AHHHHHHHH!!!! I know, I know! I'm in the Lord of the Rings section! With poetry! And it's not even FUNNY!!! I'm not having a nervous breakdown…even though…okay, I am.
Ewan: Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
I don't want you pushing it! Just because I'm wearing a hat made of construction paper that says "Jack For Best Actor!" doesn't mean I've completely lost it.
Ewan: …Psycho.
Yeah, well, at least I'm not Scottish. Anyways! About my poem! It's my little ode to sweet little Gollum that I had to write for English. It's not funny because the curriculum said it needed to be sensitive and crap. And a lot of people said I should post it. So I am. This is just how I feel about Gollum because…because…BECAUSE HE'S INNOCENT!!! HE'S INNOCENT!!! STOP WITH THE MEAN ACCUSATIONS! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM!!!!
Ewan: Cuckoo.
Shut UP, McGregor! Hold up the sign!
Ewan: No.
DO IT!!!
Ewan: Holds up sign that says "Cap'n Jack for the Oscar! Sean, Bill, Jude, and Ben don't stand a chance!"
Good. Well, let's see. Disclaiming…Professor Tolkien own all but I own the giant poster and the action figure of Gollum. …Yes, I do.
~~
"Misunderstood"
Everyone hates me and hates my wicked ways
After all the torture, the anguish still stays
It rips me and it tears me, never to cease
The good living in me won't ever find peace
They only notice the thin surface of me
But deep down in my heart is what they can't see
The evil voice that speaks out loud isn't mine
My merciful voice is what's supposed to shine
Every distress call is twisted into slight
They brand me a horrid, sick, disgusting fright
Trapped in darkness which engulfed me long before
It ran through my veins and sunk into my core
Obsession overtook me, I paid my toll
An evil I'd coveted smothered my soul
It crushed my sanity and hardened my heart
It lashed out and mauled me, ripping me apart
Cruelty thrives in me, I can't break away
I'll remain like this until my dying day
No one will understand what I truly hold
What lies within me, all the feelings untold
A mystery is what I'll always remain
The freedom and love were killed in their reign
Saturated in sin, diluting my good
A vile creature forever misunderstood
~~
Okay, I PROMISE I won't torture you with that angsty drama stuff ANYMORE!
Ewan: Phew, thank God!
SHUT UP AND WATCH THE OSCARS WITH ME!!!!
Ewan: Okay…