some point, right?"
"Oh look, Don Box!" Gwen grabbed the tip. "Okay, let's see, federal hall George Washington, right, let's go!" They took off, Trent slightly concerned but willing to go along with it. A crowd began gathering as the fight to press the button and grab the tip first began. One person dived onto another, someone called Sally's mom pushy (Sally herself would have agreed, but for her mom's face) and eventually someone tripped over a fire hydrant and knocked it over.
...
Far away, on the rooftops of one of the buildings, Thomas and Terrance were not affected by such mere concerns as money and actually taking part in the race.
"Why are we up here again?!" screamed a terrified Terrance.
"To practise our mad skills! We must learn what it is to be a superhero! Understand our abilities fully!"
"Can we do that AT THE CHILL ZONE?!"
Thomas laughed and lightly smacked Terrance on the back. "No, stupid! There's no time like the present!"
"Yes there is! It's called the past!" Terrance frowned as a huge fountain of water spurted upwards. One could almost see the lightbulb appearing above his head. "Look! Clearly someone has shattered a water pipe! We must rush to the rescue!"
Thomas gasped. "SPEED DEMON TO THE RESCUE!" He started running, taking a blind leap of faith and somehow managing not to fall through the gap in the buildings.
Terrance took the stairs.
...
The tour guide looked up in time to see five teams racing into the Federal Hall. The Flower-Cadets were first, followed shortly by the Reality Show-Ex's, the Inventors, the Professional Jocks and, oddly enough, the Odd Couple.
...
Alice: Ellie actually managed to get the tip out before all the chaos descended on us all! It was super cool!
Ellie: You spend enough time shoved into the locker with the rest of the nerds, you learn how to squeeze through a large crowd.
...
"Okay, okay, so it's George Washington! What does he look like?" Carter said as he began searching through the front desk.
"Uh, tall guy, white hair, and he's probably got the name under his face!" shouted Wendy as she rushed into a display area. She wasn't the first in there though, as both Alice and Ellie were searching through.
"The Bible!" whispered Ellie as she rushed towards the large book. As she gripped it, she began flicking through. "Okay, okay. Now, there's a lot of pages to look through."
Wendy was about to ask them something, but she shook her head and rushed off towards another room.
"While the first five teams begin the search, more teams are only now getting their tips!" Grimacing to herself, Flip Flop finally cleared the crowd of contestants rolling around in the cold water and handed it to Bouncy. "Come on! Let's get the car and get going!"
Norman watched as they departed and growled. "Come on! If we're going to do this, we need to act quickly! I do not want to be the one who has to report to HQ that we didn't save the world because we couldn't press a button!" Suddenly his eyes went wide. "Oh, wait." He pulled something out of his bag and walked forward. He fiddled with the Don Box.
"What's wrong?!" gabbled Thomas as he rushed forward-
-and at that precise moment, the Don Box spewed out travel tips right into his face. Norman grinned, grabbed on and took off as the other tried not only to grab the tips but to make sure they weren't knocked in the face by one.
...
Gordon: Those are the weirdest mailmen I've ever met.
...
"Meanwhile, some of the teams may be about to strike gold! Not literal gold, mind you, we can't actually afford that."
Bouncy looked up at the statue of Washington. He honked his horn. Getting the idea quickly, Flip-Flop jumped up, flipped over Washington's head and grabbed a small item from beneath his wig. She looked at the stamp, then at Washington's face and then let out a shout of triumph. The Tour Guide looked, judged...and then handed them a travel tip.
"Right! Another All In! And it's in the...Empire State Building?"
Bouncy honked a honk of surprise.
...
"That's right." Dawn looked up and staggered back. "Wow. Even looking at it makes me a bit nauseous. But somewhere in this building lies another Don Box. The only problem, we don't know which. The Teams must arrive here, choose between stairs or elevator and search each floor painstakingly. So just because we ran out of money on the other challenges, we're reusing the first challenge from last year."
"Don't point that out! Ugh, you are just so un-professional, WHERE'S MY WATER?!"
...
"How did they, you know what? Never mind!" The Jocks took off searching. Chad suddenly looked around, and stared at one of the pillars. He cracked his knuckles, jumped onto the pillar and started shuffling his way up.
James turned to the camera. "Chad actually did a little more than me on the gymnastic team. He was really into ropes-" He paused awkwardly, as Rachel and Tina laughed. "-STOP IT."
By this point, all teams had at least reached the Federal Hall.
"More-" Ellie spotted the stamp in the Bible and grabbed it. "-and more-" Gwen bent down and grabbed a loosened tile to reveal another stamp located there "teams are finding the stamps quickly." Rodney didn't even waste time, he lifted one of the pillars up. Chad screamed as he toppled backwards, still clutching the stamp.
...
The Clown Car sat in the middle of the throng of traffic. Bouncy glared with his usual cheerfulness (Read: None) and even Flip-Flop was beginning grow tired.
"All right, here's the plan. We get out and run." Bouncy shrugged. "Don't give me that look, at least I'm trying to do something so far!" Bouncy opened the door and squeezed out.
He was just walking towards the direction that the traffic was slowly crawling to when he spotted a woman. Coughing, he walked up to her and was about to ask for directions when something connected with his face.
"AH HA!" Thomas laughed maniacally. "You fiend! Thought you could get away with HARASSING THIS OLD WOMAN, HUH!?"
Terrance sighed. "He thinks clowns are inherently evil." he explained to Flip-Flop.
...
As the taxis took off, Trent looked awkwardly at Gwen. "So...how's life treating you?"
"Well it's going great." Gwen tried to muster up some enthusiasm and failed. "Everything's going just great."
Trent felt awkward. He turned away for a second to greet the other team in the taxi with them. "So, hey, my name's Trent."
"Oh, I'm Alice and this is Ellie." Alice grinned. "Not going to lie, you hear this a lot, but I'm a huge fan."
"She is. It gets a little...grating." Ellie grinned.
"Oh shut up you." Alice said playfully. "So, what are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, I figured that I've been unlucky once before. Maybe this time it'll work." Gwen frowned at the 'once'.
...
"Come on Charles, you have to think to yourself, what would Don do in this situation?"
Charles glared at Dan. "You know, this is getting really boring really fast." He glanced out of the corner of his eye, to see the Spies, Farmers, Jocks and Chefs leaving. "Oh great, we're running late!"
Rachel and Tina had just finished moving towards the door when they stopped dead in their tracks. Without even verbally communicating, they nodded at each other and turned back, the very picture of innocence.
"Hey hunks." said Tina, putting on a more sultry tone. "We were watching, and we just so happened to see you struggle to find the stamp, and so-"
"We'd like you to have the spare one." Rachel finished.
Dan grinned. "Thank you ladies! Maybe we could work together for a bit of the race."
"Oh, would you?" Rachel fluttered her eyelashes for the full effect.
...
Rachel: It's official. We are geniuses.
Tina: And not the really icky kind of geniuses who never know when to shut up about how clever they are even though we totally are.
Rachel: Yeah.
...
"Come on Sally! I don't see you looking hard enough! I trained you to read cue cards, your eyesight should be better than this!"
Sally was struggling a bit, as her mom desperately struggled to haggle with the tour guide. She squeezed her stress ball and tried not to freak out. In the far corner, Carter and Wendy cast their eyes around. "This has to be a joke, right?!
"How is it that we were one of the first here and yet we can't find a stupid stamp!"
"Don't panic." Carter looked around. "We've looked by the Bible, on the pillars, in the statue...where else could it be?"
At that moment, Sally couldn't help overhearing. She frowned. "Statue?" She rushed outside and spotted a plaque. She rifled around and finally pulled out two stamps. She quietly sighed in relief. Looking around so that her mother didn't see her, she snuck back in and tapped Carter on the shoulder. "Uh, here, here's one. I mean, you've been here longer and is that my mom, okay, bye gotta go!" She hurried out before either Inventor could thank her.
"Well." spoke Wendy. "That was nice."
"Less talking, more moving! Maybe she'd be up for a alliance?"
"With her mom?"
"Fair point."
Both teams were the fifteenth and sixteenth respectively to leave, and it was only at that point that the Superheroes in Training arrived. Team number Seventeen, aka the Therapists, left within seconds, and in anger Terrance punched the wall.
A stamp fell out.
...
"And via the magic of editing."
...
All Eighteen teams were now combing the Empire State Building. Some were travelling up the escalator, others on elevators, and others were just running up stairs.
The Social Workers stared at the dumbwaiter shaft and then looked up it. They looked down and saw it stop at Floor 5. "You know, this is probably disgusting."
"It is." agreed Ginger. "But needs must when the devil drives." As it came up to their level, they climbed on board.
...
Liam: Our plan may look weird, but we figured out that each time the particular dumbwaiter goes up, it waits for about five minutes. That gives us enough time to search the floor and get back down again in no time.
...
"You know, this is great, but how are we going to squeeze out?"
Ginger paused. "Oh. Son of a-"
...
Bouncy honked as he massaged his wounds. The Superheroes in Training looked awkwardly at him, as Flip-Flop swung from fixture to fixture in search of something. Trent and Gwen were going through each room quickly.
"Hey, Trent?"
Trent turned, this was the first time Gwen had said something to him without promoting. "Uh, yeah?"
"I was just wondering, you were saying to the girls earlier about how you were unlucky one season. But you were on two."
"Oh, that." Trent played with his fingers. "Well, uh, this is embarrasing, and it'll make things awkward between us."
"Does it include nine in it?" There was a pause, and both laughed. "No? Then I think we're cool."
"Well I don't count the first season as unlucky because...even if it was just for a short time, I got to date the coolest girl who made me laugh." Trent shrugged. "We got on pretty great, I thought. Then I screwed it up." Trent frowned. "Hey, is that-"
Gwen stared as Trent hurried off. "Yeah...not awkward at all."
...
By luck, the Inventors were on the thirteenth floor when they spotted something sticking out.
"Either that's a body, or-" Carter shoved the curtain aside to reveal a Don Box. "Wow! Thirteen must be our lucky number!" He pressed the button, and the travel tip appeared.
Suddenly, the Box Boomed. "ALL TEAMS! I'M ON THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR. REPEAT. I'M ON THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR."
"You had to jinx it."
"Okay, so that's clearly something to make us rush and panic." Carter frowned. "It's working!" The two jumped onto the beds as the teams rushed in. Sneaking around, they slipped out of the door as the battle to get the tips began again.
Leonardo howled in agony. "My toes! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL TOES!" He screamed like a girl and ran out sobbing, as Toni took up the battle for both of them.
"Swear to Director!" Toni picked up her shoe and started attacking the nearest person, Nigella, who responded by pulling out a cleaver and sending everyone into a panic.
Outside, Wendy read the tip. "Get to the airport. There are three flights leaving to-" Her eyes widened. "Switzerland?!"
"Well, that's new! Come on!" Both took off. Seconds later, the door practically shattered under the combined pressure of the rest of the teams.
Meanwhile, inside the building, the Superheroes in Training rescued the Social Workers from the deadly dumbwaiter. They rushed down to follow a group of teams that were rather worried about all the glass on the ground. And the Bikers, who had been struck early on by a low blow from Tim and Harry.
...
"The season premiere is going to go off the air in fifty seconds!?" Don turned as a graphic showing each plane and the people it carried popped up. "On Flight One are the Inventors, Professional Jocks, Popular Chicks, Fanboys, Spies and Stage-mily. Flight Two leaves a hour or so later, and contains the Odd Couple, Teachers, Reality Ex's, Circus Freaks, Flower-Cadets and Movie Stars. And Flight Number three leaves a hour after that, taking with them Superheroes in Training, Therapists, Farmers, Social Workers, Bikers and Chefs."
"What will happen when they reach Switerzland?"
"Can my face get any more handsomer? All these questions and more will be answered on...THE RIDONCULOUS-"
And then the network cut them off.
TO BE CONTINUED.