When I'm afraid of you

When I'm afraid of you…

Summary: What Ichigo had wished for in a wishing star…was only fulfilled in his death by Grimmjow

Warning: Angst? AU, maybe very little OOC

Fandom: Bleach

Pairing: Grimm/Ichi

Notation: Inspired by 2 things: coffee and song. Enjoy the story and RnR!

When I first touched this little star,

I could not believe I had just seen the reality of its brightness;

I heard a lot of praises from numerous people about the stars

But if only…

If only you believe it with me…

There will be no death, I promise you

There will be this smile to tell you;

I love you so…

Grimmjow didn't like the dark, he believe that the dark and night had critical eyes on him somewhere up there or anywhere he went—he felt like he was being drowned into a sea of insults and many cruel eyes watching him.

Grimmjow this.

Grimmjow that.

He won the fight with Ichigo, and he had let the orange-haired youth go just to recover himself for the next upcoming fight. He didn't exactly care how long it would take, just as long as he would have his hands on that guy and finish him off just like the 6th Espada rank he kept as his pride and his future.

Yes indeed, his future.

It lies within him, that wicked pride with that wicked smile. When he finished his rival there and then, he had nothing to worry anymore. His reputation will not be a scratch, die in vain.

Never.

But little did he know, the more he come to think about Ichigo, the more he felt a certain stir of emotion mixed up in him. He never liked it; no…he hated this change of emotions.

He frowned, then scowled and then clenched his eyes painfully to the mixing emotions in him that began to grow so strong, he suddenly dropped to his knees on the ground, head held in his hands.

"Damn you!! Kurosaki!!" He hissed under his breath, twenty shades of blush coloring lines over his face as he suddenly thought of Ichigo.

He thought of that guy.

What was he thinking?

No…

He can't get Ichigo off his mind.

Any sooner….

Just ANY sooner…

He felt like…like….he wanted to….kiss him.

"K-Kurosaki!!" He growled loudly, almost sounded like a loud screech of pain from his lips and he clenched his head harder in his hands, desperately wanting to kill these emotions away and think of it as just a nightmare.

But the feeling inside him felt so pleasant; it was hardly even a nightmare.

"Grimmjow?"

He wondered just what is wrong with this day. First he started to think of killing him, and then he started to think he didn't want to harm him…that he wanted to kiss him, and now…he's hearing his voice?

However, by the time Grimmjow held his head up high and then a frown that decorated his face and his blushes heating up as he thought he just got himself into a strange unfortunate day.

Ichigo stood before him, with an umbrella in his hand and looked down at him. No more with those determined eyes, the eyes of strong determination to kill the Arrancar. But those normal chocolate eyes, confused…and looking rather…normal.

Didn't he feel threatened?

Was one question probing in Grimmjow's mind.

Grimmjow could have shot up and automatically ready himself in defense stance but…he didn't know why, his body froze.

"…..What are you doing?" Ichigo asked, baffled until he knelt down to have a proper eye contact with him.

Grimmjow frowned and was about to growl but stopped himself.

"What you mean I'm doing here! What are YOU doing here?" He cried rudely, growling.

Ichigo frowned, tolerating the Arrancar's typical mannerism but only exhaled a low sigh and surprising the Arrancar, he smiled.

"I was on my way to the shop to buy some late night snacks. At least I hope if is open—"

"Aren't you going to kill me?" Grimmjow cut him off, eyeing the younger one with a raised eyebrow.

Ichigo was amused for a moment but only chuckled and shook his head.

"Nah, it would be too obvious and troublesome…b-besides…I-I thought we could…take a walk. Together. I'll buy you some ice-cream if you want."

Who is he kidding?

What in hell is Ichigo talking about?

Why was he stuttering with his words?

Did he just blush?

And did he just say….take a walk? Together?

Grimmjow felt like he could have instantly commit a mental suicide because of all this but he had to live—to search answers to these.

After all, oddly, he didn't mind all that.

"……..Sure." Grimmjow finally decided before standing up with Ichigo, who was still blushing and looked away.

Grimmjow blinked furiously, thinking all this is just plain awkwardness but if he wanted to question something, he didn't know how to start.

"Is not like I'm going to kill you, Grimmjow. I really don't intend to do it now…." Ichigo said, rolled his eyes and turned around, walking ahead to the local park.

Grimmjow followed.

"Now?" Grimmjow repeated sarcastically.

Ichigo sighed irritably before shaking his head and continued walking, ignoring the Arrancar for a moment.

There was a long string of silence airing the two of them as they walked, and strangely, neither of them thought about plotting to kill each other. Or even strategizing, or even clouding their minds about who is going to dominate the left part of the cloud or the north and then booming here and there and trying to predict who have dominated the whole battle.

But they were both thinking on the same thing:

Just why am I thinking of him?

It wasn't until Ichigo had stopped near a tree and looked over to the Arrancar, who was a little too quiet for his taste. But Ichigo wrinkled his nose and smiled slightly at the Arrancar, liking this….strange side of him.

If only he could tell him that.

"You are…weird now." Ichigo commented, in a tone of voice he never thought he would use it on Grimmjow.

"So are you. Even weirder." Grimmjow replied with a light scoff and stood beside Ichigo, leaning against the tree as the two stare up the dark night sky.

Ichigo sighed and shrugged, "You know, Grimmjow…I never wanted to fight." He said, turning to him.

"I never did, Grimmjow. But you force me to—"

"I forced you?" Grimmjow snapped, feeling acutely offended.

"I only fought because your eyes—when they were set upon me….they are telling me how much you want me to die in your hands. Isn't that true?" Ichigo said, his voice heaved with solemnity and…….disappointment?

But disappointed…about what?

When it came to Ichigo's come back, Grimmjow took a moment of silence as he realized what all he said was entirely true. Yet regretfully true.

Ichigo knew he had all the points right, as he let out a sigh; he turned back to the stars.

"A wishing star…I wonder when will it be…" Ichigo murmured.

Curious, Grimmjow turned to him with a cocked eyebrow.

"What are you wishing for anyway?" He asked, sounded as if he hardly care.

Ichigo smiled and shook his head before leaning his head against the tree.

"You…wouldn't believe it, Grimmjow…"

--

Grimmjow had it all wrong as he widened his eyes, and realizing his hand shot right through Ichigo's injured body….

He knew he had finished him off. Just as he always wanted before.

But then he realized…the feeling that killed inside him and the realization that his lust for Ichigo's blood and to witness his death as his pride—had all faded away.

He realized it now. It was love.

"K-Kurosaki…" He breathed his name, widening his eyes in horror as he realized the blood of Ichigo's soaking his hand.

Ichigo held back a scream. Instead, he smiled weakly before holding his hand and forcing the bloody hand out from his huge wound—which was a horrifying creation of near-death.

"K-Kurosaki!!" Grimmjow shouted, not realizing his eyes started to water. Tears.

Arrancar never had tears…

Not for a Shinigami.

Ichigo had changed him. He didn't want all that to be taken away…not now. Not ever. But it was far too late right now.

As Ichigo fell on the ground, the blood didn't stop flowing as it created a huge pool of blood around the circle of their battle field.

Ichigo trembled and his hand lose its grip on his Zanketsu…

Zanketsu.

I don't want to fight anymore…

I want to end it…

For…

For Grimmjow...

"Kurosaki!! No!! Don't die on me damnit!!" Grimmjow cried, tears flowing from his cheek as he was still in his bankai form. Pantera was ignored and in his eyes, his heart, his everything focused on Ichigo.

Grimmjow picked him up in his arms, shaking him violently in hopes to gain Ichigo's consciousness back in full but…

Ichigo didn't have a chance to.

"KUROSAKI!!" Grimmjow screamed, squeezing his tearful eyes and pulled his limp body close to him as he held his love so tight in his arms, he prayed so hard to whatever he can think of in his rushing worried mind.

He had everything now…

But that everything…

Will be nothing soon.

"G-Grimmjow…." Whispered Ichigo's weak voice in his ear.

Grimmjow tilted his head lightly; but didn't say a word as he tried to transfer his energy into him, to recover him as quickly as possible but Ichigo's trembling hand gripped his. A gesture for him to stop.

Grimmjow widened his eyes.

"You know what….I wished for….upon a wishing star…?"

"K-Kurosaki…no….d-don't die on me…." Grimmjow said in a low voice that sounded like a plea.

Ichigo smiled and with the last of his strength, he pressed his lips on Grimmjow's and closed his eyes before that last strength left him and he smiled…in his death.

To kiss you at this very last minute.

-End-