"THE FRENCH DIMENSION" by TheArchivis
Based on the series "CODE LYOKO" created by Thomas Romain and Tania Palumbo
Based on the series "RICK AND MORTY" created by Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland
SCENE 1: COLD OPEN
EXT./LOW EARTH ORBIT
Morty is in the driver's seat of Rick's space car, wildly swerving around while Rick silently judges him from the passenger seat. Rick pulls a flask out from under his lab coat and takes a swig from it.
RICK
What are you even swerving for? There's nothing around us!
MORTY
We're in SPACE! Some of us aren't in space all the time!
Rick nearly spills his flask as Morty swerves to avoid crashing into a satellite. Rick puts his flask back in his lab coat.
RICK
Which is why I'm trying to teach you! So that when you ARE in space, you'll know what to do.
MORTY
We're supposed to be here so that you can teach me how to drive! This, this is nothing like driving a normal car! Why are we even here?
RICK
I just told you; so that you can- HIT THE BREAKS RIGHT NOW!
MORTY
Real funny, Rick-OH GOD!
Morty slams on the breaks and barely avoids making contact with a gigantic alien battleship that dwarfs Rick's car as it looms over them.
MORTY
Where did that even come from!
Rick just looks Morty in the eye without even saying a word.
MORTY
Rick? Why aren't you saying anything?
RICK
Don't move. It can't see you if you don't move.
A hatch on the side of the battleship opens up and fires a big ass laser at the satellite, destroying it.
CUT TO:
INT./SMITH HOUSE - LIVING ROOM, DAY
Summer is sitting on the couch dicking around on her phone while Jerry sits in his recliner watching a soap opera on TV. Close up on the TV screen where Mrs. Pancakes is in the arms of a strong, muscular man.
TV ANNOUNCER
We now return to the season finale of "The Days and Nights of Mrs. Pancakes".
MRS. PANCAKES
You don't KNOW ME.
SOME GUY
But I've GOT TO know you! It's time I finally GOT TO know you-
The television signal cuts out, static fills the screen.
JERRY (offscreen)
No!
Jerry gets up from his recliner and puts his hands on his head. Summer doesn't even look up from her phone.
BACK TO:
EXT./LOW EARTH ORBIT
The battleship blocks out the sun as it approaches the space car. Morty looks at Rick with sheer panic in his eyes; Rick looks back with complete boredom on his face.
MORTY
What do we do!
RICK
When I give the word, floor it.
Rick grabs the transmission and puts the space car in reverse. The battleship continues its slow approach.
RICK
Not yet…
The battleship keeps coming and scatters the debris field from the satellite. Morty is still freaking out.
RICK
Not yet…
The battleship gets up real close. It's so close that you can almost taste it. Rick pulls his portal gun out from under his lab coat.
RICK
Now! Do it now!
Morty slams on the gas pedal and the space car flies backwards away from the battleship. If the battleship notices them at all, it doesn't seem to give a shit what they're doing. Rick leans out the window and creates a portal; the car flies into it and…
EXT./SKY ABOVE PARIS, DAY
The car appears in a clear blue sky above Paris, France and begins heating up as it suddenly re-enters an atmosphere. The Eiffel Tower is clearly visible in the background. A piece of debris follows the space car through the portal and tears into the engine. The car starts smoking as it begins losing altitude.
MORTY
WE'RE GONNA DIE!
RICK
Move over.
Rick puts the transmission back in forward drive and calmly takes the wheel from Morty. Rick turns the space car around and steers it into a lazy-S pattern to burn off excess speed.
EXT./PARK, DAY
Close-up on a bird's nest nestled in the nook of a branch where a bird is tending to its eggs. The bird hears a high-pitched whine and looks behind it, where it sees the space car approaching at high speed. The high pitched whine resolves into Morty screaming as the bird flies away right before the space car crashes into the tree and drives itself into the ground. The top hatch opens up and Rick and Morty climb out of the car. Rick pops the top on the visibly smoking engine.
RICK
Well, looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while.
MORTY
What did you do!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?
RICK
I sent us to another dimension. Duh.
MORTY
But what kind of dimension?
Rick looks over his shoulder at Morty and points a screwdriver at him. He shrugs his shoulders.
RICK
I dunno. Another dimension.
MORTY
What do you mean you don't know? How do you know that there are people here? Or if the air doesn't have some kind of virus in it?
RICK
I just set the portal gun to find some place with a habitable planet and a genetic match of me on it. Beyond that I have NO idea where we are.
MORTY
Then why don't you use your portal gun to take us home?
RICK
And leave the car here? Besides, it looks like that dimension is about to get riggedy-riggedy-rekt. Might as well set up shop here.
MORTY
But you said that there was another you here. Maybe he can help us!
Rick raises his lab coat to show Morty a laser gun held in the waist of his pants.
RICK
Eh. We've dealt with that before.
JIM MORALES, a heavy-set man in a red and black tracksuit with a Band-Aid on his face, walks out from behind a tree with his hands above his head and approaches Rick.
JIM
Puis-je vous aider Monsieur?
SUBTITLE: Can I help you, sir?
CUE THEME MUSIC
RICK (to Morty)
Oh no, Morty. I think I found out what the gimmick here is.
MORTY
What. Are there alien hive minds? Cyborg dog people? (beat) Butts?
Rick pulls his laser gun out of his waistband and points it at Jim.
RICK
Worse; the French.
CUT TO OPENING TITLES
Author's Note: This won't be updated as quickly as my previous stories have been. Between working on an online college course over the summer and polishing a piece of original fiction that I've meant to start for some time, I simply don't have as much time as I normally would to work on fanfiction. That being said, I do hope that you stick around for my experiment in crossing over two works that in any sane world would have no business being crossed-over.