"Tell me something I don't know about you." It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. I can feel Simon shift, probably to look at me.
"We lived together for seven years, Baz. What can I possibly tell you that you don't already know?" His voice is thick with sleep and I can pretty much tell he's rolling his eyes. I smile.
"I don't know plenty of things, actually. We had whole summers apart and we weren't exactly sharing, if you remember?" I find his hand and lace my fingers through his.
"Yeah, I remember." He says quietly.
I should feel bad. I know it isn't easy for Simon to talk about Watford since he lost his magic, but I can tell it's been good for him. Every time we have these conversations, he looks a million times lighter. I'm also glad that he's sharing more of himself with me. I try to do the same, if only to see the light in his eyes from knowing that I trust him. My lovely Simon.
"We don't have to talk about Watford." I say, anyway.
"Thank you, but it's alright. It won't go away simply by ignoring it, right?" He says, squeezing my hand.
"I suppose it won't."
Simon lets go of my hand to slide his arm across my waist. He pulls me closer to him and I can feel the warmth of his body. He's radiant.
"My summers were quite boring. I stayed at the children's home, mostly. Everyone thought I was the weird kid since I left to a special school each year. They thought I was trouble." He presses his cheek against my shoulder. "Turns out they were right."
"You were a pretty big troublemaker, you just about drove me insane every day." I laugh.
I can feel his smile grow. "It's what I'm good at."
"Oh, I know about a million other things you're good at, Simon." I joke and he laughs. His laugh is like music to my ears and my stomach is in knots. Or it has butterflies. Either way, it's amazing to know that Simon can still do this to me.
"They all involve driving you insane."
"That might be true. I'm absolutely crazy for you." I laugh.
"You're so cheesy." He shakes his head slightly, but I can tell he's grinning.
"It's why you love me." I say. He places a kiss against my shoulder.
"That and about a million other reasons."
"And you say I'm the cheesy one." I sigh, but I love it. I love this and I love that it's Simon I have it with.
"I have my moments." He whispers.
"That you do." I smile. "So, summers sucked."
"They did, but I had my ways of coping with them."
"Did you?" I ask.
"This is embarrassing." He mutters, but then speaks up. "I would push Watford out of my mind because I was terrified that it was just a dream. I mean, rationally, I knew that it wasn't. It's just something I did every year."
"You didn't allow yourself to think about Watford every summer?"
"No, not until I was about an hour away from school… I made lists of my favorite things. Reminded myself of the things that I loved the most." He says. I really don't know what to say, which is good because he keeps talking. "They used to be full of things like sour cherry scones and our room. Or with people like Penny and Agatha… and Ebb."
I twist my body so I could face him. "Simon…"
He smiles. "I'm okay, I think it's good to talk about her."
I just nod. "Do you still have lists?"
"About Watford? No. I'm pretty sure I'm not going back so there would be no point." He says it and for the first time, I don't see the intense pain in his eyes. It breaks my heart, anyway.
"I meant in general."
"Oh… kind of. I suppose you can count them as lists." He says and he's blushing. "I know who is important to me and I know that I have favorite things that I can't live without."
"Can you list some?" I ask, innocently.
"You're evil." He says, but I know he doesn't mean it. I'm the nicest person I know. Kind of. "But, as you wish."
I wait while he thinks. Finally, he speaks. "The smell of that disastrous candy drink you make. It fills up the kitchen and it relaxes me. I don't think I could live without it."
"Pumpkin mocha breve. It's not a candy drink." I mutter and he laughs.
"I know what it's called. Shh, I'm saying my list now." I roll my eyes, but nod. "Penny is a pretty important part of my list, still. She's pretty much a constant in my life, even if she's living in America now."
Penny had moved a couple of months ago to live in New York with her fiancé. It had been a hard day for Simon, but he was happy for her. He's pretty much happy that we all made it out alive and are living great lives.
"Sour cherry scones are still part of that list, thanks to you. I know you have them delivered from Watford for me and it means a lot." He says.
"I know how much you like them." I shrug.
He smiles and I swear I won't be held accountable if I kiss him right now. He looks absolutely perfect. "You're amazing."
"I know." I joke.
"Next on the list is this apartment. I love that you've agreed to move in. It wouldn't be right if I had to live alone and really, who else is better? You already know all my bad habits." He laughs.
"About all million of them." I smile. He shakes his head, but he's still laughing. It takes everything in me not to kiss him. I want him to finish his list and if I kiss him now, I won't be able to stop.
"I'm sure there's more than that, but that doesn't matter. You know me and it's even better than it was at school."
"Why is that?" I ask.
"No Roommate's Anathema. If you're being mean, I can totally fling a shoe or pillow at you. It's great." I roll my eyes. Leave it to Simon to think bombarding me with objects to hurt me would be a good thing, but really, I know it's a joke. Simon hasn't done a thing to hurt me, yet and if he decided to, he could do it with nothing but words.
"You're horrible."
"You love me." He shrugs.
"That I do." I say.
His smile will be the death of me. Let it be known I said this. "Then there's you. Don't know how you managed it, but you've made it to number one. I don't think I'll ever replace you as number one, so there you go."
Now it's my turn to be deliriously happy. How much more can I love this man? I guess I'll have to wait until the next time he says something to find out.
I really can't help myself now. I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him in. "Why do you do this to me?"
He's still smiling. "Maybe we're magic."
See? I love him even more and it seems virtually impossible for me to love him this much without exploding. "Oh, we are. Simon Snow we are the most magical fucking people in the whole fucking world."
And then I kiss him and his mouth is warm. It always is, but it feels like heaven. He pushes me down on my back, never once separating our lips and he's so fucking good at this now. He's so good at making me melt into him and do whatever he wants. He has me under his thumb. He has his thumbs, his hands, pretty much all over me. Roaming. Touching. I sigh into him.
He pulls away, only to press his lips against my neck and I can't help but think how fucking hilarious it is that Simon Snow is kissing (sucking, really) on my neck. I pull him even closer to me. "You're mine."
He groans and grinds his hips against mine. "What?"
He sounds delirious and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that's far gone. "You're my number one, too."
Simon pulls away and his eyes are glazed, but his smile is wide. "I already knew that."
"I needed to say it, anyway."
And then he shakes his head, hair falling across his forehead and kissed me again. I swear he's going to be the death of me. I'm going to die kissing Simon Snow and I can't help being deliriously happy about it.
A/N: I was tired and bored and I liked the idea that Simon would tell Baz about his lists. I hope you liked it!