I'll Be There for You

This is a collab between myself and my friend SurfaceMemory (we have a couple other collabs as well). This is our take on the FFXIII group as if they were the cast of the tv show 'Friends'.

Neither of us own Final Fantasy XIII, it belongs to Square Enix

"This one says Sexy Thing." she tossed it aside and picked up another one. "This one says Be My Bitch." she tossed it aside. "This one says Fine Ass." she picked up another one. "This one says..." Lightning cut her off.

"Would you stop making up phrases on the candy hearts!"

"And this one says I'm Lightning and I'm no fun." Fang said. Just then the door burst open and in rushed Serah Farron looking more than simply disheveled.

"My stupid boyfriend just broke up with me!" she whimpered as she stormed over to the couch.

"'ere, this one says tough shit." Fang said handing a candy heart over to Serah.

"Fang!" Lightning scolded her as she put her arms around Serah.

"Well if it makes yeh feel any better, I didn't like that kid much anyway. Bloody douchebag." Fang muttered before popping a candy heart into her mouth and returning her attention to the TV Screen before her.

"But I really liked him! All week he was so nervous around me! I thought for sure he was gonna pop the question!" Serah wailed into Lightning's arms, the door to the apartment was pulled open again as Vanille came crashing in.

"Serah! Are you okay? I saw you run right by me! What did Firion do to you?" she asked running towards the already full couch, jumping over the back and squeezing herself between Lightning and Fang.

"What the hell! Can't ya see I'm tryin' to do stuff!" Fang muttered amidst this crowded couch.

"Fang! This is important!" Vanille said.

"No I'm not okay! It's Firion…he said he found a rose more beautiful than I." Serah wailed. Fang groaned.

"Translated, that means I'm fuckin' someone else. See? It says it right here on this heart." Fang said before crunching it violently. Lightning sighed.

"As much as I hate to admit this, Fang might be on to something." She said as she attempted to console her sister.

"What am I gonna do! I thought things were going so well!" Serah sulked.

"You know, I didn't think Firion was capable of cheating." Lightning muttered as she looked over Serah and at her two other friends. "He was such a nice boy."

"More like a dumbass." Fang grumbled as she crushed three more hearts between her teeth. "I mean, what's wrong with Serah here? Yeah she's short, but that never stopped no one before!"

Serah just wailed even louder, pushing away from Lightning and then clinging onto Vanille. The red head flinched slightly at the unexpected weight change. Lightning frowned slightly.

"Fang call the guys, not like they're doing anything else tonight." Lightning stated.

"Wait! No pity ice cream?" Vanille whined

"This is why I hate Valentine's Day." Lightning muttered.

"Why because there's no ice cream? There's a gallon in the freezer." Fang said picking up the phone. Vanille left Serah's side and darted towards the refrigerator as quickly as she could.

"No, that's not the reason. It's because of this! Look how upset she is! Just because someone out there somewhere made some stupid rule that you have to be with someone on Valentine's Day!" Lightning ranted. Fang placed one of her candy hearts on the table in front of her and crushed it with her fist.

"There's only one cure for a broken heart…" Fang's sentence was interrupted by the door flinging open again.

"Hey, what's going on?" Hope asked as he pulled his coat off.

"…And that is definitely not it." Fang finished her sentence.

"Hey, Firion broke up with Serah!" Vanille said struggling to hold a fist full of spoons and the gallon of ice cream.

"Are you…are you serious! I thought you said you two were in to each and that everything was going so well!" Hope said sitting on the chair beside the couch.

"Hope, what does it mean when a guy tells you he's found a rose more beautiful?" Serah asked.

"Oh, well…clearly he's sleepin' with someone else." Hope said.

"Ha!" Fang exclaimed as she pointed at Lightning and crushed another heart with her fist. Lightning tried to steal the hearts away from Fang, but the woman brandished the cordless phone like a sword in front of her. Serah wailed even louder. Vanille quickly sat back down beside Serah with the ice cream, trying to help distract the younger Farron as Fang and Lightning fought for the right of the hearts.

"Don't worry Serah, it happens a lot, so my dad says. Valentine's Day is still one of the worst ways to break up with someone." Hope said.

"Nope." Vanille shot back, pulling her spoon out of her mouth. "Text messaging break up, that's happened to a friend of mine before, she was pissed." she scooped another spoonful. "She went and slashed all four tires of his beloved car."

"Damn." Fang stopped for a moment to look at Vanille, the girl nodded, giving Lightning the opening to snatch the bag away.

"Yeah? That's not half of it too, she keyed his car too, that's really hard to fix too." Lightning then crushed a handful of candy hearts between her own teeth.

"Remind me to never date any of your friends." Hope muttered to Vanille.

"Hey, which of us would you rather punch?" Snow asked as he and Sazh made their grand entrance into sob fest.

"That's easy. Snow. I'd punch yeh in a heartbeat." Fang answered matter of factly as she reached and strained to get the sugary heart back from Lightning.

"Aww, I wouldn't punch either of you!" Vanille said shoving another spoonful in to her mouth." Lightning rolled her eyes at Vanille and turned her back toward Fang.

"If a guy says he's found a rose more beautiful what does that mean?" Serah asked completely disregarding their question.

"He's sleepin' with someone." Sazh answered quickly.

"Is that a gardening question?" Snow asked.

"Idiot." Lightning mumbled under her breath as she slapped at Fang's hand.

"Why you ask? And what's with the ice cream?" Sazh asked joining everyone else around the couch.

"Serah's boyfriend broke up with her so we're sulking with frozen dairy!" Vanille said happily.

"Oh... oh dear... you poor gal." Sazh muttered as he quickly walked around the couch, he was the eldest of them all, the only one in the group being previously married and having a son of his own. He sat down beside Serah and pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry, Old Man Sazh has ya now."

"So that's why we're all here?" Snow asked idly as he rummaged through the fridge of Lightning's and Serah's shared apartment. "Firion broke up with Serah?"

"Didn't you get the memo when I called ya?" Fang asked, brow raised just slightly as she stared at Snow. "Were you dropped on your head or something?"

"No, just a little buzzed, I was at the Seventh Heaven before I came here. I planned on getting drunk tonight." Snow muttered back as he pulled out a bottle of water. "This day sucks if you don't have a date."

"We're well aware of that Snow." Lightning muttered, Serah was still sobbing slightly and Vanille was the only one eating the ice cream.

"I just don't understand!" Serah cried out once more. "If he was cheating, why did he wait so long? I thought he was gonna pop the question!"

"How long have you two been dating anyway?" Hope asked idly, Serah looked up slightly.

"Since high school."

"Wow…no wonder you thought things were going so well." Hope said feeling himself a bit bummed.

"We should order the Snowy Special. That makes everything better." Snow said still looking through the fridge.

"Snow's right. Serah, I know you're upset sweetie. But what's all the cryin' gonna do? How's that workin' for yeh? I agree with Snow, we order two pizzas and get a hella lot a beer." Fang said.

"That's my girl!" Snow said to Fang finally pulling a can of something out of the fridge.

"I will never be your girl!" Fang said throwing a handful of conversation hearts at Snow.

"Ack! What are you throwing at me? Candy Hearts?" Snow shouted as he picked up the colorful things Fang had thrown at him. Lightning sighed and reached across the couch for the phone as she dialed for pizza. Serah took the time to go to her bedroom to clean herself up.

"Well if it's beer we all want, I'll be the man to go and get it." Sazh stood up and stretched. "I'll be back before you know it." he went to leave but Vanille, still with the ice cream, looked over the back of the couch.

"Hey Sazh, where's Dajh?"

"Over at a friend's. Playdate you know?" the older man grinned before leaving. The group left in the main room of the apartment sat in silent, for the exception of Fang crushing hearts one by one with her teeth. Fang laughed stupidly.

"Playdate. I've had one a those before." She stated

"Fang, you're such a slut." Vanille said.

"Shut up!" Fang snapped at her.

"You know what? One of my best memories of Valentine's Day was when me and my dad surprised my mom with a dinner we cooked ourselves. She was so surprised and she needed a break anyway, you know?" Hope shared sincerely.

"Awww Hope! That's so sweet!" Vanille said. "That's what we should do! We should think about the good things that have happened to us instead of the bad ones!"

"I remember bein' naked and…" Fang started but Lightning cut her off.

"Do you have any holiday memories where your clothes are on!" Lightning asked shaking her head.

"At least I'm not Sazh who starts all of his holiday stories with so I was clipping coupons when…" Fang started, waving her hands around animatedly.

"Hey! He's not even here to defend himself!" Snow shouted sticking up for Sazh.

"Well don't just accuse me of sleepin' 'round! I don't do that!" Fang snapped back and Lightning as she reached out to touch the Farron's chin with two fingers. "Whadda 'bout you Sunshine? You slept with anyone?"

"What makes you think I haven't?" Lightning sneered back, Fang grinned.

"So what was his name?"

"Does it matter?" Lightning asked with eyebrows raised.

"Wait? You mean Lightning isn't a virgin?" Snow asked loudly. "All of this time I thought she was!"

"Snow, you're an idiot." Fang grumbled.

"I told you I wouldn't be long." Sazh said coming through the door.

"We're not done with this!" Fang said pointing a finger at Lightning.

"Serah gets the first bottle!" Vanille said reaching her hands up to Sazh to help him with one of the two bags he had in his hands. She wasted no time emptying the bag and shoving a quickly opened bottle into Serah's hands.

"Here's to your stupid ex-boyfriend!" Vanille said clanging a bottle in to Serah's. That earned a smile from Serah.

"Thanks guys." Serah stated, everyone laughed and chuckled. "I guess days like today is better off being spent with friends rather than stupid boyfriends." she muttered drinking the alcohol. Lightning sat down on the coffee table before the couch as Fang decided to sit beside her with the bag of candy hearts.

"This one says." she started as she pulled it out of the bag. "Friends are better."

She then crushed it between her teeth.

"Do those hearts really say that stuff?" Snow asked Fang seriously as he joined everyone else in the room. Fang just threw another handful at him. "What the…fine just give me a beer, Vanille." Snow muttered.

"You said you were at the bar before you came here. Were you gonna get laid?" Fang asked reaching a hand out toward Vanille.

"I don't know. Probably not. No one hits on me and I don't hit on anyone." He confessed.

"Why not? You're Snow Villiers! Could you be any better looking" Hope said.

"Could you be any more gay?" Fang said throwing a heart at Hope.

"Is that a bottomless bag or something?" Lightning stared at Fang. "You've been working on them all afternoon!" she snatched the bag back only to see that it was still nearly full, and the woman had been throwing them at people too!

"No love, it was just a really full bag when I bought it." Fang grinned as she reached in and pulled out a heart, on the small sugar candy it read 'kiss me' the tanned woman grinned and pecked Lightning on the cheek.

"Now that's gay." Hope muttered.

"You just wish you were old enough to play." Fang grinned.

"So hey, I told you all about my favorite Valentine's Day memory but none of you have told me yours." Hope said not tolerating the taste of beer well. Fang would be taunting him by the end of the night.

"My favorite Valentine's Day was when me and Dajh's momma went on a weekend trip up north to this bed and breakfast." Sazh said shaking his head.

"That is the most random thing I have ever heard in my life!" Snow said.

"I serious! We had been married for almost a year and we were driving back from a family reunion. We saw this place and thought why not stay for a night or two…and so we did." Sazh laughed and shook his head as he opened up his bottle. "Dajh showed up nine months later."

"Aww, I love Dajh! My turn! My turn! Okay, my favorite was when I baked over 100 heart shaped cookies but then since I didn't have pink icing I put green icing on them!" Vanille said giggling.

"Vanille! You did that last year and put yourself into a sugar coma eating so many of them!" Fang shouted back.

"100 of them?" Serah giggled slightly. "You must have been baking for like... ever."

"All day!" Vanille chirped, "So Snow, what about you?"

"Umm." Snow thought for a moment. "I don't think I have one, I usually wake up drunk and alone the next day." he took a swig of his drink. "That's tradition for me. Lightning, your turn." He grinned, the older Farron just pulled out a candy heart from Fang's bag and crushed it.

"I'd rather not say." she muttered softly, Fang nudged her lightly on the side.

"Aww, don't be shy, my best memory? Well I do enjoy doing this." She then crushed the heart in her hands. "But let me tell ya' about this one Valentine's Day…it was crazy. I slept with this hot chick and…naaaaah you all don't wanna hear about this." Fang said laughing.

"Please tell us more. You have my complete attention." Snow told her. Lightning studied Fang carefully. There was a strange look on her face.

"Hope's too sweet. I can't go pollutin' his mind." Fang said.

"Fine! I'll tell mine then." Serah said. "Aww…it involves Firion though." She said feeling down again.

"No! You have to tell one that's not him." Hope said.

"Hmmm…let me think about that." She said. There was a knock at the door. It was certainly the pizza.

"I'll get it!" Snow said not wasting any time getting up and rushing the door.

"I wonder what happens if I put one of these hearts in his beer?" Fang asked as she experimented with Snow's drink.

"You say beer funny." Hope said rather stupidly. What he was only three-quarters through one beer and he was already buzzed! "Say it again!" he giggled.

"Beeeeeer." Fang sung; Lightning could feel her skin tingle a little when Fang said it.

"Move ladies." Snow said shooing Lightning and Fang off the table to make room for the pizzas.

"I'll get some paper towels." Sazh offered.

"Do we need coasters?" Lightning asked.

"No. Why would we need coasters?" Snow asked.

"I don't want any rings left anywhere." Lightning said.

"This one is supreme and this one is pepperoni." Snow said.

"You guys…I'm a virgin." Hope said out of absolutely nowhere.

"Okay, Hope…we'll come back to that. But first…ooooooh Etro!" Snow shouted.

"Damn, he is drunk after one beer. Someone get him another one." Serah said more than amused by this.

"How old are you now Hope? 19? You're just a couple years younger than Serah right?" Fang asked. "And you haven't slept with anyone? Damn to be a virgin durin' ya high school prom, depressin'." Fang sighed as she took a slice of pizza. Then she looked over to Lightning, pulling out a heart that stated 'Be Mine'. Lightning took the heart from Fang's hand and crushed it.

"Anyway Lightning." Hope was leaning too far to the side, he was going to fall of the chair soon. "What's your story?" Lightning sighed.

"Well um…it was last year. I was away at…a military training thing and…that was when I met and kinda'…fooled around with Cid Raines." Lightning admitted.

"This heart says we're gonna need more details than that." Fang said narrowing her eyes at Lightning.

"It was just so…it all happened so fast. One minute me and Cid were partners for a drill and the next minute we were…you know…more. Then before I knew it we were dating!" Lightning said seemingly frustrated with herself.

"Wait, that can't count as your best Valentine's Day memory because you and Cid eventually broke up." Serah said.

"Sure it can. Just because we broke up doesn't mean there were some good times in between." Lightning muttered.

"Are you saying that Valentine's Day last year was a good time?" Fang asked narrowing her eyes at Lightning.

"I must admit…that it was a good time." Lightning said staring at the floor.

"So why did you break up?" Vanille asked, just finishing off the ice cream. Lightning sighed.

"Told him about my... preferences, he didn't… he... he didn't approve of them, he left... haven't spoken to him since." Lightning then grabbed a handful of hearts and crushed them. "I haven't bothered with relationships since."

"Depressin'" Fang sighed as she drank her beer. "Stupid wanker, if he truly loved you, it shouldn't matter what your bloody preferences are anyway..." she narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to Lightning. "What is your preference anyway Lightning?"

"I'd rather not say." Farron muttered and ate her pizza. "Should we rent a movie for tonight?"

"Hey!" No changing the subject!" Fang shouted out.

"I bet you're into something really crazy that not even Cid could handle." Sazh said. Lightning couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile. Oh if Sazh only knew.

"Back to this movie thing. Yes! We should rent something!" Vanille said happily.

"No! That means one of us has to go rent it." Snow said.

"Not really. We have plenty of stuff we haven't seen in forever." Serah said.

"Let's watch the video of Lightning's 21st birthday party! Oh yeah! That video is so great!" Snow said.

"No!" Lightning said emphatically.

"Yes! Please!" Fang said as Snow got up to get it.

"Bloody Maker!" Lightning groaned shoving her face into her palm.

"You guys still make home movies?" Hope slurred before falling off his seat laughing.

"We're not watching that!" Lightning shouted, tackling Serah to the ground when she got up to go get the stash of recorded videos with Snow. "Please!"

"Nuuu! Today was my breakup! I can watch what I wanna watch!"

"And this one says; let the girl have her way." Fang stated as she pulled out yet another heart and crunched down on it. "It can't be that bad Lightning."

"Fang, you were just as drunk as I was during that party." Lightning sneered. Fang laughed stupidly.

"Yeah I was!" she answered.

"Fang what the hell did you do to my beer!" Snow asked as he and Serah returned with a small box.

"Oh I had completely forgotten about that. Relax love; I just spiked it a bit." Fang said.

"Here we go Lightning's….Hope are you okay?" Snow asked him.

"I'm fine." Hope answered as he rolled around a bit in the floor.

"Here Hope. This heart is for you. It says lightweight virgin." Fang said laughing.

"Fang you're a bitch." Sazh said.

"I speak truths!" Fang shouted. "Oh! This is starting! Damn I had forgotten it opened with Cid kissing Lightning like that. Shit…that was one pretty boy…and says a lot comin' from me." Fang said as she looked at Lightning. She knew there was more to this story of Cid and Lightning…and she was going to get to the bottom of it.