Title: The Other Point of View
Author: Su Freund
Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website:
Status: Complete
Category: AU, Drama, Romance
Pairings: Jack & Sam
Spoilers: Torment of Tantalus, There But For The Grace of God, Enigma, Tok'ra Part 1, Learning Curve - and really gigantic ones for Point of View.
Season: 3
Sequel/Series Info: None
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: Use of minor bad language and some references to sex.
Summary: One Jack is a handful, but two...?
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2004 Su Freund
File Size: 109 KB
Archive: My own site. SJD, yes. Jackfic, yes. Gateworld, FanFiction Net
Author's Notes:
1. A special mention should go to Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright, who wrote the original script for 'Point of View'. I have borrowed from the transcript in some parts of this fic, manipulating the words, and the characters who speak them, to suit my own purpose in a few places.
2. My thanks to the SG1-Transcripts Yahoo Group for the transcript.
3. Special thanks to Jodi Marie for the wonderful photo manipulations she did especially for this fan fic and the collages she made from them. I feel honoured that she agreed to use her talents to illustrate this fic. The illustrated version of this fic can be found on my fic with fins site. Believe you me, it is worth looking!
4. And last but not least, of course, thanks to my wonderful beta Bonnie for all her hard work on my fic and very helpful suggestions
The Other Point of View
Prologue:
He knew the place so well, but it was different. It gave him a very spooky feeling. Janet poked and prodded, shone a pen light in his eyes; did all the usual stuff. Yet she was different; her hair looked softer around her face, but he still couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then he realised what it was; she was happier, more buoyant, despite her obvious fear of him and what he represented. Her heels tip tapped over the floor as she walked around the infirmary checking and adjusting things. He didn't have a clue what the hell she was doing, but found it a comfort anyway.
Hammond stood to one side with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was expressionless, but O'Neill knew he had to be curious about him; they all must be. Two armed SFs stood equally dispassionately at the doorway; they were there to keep him in. He wasn't going anywhere. Where could he go? There was nothing left; no one worth going to.
When Carter walked in the SFs tried to stop her but Hammond nodded his assent. O'Neill's heart skipped a few beats and he swallowed hard. Crap! He should have anticipated this; prepared himself. He hadn't been able to bring himself to even think about it. As she saw him on the bed she stopped in her tracks; a classic double take.
Oh, god! he thought. This was what he should have dreaded, and also what he most wanted. Sam. She noticed the pain temporarily darken his face, then it was gone. Her eyebrows and forehead furrowed as she peered at him curiously, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Colonel O'Neill?" She was obviously startled, not expecting to see him there. Turning towards Hammond she acknowledged the base commander with a nod, "Sir?"
She turned back to look again at O'Neill. It wasn't him. This wasn't her Colonel. There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
*********************
When Jack got back from leave the next day he was in for one heck of a surprise. He'd been at the cabin for a few days, licking his latest wounds and clearing his head ready for the next bad hand to be dealt to him. He popped his head around Hammond's open door.
"Knock, knock, sir." He smiled cheekily at Hammond. "I'm told you wanted to see me as soon as I got in?"
"Jack." Hammond sighed, Jack wasn't going to like this. "Have a good time in Minnesota?"
"Um... yes sir. Fishing, sun, beautiful scenery. Hard to beat, sir."
Hammond indicated that he should sit down.
"Jack, something happened while you were away..." There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
********************
Chapter 1:
Half an hour later, Jack stood face to face with himself. It was weird. The two O'Neills looked at each other warily; two cats wishing to protect their home turf. Except that, for one of them, this was not his home turf. That was all too clear to him and he backed off.
"So..." The real Jack sat facing his double. "tell me about it." Then he leaned back in his chair and waited.
His double had already been debriefed, but understood Jack's need to interrogate him and hear it all for himself.
The situation in his reality had been hopeless. After the Goa'uld attack, he was the last one left alive in the mountain. All his escape routes were cut off; he had no real means of defence anymore, never mind the ability to attack. Then he had remembered the quantum mirror. Sam had tried to explain it all to him, the alternate reality thing. He understood the principle, but he still didn't truly understand. He just trusted Sam to be right. More often then not she was.
He was boxed into a corner by searching Jaffa. Their lord, Apophis, wanted him alive; wanted to make him suffer for his, albeit pointless, resistance. He had been making his enemies' lives as miserable as he could. O'Neill knew the mountain better than anybody, all the passages and rooms. He had managed to fight a guerrilla action for a couple of days. Now they were nearly on him and he was short of options.
If he was going to die he would take as many of them with him as possible. He vowed to do this somehow but was virtually out of ammo, only had one grenade left and no more C4. He couldn't get off world to find allies to help them and he couldn't get out of the mountain to form any opposition or rebellion. Perhaps people in an alternative reality might have a way to help. It was already too late for his colleagues and friends, but it may not be too late for his planet; they might be able to salvage something from the world-wide decimation wrought by the relentless Jaffa.
So in the end he had chosen life rather than to die in vain. He would seek help and get the bastards somehow; get his revenge. The enemy had destroyed his world, his friends, his wife, and his whole life.
The 'real ' Jack had looked closely at O'Neill when he spoke of his wife.
"Sara?" He whispered, almost under his breath, but O'Neill had heard and shook his head.
"Sam. Sam Carter. She wasn't in the Air Force in my reality. Doctor Samantha Carter. They killed her." O'Neill briefly looked miserable at the memory of her loss and then his expression went blank. Jack recognised that suppression of feelings. He had done it so many times he'd lost count.
Jack was stunned. Carter? That was impossible, she was his 2IC. Not in O'Neill's reality, apparently. Jack thought it ridiculous, funny even. He didn't even think of her that way. That wasn't strictly true, he just didn't allow himself to dwell or act upon it. He had been attracted to her from day one. She was a beautiful looking woman and there was something indefinable about her that he could never even start to describe. She hadn't shown any interest in him and who could blame her? Even if she had, he could have done nothing about it.
"Does Carter know?" he asked O'Neill.
"Yes."
"Ha! Bet that came as quite a shock." He laughed. She probably thought it the most preposterous thing she had ever heard.
He shook himself out of the thought, swiftly moving back to the business at hand. Jack wanted to ask O'Neill lots of questions and O'Neill anticipated most of them. He knew this interrogator well; it was him. He knew what Jack needed to know, how much detail to impart. He almost knew what Jack was thinking.
"I know you won't want to stick your neck out to help me. You're asking why you should risk the lives of your own people to save my butt? I'm not asking you to save my butt. I'm asking you to help me do something to salvage what's left of Earth, my planet, and my home. Think about it Jack. Please."
A little later, O'Neill turned the tables on Jack, asking him questions. He was appalled by Teal'c's presence at the SGC and wondered how Jack could stomach working with him; curious as to how it had come about that the SGC of this reality had such fundamental differences to his own. Voicing his distrust and loathing of the Jaffa provoked anger in Jack, who rose to the defence of his friend.
"Look, I understand that the Teal'c in your reality was still First Prime to Apophis, killed your wife, helped to destroy your world. I guess I wouldn't feel much different if I were you. But our Teal'c is loyal to us. You can trust him, believe me." O'Neill shook his head, still not sure how to reconcile himself with it all.
"How is it that your fate is so different to ours? Is it Teal'c? Did he make the difference? How was it that he joined you?"
"Well, it had something to do with meeting you... I mean me. He felt inspired or something, must be my natural charm and charisma." Jack shrugged. "The guy's got a strange sense of humour. Go figure!"
O'Neill smiled at the man who was speaking in his own manner. This was spooky. Jack continued.
"Lots of things seem to be different in this reality. There's you and Sam for starters." He coughed to cover his discomfort at that notion. "Carter is an important and integral member of my team. So is Daniel Jackson. It seems you don't even know a Daniel Jackson in your reality."
"I'm surprised you're happy having two geeks on your team. I wouldn't have been." Replied O'Neill, wondering just how different this O'Neill was from him. Not that different, he figured. Maybe circumstances had changed him a little.
"See... there's one difference right there. Daniel may be a geek but he's my geek, and a good friend. His curiosity and determination to make friends everywhere he goes has got us into more trouble than I can recount. But he's also damned good at what he does and has saved our asses a few times too. And Carter? Well you married her in your reality so you can't think she's that much of a geek. Here? She's a good officer, not a geek. I have a great team. We fit."
"You never thought of Sam that way? You know..." O'Neill was curious; not believing that this Jack could possibly have overlooked Sam's other attributes.
"No. Of course not. She's one of my team."
He felt himself reddening slightly, confirming the lie on his lips, and deftly changed the subject. It did not go unnoticed by O'Neill. He knew this man too well to be taken in and recognised his counterpart lying even to himself. He thought it sad that this O'Neill hadn't found the happiness he had, even though it had been all too brief. He chose to say nothing more about it and let his double manoeuvre the conversation away from the subject.
When Jack eventually left his counterpart he felt pretty freaked out by the whole experience. Sure he talked to himself, but never literally. That Carter thing was pretty strange too. He recalled Daniel mentioning that he and Carter had been engaged to each other, in that other reality he had been in. He felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach; it made him edgy but he couldn't place what it was. It was probably just this doppelganger thing, that and the idea that the Earth had been destroyed by the Goa'uld. In this reality they'd been lucky and had defeated Apophis.
******************
O'Neill was a little spooked too. It was a strange thing to be confronted by yourself; to have a conversation and almost sense and know the thoughts and feelings of the person you are talking to; to second guess him. Even stranger had been meeting the double of his beloved wife. Her hair was short and she was in the forces but she was uncannily like his Sam, nonetheless.
He thought back to when he had first met his Sam. It had been before the original Abydos mission. She was working on the Stargate Project in the Pentagon, but had come to Cheyenne Mountain to help Catherine solve the mysteries of the gate on site. He had been too single-mindedly intent on self destruction to take much notice of her then. Besides, she was a scientist. He hated geeks; more trouble then they're worth in his experience. He made an honourable exception for Catherine.
Then, when the gate was re-opened a year later they had met again when she transferred permanently to the mountain. By then he had found that it was possible to live again, to be human. However, he had never expected to meet and fall for a woman so quickly and completely.
O'Neill had not believed it would ever be possible to possess those kinds of feelings again. What energy he had left when he returned from missions, he focussed on her. To his complete surprise, and utter delight, she had reciprocated his feelings. He couldn't believe his luck. They had married a year later.
A year after that, she was dead at the hands of the scum sucking snake heads. He felt so empty without her, missed her so terribly. So now he focussed on revenge - and retribution. He had taken down a fair few Jaffa before coming to this reality.
When Major Samantha Carter had walked into the infirmary in this reality he had been staggered. He should have known, or guessed, but had preferred not to even face that prospect. His stomach had flipped and heart hammered heavily in his chest at the sight of her. She had taken his breath away.
Sam! She was alive, here and now. He had wanted to go to her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her. Of course, he did none of these things. This was not his Sam; his Sam was dead. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut all over again. While she and Hammond were there he managed to keep himself together. Once they left he had thrown up the contents of his stomach, unable to stop himself.
After all the tests they allocated a room to him and posted a couple of SFs at the door. He lay on the bed depressed and alone, thinking about his wife and everything he had lost; how lucky they were in this reality to still have it all. He was determined to do something. It was not in his nature to sit on his ass doing nothing. He'd go back on his own and pick them off one by one if he had to.
A small knock on his door disturbed his thoughts. It was her and he hastily stood, trying to hide his confusion and dismay. He guessed she'd been sent to check if he was okay. Sam thought O'Neill looked exhausted and very pale.
"Sorry to disturb you. I... you look like you could use some rest. I'll come back later."
"Sam?" She looked surprised at his use of her first name. No doubt his double called her Carter; he was, after all, her CO in this reality. "Please stay. I could use some company." Your company, he thought.
He sat back down on the bed indicating the space next to him, and she sat slightly uncomfortably and with a tight-lipped smile on her lips. O'Neill looked a little spaced out and, perhaps, depressed.
"Look." She said to him in a sympathetic tone, "I can't ever begin to know what you've been through. I know...uh...I know you've lost a lot."
His face eyes glistened with moisture from tears he was determined to withhold and his chocolate eyes turned a shade or two darker. He was struggling for control, and found it.
"I lost you. I watched you die Sam. Three days ago, helping us to defend the mountain. And here you are, alive and safe in this perfect world, and you don't even know me. Yeah sure you betchya... I lost a lot." He laughed bitterly.
Sam followed his gaze to a photograph he kept on the nightstand. He had put it in his pocket and brought it with him. She looked at it dumbly. It was her, and the Colonel. She was in a wedding dress, he in dress uniform holding her close to him. They were smiling and looking happy. She gasped at that implication, looking from the picture up to O'Neill.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. Oh my God, they were married in his reality. Her pulse quickened and she blushed, hastily getting up. "I take it where you're from we were..."
"Married." He nodded, and seeing the dismayed expression on her face added, "This makes you uncomfortable"
"No, no, not at all. I just... Yes, it's a little unnerving. I..."
A knock at the door interrupted her and an airman entered with a tray of food.
"Sir? Sorry, Major, I didn't realise..." He said as he saw her.
"Just...put it on the table, airman." And she signalled that he should leave them.
"Yes Ma'am. Sir"
"Close the door on your way out." Said O'Neill and Sam suppressed a grin as she had been about to say the exact same thing. O'Neill approached the table where the airman had set down his meal.
"I haven't had a hot meal in forever. Just a couple of weeks ago, we were celebrating our first anniversary. Then we got the call that the Goa'uld ships had been spotted entering our solar system. We just left everything. I blew out the candles and you turned off the oven. We just left. They didn't hit Colorado Springs from orbit like most of the big cities, so the table must still be set." He was almost talking to himself, he said it so quietly and with a catch in his throat. "Cold by now." He added and looked towards Sam longingly.
"Yeah. Listen, um, I should probably be..." She rose from the bed and started walking towards the door.
"Stay." O'Neill begged her.
"Colonel..." She was trying to resist his entreaty; it was hard.
"Please."
"Look, you're dealing with a loss right now that I can't even begin to... What I mean is, maybe I'm not the right person to help you." She muttered as she tried to ignore the distress in his voice, but O'Neill raced over to her, taking her arm and turning her round to face him.
"Oh God, Sam, yes you are. You're the only one who can. I miss her so much. You don't have to say anything, just..." His voice was almost a whisper, a plea, and the pain was clearly etched on his face, in his eyes. He made no attempt to hide it this time.
Sam's heart went out to him and she took his hand and squeezed it in sympathy. This prompted him to take her in his arms and hold her close. Initially Sam felt uneasy, then let him, comforting him with her own soft caress. It felt good to be encircled in his strong arms; too good. She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't her Colonel. He would never do this, wasn't interested in her that way in the least. She had not realised until now quite how much she wanted him to be, deep down. She had buried those feelings. It was not possible in this reality.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, not sure what reply she wanted.
"I can't. I..." O'Neill faltered, "I loved her. We were happy. We were good together. Not much more I can say."
Internally, Sam was in turmoil, but she just nodded at him briefly. Lucky them, she thought, or maybe not so lucky. He had lost her and she could see that the pain of that loss was almost overwhelming to him. She led him back to the bed and just held him. If he wanted to talk he would. She knew he wouldn't though, not if he was anything like their O'Neill. This was what he needed, the physical comfort of her. Poor O'Neill, he'd lost a lot.
After a long time of silence and comfort Sam pleaded work and left him alone again. When she left he shed a silent tear and held the photo close to his heart, mourning her loss.
Sam felt flustered and confused. O'Neill had stirred the feelings within her that she had long suppressed. She shouldn't feel this way about her CO; couldn't allow it to surface like this. He was due back soon and she did not want him to sense or see anything of that. He'd probably have her off the team pronto. It would be too dangerous to let her stay. Even if there could never be anything like that between them - and she sincerely doubted he felt the same way - she wanted to stay on SG-1. She admired and respected the Colonel, his leadership, and would miss that; him, and the team. They had all become so much more than merely a team. It was important to her; they were important.
****************
Back in the present she was due to meet her team in the canteen in five minutes. It would be the first time she had seen their O'Neill since his double had arrived. She dreaded it, steeling herself for the feelings it might provoke within her.
When she arrived the others were already there. This Jack looked so different, yet the same.
"Hey Carter, nice of you to join us." Jack used his customary sarcastic manner to greet her.
"I'm not late, am I sir?" She answered defensively, looking briefly at her watch.
Jack just smiled enigmatically and Sam's legs went wobbly. She sat down opposite him, slightly shaky, trying to concentrate on her self control. Her heart rate had risen and she felt sure she must be a little red-faced.
They discussed the duplicate O'Neill situation. The Colonel was reluctant to offer help. O'Neill had been right about his thoughts on this; he was unwilling to risk lives for a reality that was not their own. Teal'c was inevitably on the Colonel's side; this reality was all that counted, he said. Carter and Daniel, however, were pleading with them to find a way of helping O'Neill's version of Earth. Had things been different they might have easily been in this situation themselves. They had made different choices, forged other alliances. There must be something they could do.
Quietly they argued through the whole thing; pros and cons. Jack kept glancing at Carter, curiously. As she was studiously trying to avoid his gaze, she didn't notice. He noticed her avoidance, however, and wondered how she felt about the alternate O'Neill, the marriage issue. His mind kept coming back to that, despite his best efforts. He had so been trying to ignore how he felt deep down about her that he had almost forgotten what he did feel until confronted with O'Neill's reality.
They had still reached no conclusions when they were called to the infirmary. O'Neill had been taken ill.
*******************
Janet didn't know what to think. She'd never seen anything like it before. O'Neill's face, his whole body, had distorted before her very eyes. He was not helped by the arrival of SG-1 in the infirmary. He rose from his bed when he saw Teal'c, calling him murderer. In his reality, Teal'c was still First Prime to Apophis; he had led the assault on the mountain, killed O'Neill's wife in front of his eyes. Teal'c left the infirmary, a tactical withdrawal, and Daniel followed him out. O'Neill didn't even know a Daniel Jackson in his reality so he thought it more diplomatic if he also withdrew.
O'Neill recalled his Sam talking to him about alternate realities. She'd lost him somewhat, but he had been trying to listen.
"My Sam mentioned something about... um... cascading trophy...something or other?" He gestured his frustration at not remembering what Sam had told him and could see by the bemused expressions that this Sam and the Doc didn't have a clue what he was talking about. "Alternate realities. Cascade... something, for crying out loud!"
Sam looked at Janet, still puzzled then smiled. She'd got it.
"Entropic Cascade failure!"
The two O'Neill's looked as confused and they had a few moments before.
"It's not medical, it's temporal. Entropic cascade failure, on a cellular level. I thought it would take years, not days. The increased entropy generated by two Colonel O'Neills existing in the same reality might...theoretically be causing a temporal distortion. It's a theory, although it seems it's not theoretical anymore." The O'Neills looked just as puzzled as ever. "Essentially, it's a side effect of travel through the quantum mirror."
. "Ok, so then how do I treat this?" Asked Janet.
"You can't." Sam replied, "the more time passes, the worse it should get."
"So I'm going to die here." O'Neill interjected.
"You're not gonna die." Jack stated emphatically.
"Actually, Sir..." The Colonel gave her one of his looks and she shrugged.
Once it had sunk in to the O'Neills it became clear as crystal; the O'Neill from the other side of the mirror could not stay in this reality. They had no choice but to find him a way to go home, or they were condemning him to a horrible death, sooner rather than later.
Jack noticed how solicitous Carter was towards O'Neill. It gave him pause for thought. Did she care about his double? This whole situation was confusing the hell out of him. He went off to speak to Hammond, leaving them alone.
******************
Agreeing with Hammond that they should try and find some way to help O'Neill, if they came up with a good plan, Jack returned to the infirmary to give his double the news. What he saw shook him to the core. Carter and O'Neill were locked in a kiss. This didn't seem to be any ordinary kiss. It appeared to have a passion and feeling that he had almost forgotten existed between a man and woman. Not able to bring himself to watch something so intimate, he coughed loudly to interrupt them.
Carter muttered "Sir", embarrassed, unable to look Jack in the eye and shifting nervously on her feet. O'Neill just winked at him. Jack wanted to knock his smug, self satisfied block off. Instead, he was all business, telling them about his discussions with Hammond and arranging for them to get together to discuss planning in thirty minutes.
Then he left them again feeling angry and upset. How dare this interloper take advantage of his 2IC. It should be him kissing Carter, not O'Neill. Oh god, Sam had fallen for a different version of him. The thought shocked him. He was jealous of himself, for crying out loud! It was crazy. For the first time his feelings for Sam struck him with a clarity he had never felt before. They were plain for him to see, not repressed and hidden deep as they normally were. Crap! What the hell was he supposed to do now?
His need to help O'Neill was suddenly even more pressing. He felt a desperate urge to get him safely back to his own reality; get rid of his rival. He knew it was stupid; it would do nothing to make Sam feel any differently towards him in this reality. In any event, what could he do about it even if she did feel like that about him? He started to dread their planned meeting; facing them would be hard. Jack spent the next thirty minutes fighting himself and his feelings. The Colonel, the tough and hardened soldier, within him won; at least for now, and on the surface. He was determined to show none of the inner turmoil. Carter must never know.
End Chapter 1
Continued in Chapter 2
Author: Su Freund
Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website:
Status: Complete
Category: AU, Drama, Romance
Pairings: Jack & Sam
Spoilers: Torment of Tantalus, There But For The Grace of God, Enigma, Tok'ra Part 1, Learning Curve - and really gigantic ones for Point of View.
Season: 3
Sequel/Series Info: None
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: Use of minor bad language and some references to sex.
Summary: One Jack is a handful, but two...?
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2004 Su Freund
File Size: 109 KB
Archive: My own site. SJD, yes. Jackfic, yes. Gateworld, FanFiction Net
Author's Notes:
1. A special mention should go to Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright, who wrote the original script for 'Point of View'. I have borrowed from the transcript in some parts of this fic, manipulating the words, and the characters who speak them, to suit my own purpose in a few places.
2. My thanks to the SG1-Transcripts Yahoo Group for the transcript.
3. Special thanks to Jodi Marie for the wonderful photo manipulations she did especially for this fan fic and the collages she made from them. I feel honoured that she agreed to use her talents to illustrate this fic. The illustrated version of this fic can be found on my fic with fins site. Believe you me, it is worth looking!
4. And last but not least, of course, thanks to my wonderful beta Bonnie for all her hard work on my fic and very helpful suggestions
The Other Point of View
Prologue:
He knew the place so well, but it was different. It gave him a very spooky feeling. Janet poked and prodded, shone a pen light in his eyes; did all the usual stuff. Yet she was different; her hair looked softer around her face, but he still couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then he realised what it was; she was happier, more buoyant, despite her obvious fear of him and what he represented. Her heels tip tapped over the floor as she walked around the infirmary checking and adjusting things. He didn't have a clue what the hell she was doing, but found it a comfort anyway.
Hammond stood to one side with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was expressionless, but O'Neill knew he had to be curious about him; they all must be. Two armed SFs stood equally dispassionately at the doorway; they were there to keep him in. He wasn't going anywhere. Where could he go? There was nothing left; no one worth going to.
When Carter walked in the SFs tried to stop her but Hammond nodded his assent. O'Neill's heart skipped a few beats and he swallowed hard. Crap! He should have anticipated this; prepared himself. He hadn't been able to bring himself to even think about it. As she saw him on the bed she stopped in her tracks; a classic double take.
Oh, god! he thought. This was what he should have dreaded, and also what he most wanted. Sam. She noticed the pain temporarily darken his face, then it was gone. Her eyebrows and forehead furrowed as she peered at him curiously, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Colonel O'Neill?" She was obviously startled, not expecting to see him there. Turning towards Hammond she acknowledged the base commander with a nod, "Sir?"
She turned back to look again at O'Neill. It wasn't him. This wasn't her Colonel. There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
*********************
When Jack got back from leave the next day he was in for one heck of a surprise. He'd been at the cabin for a few days, licking his latest wounds and clearing his head ready for the next bad hand to be dealt to him. He popped his head around Hammond's open door.
"Knock, knock, sir." He smiled cheekily at Hammond. "I'm told you wanted to see me as soon as I got in?"
"Jack." Hammond sighed, Jack wasn't going to like this. "Have a good time in Minnesota?"
"Um... yes sir. Fishing, sun, beautiful scenery. Hard to beat, sir."
Hammond indicated that he should sit down.
"Jack, something happened while you were away..." There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
********************
Chapter 1:
Half an hour later, Jack stood face to face with himself. It was weird. The two O'Neills looked at each other warily; two cats wishing to protect their home turf. Except that, for one of them, this was not his home turf. That was all too clear to him and he backed off.
"So..." The real Jack sat facing his double. "tell me about it." Then he leaned back in his chair and waited.
His double had already been debriefed, but understood Jack's need to interrogate him and hear it all for himself.
The situation in his reality had been hopeless. After the Goa'uld attack, he was the last one left alive in the mountain. All his escape routes were cut off; he had no real means of defence anymore, never mind the ability to attack. Then he had remembered the quantum mirror. Sam had tried to explain it all to him, the alternate reality thing. He understood the principle, but he still didn't truly understand. He just trusted Sam to be right. More often then not she was.
He was boxed into a corner by searching Jaffa. Their lord, Apophis, wanted him alive; wanted to make him suffer for his, albeit pointless, resistance. He had been making his enemies' lives as miserable as he could. O'Neill knew the mountain better than anybody, all the passages and rooms. He had managed to fight a guerrilla action for a couple of days. Now they were nearly on him and he was short of options.
If he was going to die he would take as many of them with him as possible. He vowed to do this somehow but was virtually out of ammo, only had one grenade left and no more C4. He couldn't get off world to find allies to help them and he couldn't get out of the mountain to form any opposition or rebellion. Perhaps people in an alternative reality might have a way to help. It was already too late for his colleagues and friends, but it may not be too late for his planet; they might be able to salvage something from the world-wide decimation wrought by the relentless Jaffa.
So in the end he had chosen life rather than to die in vain. He would seek help and get the bastards somehow; get his revenge. The enemy had destroyed his world, his friends, his wife, and his whole life.
The 'real ' Jack had looked closely at O'Neill when he spoke of his wife.
"Sara?" He whispered, almost under his breath, but O'Neill had heard and shook his head.
"Sam. Sam Carter. She wasn't in the Air Force in my reality. Doctor Samantha Carter. They killed her." O'Neill briefly looked miserable at the memory of her loss and then his expression went blank. Jack recognised that suppression of feelings. He had done it so many times he'd lost count.
Jack was stunned. Carter? That was impossible, she was his 2IC. Not in O'Neill's reality, apparently. Jack thought it ridiculous, funny even. He didn't even think of her that way. That wasn't strictly true, he just didn't allow himself to dwell or act upon it. He had been attracted to her from day one. She was a beautiful looking woman and there was something indefinable about her that he could never even start to describe. She hadn't shown any interest in him and who could blame her? Even if she had, he could have done nothing about it.
"Does Carter know?" he asked O'Neill.
"Yes."
"Ha! Bet that came as quite a shock." He laughed. She probably thought it the most preposterous thing she had ever heard.
He shook himself out of the thought, swiftly moving back to the business at hand. Jack wanted to ask O'Neill lots of questions and O'Neill anticipated most of them. He knew this interrogator well; it was him. He knew what Jack needed to know, how much detail to impart. He almost knew what Jack was thinking.
"I know you won't want to stick your neck out to help me. You're asking why you should risk the lives of your own people to save my butt? I'm not asking you to save my butt. I'm asking you to help me do something to salvage what's left of Earth, my planet, and my home. Think about it Jack. Please."
A little later, O'Neill turned the tables on Jack, asking him questions. He was appalled by Teal'c's presence at the SGC and wondered how Jack could stomach working with him; curious as to how it had come about that the SGC of this reality had such fundamental differences to his own. Voicing his distrust and loathing of the Jaffa provoked anger in Jack, who rose to the defence of his friend.
"Look, I understand that the Teal'c in your reality was still First Prime to Apophis, killed your wife, helped to destroy your world. I guess I wouldn't feel much different if I were you. But our Teal'c is loyal to us. You can trust him, believe me." O'Neill shook his head, still not sure how to reconcile himself with it all.
"How is it that your fate is so different to ours? Is it Teal'c? Did he make the difference? How was it that he joined you?"
"Well, it had something to do with meeting you... I mean me. He felt inspired or something, must be my natural charm and charisma." Jack shrugged. "The guy's got a strange sense of humour. Go figure!"
O'Neill smiled at the man who was speaking in his own manner. This was spooky. Jack continued.
"Lots of things seem to be different in this reality. There's you and Sam for starters." He coughed to cover his discomfort at that notion. "Carter is an important and integral member of my team. So is Daniel Jackson. It seems you don't even know a Daniel Jackson in your reality."
"I'm surprised you're happy having two geeks on your team. I wouldn't have been." Replied O'Neill, wondering just how different this O'Neill was from him. Not that different, he figured. Maybe circumstances had changed him a little.
"See... there's one difference right there. Daniel may be a geek but he's my geek, and a good friend. His curiosity and determination to make friends everywhere he goes has got us into more trouble than I can recount. But he's also damned good at what he does and has saved our asses a few times too. And Carter? Well you married her in your reality so you can't think she's that much of a geek. Here? She's a good officer, not a geek. I have a great team. We fit."
"You never thought of Sam that way? You know..." O'Neill was curious; not believing that this Jack could possibly have overlooked Sam's other attributes.
"No. Of course not. She's one of my team."
He felt himself reddening slightly, confirming the lie on his lips, and deftly changed the subject. It did not go unnoticed by O'Neill. He knew this man too well to be taken in and recognised his counterpart lying even to himself. He thought it sad that this O'Neill hadn't found the happiness he had, even though it had been all too brief. He chose to say nothing more about it and let his double manoeuvre the conversation away from the subject.
When Jack eventually left his counterpart he felt pretty freaked out by the whole experience. Sure he talked to himself, but never literally. That Carter thing was pretty strange too. He recalled Daniel mentioning that he and Carter had been engaged to each other, in that other reality he had been in. He felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach; it made him edgy but he couldn't place what it was. It was probably just this doppelganger thing, that and the idea that the Earth had been destroyed by the Goa'uld. In this reality they'd been lucky and had defeated Apophis.
******************
O'Neill was a little spooked too. It was a strange thing to be confronted by yourself; to have a conversation and almost sense and know the thoughts and feelings of the person you are talking to; to second guess him. Even stranger had been meeting the double of his beloved wife. Her hair was short and she was in the forces but she was uncannily like his Sam, nonetheless.
He thought back to when he had first met his Sam. It had been before the original Abydos mission. She was working on the Stargate Project in the Pentagon, but had come to Cheyenne Mountain to help Catherine solve the mysteries of the gate on site. He had been too single-mindedly intent on self destruction to take much notice of her then. Besides, she was a scientist. He hated geeks; more trouble then they're worth in his experience. He made an honourable exception for Catherine.
Then, when the gate was re-opened a year later they had met again when she transferred permanently to the mountain. By then he had found that it was possible to live again, to be human. However, he had never expected to meet and fall for a woman so quickly and completely.
O'Neill had not believed it would ever be possible to possess those kinds of feelings again. What energy he had left when he returned from missions, he focussed on her. To his complete surprise, and utter delight, she had reciprocated his feelings. He couldn't believe his luck. They had married a year later.
A year after that, she was dead at the hands of the scum sucking snake heads. He felt so empty without her, missed her so terribly. So now he focussed on revenge - and retribution. He had taken down a fair few Jaffa before coming to this reality.
When Major Samantha Carter had walked into the infirmary in this reality he had been staggered. He should have known, or guessed, but had preferred not to even face that prospect. His stomach had flipped and heart hammered heavily in his chest at the sight of her. She had taken his breath away.
Sam! She was alive, here and now. He had wanted to go to her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her. Of course, he did none of these things. This was not his Sam; his Sam was dead. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut all over again. While she and Hammond were there he managed to keep himself together. Once they left he had thrown up the contents of his stomach, unable to stop himself.
After all the tests they allocated a room to him and posted a couple of SFs at the door. He lay on the bed depressed and alone, thinking about his wife and everything he had lost; how lucky they were in this reality to still have it all. He was determined to do something. It was not in his nature to sit on his ass doing nothing. He'd go back on his own and pick them off one by one if he had to.
A small knock on his door disturbed his thoughts. It was her and he hastily stood, trying to hide his confusion and dismay. He guessed she'd been sent to check if he was okay. Sam thought O'Neill looked exhausted and very pale.
"Sorry to disturb you. I... you look like you could use some rest. I'll come back later."
"Sam?" She looked surprised at his use of her first name. No doubt his double called her Carter; he was, after all, her CO in this reality. "Please stay. I could use some company." Your company, he thought.
He sat back down on the bed indicating the space next to him, and she sat slightly uncomfortably and with a tight-lipped smile on her lips. O'Neill looked a little spaced out and, perhaps, depressed.
"Look." She said to him in a sympathetic tone, "I can't ever begin to know what you've been through. I know...uh...I know you've lost a lot."
His face eyes glistened with moisture from tears he was determined to withhold and his chocolate eyes turned a shade or two darker. He was struggling for control, and found it.
"I lost you. I watched you die Sam. Three days ago, helping us to defend the mountain. And here you are, alive and safe in this perfect world, and you don't even know me. Yeah sure you betchya... I lost a lot." He laughed bitterly.
Sam followed his gaze to a photograph he kept on the nightstand. He had put it in his pocket and brought it with him. She looked at it dumbly. It was her, and the Colonel. She was in a wedding dress, he in dress uniform holding her close to him. They were smiling and looking happy. She gasped at that implication, looking from the picture up to O'Neill.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. Oh my God, they were married in his reality. Her pulse quickened and she blushed, hastily getting up. "I take it where you're from we were..."
"Married." He nodded, and seeing the dismayed expression on her face added, "This makes you uncomfortable"
"No, no, not at all. I just... Yes, it's a little unnerving. I..."
A knock at the door interrupted her and an airman entered with a tray of food.
"Sir? Sorry, Major, I didn't realise..." He said as he saw her.
"Just...put it on the table, airman." And she signalled that he should leave them.
"Yes Ma'am. Sir"
"Close the door on your way out." Said O'Neill and Sam suppressed a grin as she had been about to say the exact same thing. O'Neill approached the table where the airman had set down his meal.
"I haven't had a hot meal in forever. Just a couple of weeks ago, we were celebrating our first anniversary. Then we got the call that the Goa'uld ships had been spotted entering our solar system. We just left everything. I blew out the candles and you turned off the oven. We just left. They didn't hit Colorado Springs from orbit like most of the big cities, so the table must still be set." He was almost talking to himself, he said it so quietly and with a catch in his throat. "Cold by now." He added and looked towards Sam longingly.
"Yeah. Listen, um, I should probably be..." She rose from the bed and started walking towards the door.
"Stay." O'Neill begged her.
"Colonel..." She was trying to resist his entreaty; it was hard.
"Please."
"Look, you're dealing with a loss right now that I can't even begin to... What I mean is, maybe I'm not the right person to help you." She muttered as she tried to ignore the distress in his voice, but O'Neill raced over to her, taking her arm and turning her round to face him.
"Oh God, Sam, yes you are. You're the only one who can. I miss her so much. You don't have to say anything, just..." His voice was almost a whisper, a plea, and the pain was clearly etched on his face, in his eyes. He made no attempt to hide it this time.
Sam's heart went out to him and she took his hand and squeezed it in sympathy. This prompted him to take her in his arms and hold her close. Initially Sam felt uneasy, then let him, comforting him with her own soft caress. It felt good to be encircled in his strong arms; too good. She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't her Colonel. He would never do this, wasn't interested in her that way in the least. She had not realised until now quite how much she wanted him to be, deep down. She had buried those feelings. It was not possible in this reality.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, not sure what reply she wanted.
"I can't. I..." O'Neill faltered, "I loved her. We were happy. We were good together. Not much more I can say."
Internally, Sam was in turmoil, but she just nodded at him briefly. Lucky them, she thought, or maybe not so lucky. He had lost her and she could see that the pain of that loss was almost overwhelming to him. She led him back to the bed and just held him. If he wanted to talk he would. She knew he wouldn't though, not if he was anything like their O'Neill. This was what he needed, the physical comfort of her. Poor O'Neill, he'd lost a lot.
After a long time of silence and comfort Sam pleaded work and left him alone again. When she left he shed a silent tear and held the photo close to his heart, mourning her loss.
Sam felt flustered and confused. O'Neill had stirred the feelings within her that she had long suppressed. She shouldn't feel this way about her CO; couldn't allow it to surface like this. He was due back soon and she did not want him to sense or see anything of that. He'd probably have her off the team pronto. It would be too dangerous to let her stay. Even if there could never be anything like that between them - and she sincerely doubted he felt the same way - she wanted to stay on SG-1. She admired and respected the Colonel, his leadership, and would miss that; him, and the team. They had all become so much more than merely a team. It was important to her; they were important.
****************
Back in the present she was due to meet her team in the canteen in five minutes. It would be the first time she had seen their O'Neill since his double had arrived. She dreaded it, steeling herself for the feelings it might provoke within her.
When she arrived the others were already there. This Jack looked so different, yet the same.
"Hey Carter, nice of you to join us." Jack used his customary sarcastic manner to greet her.
"I'm not late, am I sir?" She answered defensively, looking briefly at her watch.
Jack just smiled enigmatically and Sam's legs went wobbly. She sat down opposite him, slightly shaky, trying to concentrate on her self control. Her heart rate had risen and she felt sure she must be a little red-faced.
They discussed the duplicate O'Neill situation. The Colonel was reluctant to offer help. O'Neill had been right about his thoughts on this; he was unwilling to risk lives for a reality that was not their own. Teal'c was inevitably on the Colonel's side; this reality was all that counted, he said. Carter and Daniel, however, were pleading with them to find a way of helping O'Neill's version of Earth. Had things been different they might have easily been in this situation themselves. They had made different choices, forged other alliances. There must be something they could do.
Quietly they argued through the whole thing; pros and cons. Jack kept glancing at Carter, curiously. As she was studiously trying to avoid his gaze, she didn't notice. He noticed her avoidance, however, and wondered how she felt about the alternate O'Neill, the marriage issue. His mind kept coming back to that, despite his best efforts. He had so been trying to ignore how he felt deep down about her that he had almost forgotten what he did feel until confronted with O'Neill's reality.
They had still reached no conclusions when they were called to the infirmary. O'Neill had been taken ill.
*******************
Janet didn't know what to think. She'd never seen anything like it before. O'Neill's face, his whole body, had distorted before her very eyes. He was not helped by the arrival of SG-1 in the infirmary. He rose from his bed when he saw Teal'c, calling him murderer. In his reality, Teal'c was still First Prime to Apophis; he had led the assault on the mountain, killed O'Neill's wife in front of his eyes. Teal'c left the infirmary, a tactical withdrawal, and Daniel followed him out. O'Neill didn't even know a Daniel Jackson in his reality so he thought it more diplomatic if he also withdrew.
O'Neill recalled his Sam talking to him about alternate realities. She'd lost him somewhat, but he had been trying to listen.
"My Sam mentioned something about... um... cascading trophy...something or other?" He gestured his frustration at not remembering what Sam had told him and could see by the bemused expressions that this Sam and the Doc didn't have a clue what he was talking about. "Alternate realities. Cascade... something, for crying out loud!"
Sam looked at Janet, still puzzled then smiled. She'd got it.
"Entropic Cascade failure!"
The two O'Neill's looked as confused and they had a few moments before.
"It's not medical, it's temporal. Entropic cascade failure, on a cellular level. I thought it would take years, not days. The increased entropy generated by two Colonel O'Neills existing in the same reality might...theoretically be causing a temporal distortion. It's a theory, although it seems it's not theoretical anymore." The O'Neills looked just as puzzled as ever. "Essentially, it's a side effect of travel through the quantum mirror."
. "Ok, so then how do I treat this?" Asked Janet.
"You can't." Sam replied, "the more time passes, the worse it should get."
"So I'm going to die here." O'Neill interjected.
"You're not gonna die." Jack stated emphatically.
"Actually, Sir..." The Colonel gave her one of his looks and she shrugged.
Once it had sunk in to the O'Neills it became clear as crystal; the O'Neill from the other side of the mirror could not stay in this reality. They had no choice but to find him a way to go home, or they were condemning him to a horrible death, sooner rather than later.
Jack noticed how solicitous Carter was towards O'Neill. It gave him pause for thought. Did she care about his double? This whole situation was confusing the hell out of him. He went off to speak to Hammond, leaving them alone.
******************
Agreeing with Hammond that they should try and find some way to help O'Neill, if they came up with a good plan, Jack returned to the infirmary to give his double the news. What he saw shook him to the core. Carter and O'Neill were locked in a kiss. This didn't seem to be any ordinary kiss. It appeared to have a passion and feeling that he had almost forgotten existed between a man and woman. Not able to bring himself to watch something so intimate, he coughed loudly to interrupt them.
Carter muttered "Sir", embarrassed, unable to look Jack in the eye and shifting nervously on her feet. O'Neill just winked at him. Jack wanted to knock his smug, self satisfied block off. Instead, he was all business, telling them about his discussions with Hammond and arranging for them to get together to discuss planning in thirty minutes.
Then he left them again feeling angry and upset. How dare this interloper take advantage of his 2IC. It should be him kissing Carter, not O'Neill. Oh god, Sam had fallen for a different version of him. The thought shocked him. He was jealous of himself, for crying out loud! It was crazy. For the first time his feelings for Sam struck him with a clarity he had never felt before. They were plain for him to see, not repressed and hidden deep as they normally were. Crap! What the hell was he supposed to do now?
His need to help O'Neill was suddenly even more pressing. He felt a desperate urge to get him safely back to his own reality; get rid of his rival. He knew it was stupid; it would do nothing to make Sam feel any differently towards him in this reality. In any event, what could he do about it even if she did feel like that about him? He started to dread their planned meeting; facing them would be hard. Jack spent the next thirty minutes fighting himself and his feelings. The Colonel, the tough and hardened soldier, within him won; at least for now, and on the surface. He was determined to show none of the inner turmoil. Carter must never know.
End Chapter 1
Continued in Chapter 2