DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Superstars or Divas of World Wrestling
Entertainment. These romance stories are purely fictional. I will
restore the WWE's stars in the correct order when I am completed.
I will be assisted by my partner in crimes of romance, Dee Bryant, and our Betas, CB (Cricket Beta) and Princess DB (Dragon Beta)
In one split second, Princess DB floats in with a sign.
PRINCESS DB (sign): May I play Cupid?
EKB: Why?
PRINCESS DB (sign): Like you, I'm a sucker for sappy love stories.
EKB: You know Cupid wore a diaper, right?
PRINCESS DB (sign): Not in this story!
Dee Bryant and her Beta (in human form) greet EKB and CB notices a beautiful princess.
CB (sign): Hello Nurse!!
PRINCESS DB (sign): Hello yourself!
EKB: 'Sup Dee
Dee Bryant: 'Sup wit'chu?
EKB: Nothing. I do need you help though.
Dee Bryant: What'cha up to?
EKB: WWE Romance Fiction
Dee Bryant: How many couples?
EKB: About 6...not counting our Betas.
CB slides by the Princess with a sign "Have you ever been to the Virgin Islands?"
PRINCESS DB (sign): I'd love to! After the story?
CB (sign): It's a date!
EKB: Like I said, not counting our Betas. Who do we use?
Dee Bryant: I have the perfect hookups!
Dee Bryant lays down a list of couples on paper as follows: John Cena/Stephanie McMahon, Edge/Trish Stratus, Eddie Guerrero/Lita, Rob Van Dam/Victoria, Rey Mysterio/ Nidia, Undertaker/Stacy Keibler.
EKB: Dee, you're and evil genius.
Dee Bryant: I know...I know! EKB: And just so they know, these stories—element –wise—are rated TV-14. As for subject, it's rated DX! Discretion is advised...
Dee Bryant: ...but absolutely ignored!
Chapter 1: Dead Man...in Love!
Setting: Around SummerSlam 2004
(The Undertaker is in the Arena backstage relaxing when Test enters dragging the lovely Stacy Keibler in. Test as usual is berating Stacy.)
TEST: Stacy, I'm gonna say this for the last time: There is no man alive that wants you. You're my property!
TAKER: Hey Boy! The last time, I checked, that was a lady.
TEST: Back off UnderFaker! She's mine! She wants me! In fact, all the women of the WWE want me!
TAKER: Let's find out then...I'll see you in my yard. I win, we...Stacy and I go back to SmackDown!. Rest in Peace, Test.
TEST: Hold on Dead Man, If I win, Stacy stays with me!
TAKER: No problem! (walks off with evil laughter)
CB(sign): He's in major trouble!
Princess DB: You have no idea!
Dee Bryant: I foresee a funeral
EKB: Why do you think I ordered 72 dozen roses
Dee Bryant and Betas with signs: 72???
EKB: Yep! The first 36 are black. Just perfect for a funeral.
Dee Bryant: And the others?
EKB: Come later! Let's get to the match!
RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest here at SummerSlam, is the Love Her, Bury Him Match, Scheduled for One Fall. On his way to the ring, accompanied by Stacy Keibler, from Toronto, Canada, weighing 282 lbs...Test!
(Test marches to the ring with Stacy in a tight grip leading her to the corner and ordering her to stay there. As Test gets in the ring, Undertaker's Funeral March begins.)
RING ANNOUNCER: His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Paul Bearer, from Death Valley, weighing 328 lbs...The...Under...Taker!!
(Taker makes his entrance and gently caresses Stacy's cheek before turning the lights on in the arena. After the Dead Man removed his hat and coat, Test attacked Undertaker, runs off the ropes only to be caught by Taker's "goozle")
EKB: It's almost over
Dee Bryant: Was he that dumb, or was it just me
CB (with sign, smiling): Nope, he's that dumb!
Princess DB (holding a sign): Call the coroner!
(Undertaker chokeslammed Test in the middle of the ring. A Last Ride Powerbomb and Tombstone Piledriver later, it was all academic: 1...2...3!)
RING ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner, The Undertaker!!
(After the match, Stacy stepped in the ring and looked deep in to the eyes of the Undertaker. She then kneeled as the Dead Man would. Taker returned the gesture.)
BACKSTAGE (Stacy catches up with Taker after the show to thank him)
STACY: 'Taker...
TAKER: Just call me Mark.
STACY: OK...Mark, I just came to say thank you.
MARK: For freeing you from Test, I'd bury him again if I could.
STACY: Wanna bite to eat?
MARK: Sure. My treat.
STACY: OK. Let me change, and I'll see you in 30 minutes.
MARK: OK.
Princess DB (holding a sign): It all begins...NOW!
OUTSIDE THE ARENA
(The Long-Legged Diva, is outside awaiting her date wondering, "Where is he?" All of a sudden, she hears a motorcycle humming and notices Mark [The Undertaker] riding)
MARK: Your chariot awaits, Stacy.
(Stacy mounts the back wearing a black helmet with an Undertaker symbol on it. They ride to a five-star restaurant. During dinner they have a somewhat awkward conversation.)
STACY (After five minutes of awkward silence): Have you been here before?
MARK: Only with Rocky, Steve, Hunter and Kurt.
STACY: OK, I can't hold this secret any longer. MARK: What secret?
STACY: You are the reason why I became a wrestling fan, Mark, and over time, I have fallen in love with you.
MARK: Do you feel this way now?
STACY: I never stopped.
CB (holding his sign to Princess DB): Mark and Stacy sitting in the ring...
Princess DB (holding her sign): K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
EKB: Kill that noise!
Dee Bryant: Zip it, CB!
(Stacy takes Mark's hand in hers and sits next to him. She kisses him on the cheek...only to be drawn into a fuller, longer kiss)
MARK (almost breathless): May I take you back to your hotel room?
STACY (smiling): Sure.
(After dinner, they ride back to the hotel, and Mark walks Stacy back to her room.)
STACY: I enjoyed tonight. Thank you for a great evening, Mark.
MARK: My pleasure. I'm just sorry that this night has to end.
STACY: Who says so?
MARK (surprised): Stacy...
STACY: C'mon in. Besides, I want to see your lighter side.
MARK: Stacy, after tonight, you may not want to let that side of me go.
STACY: That's my plan.
MARK: Good! 'Cause after tonight, you can Rest...in...
STACY (cuts off Mark with a kiss): Peace!
I will be assisted by my partner in crimes of romance, Dee Bryant, and our Betas, CB (Cricket Beta) and Princess DB (Dragon Beta)
In one split second, Princess DB floats in with a sign.
PRINCESS DB (sign): May I play Cupid?
EKB: Why?
PRINCESS DB (sign): Like you, I'm a sucker for sappy love stories.
EKB: You know Cupid wore a diaper, right?
PRINCESS DB (sign): Not in this story!
Dee Bryant and her Beta (in human form) greet EKB and CB notices a beautiful princess.
CB (sign): Hello Nurse!!
PRINCESS DB (sign): Hello yourself!
EKB: 'Sup Dee
Dee Bryant: 'Sup wit'chu?
EKB: Nothing. I do need you help though.
Dee Bryant: What'cha up to?
EKB: WWE Romance Fiction
Dee Bryant: How many couples?
EKB: About 6...not counting our Betas.
CB slides by the Princess with a sign "Have you ever been to the Virgin Islands?"
PRINCESS DB (sign): I'd love to! After the story?
CB (sign): It's a date!
EKB: Like I said, not counting our Betas. Who do we use?
Dee Bryant: I have the perfect hookups!
Dee Bryant lays down a list of couples on paper as follows: John Cena/Stephanie McMahon, Edge/Trish Stratus, Eddie Guerrero/Lita, Rob Van Dam/Victoria, Rey Mysterio/ Nidia, Undertaker/Stacy Keibler.
EKB: Dee, you're and evil genius.
Dee Bryant: I know...I know! EKB: And just so they know, these stories—element –wise—are rated TV-14. As for subject, it's rated DX! Discretion is advised...
Dee Bryant: ...but absolutely ignored!
Chapter 1: Dead Man...in Love!
Setting: Around SummerSlam 2004
(The Undertaker is in the Arena backstage relaxing when Test enters dragging the lovely Stacy Keibler in. Test as usual is berating Stacy.)
TEST: Stacy, I'm gonna say this for the last time: There is no man alive that wants you. You're my property!
TAKER: Hey Boy! The last time, I checked, that was a lady.
TEST: Back off UnderFaker! She's mine! She wants me! In fact, all the women of the WWE want me!
TAKER: Let's find out then...I'll see you in my yard. I win, we...Stacy and I go back to SmackDown!. Rest in Peace, Test.
TEST: Hold on Dead Man, If I win, Stacy stays with me!
TAKER: No problem! (walks off with evil laughter)
CB(sign): He's in major trouble!
Princess DB: You have no idea!
Dee Bryant: I foresee a funeral
EKB: Why do you think I ordered 72 dozen roses
Dee Bryant and Betas with signs: 72???
EKB: Yep! The first 36 are black. Just perfect for a funeral.
Dee Bryant: And the others?
EKB: Come later! Let's get to the match!
RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest here at SummerSlam, is the Love Her, Bury Him Match, Scheduled for One Fall. On his way to the ring, accompanied by Stacy Keibler, from Toronto, Canada, weighing 282 lbs...Test!
(Test marches to the ring with Stacy in a tight grip leading her to the corner and ordering her to stay there. As Test gets in the ring, Undertaker's Funeral March begins.)
RING ANNOUNCER: His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Paul Bearer, from Death Valley, weighing 328 lbs...The...Under...Taker!!
(Taker makes his entrance and gently caresses Stacy's cheek before turning the lights on in the arena. After the Dead Man removed his hat and coat, Test attacked Undertaker, runs off the ropes only to be caught by Taker's "goozle")
EKB: It's almost over
Dee Bryant: Was he that dumb, or was it just me
CB (with sign, smiling): Nope, he's that dumb!
Princess DB (holding a sign): Call the coroner!
(Undertaker chokeslammed Test in the middle of the ring. A Last Ride Powerbomb and Tombstone Piledriver later, it was all academic: 1...2...3!)
RING ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner, The Undertaker!!
(After the match, Stacy stepped in the ring and looked deep in to the eyes of the Undertaker. She then kneeled as the Dead Man would. Taker returned the gesture.)
BACKSTAGE (Stacy catches up with Taker after the show to thank him)
STACY: 'Taker...
TAKER: Just call me Mark.
STACY: OK...Mark, I just came to say thank you.
MARK: For freeing you from Test, I'd bury him again if I could.
STACY: Wanna bite to eat?
MARK: Sure. My treat.
STACY: OK. Let me change, and I'll see you in 30 minutes.
MARK: OK.
Princess DB (holding a sign): It all begins...NOW!
OUTSIDE THE ARENA
(The Long-Legged Diva, is outside awaiting her date wondering, "Where is he?" All of a sudden, she hears a motorcycle humming and notices Mark [The Undertaker] riding)
MARK: Your chariot awaits, Stacy.
(Stacy mounts the back wearing a black helmet with an Undertaker symbol on it. They ride to a five-star restaurant. During dinner they have a somewhat awkward conversation.)
STACY (After five minutes of awkward silence): Have you been here before?
MARK: Only with Rocky, Steve, Hunter and Kurt.
STACY: OK, I can't hold this secret any longer. MARK: What secret?
STACY: You are the reason why I became a wrestling fan, Mark, and over time, I have fallen in love with you.
MARK: Do you feel this way now?
STACY: I never stopped.
CB (holding his sign to Princess DB): Mark and Stacy sitting in the ring...
Princess DB (holding her sign): K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
EKB: Kill that noise!
Dee Bryant: Zip it, CB!
(Stacy takes Mark's hand in hers and sits next to him. She kisses him on the cheek...only to be drawn into a fuller, longer kiss)
MARK (almost breathless): May I take you back to your hotel room?
STACY (smiling): Sure.
(After dinner, they ride back to the hotel, and Mark walks Stacy back to her room.)
STACY: I enjoyed tonight. Thank you for a great evening, Mark.
MARK: My pleasure. I'm just sorry that this night has to end.
STACY: Who says so?
MARK (surprised): Stacy...
STACY: C'mon in. Besides, I want to see your lighter side.
MARK: Stacy, after tonight, you may not want to let that side of me go.
STACY: That's my plan.
MARK: Good! 'Cause after tonight, you can Rest...in...
STACY (cuts off Mark with a kiss): Peace!